Vikki-Marie Gaynor’s story is an inspiring example of a woman who makes her living in a profession traditionally dominated by men. As an English truck driver featured in the British Channel 4 documentary MotherTruckers, she offers a glimpse into the demanding world of long-distance trucking and the women who choose to make their careers behind the wheel of heavy goods vehicles. Behind her appearance on television, however, lies a much more challenging personal story. Vikki-Marie has spoken openly about her experiences as a trans woman, the prejudice she encountered during her transition, and the determination that helped her rebuild her life. In 2007, she became involved in an employment discrimination case against DHL/Exel and the recruitment agency Blue Arrow after losing her regular truck-driving work amid mistreatment by colleagues. In 2008, an employment tribunal ruled in her favour, awarding her compensation.
Rather than allowing these experiences to define her future, Vikki-Marie pursued education and developed new professional skills. She qualified as a beautician, nail technician and massage therapist, including as a level 4 sports masseuse. She also trained in equality and diversity and became an activist speaking out against transphobia and hate crimes. Her earlier appearance in Transition, a 2011 documentary directed by Tim Brunsden and Andy McCann, had given her another opportunity to share her experiences and reach people who might be struggling with similar feelings. In MotherTruckers, Vikki-Marie brought visibility to transgender women in a profession where women were still a small minority. Her story is not simply about driving trucks, but also about standing up for oneself, pursuing new ambitions and insisting on the right to live and work with dignity.
Monika: Vikki-Marie, welcome! It is a pleasure to have you with us.
Vikki-Marie: Hello Monika! It’s a pleasure to finally talk. It seems like a long time since I began to follow you, which was about the time of my Tribunal against DHL/Blue Arrow in 2007.
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| WLMLT. Vikki-Marie Gaynor. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: To begin, please tell our readers a little about yourself.
Vikki-Marie: I am a loud and proud trans lady who was forced into becoming an activist against transphobia and hate crimes due to being a victim of both. My life during and after the transition was not the “wonderful time” that I envisaged it would be. However, I went down the road of EDUCATION and began to study. This allowed me to see the potential in my life, and with a few goals in place and some newfound determination, I set out to prove to the world “Who I would have been if I had been born in the correct gender.” Since then I have become a fully qualified beautician, nail tech, and masseuse, as well as a level 4 sports masseuse, trainer in equality and diversity, and activist.
Monika: Education clearly opened new doors for you. Where has that road taken you since?
Vikki-Marie: The road I took allowed me to become one of the only persons in my family to wear “Cap N Gown,” and it has spurred me on to improve my life in all aspects. I have gone from working as a truck driver to working in an office, with ambitions to get “The Big Chair” (and the Big Pay packet). So I endeavor to pick up the skills that I will require to re-enter management in the gender that I have been all my life.
Monika: Management seems to be a big part of your plans. What kind of manager do you want to be?
Vikki-Marie: I know I am a good manager, but the last time I was in that post my life was in turmoil. My heart was in conflict over the way I dress and live my life. This is now resolved, and I will ensure that all staff in my place of work are treated equally and with respect. This is a goal I have set myself. We all need to believe in who we are, “not” who we are perceived to be. Nobody knows what I have done to be ME! This is my life... and I will live it to the FULL!!! I do not need or seek your permission. (Steps off the soapbox!) Sorry, I do go off sometimes. Life is good and is getting better. Just allow me to be me, and I will work my (cute) ass off to make any part of my life become the way I want it to be!
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| Life as a Trucker is so Much FUN!!! |
Monika: Your appearance in the Channel 4 documentary MotherTruckers (2012) is what many people know you for. Did you like the film?
Vikki-Marie: I really enjoyed every part of it. The filming was something I was getting used to, though I am still not happy with the way I look on film. However, I am who I am and cannot afford to change this, so I just GET ON WITH IT to the best of my present financial ability (with time I hope this will improve). I have been in front of the camera a few times and LOVE it. I have also tried to learn skills from behind the camera in the editing room (see my YouTube films).
Monika: What do you take away from that experience as a whole?
Vikki-Marie: The program was brilliant, and I have become great friends with Emma the Ballerina from the program and others. So it is a part of my life that makes me smile, and it was all done as Vikki-Marie, which makes it a very special memory to me. I could not believe that it was only one program, as there are many problems with the transport industry and lady truckers that would be more interesting than some of the trucking shows that we have at present. So I ask you all to write to Channel 4 and ask. I am available!!! LOL
Monika: MotherTruckers was not your first documentary. In 2011 you took part in “Transition”, directed by Tim Brunsden and Andy McCann. What does that project mean to you?
Vikki-Marie: That is one that still makes me smile, as I was able to get a small part of my life out on the web in a way that I know has helped many people who are feeling the way that I have felt in the past. Life since that production has got better and better, but I do still get wonderful comments in reaction to it. The voice from that production was also used in a cartoon to promote Transgender Day of Remembrance 20th November, in which we remember all our brothers and sisters who have died because they were trans! I thank my guardian angel that I woke up after all my beatings, as there are many who did not, or cannot tell others about them. I fight to stop it from happening to others. The film was entered in a worldwide documentary competition and we got into the last 50, so I think that Tim and Andy are so talented, and I hope they will update it one day.
