She speaks with honesty about turning to escort work to fund her transition, about the loneliness that became her constant companion, and about the irony of building a new life while leaving an entire past behind. And yet, in her story, there is no bitterness, only a quiet resilience and the determination to live as herself. What makes Katerina remarkable is not only her beauty or her intelligence, but the light she carries despite the shadows. She believes that true femininity does not come from surgery or cosmetics but from the spirit that resides within, and she embodies that belief with grace. Even in moments of despair, she holds on to hope, hope for love, for belonging, and for a society that may one day open its heart to women like her. Katerina’s story is one of loss and struggle, but it is also one of dignity, courage, and the unshakable will to be authentic in a world that often demands silence.
Monika: Today I have the pleasure and honor of interviewing Katerina, a Ukrainian social media influencer, linguist, and transgender woman living in Kyiv, who shares her transition story online. Hello Katerina!
Katerina: Hello Monika! Thank you for the offer to participate in your project. You're doing a great job!
Monika: To begin, could you tell us a little about yourself and your journey so far?
Katerina: I started my transition about 10 years ago. Then, after graduating from the university, I started working as an escort. What an irony to go into such a profession with a master's degree! However, for transgender people, this is often the only chance to make money for the transition, at least in Russia. I underwent hormone therapy, had several plastic surgeries, officially changed my documents to female, and moved from Moscow to Kyiv, where no one knew me.
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| "I am not ashamed that I am a transsexual, but I value my life and health, so I can only talk about my transsexuality on the Internet" |
Monika: What encouraged you to start sharing such personal aspects of your life on social media?
Katerina: On the Internet, you can show who you really are. But in ordinary life, especially in countries such as Ukraine or Russia, one can't speak about it openly because it is dangerous. I am not ashamed that I am a transsexual, but I value my life and health, so I can only talk about my transsexuality on the Internet, and outside of it, I need to hide it with all my might.
Monika: How did you come to choose the name Katerina for yourself?
Katerina: When I started working in the escort industry and first posted an ad on the main sex services site in Moscow, all the other names were already taken. So I didn’t really choose. Just like genetic women do not usually choose their own name, it is given to them at birth. It was given to me when I started earning money for the transition to become a woman. I find it symbolic, and I really like this name.
Monika: When people reach out to you online, what kinds of questions do they usually ask?
Katerina: They mostly ask for sex :) Most of my followers are men, and they know that I used to work in the sex industry. Although I left escorting a long time ago, my photos and videos are still on the Internet, and this is how most people know me.
Monika: Transitioning often asks us to give up parts of our previous lives, family, friends, jobs, and social standing. Did you have to pay a similar price, and what was the hardest part of coming out for you?
Katerina: Yes, I did, and loneliness was the hardest thing. It still is. I left my whole previous life and I do not really miss it, but I still regret having to cut off everything. It would have been better if I could have integrated into society without losing my family, friends, acquaintances, and all the other people from my past, as well as career and professional development opportunities.
Monika: How did your education and past affect your ability to rebuild a professional life after transition?
Katerina: My diploma was useless then; it could not help me fund the transition, which required too much money. I can no longer return to the profession and start all over again, now that I have a past that will not allow this.
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| "My diploma was useless then and it could not help me make the transition, which required too much money." |
Monika: How have loneliness and hope shaped your life since then?
Katerina: Loneliness has always been my companion. At the beginning of the transition I suffered from it very much. Later new acquaintances appeared, although I still have not been able to create a family. This is the problem for most transgender people. But I do not lose hope. It is impossible to live without hope, even if, deep down, I understand that my past leaves almost no chance of marital happiness.
Monika: How do you feel about the results of your hormone treatment? Are you satisfied?
Katerina: No. Due to health problems, it had to be very light and short, and I had to undergo surgery to get breasts. Fortunately, I have naturally low testosterone, so very few cosmetic procedures were required. But if I decide to do a full SRS, I will have to go through a more thorough course of hormone therapy, of course.
Monika: Many people say transgender women are judged by how well they pass, and that this judgment can feel like a prison. Even though surgeries may help, society often continues to measure us by appearance. In your view, how can one deal with this reality?
