For Ovileya Myrah, becoming herself meant leaving almost everything she had known behind. Born in Bangladesh, she grew up in a society where being transgender was something she could not openly acknowledge or safely explore. Unable to live the life she knew she deserved, she eventually left her homeland in 2016 and settled in Greece the following year. There, she gradually began building a new life on her own terms. She started hormone therapy, underwent breast augmentation, legally changed her name and gender, and began documenting her journey on social media. Today, Ovileya describes herself as a proud trans woman who refuses to let other people’s prejudices define her. Her social media presence has also given her a platform to speak openly about her experiences, although, as she tells me, visibility inevitably comes with some deeply inappropriate questions.
Her journey has not been without pain. She had to leave her country and give up the security of her family home, and she has experienced the heartbreak of losing love because of her gender. At the same time, she has found support from her mother, siblings, friends, and the community she has built around herself in Greece. She also draws inspiration from transgender women such as Bangladeshi television news anchor Tashnuva Anan Shishir and actress MJ Rodriguez. Ovileya is still looking ahead. She dreams of undergoing gender-affirming surgery, becoming a successful trans businesswoman, and one day finding love, marriage, and motherhood. Above all, she wants to live freely and honestly, without apologising for who she is. I first met Ovileya through social media, where her openness and determination immediately caught my attention. In our conversation, she spoke to me about leaving Bangladesh, finding herself in Greece, her family, transition, beauty and fashion, the realities of being visible online, her hopes for the future, and why she continues to believe that everybody deserves to be loved.
Monika: Ovileya, welcome! It’s wonderful to have you with us today.
Ovileya: Hello dear Monika, I am so happy to be interviewed by you and glad to share my experience with you and our readers.
Monika: To start, tell us a little about yourself.
Ovileya: I am Ovileya Myrah, 26 years old, and I am from Bangladesh. I left Bangladesh in 2016 and decided to settle down in Greece in 2017. I am a transgender woman, so I had to leave Bangladesh because of my gender identity.
I was living in a society where it was very difficult to survive, and my family couldn’t help with it either. I suppose they didn’t have the education and, of course, the courage to support me. So I had a very difficult childhood, and eventually I was forced to leave my country.
I started my hormonal medication here in Greece almost 3 years ago. I am very much planning to have my SRS as soon as I save up enough money for the surgery.
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| “I often hated myself because I did not have freedom for myself.” |
Monika: Many people keep their private moments to themselves. What inspired you to share yours on social media?
Ovileya: Intimacy has so many definitions, I would say my personal life! Well, living life as myself took a lot of courage. When I decided that I wouldn’t hide behind the wall anymore, it was the moment that I found my true self, and I gave up my previous life.
I often hated myself because I did not have freedom for myself, so once I regained my freedom to live the life I deserved, I promised myself that I would be honest with myself and live for myself. And that’s how I feel: I am stronger, and my friends and family are very supportive.
Monika: Your name is beautiful. How did you choose Ovileya?
Ovileya: My parents named me Ovil Hasnat, and my ex-boyfriend used to call me Ovileya. He found a name that I liked a lot, and I picked it when I changed my name and gender in accordance with Greek law. I asked my mom, “If you had a second daughter, what name would you prefer for her?” She said Myrah, and that’s how I chose Ovileya Myrah. However, I did not keep my family surname.
Monika: With such an active online presence, you must receive plenty of messages. What do your followers usually ask?
Ovileya: I am a very popular person on social media. However, I don’t interact with racist or homophobic people on my social media.
Unfortunately, I receive so many stupid questions like “whether I still have a penis” and “what I do when I am having sexual intercourse,” and many other disgusting questions. Mostly I do not reply, or I say, “Go and educate yourself.”
Monika: Living authentically often costs us families, friends, jobs, and social standing. Did you pay a similar price, and what was the hardest part of coming out?
Ovileya: Actually, for me, from the very beginning it was very different back in Bangladesh, as I couldn’t open up and live a true life. I left Bangladesh, so I would say I gave up my family home and country. However, now things have started to get better with my friends and family. And all the friends I have now love me the way I am.
Monika: Did your transition come as a surprise to your family?
Ovileya: The first person I came out to was my mom when I decided to start my hormonal treatment. I confided in her and she told me that if I am happy with my life, she is happy too, because all she wanted for me was my happiness, and she has always been supportive. Although she wasn’t fully aware of my transgender status, I believe she was more scared of society, as she always wanted to protect me back in Bangladesh.
Except for my mother, I wasn’t very open about myself, so there weren’t any surprising moments during my time in Bangladesh. My siblings understood who I am, and they are very happy for me.
