The Heroines of My Life: Interview with Carla Lewis

Monika: In recent years, more and more transgender women have become visible in public life. Unlike in the past, some now hold celebrity status, such as Lana Wachowski in film, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you believe we will continue to see more transgender women rise to prominence?

Carla: I do believe we will have more and more transgender “celebrities” come out. However, while they are making trans issues more palatable for the masses, there are many more who are making contributions to humanity and actively fighting for equality that the public will never know.

Monika: At the same time, we often hear devastating news about violence against transgender women. For example, Chrissy Polis was brutally beaten by two teenagers in a McDonald’s simply for using the women’s restroom. In your view, what can be done to prevent such tragedies?

Carla: These kinds of incidents happen because transgender people are not viewed as human by many. Until transsexuals are universally seen as “people” these tragedies will continue to plague us. Each November, when I read over the list of dead trans people and the method of their executions, I’m reminded that we are still viewed as less than animals by some. The human race has a long way to go.

Dragon Con 2012 with Jamie.

Monika: Do you believe we will see the day, perhaps even in our lifetime, when a transgender woman could become President of the United States?

Carla: I do not believe that anything is impossible. A future transgender president could be out there right now, looking for inspiration in those around them. That is why we must all do our best to be visible in our respective communities. When you stand up for yourself, you are making a difference for everyone that follows.

Monika: Let’s talk about your personal life. You have been in a long-standing relationship with your partner, Jaime. How did the two of you first meet? Was it love at first sight?

Carla: Jaime and I met at a support group meeting in 1999, shortly after my suicide attempt. She had just completed SRS and was visiting the group to discuss her experience. I was still presenting as male at the time, and I did not know she was trans. I can still remember trying to catch my breath as she walked by. Years later, she admitted that she had felt the same about me.

Monika: When you began your relationship, how did Jaime handle the fact that you were not a genetic woman? Did the fact that she was transgender herself make things easier?

Carla: As far as physical attraction, we are an odd pair. Jaime only feels attracted to men, while I only to women. Even still, our attraction and love for one another is far deeper than our genitals.

Monika: Jaime underwent gender reassignment surgery, while you chose to remain pre-op. Could you share why you made that decision?

Carla: As I mentioned, Jaime was post-op when I met her. Since that time, I’ve been in perpetual transition. Concerned with raising teenage children, paying a mortgage, and all the expenses that come with being an adult, surgery has seemed a financial luxury that I’ve not been willing to commit to. Truly, if I had the money today, I’d pay bills instead.

Carla and Jamie.

Monika: Every time I look at your photos, I’m struck by how often you change your hairstyle—and you always look fantastic! How do you manage that? Carla: More than anything else, Jaime is an accomplished stylist with an eight-station salon. Many of my hairstyles are never selected by choice. Jaime wants to try a new cut or color, and I am her guinea pig. As she is fond of telling me while in her chair, “You’ll get what I give you!” Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Are there particular styles, colors, or trends that you prefer? Carla: I am a jeans-and-t-shirt person. There have been times when an occasion or venue has compelled me to dress up, but if I had my way, I’d be in athletic shoes. I love faded jeans more than anything else. Monika: Are you actively involved in your local LGBTQ+ community? Carla: For years, I was one of the board members organizing our local pride festival in Knoxville, TN. Additionally, I try to stay politically connected across the state. Because of this, I know many people in the LGBTQ+ community, but I’ve never really been part of the nightlife crowd. Monika: Can you tell me the story of how you convinced the company to abandon a transphobic advertising campaign for Totino’s Pizza? Carla: This one event is really a minor footnote in the type of activity I’ve been involved in over the years. However, by chance, I was reading news on some websites and noticed a Totino’s ad in the sidebar that I thought was very offensive to me as a trans woman. Having recently had wild success with online petitions on change.org with the arson case of Carol Ann and Laura Stutte, I quickly composed a letter and petition on change.org and had success within a matter of hours. I was really blown away by General Mills’ response. Monika: Have you read any books or articles that shed new light on the transgender experience? Carla: I try to keep up with any research that advances understanding of transgender people, but I often find that regardless of strides forward, science always fails to advance equality. It’s up to each of us to compel those around us to treat others with dignity and respect.

Carla as Power Girl.

Monika: I know that you are religious. Do you think that religious belief can provide support or guidance for transgender women? What role does religion play in your life?

Carla: I WAS a religious person in my youth. Being raised in a Southern Baptist household with mandatory family Bible study and worship attendance gave me a foundation of Biblical knowledge that eventually led to my disbelief. My questions to faith leaders went unanswered until I finally realized that my religion was just another myth. I’m not so bold or arrogant that I can profess there is no God, but I cannot profess that there is one either. That is why I consider myself agnostic.

Monika: Would you describe yourself as a feminist?

Carla: I’m not so strong in my positions that I would describe myself as a feminist, but I do take issue with stereotypical gender roles. I believe each person has far more potential than the limits that cultural gender allows. I am adamant that I’ll not give my grandchildren any clothing item or toy that reinforces traditional gender stereotypes.

Monika: Have you ever considered writing your memoirs?

Carla: I’ve thought of doing so many times and am often encouraged to pursue it by others. Admittedly, I am not famous, a celebrity, or a dazzling public figure, but I have a wealth of anecdotal material and life experience to share with others. My problem is that there is not yet a fitting ending to my life story.

Monika: Carla, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with us!

All the photos: courtesy of Carla Lewis.