Katerina: This is a real problem, especially in countries with low tolerance, where a bad passing causes not only personal psychological problems but also social ones. I managed to somehow overcome uncertainty, frustration, and despair, but unfortunately, I cannot give any advice on this matter, because this is all too individual. I can only say that you should not rely heavily on cosmetic or plastic surgery, the main femininity and beauty are inside us, no matter how trite it may sound. Let your inner woman come out, she knows better what to do than your practical male brain.
Monika: Have you ever looked to transgender role models for inspiration, or do you prefer to follow your own path?
Katerina: I think no. I’m just trying to be myself.
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| "Loneliness was the hardest thing. It still is. I left my whole previous life and I don't really miss it, but I still regret having to cut off everything." |
Monika: While researching well-known transgender women in Russia and Ukraine, I came across several names, such as Masha Bast, Alina Petrova, Veronika Svetlova, Varvara Strange, Juliet Mon, Erika Kisheva, and Zhanna Wilde. This makes it seem like the transgender community in these countries is visible. How would you describe their public presence?
Katerina: Some of them are escorts, some are activists. There is very little publicity in any of the cases, they are known only in a very narrow circle. And of course, they have no influence on public opinion.
Monika: In many countries, transgender women gain celebrity status, especially by participating in reality shows or fashion events. Does this happen in Russia and Ukraine?
Katerina: No. There are several drag queens, but they are not celebrities. They perform mainly in gay clubs, and if they are invited to television, it is only as clowns to entertain the audience, not to raise important social issues. That is how I see it anyway.
Monika: You are intelligent and striking in appearance. Have you ever thought about pursuing a career as an actress or a model?
Katerina: Thanks a lot, Monika. But for me, no such activity is possible because of my past as an escort. In addition, if I do become a public person, it will only be as an activist for LGBT rights.
Monika: Can you recall the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met someone transgender in person?
Katerina: Oh yeah! It was in England, in a small coastal town called Worthing, where I studied during the summer school holidays when I was sixteen. I'm not sure if it was a transsexual; rather, it seemed like a transvestite because it was obvious that this was a man in disguise and dressed in a deliberately provocative way.
Monika: What do you remember most about that first encounter?
Katerina: It was the first transgender person in my life, and the experience was incredible. He or she was standing outside a bar, probably an LGBT bar, smoking, with bright makeup, wearing a shiny silver dress, high heels, and a black wig. I looked at him or her like an alien because in Russia or Ukraine this would have been impossible in broad daylight. Here, such a person would be torn to pieces by an angry crowd.
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| "If I do become a public person, it will only be as an activist for LGBT rights." |
Monika: How did you feel as you watched this person interact with others?
Katerina: I think he or she smiled at me and said something as I walked by. This transgender person was approached by another who came out of the bar. I really wanted to stop and look at such an unprecedented sight, but my friends carried me further. They laughed, and I hated them, but I also had to laugh at the men in disguise like everyone else, although I admired them so that other teenagers would not think that I liked them, otherwise the bullying could start.
Monika: How did that experience affect you afterward?
Katerina: Something has changed in me since that day. Those transgenders never left my head. They showed me that one can be himself or herself without fear of prejudice, which I had never dreamed of before, and this gave me courage and strength.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in Russia and Ukraine?
Katerina: It is better than it was 10 to 15 years ago, but still lamentable. The consciousness of society is changing very slowly, and ancient prejudices are rooted in it from generation to generation. Only 30 years ago, such people were sent to prisons or psychiatric hospitals, and many people who are now 40 to 50 years old still remember this. They grew up with the belief that having a different sexuality is a crime, which is reprehensible and shameful, and they passed it on to their children.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Katerina.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
I greatly admire Katerina for her courage and fortitude in doing what she is compelled to do in a country like Russia. I know they are very intolerant of homosexuality and Transgenderism. You must have been put through hell. I commiserate with you. I am straight but have many lesbian and gay friends. We interact as people not straight or gay, and with mutual respect. However I like to let people be themselves on what ever path they choose. I live in Pennsylvania USA but if I was in Russia I would date you and treat you as a person with the respect you deserve. By the way I am 72 ,way too old for you but I would certainly enjoy your company! You're Gorgeous!
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