Monika: Has the hormone treatment brought the effects you hoped for?
Ovileya: Yes, so far I’m doing well on hormonal medication. I had my breast augmentation surgery in 2019. The only issue I have been going through is my psychological ups and downs.
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| “I am proud of being a trans woman.” |
Monika: Many of us feel trapped by the question of passing, and even with cosmetic surgery, we will always be judged to some extent. How can we cope with that?
Ovileya: It’s very individual. People have different ways of thinking and dealing with things. Personally, I do believe that deep down I am a woman and the rest takes care of itself. I am proud of being a trans woman, but at the same time, I always try to establish myself as a woman, and I tell myself I’m not inferior to anybody because I am trans. Of course, it was very challenging to establish myself in society, and it still is, but I keep going forward.
Monika: Can you recall the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met someone transgender in person?
Ovileya: Back in Bangladesh I never had a chance to meet anyone from the LGBT+ community, and here in Greece I meet many people from the LGBT+ community, including transgender women and men. I do admire MJ Rodriguez, a transgender actress known for her role in the Netflix series “Pose.” I loved the series a lot.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models, past or present?
Ovileya: I am very inspired by one transgender woman. She is the first transgender TV news anchor in Bangladesh. Her name is Tashnuva Anan Shishir. I am very proud of her and of MJ Rodriguez.
Monika: Turning to Bangladesh, how would you describe the present situation of transgender women there?
Ovileya: As far as I can see and based on my experience, Bangladesh is very difficult for transgender people, who face a lot of issues from society and their families. They don’t have health support, and the government discriminates against the LGBTQI+ community. In addition, unfortunately, there are some people within the transgender community who use trans teenagers for money instead of helping them build a better life, as some of them are forced to beg on the streets, which is horrible.
Monika: Fashion seems to be part of your self-expression. What do you usually wear, and are there any designers, colors, or trends you favor?
Ovileya: Actually, I love fashion. I love dresses a lot in summer, but mostly I wear casual outfits. Until now I haven’t worn any designer outfits. I love saree, which is Bangladeshi clothing. I like mainly soft colors, such as purple, lemon, white, and pink.
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| “I love saree.” |
Monika: Makeup is another form of expression. Do you experiment with it often?
Ovileya: I do love makeup. I experiment with my makeup very often.
Monika: On a lighter note, how do you feel about compliments on your looks?
Ovileya: I like to receive compliments. They always bring confidence, but not compliments like “OMG, you are trans, I can’t believe that!” When I hear them, I feel offended because I like to be treated by other people as a person, not as trans.
Monika: What do you remember about your first job interview as a woman?
Ovileya: Actually, I did a couple of interviews as a trans refugee at the very beginning of my journey.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are looking for work?
Ovileya: Please do not give up, believe in yourself, and stay focused on your dreams.
Monika: Turning to the local LGBTQ+ community, how involved are you in its life?
Ovileya: To be honest, I am not very involved with the LGBTQ+ community, but I am always supportive on social media.
Monika: What role does love play in your life?
Ovileya: I believe in love, and every time I fail in love my heart is completely broken, so I am in a situation where I am scared to love. It was very painful when I had to give up my love just because of my gender. I always had to compromise my love, but still, I keep believing that love exists and everybody deserves to be loved, and I am waiting for that day.
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| “I keep believing that love exists.” |
Monika: Memoirs are a popular way for transgender women to share their stories. Have you ever considered writing one?
Ovileya: I have thought so many times that I would love to write a journal about myself, but at the moment I can’t manage to focus on it.
Monika: Looking ahead, what is your next step, and where do you see yourself in the next 5 to 7 years?
Ovileya: I always felt that I was born in the wrong body, and I’m correcting my body with this thought. I really want to have my SRS done and become a role model as a trans businesswoman. I want to be a mother and a wife too, haha, which is very difficult.
Monika: Some transgender women feel afraid of transitioning. What would you recommend to them?
Ovileya: It’s a really tough question! Everybody has different prospects for themselves, but I believe that if a person really feels they’re trapped in the wrong body, they should find the courage or power to fix it, which will always bring joy and freedom.
So do not give up your happiness because there are so many people ready to support you.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame once wrote to me that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing, and that our dreams do not end on an operating table but begin there. Do you agree?
Ovileya: Yes, 100%.
Monika: Ovileya, thank you so much for this lovely conversation!
Ovileya: Dear Monika, it was my pleasure to answer your questions. I hope my answers were helpful. Please take care of yourself and be healthy and happy. Much love!
All the photos: courtesy of Ovileya Myrah.
© 2022 - Monika Kowalska
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