Monika: What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Dimitria: I love Le Chateau, Aritzia, and Dynamite if we’re talking brands. I like vintage-influenced dresses that fit tight at the waist. I used to wear nothing but black but I've opened myself up to more lively patterns and colors. I found wearing too much black could be a mistake as it can suck the life out of you.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Dimitria: Very much, still. To this day I know my weak spots and past mistakes I’ve made. So I always want to do better. Eventually, you end up using products you swear by, but with other makeup like contouring and lips, I’m yet to find the right tools and shades that are perfect for me. It’s a learning curve. Some take longer than others. Some random day you did something to your eye makeup that just clicks, and you try to figure out how to replicate it.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Dimitria: Usually yes! It’s generally flattering. However, sometimes people ask questions about my transition and the first question is usually, “Why did you transition?” And that question is fine, but they follow it with, “‘Cause you were a good looking guy.” Oh, dear…. So being complimented on that rubs me the wrong way for obvious reasons, and furthermore, it shows such a lack of understanding in one, what gender dysphoria or gender in-congruency is, and two, shows we still don’t teach people how to talk to a trans person properly. Apparently, they cracked the code: I transitioned ‘cause I thought I was ugly as a man. Wow. That took brain work LOL.
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| "To this day it’s a daily battle to acknowledge I love myself, and it takes such a massive amount of effort." |
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Dimitria: I wouldn’t say so, no. I do post to my local city’s Facebook page to show them my videos. I have queer friends, but I wouldn’t say I’m strongly involved in the community.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Dimitria: Well everyone needs love, everyone needs some sort of attachment. My girlfriend and I have been dating for over two years. Whenever she’s gone or out of the house for more than a day, I actually kind of go crazy. I get in my thoughts, think about things not worth reading into, or get trepidation of something that will never happen. I always tell her she’s like an angel watching over me, and I don’t know where I’d be without her.
This question also makes me think of self-love, too. To this day it’s a daily battle to acknowledge I love myself, and it takes such a massive amount of effort. All I can do is move forward, not think too much, and continue with good daily habits.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Dimitria: Hell, no! I’d be a pretty conceited 22-year-old to think my life is important enough to write and sell to people. Furthermore, my life just isn’t that interesting; the memoir would be a tangent of angst and whining, LOL.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Dimitria: Maybe this is a boring answer, but I have no idea. When I was 16 I thought I saw the next 20 years of my life, when I was 19 upon transition I thought I knew how my life would go. But the world and I have thrown me for a loop so much that I can’t tell you honestly where I’ll be in 5-7 years. I can only hope to be healthy, true to myself, and successful. These are tangible things.
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| "2021 is the best time to transition, and it’s only going to get better." |
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Dimitria: I’d look deep into yourself and ask if this is the life you want. 2021 is the best time to transition, and it’s only going to get better. If you don’t transition now, are you going to regret it years down the road? It’s that first time in public when you’re presenting femme that is so difficult, it’s like the whole world’s against you. But once you get over that hurdle, you’ll have found the life you were always supposed to have.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Dimitria: Yes! The world is full of numerous possibilities if you get past the notion that everything functions on some natural world order. But if do you believe that, then I’d think it would be safe to concede that there are exceptions to the natural world order.
Furthermore, you may be very different from other trans people and you can’t conform to their possibly rigid views of identity or dysphoria. They may have an idea of what’s possible, what is, or what should be, but you have just proven them wrong by simply existing. No one can declare what you are or are not. Only you can. And we’re learning that in gender expression far more. We’re seeing and believing things we never thought were possible.
Monika: Dimitria, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Dimitria: Thank you so much, Monika, it’s been a pleasure!
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Dimitria Sparrow.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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| Dimitria's YouTube vlog. |
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