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| A Night out with Friends, loving Life. |
Monika: Picture an attractive blonde woman behind the wheel of a big truck. How do male drivers react when they see you?
Vikki-Marie: For the most part “Respectful” is the word I would use. I get the door held open, and I do get some smiles. However, there are many “Old School” in this trade, and they are insulting and hurtful… They like to comment on my life without even getting to know me. To them I always think to myself: “BEEN CALLED WORSE BY BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU.” AT THIS POINT I ALSO THINK f**k YOU!!! But I never say it.
Monika: As a trans woman, you fell victim to many acts of discrimination and prejudice. You were forced out of your job at the Kirkby-based haulage and delivery firm DHL/Exel, and at Blue Arrow Employment Agency, because of your gender identity, and the case went to an Industrial Tribunal. How did it end?
Vikki-Marie: DHL/Exel were also found guilty of sexual discrimination “in part due to my transition.” The Tribunal judged in my favor and awarded me approx. £20k. Between the 2 global employers, DHL/Exel were embarrassed to have a trans driver. They went through the motions of being a supportive employer, as they offered me full protection from adverse treatment during meetings with high-level managers and many promises of equal and fair treatment, which I sum up in just one word: “FAIL.”
Monika: What did that treatment look like in practice?
Vikki-Marie: The promises were all hollow and the support NEVER materialized. Prior to my transition I was a respected and reliable AGENCY driver with a regular run and regular shifts of 5 or 6 per week. I was employed for 2 weeks after becoming Vikki-Marie, and in this time I was insulted by my colleagues and told to use the disabled toilet as the women did not want me in there, and I did not want to use the Male TOILET as I was not male. My belongings were removed from the truck in a bin bag and dumped in the disabled toilet, to name just a few points. This led to the final step, where they had me train the person who would replace me in the use of the digital tacho and then reduced my shifts to zero in a period of just a fortnight.
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| Transgender Day of Remembrance - Vikki-Marie's Story. Lizzy the Lezzy. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: And what role did the employment agency play in all of this?
Vikki-Marie: Blue Arrow Employment were also found guilty of sexual discrimination “in part due to my transition.” They stood back and took their share of my hard work, as agencies do when they employ you. However, when DHL/Exel started to treat me in this manner they did NOT help me at all, even when I needed their assistance to prevent me from being out of work. THEY were more scared to lose the contract to supply this depot, and with this in mind, they found the replacement for me and did not help me when they could see that my treatment was against their own policies as well as the agreement they had with DHL/Exel on equal and fair treatment of their staff. Again I say “FAIL.” The 2 years I fought this case under the Gender Recognition Act 2004/05 had a very adverse effect on my personal mental health.
After many years I can see the positive points that I had to develop due to my treatment, but I wish I had just been allowed to continue to work without prejudice, as I was a good trucker then, and because I wear make-up and changed my name, this DOES not make me forget how to drive trucks.
Monika: Then, a year later, you were brutally beaten in Liverpool. What can you tell us about it?
Vikki-Marie: This is shown ever so well in a documentary that I helped to film called “Pink Past and Present.” It shows the way that the Gay Scene in Liverpool developed from the 50’s to the present day, including the implementation of “Liverpool Pride.” Spend some money and order the DVD. It is well worth a watch. I have been the victim of hate crime too many times, and the way it made me feel each time was just a dreadful place for any person to be. The incident in Liverpool was a dreadful beating, and I am so happy I survived it. As I was ex-army and a blue belt in ju-jitsu, I felt confident that I could protect myself. However, when they hit you with a baton and knock you out, and then continue to kick you while you are unconscious, the feelings of pain run MUCH DEEPER THAN THE PHYSICAL.
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| Her speech against hate crimes: “Taking a Stance against Transphobia.” |
Monika: Was that the worst attack you have suffered?
Vikki-Marie: The worst incident to date was the beating I took at the hands of a serving Merseyside police officer (Merseyside Police to date still refuse to apologize to me). I reported a burglary, and when the police came to investigate, the officers on the scene took insult to my trans status and arrested me on charges of preventing a PC from doing their duty (harassing me and spraying me with CS gas, then dragging me into the street to be humiliated in front of my neighbors), as well as threatening to arrest them if they came to my aid, which seems prejudicial to me.
Monika: How did those experiences affect you afterwards?
Vikki-Marie: This really did affect me. I became clinically depressed and suffered from acute PTSD and a fear of uniforms and Police. In fact, it was a horrible time and made me question many things in my life, and I attempted suicide three times. With much time I have been able to set up coping mechanisms, including becoming a masseuse. When I am doing a massage I am able to calm down and relax myself as well as my client. I am a holistic therapist and love the feeling that comes with treating others for stress and general pains in their bodies.
Monika: When you were transitioning, did you have any transgender role models to look up to?
Vikki-Marie: I was hooked on the case of Jan Hamilton (Sex Change Soldier), she was fantastic, as well as the older trans icons such as April Ashley, Caroline Cossey, Rita Hesner, to name just a few. The journeys of many trans people in my past have ended up either in court or even the hospital, which I feel is WRONG, so I will continue to tell my story in the hope that one day it will help someone to become the TRUE person that they want to be. My story, my journey is not an unusual one. What is unique about me is ME!!! Many people who read this will not understand, and for those who do, well done! I love you ALL!
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Vikki-Marie Gaynor.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
