Tuesday G. Meadows is the kind of woman whose presence lingers gently, like the last light of a Kentucky sunset, warm, honest, and quietly powerful. A transgender advocate, writer, and retired grocery store manager from Lexington, Kentucky, Tuesday came into her truth not to become someone new, but to finally be seen for who she always was. Transitioning at 59, she speaks not of transformation, but of alignment, an outward expression of the woman she’s always carried within. Her story is not of celebrity or grand stages, but of everyday bravery: writing heartfelt blog posts, speaking truth in state legislatures, and supporting families through the complex, beautiful journeys of their transgender children. A regular columnist and editor for her local LGBTQ+ magazine, Tuesday brings sharp insight, wit, and tenderness to every word she shares.
Her advocacy work is rooted in love, especially the enduring love she shared with her wife, Linda, her greatest champion and lifelong partner, whose memory lives in every step Tuesday takes. Unapologetically herself, Tuesday moves between boardroom meetings and beach walks with the same resolute grace. Whether wearing conservative dresses or short skirts, light makeup or none at all, she refuses to be confined by others’ expectations. In her world, fashion is a freedom, identity is sacred, and the scars we carry, whether from heart surgery or heartache, are proof that we survived, and kept loving. Above all, Tuesday reminds us that you don’t need to be famous to be extraordinary. Her life is a testament to the strength of ordinary women who rise, speak, and love fiercely, women who build bridges in their communities, refuse to be erased, and create spaces for others to shine. She is one of those women. And in this conversation, she opens her heart, so that others may find hope, clarity, and the courage to be wholly themselves.
Monika: Today, I have the absolute pleasure and heartfelt honor of speaking with Tuesday G. Meadows, an inspiring American trans activist, gifted blogger, and retired grocery store manager from the vibrant city of Lexington, Kentucky. Tuesday is a fierce advocate for equality, a powerful voice in her community, and a woman whose story continues to uplift and empower others. Hello, dear Tuesday! Thank you for joining me today.
Tuesday: Hello Monika! I'm truly delighted to be here. Thank you so much for having me. It's a joy to connect with you.
Monika: Let’s start with a little introduction. Would you mind telling us a few words about who you are and where you’re from?
Tuesday: My name is Tuesday Meadows. I live in Lexington, Kentucky. :)
|
| Jennifer Boylan's book via Amazon. |
Tuesday: The purpose of the series was to tell stories of transgender individuals from varied backgrounds. The first 10 I read were people who had achieved great things such as scientists, doctors, lawyers, actors, and business leaders. I thought, “I wonder where the ordinary people like me are?” So I decided to give them a profile of me because there is no one more ordinary than me.
Monika: You began your transition at the age of 51. Looking back, do you ever wish you had started earlier?
Tuesday: Well, actually I was 59, and I absolutely do not regret anything. I am still very much me, I did not become a new person. I didn’t transition to be a woman. I transitioned to me, outwardly, socially, and medically. I am now outwardly who I’ve always been inward.
Monika: When you began your transition, did you have any transgender role models who inspired or guided you?
Tuesday: Not many in 2013. Such a short time ago, but a lot has happened in those 4 years. There was no one locally. Writers Jenny Boylan and Julia Serano wrote my favorite books and gave me hope. I joined a local support group, but they were very secretive and not very out.
Monika: And how about now? Are there any transgender women you admire or look up to today?
Tuesday: Certainly not Caitlyn Jenner. For all the visibility she brought, she has and continues to say horrible things. The few that I admire the most are Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, and Julie Serano, although I don’t know any of them personally.
Monika: Many trans women face immense personal loss while embracing their authentic selves, whether it’s losing family, friends, careers, or community. Did you experience anything similar? What was the most difficult part of coming out?
Tuesday: Through the whole process, I lost one friend. I retired at 56 to transition, so I didn’t have the work piece of the puzzle. The rest of my friends, people that I worked with, my three sisters, and especially my wife and daughter supported me. Many didn’t understand at first, but they soon learned that I was who I always was and I will always be me. I am well-loved, the way it could be for everyone if there wasn’t prejudice, the way it should be.
Monika: We’re seeing growing visibility of trans women in media, politics, academia, and the arts. As Laverne Cox said, “Trans is beautiful.” Do you think we’re witnessing true social change, or are we still just scratching the surface?
Tuesday: As far as progress, I never equate visibility with progress. For all of us, society pushes us back. Yes, there are more of us who have come out, but for everyday women who transition, there is a lot of transmisogyny and misogyny. Politicians use us as hate-bait to get votes by saying that we are really men in women’s public restrooms. Churches use us as a means to tell people that society has lost its morals and that only the church can provide those morals. Every day, many of us lose our jobs because we come out (I was told that I would have been fired from my job if I had come out on the job, even though I got great evaluations).
|
| Going out. |
Monika: That’s heartbreaking to hear. Beyond workplace discrimination, what other challenges do you see trans people facing in day-to-day life?
Tuesday: Every day, there is violence against transgender women of color. Young people get bullied at school, healthcare is not where it needs to be, and legal obstacles are always thrown at us. Many of us are kicked out of churches that we have attended for many years. (For me, I was kicked out of my church of 40 years.) There will be more and more pushback soon.
Monika: Despite growing awareness, the so-called “restroom debate” continues, and far more troubling, transgender women are still being murdered on the streets.
