Monika: I remember trying to copy my mom and sister’s style when I was younger, and my friends used to joke that I was trying to be this perfect woman who didn’t even exist. Did you go through something similar?
Alisa: I never felt the need to fit into a stereotypical image of femininity. Nowadays, I dress casually, more like a "tomboy," and I don’t believe that appearance defines who I am. Being a woman is so much more than makeup, dresses, or hairstyles.
Of course, at the beginning of my transition, I felt some pressure to look a certain way, to make sure no one had any doubts. But over time, I realized I didn’t have to prove anything. What matters most is how I feel, not whether I meet society’s expectations of femininity.
Now, I choose what makes me comfortable and what suits me. I don’t need to validate my identity through my appearance, I’m just myself, and that’s enough.
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition that you didn’t expect, either positively or negatively?
Alisa: What surprised me the most was how few people actually turned away from me. I thought that after coming out, I would lose most of my friends and end up alone. But when I changed my name on social media, only a few people disappeared, the rest stayed. What’s more, I’m still in touch with many people I’ve known practically since childhood. That was a huge and positive surprise because it showed me that I had more support around me than I had imagined.
On the other hand, it’s saddening that some long-time friends still call me by my old name. Sometimes it’s just a slip, but other times I feel like it’s more about their unwillingness to accept change. That’s tough because it shows that even after all these years, not everyone can truly see me as the person I am now.
A negative surprise was also how frustrating the medical transition process turned out to be. At first, I was hopeful, but I quickly realized that the first hormone regimens my endocrinologist prescribed didn’t work for me at all. I experienced health issues, weight gain, and overall discomfort, I had to take a step back and start over. That made the whole process drag on much longer than expected, and at times, it was incredibly frustrating.
Monika: A lot of trans women are writing their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing your own book?
Alisa: Yes, I’ve thought about it, and I know that someday I will definitely write a book. But right now is not the time. There are still things I can’t talk about, even being abroad, not everything is safe to share.
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| "Don’t rush and be kind to yourself." |
That’s why I believe I will write a book one day, but I will do it when the time is right, when I can speak openly and without fear.
Monika: You've been living in Poland for many years. How would you assess the situation of transgender women in Poland?
Alisa: In 2014, I moved to Belarus, but later I returned to start my PhD studies, which I continued until 2017. After completing them, I went back to Belarus, but the political and social situation once again forced me to leave. Since 2021, I have been living in Poland again. This has given me the opportunity to observe how the situation for transgender people in this country has evolved over the years.
There’s no denying that things are still difficult. Trans people in Poland face discrimination, lack of access to appropriate healthcare, and complicated legal procedures.
After the change in government in 2023, there were the first signs of progress. Discussions began about legally regulating transition procedures and improving the situation for LGBT+ people. However, it’s still just the beginning, the changes are slow, and there is a lack of concrete reforms that would genuinely improve the lives of trans people.
In comparison to Belarus, Poland is in a much better position, at least there is no state-led repression. But that doesn’t mean life is easy. There is still a long road ahead before trans people can live here without fear and restrictions.
Monika: Before we wrap up, what’s one piece of advice you’d give to any trans women out there who are still navigating their journey, whether it’s about confidence, love, or just living their truth?
Alisa: My advice? Don’t rush and be kind to yourself. Each of us goes through our journey at our own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.
Don’t let others define who you are. This is your life and your identity; you don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations.
And most importantly, you are not alone. Find people who support you, your community. That kind of support gives incredible strength.
Monika: Thank you so much, Alisa, for sharing your incredible journey and insights with me. Your work and dedication to transgender rights are truly inspiring. I’m grateful for the time you've taken to speak with me, and I hope your story continues to inspire others. Wishing you all the best in your ongoing activism and personal journey.
Alisa: Thank you, Monika, for this conversation and for your interest in my story. I'm glad I had the chance to share my experiences and thoughts. I hope that what we’ve talked about will be a source of support for other transgender people.
I wish you all the best, and thank you for your work in raising visibility and advocating for our community’s rights.
All the photos: courtesy of Alisa Sarmant.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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