Alessia: Hello Monika! With this interview, I hope to give courage and esteem to all the transwomen who are facing this difficult transition path like me. I would like to make it clear that we too can become accomplished, beautiful and famous on TV as much as cis women.
Monika: You are a woman of many talents. Could you say a few words about yourself?
Alessia: Like the majority of transgender women, in the past, I had a bad life full of difficulties. I put a lot of effort to be fulfilled as an artist and known throughout Italy on TV as a columnist and soubrette.
For many years I have been working in the best Italian clubs as a sexy star with my burlesque shows. I am also a model of artistic nude, glamour, and cosplay photos. I could achieve it thanks to the first place I won in the national beauty contest of Miss Trans Italia, which gave me a lot of visibility throughout the nation.
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| "For many years I have been working in the best Italian clubs." Photo: @cibmastermixx |
Monika: Alessia is a nice name. Why did you choose it?
Alessia: I chose this name because it is my nephew's name and also because it is a simple name just like me in my private life.
Monika: How did you become a showgirl?
Alessia: I was born in Sicily in southern Italy, and at 17 I moved north to Bergamo to enjoy my life and to follow my transition path. Being 185 cm tall, sexy, and glamorous, I was ready to be famous as an amazing showgirl in nightclubs in Lombardy where the owners of the striptease clubs immediately recognized my charm and my sensuality. I thus become a really established and popular star, well known for my sexy striptease shows that I performed in the best clubs.
I am the only transwoman that is always invited to perform at the most famous Italian erotic fairs. I did a striptease on many national television shows too.
Monika: You are also a pageant beauty queen. As you have mentioned, you won the title of Miss Trans Italia 2013. Did you like the event?
Alessia: Yes, in your lifetime you can only win once this contest. It is always full of the most beautiful Italian transgender women, and I won it in 2013.
Let's say that I participated in the event to have fun and to try a unique experience but I did not expect to win it in the least. On the contrary, I thought I would not even get to the top 3. It was a wonderful surprise for me to hear my name as the winner. It was a moment of crazy emotion.
The pageant has given me a lot of visibility and publicity in my work. It is a competition that I highly recommend to everyone at least once in life to participate in even if maybe you don't reach first place.
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
Alessia: At 17 I told my parents that I wanted to become a woman and my family in southern Italy with a very conservative mentality did not take well my desire to be a woman. As a result, they threw me out of the house, and with just over 1000 euros in my pocket, I went to northern Italy to a friend's house to follow my transition path.
It was very difficult to face everything alone, but I was not discouraged because my desire to become a woman was very strong. I rolled up my sleeves working in a factory in daylight and performing in the evening in clubs as a drag queen to earn enough money. Then I started my laser hair removal and hormone treatment to achieve my goal to become a woman.
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| "Here in Italy being trans is not a scandal." |
Monika: Was your mother surprised by your transition? Did she accept you as her daughter?
Alessia: At first she took it very badly, but now over the years she has accepted my transition because she understood that it was not a passing whim but it was something that makes me feel good about myself physically and above all mentally.
In my family, there were only three sons, and as they say: the daughter was not delivered immediately, as it took some time for the daughter to join the family.
Monika: You are very popular in Italy and you appeared on many TV shows. Which shows did you like most?
Alessia: Yes, I have made many appearances on national TV both as a columnist or as a showgirl or simply I am invited to talk about my transition. In addition, I did many striptease shows on night TV. Here in Italy being trans is not a scandal, on the contrary, many people are very intrigued by our transgender status.
The program I liked the most was the reality show called Wild Girls. In this TV competition, I ended up second. It was a wonderful experience as I got involved with ten other Amazon ladies. I brought out my strength and I fought until the very end to get an amazing result. I jumped into the river without knowing how to swim, I went through tests of strength and endurance, I ate horrible things, I went through tests of courage with disgusting animals, and I cooked by lighting a fire with wood in the forest alone. It was a special experience in nature without makeup, heels, and sequins.
Monika: Do you remember your first striptease show?
Alessia: I did my first striptease show many years ago in an alternative nightclub when no one knew me yet when I was still not a complete transwoman, and I didn't even have breasts. Let's say I did it for fun, as I was incited by the owner of the club to play along. It was a big success. I was so well received by the public that I started to perform a striptease show every week. being a special guest of the evening. So this is how my job as a stripper was born and since then they have started to invite me to nightclubs, restaurants, erotic fairs, and TV channels all over Italy.
