Monika: What makes it challenging for transgender women to engage in politics in Hong Kong?
Beatrice: Politics in Hong Kong is deeply intertwined with the business world and various industries. A transgender person, who often grows up isolated due to social stigma, finds it difficult to break through because of a lack of connections and, as a result, limited ability to influence industries or the business world.
Monika: How important is fashion to you, and how do you approach choosing your daily outfits?
Monika: How important is fashion to you, and how do you approach choosing your daily outfits?
Beatrice: As a transgender woman, I have to be very aware of my fashion choices. My goal is to blend in on the street while still finding a form of individuality without standing out too much. My wardrobe is always in flux because I love buying clothes, and the prices are so low now (though very environmentally unfriendly). I enjoy experimenting, but sometimes it’s hit or miss, so I rely heavily on my friends’ feedback.
Monika: Are there particular styles or cuts that you prefer, or avoid, based on your body shape?
Beatrice: I am a big fan of one-piece dresses that hug my waistline, so I generally avoid shift dresses. This is mostly because I still retain my masculine bone structure, which means my upper body is quite broad, and shift dresses can make me look like a sail. I know peplum styles aren’t everyone’s favorite, but I find them very elegant. I also like asymmetrical designs, especially if the outfit is a plain color.
Monika: Do you have favorite colors or patterns, and how closely do you follow fashion trends?
Beatrice: I would never wear boxy designs or velvet, even though everyone seems to wear velvet now (spring 2017). Color-wise, I love burgundy, try to limit myself to three colors or less, and choose patterns very carefully. Neon colors attract too much attention, and I am not drawn to them. I normally do not follow trends closely; as long as the clothes I wear make me feel feminine, I’m all smiles!
Monika: How do you view transgender beauty pageants, and what do you think about the effort participants put into them?
Beatrice: I admire their dedication; it’s a very high-maintenance affair. I get exhausted by just basic skincare and makeup, and I have poor hairstyling skills, so to do all of that day in and day out is an accomplishment I can only dream of.
|
| Experimenting with looks, one year before SRS. |
Monika: How important is love in your life, and how does it shape your experiences as a transgender woman?
Beatrice: I guess love and support are important in anyone’s life, not just mine. I feel a lot of love from my mother, though she is very subtle; I can feel it whenever she comes to visit me in the hospital or asks about my wounds and emotions every now and then. Love for myself is important because being transgender is not just about looks and dresses, there is also career and financial planning, personal healthcare awareness, it takes a lot of focus and energy, and if I don’t have any love for myself, it’s hard to push myself to put effort into these areas.
Monika: What role does love from a partner play in your life, and what qualities do you value in a partner?
Beatrice: Love from a partner, same-sex, opposite-sex, or undefined, is also important, but for me it’s quite optional unless the partner fully understands my situation and is 100% comfortable with it. Therefore, I only love people who are simple and direct and don’t hold back their thoughts. It could be annoying, but at least there isn’t a deep, dark corner in my partner’s mind that I have to worry about since everything is clear and out in the open. Only then will I consider such love important; otherwise, it’s going to be a burden. It’s like unconditional love, but unconditional love can be forced.
Monika: Have you ever prepared yourself to be alone, and how has that influenced your current relationship?
Beatrice: I’ve actually prepared to be alone for quite some time, because people I know often hold back feelings and thoughts, thinking they are making a sacrifice for the greater good or for the growth of the relationship, only to explode later when they no longer have the energy to repress things. I’d rather live happily alone than be with a ticking time bomb. Fortunately, I was able to find someone who meets my “specifications,” so I am comfortably in love now, but I am still very used to depending on myself. I feel strong, though this sometimes makes my partner feel isolated, so this is an area I need to readjust.
Monika: Many transgender women share their stories through memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing your own, and what motivates you to do so?
Beatrice: Yes, I have. I started writing something a few years back, and I’m writing bits and pieces here and there, but it’s difficult to focus and organize things when you work in a high-stress job five days a week, and it’s the only job you can find that accepts you without caring about your gender differences.
Monika: Has language ever posed a challenge for your writing?
Beatrice: Yes, there’s definitely a language challenge. I started out writing in Chinese, but it doesn’t reach a lot of people, so I switched to English, which now brings the issue of translation. I know some sisters would like to forget their “male” days, but for me, those times are equally precious and funny, so recording them on paper is something I would very much like to do.
|
| Posing for Laura Simonsen's gender identity photo project. |
Monika: Are you currently working on any new creative projects, and could you share what they involve?
Beatrice: I am planning a long-form fiction video based on a transgender character, and how she helps a depressed lesbian who feels life is meaningless get back on track. It’s going to be heavily influenced by David Lynch. There are many ways to tackle transgender stories, and there are already a ton of transgender-themed films out there, so I thought I would try to create something special and enlightening (I hope).
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria? My pen friend Gina Grahame once wrote that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transsexuals and transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree?
Beatrice: The operating table isn’t the only place where dreams can begin. Some sisters I know will not go under the knife out of respect for their parents’ wishes, health issues, or other reasons, so making the operating table the starting point would be very difficult for them.
Monika: So, do you think dreams can start before any surgical or medical transition?
Beatrice: Absolutely. Dreams can start from anywhere and at any time, as long as you balance them with survival. If you start chasing dreams too prematurely, like having no financial means to support yourself, being renounced by your parents, and losing your job at the same time, then your dreams can die quickly. Dreams can also start small, like wearing less masculine clothing at first and then gradually moving on to more feminine pieces.
Monika: How do your personal dreams fit into this idea?
Beatrice: I have many dreams. One is to become a filmmaker of sorts, another is to live in a comfortable state of mind, and another is to have a good-looking body. The operating table helps me reach part of my goals, but I still have to work hard for the others. I think dreams don’t have to be limited to body and gender; they can be about anything. There are so many possibilities in this world. If you think that once you leave the operating table your goal is achieved and then just sit on the sofa watching TV all day, that would still be a waste of a precious life.
Monika: Beatrice, thank you for the interview!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Beatrice Wong Suet-ling.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment