The Heroines of My Life: Interview with Carla Lewis

Monika: We are witnessing more and more transgender ladies coming out. Unlike in previous years, some of them have the status of celebrities or are really well-known, just to mention Lana Wachowski in film-directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academic life, Laura Jane Grace in music or Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we will have more and more such women?

Carla: I do believe we will have more and more transgender “celebrities” come out. However, while they are making trans issues more palatable for the masses, there are many more that are making contributions to humanity and actively fighting for equality that the public will never know.

Monika: At the same time sometimes we get horrible news about transgender women being killed or beaten just as in the infamous case of Chrissy Polis that was beaten by two teenagers in Macdonald’s because she used the ladies’ toilet. How can we prevent it?

Carla: These kinds of incidents happen because transgender people are not viewed as human by many. Until transsexuals are universally seen as “people” these tragedies will continue to plague us.

Each November, when I read over the list of dead trans people and the method of their executions, I’m reminded that we are still viewed as less than animals by some. The human race has a long way to go.

Dragon Con 2012 with Jamie.

Do you think that in our lifetime we could live to the day when a transgender lady could become the President of the USA?

Carla: I do not believe that anything is impossible. A future transgender president could be out there right now, looking for inspiration in those around them. That is why we must all do our best to be visible in our respective communities. When you stand up for yourself, you are making a difference for everyone that follows.

Monika: We have not mentioned one person so far. You have been in a long-standing relationship with your partner Jaime. When did you meet for the first time? Was it love at first sight?

Carla: Jaime and I meet at a support group meeting in 1999 shortly after my suicide attempt. She had just completed SRS and was visiting the group to discuss her experience. I was still presenting as male at the time and I did not know she was trans. I can still remember trying to catch my breath as she walked by. Years later, she admitted that she had felt the same about me.

Monika: How did she accept the fact that you were not a genetic woman? Did it help that she was transgender herself?

Carla: As far as physical attraction, we are an odd pair. Jaime only feels attracted to men, while I only to women. Even still, our attraction and love for one another is far deeper than our genitals.

Your partner underwent a gender reassignment surgery whereas you stayed pre-op. Why?

Carla: As I mentioned, Jaime was post-op when I met her. Since that time, I’ve been in perpetual transition. Concerned with raising teenage children, paying a mortgage, and all the expenses that come with being an adult, surgery has seemed a financial luxury that I’ve not been willing to commit to. Truly, if I had the money today, I’d pay bills instead.

Carla and Jamie.

Monika: Every time I look at your photos, what strikes me was that you always have a different haircut and you look fantastic! How do you do it?

Carla: More than anything else, Jaime is an accomplished stylist with an eight-station salon. Many of my hairstyles are never selected by choice. Jaime wants to try a new cut or color and I am her guinea pig. As she is fond of telling me while in her chair, “You’ll get what I give you!”

Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?

Carla: I am jeans and t-shirt person. There have been times when an occasion or venue has compelled me to dress up, but if I had my way, I’d be in athletic shoes. I love faded jeans more than anything else.

Monika: Are you involved in the life of your local LGBT community?

Carla: For years, I was one of the board members that organized our local pride festival in Knoxville, TN. Additionally, I try to stay politically connected across the state. Because of this, I know many people in the LGBT community, but I’ve never really been part of the nightlife crowd.

Monika: Could you tell me how you convinced the company to abandon a transphobic advertising campaign for Totino's Pizza?

Carla: This one event is really a minor footnote in the type of activity I’ve been involved in over the years. However, by chance, I was reading news on some websites and noticed a Totino’s ad in the sidebar that I thought was very offensive to me as a trans woman.

Having recently had wild success with online petitions on change.org with the arson case of Carol Ann and Laura Stutte, I quickly composed a letter and petition on change.org and had success within a matter of hours. I was really blown away by General Mills’ response.

Monika: Have you read any book or article which shed new light on the transgender phenomenon?

Carla: I try to keep up with any research that advances understanding of transgender people, but I often find that regardless of strides forward, science always fails to advance equality. It’s up to each of us to compel those around us to treat others with dignity and respect. I know that you a religious person.

Carla as Power Girl.

Monika: Do you think that a belief in religion could somehow help transgender women? What is the role of religion in your life?

Carla: I “was” a religious person in my youth. Raised in a Southern Baptist household with mandatory family Bible study and worship attendance gave me the foundation of Biblical knowledge that eventually led to my disbelief.

My questions to faith leaders went unanswered until I finally realized that my religion was just another myth. I’m not so bold or arrogant that I can profess there is no God, but I cannot profess that there is one either. That is why I consider myself agnostic.

Monika: Are you a feminist?

Carla: I’m not so strong in my positions that I would describe myself as a feminist, but I do take issue with stereotypical gender roles.

I believe each person has far more potential than the limits that cultural gender allows. I am adamant that I’ll not give my grandchildren any clothing item or toy that reinforces traditional gender stereotypes.

Monika: Have you ever considered writing your own memoirs?

Carla: I’ve thought of doing so many times and am often encouraged to pursue it by others. Admittedly, I am not famous, a celebrity, or a dazzling public figure, but I have a wealth of anecdotal material and life experience to share with others. My problem is that there is not yet a fitting ending to my life story.

Monika: Carla, thank you for the interview!

All the photos: courtesy of Carla Lewis.