Mina Caputo’s story had already begun long before she became one of the most recognizable transgender figures in heavy music. Born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1973, she grew up with music as an important part of her identity and, as she later recalled, began experimenting with feminine presentation as a child. By her late teens, however, her life had taken an unexpected turn. She had imagined studying at Juilliard and pursuing classical music, but instead found herself at the center of New York’s emerging alternative-metal scene. At 19, she became the vocalist of Life of Agony, the Brooklyn band she co-founded with guitarist Joey Z, bassist Alan Robert and drummer Sal Abruscato. Their 1993 debut, River Runs Red, became a defining record of the era, its intensely personal songs about pain, alienation and emotional struggle establishing Caputo as a distinctive and emotionally exposed vocalist. Life of Agony's success came with a complicated personal cost. Caputo later described feeling trapped by the masculine identity expected of her as the front person of a successful metal band. She has said that she knew from an early age that she wanted to live as a woman, but did not initially have the language to understand her feelings. She spent years trying to reconcile that private reality with the public persona of a male rock singer. The band's rapid success after River Runs Red also meant that the life she had imagined for herself became increasingly difficult to pursue.
Life of Agony went through several chapters of separation and reunion. Caputo left the band in 1997, returned for its 2003 reunion, and appeared on Broken Valley in 2005. Around the same period, she continued developing a substantial solo career, eventually releasing several records outside Life of Agony. Her solo work gave her space to explore a more intimate and eclectic musical identity than the heavy sound for which she was best known. In 2011, Caputo publicly came out as transgender and began living openly as Mina. The announcement came during a period when Life of Agony was again drawing to a close, making the end of one chapter inseparable from the beginning of another. Her transition was not simply a change of public identity. It represented the release of something she had carried since childhood, after years of feeling that she was performing a role that did not belong to her. In interviews at the time, she spoke candidly about the fear involved in becoming vulnerable in front of an enormous audience, while also making clear that she could no longer continue living against her own sense of self.
Her musical life continued immediately. In 2011, she also formed the project The Neptune Darlings with Ryan Oldcastle and Michael Shaw, releasing Chestnuts & Fireflies. Two years later came As Much Truth As One Can Bear, her first solo album released under the name Mina Caputo. The record was closely connected to the emotional upheaval of her transition, and Caputo described it as a deeply personal statement. Around this period she was also performing live and receiving support from artists including Amanda Palmer and Laura Jane Grace, whose own public transition had created a particularly meaningful connection between the two musicians. The transition also changed the way Caputo related to her audience. She faced hostile reactions and lost relationships with some people, but she also found considerable support. Her openness placed her in an unusual position within a traditionally masculine metal culture, while her willingness to speak about gender, vulnerability, pain and authenticity made her story meaningful far beyond music. Rather than abandoning the musical world in which she had built her career, she returned to it as herself.
|
| “Pursuit of the Truth” – BlazeTV (YouTube) |
Monika: Hello Mina! It’s wonderful to have you with us today.
Mina: Hi hun!!! Greetings! Blessings!
Monika: I’ve been listening to your first solo album as a woman, “As Much Truth As One Can Bear” (2013), and I love every bit of it, the lyrics and the music both. In the opening track “Identity,” you sing, “…I’m sure that I’m not a woman…” That’s a striking line coming from the woman you’ve always been.
Mina: Well, the correct lyrics to one of the verses are: “I am not a man / I am not a woman / all I could taste is my burning heart / I’m sure I’m not a man / I’m sure I’m not a woman / all I could wear is a willing smile.” It’s true, I identify completely with the feminine, but…
To me, the spirit has no gender. I truly identify with spirit, or consciousness, which is all energies, all knowing, and all not knowing. So placing myself inside a boxed word, or language, doesn’t really sit well with me.
Monika: In “Runaway Girl,” you run from hatred, violence, and murder, yet you admit the future seems brighter. Is that a reference to transphobia? Do you believe things are truly getting better for trans women?
