Ava is a transgender woman and entertainer for Carnival Cruise Line, where she travels the world, meets people from all backgrounds, and enjoys a career filled with excitement and adventure. When she’s not performing, she indulges in her love for gaming and cooking, always on the lookout for new recipes to share with her family. She also runs a YouTube channel dedicated to ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) content.
Monika: Hello Ava! Thank you so much for accepting my invitation!
Ava: Hello Monika!
Monika: Could you introduce yourself and share a bit about your passions and interests?
Ava: Of course! I work for Carnival Cruise Line as an entertainer; I travel the world, meet people from all around, and get paid to have fun. I’m also an insufferable nerd and gamer. When not working, I’m either gaming or finding a recipe to cook up to share with my family. I also run a YouTube channel for people who experience the phenomenon ‘autonomous sensory meridian response,’ also known as ASMR. Performing on a cruise ship allows me to combine my love for entertainment with my passion for travel. One of my favorite things is seeing how different cultures celebrate music and dance.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition journey on Reddit, and how has the experience impacted you?
Ava: It began as a place to reach out to people in similar situations to me, trying to gauge how the community thought my transition was going. I have few friends who are trans themselves, and so this became a window to the community in which I felt the validation I felt I needed at the time to help me along. Over time, it became more than just validation, it turned into a way to inspire and support others who might be struggling. Seeing my journey resonate with people has made me realize how important visibility and shared experiences are in our community.
Monika: I'm sure you receive a variety of questions from your Reddit audience. What topics do they ask about the most, and is there one question that surprises you?
Ava: I often get people asking about my glasses, believe it or not… apparently they’re pretty cool, haha! I’ve received questions about my working on ships and how that is as a trans woman. Living on ships is almost a mini-society, so there are lots of different opinions and dynamics at play there. People are also curious about how I navigate healthcare while constantly traveling, which is a challenge many don’t think about. I love answering these questions because they help break misconceptions about both my job and my transition.
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| The Return of AvaSMR (YouTube). |
Monika: Have you ever received a particularly strange or unexpected question? If so, what was it?
Ava: Luckily, I haven’t had one of those… not yet, anyway! I’ll let you know if that changes! That said, I do get some amusingly random questions. People have wild imaginations when it comes to life on a cruise ship!
Monika: At what stage of your transition would you say you are right now?
Ava: This is a question I don’t like to answer... people are always concerned with the stage of a trans person’s transition and whether or not they have had/will have/are happy with surgeries. I prefer to focus on how I feel in my own skin rather than ticking off milestones. Transition is deeply personal, and everyone’s journey looks different.
Monika: Are you happy with the changes brought by hormone therapy?
Ava: I am, for the most part. I believe every person can be critical of themselves, though. We all have our days. That said, I try to remind myself of how far I’ve come and focus on the positives. Seeing progress, even in small ways, keeps me motivated.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models or individuals who inspire you?
Ava: Definitely! Laverne Cox, for obvious reasons. I think she’s done great things for our community. A friend of mine, Charlie Martin, too. She is a fantastic race car driver and recently competed on the UK version of Ninja Warrior. Both of them have shown incredible resilience and have paved the way for many of us to be seen and heard. I really admire how they continue to break barriers.
Monika: We know that many people face significant challenges when they pursue the path to becoming their true selves, often losing family, friends, jobs, and their place in society. Did you face any similar struggles, and what was the hardest part of your coming out?
Ava: I’m extremely fortunate in that all of my friends, family, and acquaintances I’ve met before and after my transition began have been wonderful. My case is rare, and I understand it isn’t the same for most people. My family, especially my mother and father, are incredible people. I look up to them and love them very much for how they adapted to what was a huge change for not just me, but every individual involved in my life.
The hardest thing, surprisingly, was the ‘coming out’ itself. It was more about coming to terms with my own identity and figuring out how to present that to the world. I thought a lot about the impact it would have on those around me, and that made the process more daunting.
Monika: What’s your take on the current situation of transgender women in your country, especially regarding visibility, healthcare, and social support?
Ava: Trans women in The U.K. are incredibly underrepresented. There’s rarely any coverage in media unless you go looking for it yourself. Luckily, we do have the NHS healthcare service and private care, too. The systems are tight and take a while to move through, but transitioning is not something to be taken lightly, and I believe that whilst the end goal of a person’s transition is to have that goal be now, it shouldn’t be rushed. While we still have a long way to go in terms of societal acceptance and support, there are small steps being made in the right direction. It’s important to continue advocating for better representation, healthcare access, and policies that support transgender individuals throughout their journey.
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| Just another day in paradise with my parents. |
Monika: How do you feel about the portrayal of transgender stories or characters in films, books, or media outlets so far? Do you think there's room for improvement?
Ava: I would like for more trans voices to be seen and heard in all aspects of the media. I want to see more trans folk playing cis roles, just as is the case with cisgender folk playing trans roles. Representation is key, and it’s important for transgender people to have the opportunity to portray a range of characters, not just stereotypical roles. More accurate and diverse representations would help break down harmful misconceptions and bring us closer to true inclusivity in storytelling.