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| Alessia in the Wild Girls TV reality show: A test with white mice. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment?
Alessia: I started taking hormones (Diane) immediately at 17 and I still take it now. The hormones have given me a lot of physical satisfaction but obviously like all drugs I recommend not to abuse them. Then obviously I underwent cosmetic surgery because hormones do not work miracles and to fully feminize the body you absolutely need surgical intervention as well.
Monika: Where do Italian girls go for operations? Thailand or Italy? Do Italian hospitals provide good services for transgender women?
Alessia: Most of the Italian girls go to Thailand to undergo the definitive operation, but I preferred to do everything here in Italy in a private clinic. I would not exchange my surgeon with anyone else, even if here in Italy some girls use the public health hospital service to save money but I have seen the results of these public hospitals and honestly they are not the best, so it is better to be operated by private surgeons and spend a little more.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
Alessia: I became famous in Italy and I have a normal job that allows me to live thanks to my being trans. I don't hide who I am, I always tell everyone immediately without shame.
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| "Those who do not accept me do not necessarily have to accept me." |
I honestly don't give a damn about people's opinions and of those who judge me. I am proud to be a transwoman and I continue my path with my head held high. Those who do not accept me do not necessarily have to accept me; the important thing is that they stay as far away from my life as possible.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow or followed?
Alessia: Honestly, I have never had a famous trans model to follow, because I think that each of us faces our own path with our own character and habits without feeling the need to copy someone else. It is much better to follow our own life instinct for our own use and benefit.
Monika: Do you remember the first time when you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person?
Alessia: I remember as a child when I first saw a transgender woman on TV and I was amazed because I saw her happy and confident. I didn't think I could ever be on TV because I thought it would be too scandalous, but inside I thought with all my heart: who knows if one day I might be in her place.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Alessia: Here in Italy transgender women are very popular, you can see them in the disco, on TV, at the supermarket, everywhere at every moment of the day, and it is a normal thing. Now in Italy a transwoman can finally change the name on her identity document from male to female without problems while still having male genitals, which is great progress.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Alessia: When I work I like to be very showy and provocative because it is my job that obliges me to do so. It is slightly similar when I go out during the day, I dress quite flashy but never vulgar or out of place, always with a pinch of strong femininity. I dress in a very colorful way, paying attention to matching accessories. I often wear a knee-length skirt, very little makeup, low heels, and a top with a deep neckline that highlights the breasts. For me, the breasts are the special part of the body that radiate a lot of femininity. In other words, I dress in my own style to be noticed and stand out from the crowd.
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| "I am very pleased to receive compliments from women because they are sincere and with no overtones." |
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Alessia: I don't like to change makeup too often. I always use only two types of makeup: a light one for the day and a heavy and flashy one for working in the clubs. When I have a particular photo shoot to do, I copy the make-up from YouTube tutorials.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Alessia: I am very pleased to receive compliments from women because they are sincere and with no overtones. However, compliments from men annoy me a lot because they do them only and exclusively to seduce me to going to bed with them.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Alessia: I am not a member of any LGBTQ associations but I never miss a chance to take part in a gay pride in northern Italy. First I like to attend it to make our community more vocal and visible to the whole world but above all, because I make so many beautiful acquaintances.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Alessia: I don't believe in love in general. Men deceive us and use us only to satisfy their sexual desires and then throw us away as objects, that's why I'm happily single by my own choice and I don't feel the need for a boyfriend. I'm fine being alone.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Alessia: Yes, it's my dream. I'm just looking for someone to help me publish it.
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| "I live for the moment with what life offers me every day." |
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Alessia: I never plan my life. I live without too many projects. I live for the moment with what life offers me every day. Life is unpredictable, you never know where it will take you.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Alessia: Don't be afraid to dare and change. I would advise you to follow your heart and your instincts because if you really want it you have a right to take such a difficult step. In the beginning, it is difficult but you will be happy and fulfilled, and you will regret not having done it before.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that's where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Alessia: Your friend is absolutely right. If you really want it and you feel the need to end up under the hands of a surgeon to change for the better and be more confident with yourself achieving your dream, I advise everyone not to hesitate to transform your body with surgery as long as it is done in moderation and good taste.
Monika: Alessia, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Alessia: Thanks to you Monika, it was a pleasure. I hope that my interview will help many transgirls who are at the beginning of their transition to gather courage and self-esteem to achieve the so much desired dream.
All the photos: courtesy of Alessia Bergamo.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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