Mina: You missed the point completely, but I understand your interpretation, I think. I could only hope that the future of the world will be brighter. I live in a friendly universe. All of these “bad” things happening in the world are supposed to be happening, and our desire to change it all is supposed to be happening as well.
|
| Courtesy of Mina Caputo. |
Monika: You funded the recording yourself and used your Indiegogo campaign to cover manufacturing, distribution, and promotion. How did the campaign turn out?
Mina: The campaign was a miracle, and my fans are too. Bless all the folks who take the time to simmer in my work and passions for the creative, I am incredibly thankful for them all. I always pay for my recordings, “Died Laughing” in 2000 was the last album a label owned. I own all of my masters.
Monika: You also invited your backers to send in poetry, prose, or personal letters that might end up in your lyrics. Did anyone take you up on it?
Mina: Yes, to this date I still do it. I’ve made about 20 to 25 songs for fans.
Monika: What led you to release the album independently? A major label might have given it a bigger promotional push.
Mina: Maybe, maybe not. I’ve worked with majors, Epic, EMI, you name it, and they all blew it in the past. My art and music are original and dangerous, and labels, the majors, don’t want originality.
If you don’t sound like Pepsi or Starbucks, they’re not interested. Besides, I make music because I have to, not because I’m chasing fame or riches. Been there, done that, and turned my back on it all in 1996.
Monika: You also created the art book that accompanies the album, all on your own.
Mina: Yup, I made it all with my own beautiful hands and imagination.
|
|
Mark Thousands and Mina Caputo interview for “A Love Talismanic.” Station Records. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: Has your transition reshaped the way you see the world as an artist?
Mina: My artistic perception changes every day. I never experienced “the rut,” I won’t allow it. You must take risks as an artist, even if that means failure, which is totally cool by me too.
Monika: In the video for “Identity,” the lead single, you’re shown being intimate with a man, though you’ve been open about being drawn to women.
Mina: I love spirit, good souls, it doesn’t matter the shell the person is carrying. In simpler terms, I love men, women, and men and women of the trans experience. I don’t judge, or pre-judge. You can’t help who you’re attracted to. Or nobody.
Monika: What role does love play in your life?
Mina: Love is a jolly word. Love is now, right now, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but right now. Love is the miracle of our presence, our awareness. Love is breathing. It’s the mystery of now. It’s very important. It’s all that I am, and it’s all that you are as well.
Monika: During your transition, were there any transgender role models you looked up to?
Mina: Many people inspired me and gave me the courage to be fearlessly me, all walks of life, my real friends, my real family members. I really had to face myself though, and reveal my true nature fearlessly to myself. I don’t compare myself to or follow anyone. Instinct pushed me. It always will.
|
| Courtesy of Mina Caputo. |
Monika: What was the hardest part of coming out?
Mina: Re-wiring my silly fear-based thoughts, and creating a new thought system within to help me survive.
Monika: Do you see yourself as a role model for other transgender artists?
Mina: I hope to inspire folks, is all. Am I a she-roe, a heroine, a role model? No, I don’t play ego games with myself, or with the world’s eye.
My ego has eroded down to a grain of sand. I just want folks to love themselves, and spread love, and give with no expectation of a return trade.
Monika: What about fashion? What do you usually like to wear, and are there designers, colors, or trends you gravitate toward?
Mina: Yes, I love to be naked, naked, naked. Clothes are annoying. A silk robe will do.
Monika: Plenty of transgender women choose to tell their story in a memoir. Has that idea ever crossed your mind?
Mina: Well, a book deal is in the works. That’s all I can share for now.
Monika: Is there anything new you’re working on these days?
Mina: Yes… I am writing a new Mina Caputo album. I also want to write a new album for the Neptune Darlings project I’ve got going on with my friend Ryan Oldcastle. I’m kind of pre-meditating it. We’re both in our own witty way!
Monika: Mina, thank you so much for this interview!
Mina: Thank you, Monika!
All the photos: courtesy of Mina Caputo.
© 2014 - Mina Caputo & Monika Kowalska