Tuesday: Yep. And those two things are connected. Don’t think for a minute that there are not people, some very powerful, who don’t want to eradicate us. The Pulse Nightclub shooting happened on Latin Transgender Night. Not a coincidence.
Monika: The transgender community is often grouped under the broader LGBTQ+ umbrella. But being near the end of that acronym, do you think trans people have enough space to advocate for their specific needs within the movement?
Tuesday: I have found my own local organizations, where I serve on four different boards of directors, very open-minded. I have also found a lot of national organizations give us nothing but lip service. I think I make a difference locally. I can be the nicest person to deal with, but they have learned not to cross me. I will not let them run over me.
Monika: Let’s talk about media. From books to TV to news articles, trans stories and characters are becoming more visible. How do you feel about the way we’re represented?
Tuesday: The entertainment industry continues to drag its feet when it comes to using transgender actors to play transgender characters, which is very problematic. They promise to do better, but not much in the way of action yet. Not many transgender writers can make a living solely off writing because they are not in widespread distribution. Trans models seem to be a flavor-of-the-month sort of thing. We need more representation in all entertainment. Money talks and bullshit walks.
|
| Transgender advocacy. |
Monika: Have you ever taken part in political advocacy or lobbying? Do you believe transgender women can play a meaningful role in shaping policy?
Tuesday: I do lobby my own state legislators. I’ve had some pretty nasty stuff said to me, but I am pretty tough. I’ve become friends with the mayor of Lexington (population 330,000), and he is good about listening to me about local concerns.
Monika: Do you think we’ll ever see a transgender woman run for President, or even become First Lady, in our lifetime?
Tuesday: Not in my lifetime. This backlash will last another 20 years, and then I think anything is possible.
Monika: Let’s talk style! How would you describe your relationship with fashion? Do you have favorite outfits, colors, or go-to brands?
Tuesday: My fashion sense is that I will wear anything I damn well choose. I go from conservative dresses when I am addressing the board of directors to short skirts when I go out with my friends. I don’t mind showing cleavage, even though I have scars on my chest from heart surgery.
I mostly wear blue jeans and t-shirts at home and in the daytime. Most days I wear a light foundation or no makeup at all, but I don’t mind wearing makeup when I feel like it. When I travel, I usually wear comfortable clothes and don’t mind sleeveless tops and tanks.
Monika: Some say that cosmetic surgery has given trans women the kind of liberation that the contraceptive pill once gave cis women. Do you feel that medical transition helps free us from the pressures of “passing”?
Tuesday: I 100 percent do not pass. I am not sure about surgery being freeing. I got surgery to align my body with how I want to look, not how others want me to look. People’s discomfort with the way I look, sound, or dress is not my problem, it’s theirs.
Monika: What’s your take on transgender beauty pageants? Some find them empowering, others see them as reinforcing limiting ideals.
Tuesday: I can’t say I like any beauty pageants. To me, it’s like we are telling men that they can judge us by our looks alone. If it makes someone feel good about themselves, then by all means, do a pageant. We are all just trying to make our way in the world, who am I to judge?
|
| Tuesday's article in issuu.com. |
Monika: Many trans women choose to write memoirs as a way to share their journeys and inspire others. Have you ever considered telling your story in book form?
Tuesday: I write a blog, a monthly column in our local LGBTQ magazine (which I also serve as one of the editors), op-eds in the local newspaper, and pieces for other online publications. I write enough without writing books.
Monika: Love can be a profound source of strength, especially during life’s biggest transitions. What role has love played in your own journey?
Tuesday: My wife, Linda, was the love of my life. We were married for 39 years. She was my whole world, and she loved me dearly. She stayed with me through my transition and was my biggest supporter and defender. She died of cancer in September 2015 after fighting a courageous battle. I can’t imagine ever finding anyone else. I consider myself to be bisexual, but I am very picky.
Monika: You sound incredibly engaged with your community. Are there any projects you’re currently passionate about?
Tuesday: My newest project is a workshop to get information for parents of transgender children. We have 55 parents signed up to attend. I am now president of the University of Kentucky LGBTQ Alumni group, and I am working on growing our membership. We formed less than a year ago.
Monika: So many trans girls are fighting silent battles with gender dysphoria. What advice would you offer to someone currently struggling?
Tuesday: Please, please, please find a competent therapist. If you don’t like the one you’ve got, find someone you do like. Read as much as you can, different articles from different authors.
Don’t believe everything you read. If your family and friends don’t support you, find new friends and make them your new family.
Find support within or outside the LGBTQ community. Don’t let people tell you that you are wrong or misguided. Don’t try to numb the dysphoria with drugs and alcohol. Recognize your pain. Become resilient.
|
| Running on the beach in Florida |
Monika: A trans friend of mine, Gina Grahame, once told me that we shouldn't limit our potential based on how we were born or by comparing ourselves to what other transgender people are doing. She said, “Our dreams shouldn’t end on an operating table; that’s where they begin.” How does that resonate with you?
Tuesday: I would never try to speak for others. When I write or give talks, I only say what it is for my life. I don’t like to give advice because we all have different circumstances that we deal with. I tell people that I am, and have always been, a girl. I was given a body not like other girls, but I was no more, no less female than any other female. Changing your outsides does not change who you are on the inside.
Monika: Tuesday, thank you so much for sharing your story and your strength with us today.
All the photos: courtesy of Tuesday Meadows.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment