Denise Brogan-Kator is an American attorney, transgender activist, and businesswoman who became a prominent advocate for LGBT equality and legal protections for transgender people and same-sex families. A veteran of the U.S. Navy Submarine Force, she served as Executive Director of Equality Michigan, a statewide LGBT advocacy organization, before joining the Family Equality Council in 2012 as Senior Legislative Counsel. She previously co-founded the Rainbow Law Center with her wife, Mary Kator, to provide legal services to LGBT individuals and families in southeastern Michigan. Brogan-Kator was the first openly transgender student to attend the University of Michigan Law School, graduating in 2006, and later became involved in teaching LGBT law. Her work has focused on combating discrimination, advancing equal rights, and ensuring that LGBT families receive fair treatment under the law.
Born in 1954, Brogan-Kator began her professional career in business and finance, earning an accounting degree, becoming a certified public accountant, and obtaining an MBA from the University of Colorado. Her life took a new direction in the 1990s, when she began living openly as a transgender woman. Despite her strong professional record, she lost several jobs after employers discovered her transgender identity, experiences that deepened her commitment to fighting discrimination. At the age of 49, she entered the University of Michigan Law School in 2004, becoming its first openly transgender student. After graduating in 2006 and passing the Michigan bar examination in 2007, she and her wife established the Rainbow Law Center. She subsequently played an important role in Michigan's LGBT rights movement, serving as chair of the Triangle Foundation's board and helping bring about its merger with Michigan Equality to form Equality Michigan. She became the organization's executive director in 2010. In 2012, she joined the Family Equality Council, where she worked to advance legal protections for LGBT families at the state and national levels. A respected speaker and advocate, Brogan-Kator has drawn on her experiences as a transgender woman, attorney, and former business executive to promote equality, dignity, and fair treatment under the law.
Monika: Denise, welcome! It is a real pleasure to have you with us today.
Denise: Hello, Monika! Thank you for having me.
Monika: Please tell me a little about yourself and what fills your days at the moment.
Denise: Well, the thing that is most present for me these days is the birth of my first granddaughter. So, despite all my accomplishments and activities, being a grandmother is currently my most important and most exciting job. And family is, and has always been, at the root of my passions. It is such a natural fit for me to work for the Family Equality Council.
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| Denise on the US Navy boxing team. |
Monika: Before your professional career took off, there were your years in the U.S. Navy Submarine Force. How do you remember them?
Denise: I recall those years with great fondness. I enlisted in the US Navy on my 17th birthday, so I was quite young, which means there are several decades between me and the time I was serving. And we all know that memory often distorts reality. Still, I am enormously proud of my service. I began attending reunions of my former boat, the USS Grayback, a few years back, and it is my hope and intention not to miss another one. I am delighted to report that my former shipmates have welcomed me.
Monika: Your business career rose steadily after university, all the way to Vice President of Finance with a Florida medical products company. Yet it came to an abrupt halt when you were fired because of your transgender status.
Denise: Yes, that's true. In fact, at that particular company, I had a written record of exemplary service. The owner once said to me that I “saved his company” through my re-working of the organization's business and financial systems. But after he discovered that I was transgender, he called me into his office and told me I was fired. Another vice president came into the office with a box of my personal effects from my desk drawer, and I was escorted off the premises. I consulted an attorney, with my written evaluations in hand, only to be told there was nothing that could be done; the law did not protect against discrimination based on gender identity or gender expression.
Monika: Discrimination at work led you to the University of Michigan Law School. Was the unfair treatment what pushed you in that direction?
Denise: Yes, but also more than that. I also experienced a significant threat to my relationship with my children during my divorce from their mother. During that time, a motion was filed to have my parental rights terminated, for no reason other than my being transgender. I asked my attorney if the threat was real, and he assured me that it was. Those two experiences, combined with my own internal need and desire to “fight the good fight” and give back to a community that welcomed me when others rejected me, are what motivated my decision to go to law school. And, as it turned out, I was the first openly transgender law student to matriculate at that Top-10 law school (I later also became the first openly transgender law professor at the University of Michigan Law School).
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| Speaking on a panel about transgender service in the military. |
Monika: Your activism began in the mid-1990s, when you co-founded Transgender Officers Protect and Serve (TOPS), a national organization that worked to promote transgender equality.
Denise: Yes. A good friend of mine, a deputy sheriff in the county in which I lived, had the idea, and he, my best friend (another transgender attorney), and I started the organization. It only lasted a couple of years, as all three of us were pulled in different directions professionally and wound up in very different parts of the country. But it was the start of my activism.
Monika: How has life for transgender women in American society changed since those early days of your activism?
Denise: That question is difficult to answer, primarily because it is nearly impossible to separate the issue of transgenderism from other issues of race and class. For example, if you are an African-American transgender woman who lives through sex work, you are in danger of grave physical harm. Very few places still offer protections against employment discrimination. Still, the murder rate of transgender women seems to have slowed slightly. And there are more places than ever where discrimination on the basis of gender identity or gender expression is prohibited. There have also been a couple of good court cases and administrative rulings which help in those cases.
Finally, we are more visible now than ever before. That visibility is a double-edged sword: the far right often opposes anti-discrimination protections merely on the basis of the protections they offer transgender women. But the other side is that people are starting to become more aware of who we are and to see our humanity. In the long run, that will win the day, in my opinion.
Monika: When did you make your own transition, and how hard was the process?
Denise: I came out at 38 years old. The physical process of transition was expensive and time-consuming (the Standards of Care require counseling, for example). There was electrolysis, hormones, and therapy, all of which cost money and take time. But, in the end, that was the easy part. The loss of my family unit was the most difficult and challenging part. Plus, after my divorce, I often wondered if I'd ever find true love again (I have).
Monika: Were there any transgender role models you looked up to during your transition?
Denise: Honestly, no. When I first came out to myself, I didn't realize there were any other people like me, anywhere. Eventually, I came to know many, many others, but I wouldn't say any of them were role models, per se. Possibly my best friend, Michelle. She was a probation officer when I met her (we were both relatively new to the transgender world at the time). She also lost her marriage shortly after I did. She also went to law school (in fact, she bravely transitioned IN law school). So, she may have been a role model for me.
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| With her three daughters at her youngest's wedding. |
Monika: Looking back, what was the hardest part of coming out?
Denise: Losing my family. Having the woman whom I married, had three children with, and vowed to love for the rest of my life divorce me was very hard, very painful. Being able, as a result, to see my children only on weekends and holidays thereafter was hard. And eventually, losing the relationship with my eldest daughter remains the most painful aspect of my coming out. I also lost two jobs directly related to my transition, but that matters nothing when compared to the loss of my nuclear family.
Monika: Some argue that transgenderism is the next frontier for human rights. Do you see it that way?
Denise: I think it, in many ways, already is.
Monika: Has any book, film, or event about transgenderism particularly captured your attention?
Denise: Oh, goodness. Early on, I read anything and everything I could get my hands on! An early work that greatly influenced me was “The Apartheid of Sex” by Martine Rothblatt, whom I later got to know and work with. Years later, I really enjoyed “She's Not There” by Jenny Boylan. But, truthfully, I've read dozens of books. I used to hand out a list of books whenever I gave talks at colleges and universities.
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers, and books for years. What is your view of how they have been portrayed so far?
Denise: I think that we are, slowly, starting to see a shift toward positive portrayals. Most of our representation in the media has been stereotyped as sex workers or evil characters. I recall a line from the movie “Sleepless in Seattle” where a friend tries to dissuade the female lead from going to meet the male lead by saying, “the guy could be a crackhead, a transvestite, a flasher, a junkie, a chain-saw murderer…” But some wonderful stories like “Normal” and “TransAmerica” have begun to showcase our real lives.
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| Meeting the President of the US. |
Monika: The transgender cause is usually presented together with the other LGBT communities. As the last letter in the abbreviation, is the transgender community able to promote its own cause within the group?
Denise: Like all alliances, the answer must be: yes and no. Too often, I've witnessed the LGB community leave the T community behind. Even now, I'm working on a non-discrimination bill in Michigan where a prominent gay businessman has said that protections for the LGB community are enough for now, and that such a bill should pass, stripped of its protections for the transgender community. Still, in the broader public's mind, there isn't much distinction between the letters. And it's the broader public whose hearts and minds we must influence if we are ever to have full, lived, and legal equality. So, I'm a big fan of maintaining our tight relationship with the LGB community and working to strengthen its commitment to the T community.
Monika: In the 1960s and 70s, Harvey Milk became the face of gay activism. Is there anyone in the US transgender community whose actions could be compared to his?
Denise: Tough question. Harvey Milk was a first. Out, proud, visible. Many transgender people live such lives today. He also served as a focal point, a rallying point. We have several people who might be that for transgenderism, or who at least aspire to such. I have great admiration and respect for several such individuals. I hesitate, however, to name them, only for fear of omitting someone who deserves to be mentioned.
Monika: Politics is another arena worth exploring. Are you active in it, do you take part in any lobbying campaigns, and do you believe transgender women can make a difference?
Denise: I am active in politics personally and professionally. I have considered running for office (several times!) but have always been persuaded that it wasn't a good option for me. So, I support progressive candidates. Professionally, I lobby regularly on bills that affect LGBT families. In one case, in Michigan a couple of years ago, I lobbied a lawmaker who had introduced a bill to prohibit the state from funding “sex change operations” for prisoners in the state prison system, despite the fact that no such surgeries had ever taken place.
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| Mary and Denise on their wedding day, December 2005 in Canada. |
Monika: What role does love play in your life?
Denise: It is the driving force for everything in my life. I love my children beyond words. I love my work. And I am fortunate to have found a life partner whom I love deeply and who loves me. She has helped me through many trials over the past decade. She is smarter than I am (also an attorney) and is a great sounding board for things I think about.
Monika: Many transgender women choose to write memoirs. Has the thought of writing one ever crossed your mind?
Denise: Often. But, in the end, “many,” as you say, have already been written, and I don't want to write a “me too” book. If I had something to add to the conversation, I would write one. I may write my own life story just for use by my family, but I doubt I'll ever attempt to publish such a work.
Monika: What new projects are on your plate at the moment?
Denise: As I said at the outset, I am focused on being a really good grandmother. And I'm working hard at my job to try to bring legal and social equality to the LGBT-family community. Currently, I'm working with some terrific activists and advocates in the deep South to provide LGBT-headed families who are living in poverty with basic family-protection legal documents. I'm very excited about that.
Monika: Is there any advice you would offer to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Denise: I bristle at the term “girl” unless you're referring to people under a certain age. But, as to anyone who struggles with gender dysphoria, I can only recommend finding a good therapist. When I was coming out, we used to joke that we didn't have gender dysphoria, we had gender euphoria. That's how it felt for me: euphoric. To have finally realized my own sense of self, to have unshackled myself from the bonds of living as a male in a male-dominated society, was liberating and joyful. But even I needed counseling to ensure that I navigated the waters of gender transition carefully. And when such transition brought tears and fears (as it inevitably must), my therapist was there to help me steer clear of self-destructive thoughts and ideas.
Monika: Denise, thank you so much for this conversation!
All the photos: courtesy of Denise Brogan-Kator.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