Monika: Are you involved in politics or any lobbying campaigns related to transgender rights? Do you believe transgender women have the potential to make a significant impact in politics?
Ava: With my job, I’m often out of the loop, so to say. I only have access to the outside world when on vacation from work or when I get a chance to catch up in port. So, not as involved as I could be, no. I would like to think we can, but I believe that the world still has a way to go before that happens as we all would like it. Transgender women definitely have the potential to make a difference in politics, but it will take time for society to fully embrace our voices and perspectives in positions of power. I do think that the more visible and engaged we become, the greater the change will be.
Monika: Are you actively involved in your local LGBTQ community, or do you prefer to stay more independent?
Ava: Not much, no. As I said earlier, I don’t have many trans friends myself. I tend to focus more on my work and personal life, but I do support LGBTQ causes from afar. I think it’s important for everyone to find their own balance within the community, whether they’re actively involved or not.
Monika: The transgender cause is often represented alongside the other LGBTQ communities. As the last letter in this abbreviation, do you think the transgender community is able to promote its own unique cause within the broader LGBTQ group?
Ava: I believe so. I still at times hope there is a day when the need for this community is no longer necessary. Everybody just ‘is’ and that’s that. Perhaps not in my lifetime. It’s important to have solidarity within the LGBTQ+ community, but also to make sure the unique struggles of each group are recognized and addressed. The more we understand each other, the stronger our collective voice will be.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What kinds of outfits do you typically wear? Are there any specific fashion designs, colors, or trends you gravitate toward?
Ava: I’m so glad you asked. I’m a little bit of a shopaholic. I never used to be until about 6 months ago, though. Gaming was overtaken by clothes as I’ve started to develop my own style more, which usually consists of anything 90s-esque; high waisted jeans, band t-shirts coupled with a heeled ankle boot, through to my more elegant evening looks which are usually tailored jumpsuits with statement rings from Etsy crafters and Aldo heels.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they play an important role in the community?
Ava: I haven’t followed them often, so I can’t comment on this. But I believe pageants in themselves to be art, and I love art! All for the art. I think beauty pageants can be empowering for many, as they offer a platform to express confidence and embrace individuality. It’s amazing to see how they can help raise visibility for the transgender community.
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| Always channeling the 90s. |
Monika: How has love evolved for you throughout your transition? What role does it play in your life now?
Ava: Love has changed for me during my transition, quite a bit. As soon as I started my transition, I believed the ‘goal’ was to find a good-looking guy and affirm myself as the woman I was and live happily ever after. Which I did, for a time. A relationship turned sour and it wasn’t a good time for me during the aftermath of it ending, and I really struggled. I realized that it wasn’t what I wanted, but that being with that person made me feel confident, wanted, and sexy.
Nowadays, I get that from myself, and my family. My family cares about me greatly and I love them. I learned to love myself again as I did prior to my transition, and a romantic relationship for me now is a way to enhance my life, not give it purpose. Love now feels more about personal fulfillment and growth, rather than seeking validation from someone else. I’ve found peace in being independent and in loving myself without depending on others for it.
Monika: Many transgender women choose to write memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing one yourself, and what would you want to share with your readers?
Ava: I’ve actually started doing this. I’ve had an incredibly colorful life, even for only being 24 (25 in July!), and I would love to share my experiences with the world. There’s a lot I’ve learned about myself along the way, and I think it could help others going through similar journeys. Writing this book has been a way for me to reflect on my growth and how far I’ve come.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who fear transitioning due to discrimination and hatred? How can they find the courage to be themselves?
Ava: Life's tumultuous, it can be cruel, whether you transition or not. To live a life and be seen for who you are truly, rather than hiding and being afraid of what happens to you or what people may think of you, is not a life lived. Fear will always be there, but so will the possibility of joy, love, and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive people, and remember that your happiness is worth the risk.
Monika: What are your next career steps, and where do you envision yourself in the next 5-7 years? Do you have any dreams beyond working on a cruise ship?
Ava: I’m currently, as I mentioned previously, working on a ship as an entertainer. I see myself there presently and want to work up to becoming a Cruise Director within the fleet. If something else comes along? I’m going where the wind (or ocean, in my case) takes me! I love the excitement of new opportunities and meeting people from all over the world. Maybe one day, I’ll even bring my experiences to a different stage, who knows what the future holds!
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame once told me that we should not limit our potential based on how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. She believed that our dreams should not end on an operating table but rather begin there. Do you share this perspective, or do you see it differently?
Ava: I do, and I don’t. Dreams begin all the time in your life. Our dreams begin when we are born either on an operating table or not, and we follow those dreams throughout life as new dreams are formed. In the literal sense, each trans person dreams of getting to a certain stage of transition, and that may be via surgery, but it also may not. Dreams encapsulate our whole life.
Monika: Ava, it was a pleasure talking with you! Where can people follow you on social media to keep up with your journey?
Ava: Likewise. Thank you so much for reaching out to me. People can follow me via my Instagram @avesthom, my YouTube channel via Ava Elizabeth ASMR, or my Reddit handle, avasmr.
All the photos: courtesy of Ava.
