The Heroines of My Life: Interview with Danielle Pellett

Monika: Despite increased visibility, we’re still witnessing heartbreaking violence, especially against transgender women. The so-called “restroom war” rages on, and trans women continue to be killed on the streets. What are your thoughts on this ongoing crisis?

Danielle: And unfortunately the minority that faces the brunt of the violence is trans women of color. Here in Dallas, there’s an annual convention for Black Trans Advocacy, and I finally got my Black Trans Lives Matter shirt that lists the names of trans people of color who have died. If I, as a biracial trans woman who can pass for white, can bring attention to this matter, I will. I recognize my white privilege, that if I were to be arrested, I wouldn’t be mistreated by the police nor automatically charged as a sex worker. Not everyone is as lucky as I am, though.

Monika: Do you think we’ll see a major political breakthrough soon? Could a transgender woman become President of the United States in our lifetime, or at least the First Lady?

Danielle: With people like Misty Snow, Brianna Westbrook, and Brianna Wu running for the U.S. House this year? I can definitely see us getting as high as a cabinet appointment or the Senate.

Monika: Let’s switch gears for a moment, do you enjoy fashion? What’s your typical style, and do you follow any specific brands or trends?

Danielle: I was not expecting a fashion question here; but as my day job is being a chemist, I don’t get to wear the fashion that I’d normally like. Most of the time I’m in nice jeans and a T-shirt with a pop-cultural reference on it (either science-based or from a TV show I watch), and I dress it up with a blazer. If I could wear whatever I wanted on a daily basis, I’d wear a range of business suits or bodycon dresses with a bolero, in colors that reflect my personality: classic with a splash of bold and daring.

Monika: Many transgender women find empowerment in sharing their life stories through memoirs. Have you ever considered writing one yourself?

Danielle: I love writing, but I’ve never been published. I don’t know where I’d begin if I were.

At a New Leader's Council meeting, planning
the best way to Build the Bench of tomorrow's
progressive leaders.

Monika: Love often plays a transformative role in our lives. How has love shaped your personal journey?

Danielle: I’ve been with my wife JJ for over 11 years now, and got married before marriage equality due to Texas’ bigoted laws stating that I’d always be seen as male for marriage purposes. In this case, it was a loophole in my favor. Even so, we were turned down multiple times by various justices of the peace and judges because nobody wanted to deal with a ‘gay marriage,’ even though we are opposite sexes in the eyes of the law.

Monika: Gender dysphoria can be a deeply isolating experience, especially in the early stages of transition. What advice would you offer to transgender girls who are struggling with it?

Danielle: Find a therapist and support group. You don’t have to do this alone, even if it’s just a few online friends.

Monika: A friend of mine, Gina Grahame, once wrote to me that we shouldn’t limit our dreams based on how we were born, or what others expect of us. She said our dreams shouldn’t end on the operating table; that’s where they begin. How do you feel about that perspective?

Danielle: I agree in part; my philosophy is that life is like a forest, and many people are on various paths where you might meet, merge, and part from. The goal isn’t to get to the end of the path, nor to escape the forest, but to enjoy the journey. Being transgender isn’t defined by an operation. Your gender identity shouldn’t depend on a doctor and a scalpel. It should be on how you live, who you meet as you make your journey in the forest of life, and making certain the path you take helps others in their own journey through the forest.

Monika: Danielle, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. Wishing you all the best with your nomination and everything ahead!