Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Chloe: To be honest, when you compare Australia to the UK or USA, we aren't doing badly (by comparison that is). I don't know how, but our media hasn't been altered due to JK Rowling speaking against trans women or the USA making such a huge deal about bathroom bills.
I'm both relieved and surprised we haven't been affected, as Australia usually follows in the footsteps of America and the UK. I do think we could be doing better though. There are no Trans related surgeries covered on our public or private health insurance at the moment, which is pretty backward in terms of other Western countries. People here aren't generally all that accepting of us. I think it's mostly a result of so little coverage of us in the media. Nothing in society becomes acceptable and okay when it appears to be so 'abnormal', and the only way to change that is to have more exposure of Trans people in Australia.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Chloe: I think I'm actually incredibly boring when it comes to designer fashion. I do enjoy fashion and clothing, I see it as an extension of who we are on the inside. Part of being my true self was realizing I am aloud and should be comfortable wearing clothes that I would consider "sexy" on me. I was super embarrassed to even show too much leg when I first began my transition, let alone cleavage. I was so scared of being labeled a slut. But now I take that word as a compliment, it more so empowers me (as crazy as that sounds). I don't really care about the brand, as long as I feel sexy and comfortable in it.
However, there is one designer thing I'd love to buy... And that's a pair of Louboutin heels! One day I hope to buy them :)
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| "To be honest, when you compare Australia to the UK or USA, we aren't doing badly." |
Monika: I love them too! Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Chloe: I try to, but not as often as I would like. I think this is because when I wear makeup, it's not out of the joy of experimenting. It's mostly for recording videos, and I often rush it; as I try to record when I'm feeling inspired (and I don't want to lose that inspiration).
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Chloe: I think most people do, so I'd be lying if I were to say I didn't. But it really depends on who is complimenting me at the end of the day. I don't feel beautiful or pretty. It's very rare I feel beautiful, which sometimes I find a bit sad. I look at some of my older photos or videos even from a year ago and realize I was pretty, but I can never feel that way in the present for some reason.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Chloe: Yes, I remember it very vividly. I was so nervous. It was my first job after having SRS. I was so concerned about how to walk and talk as a woman, thinking it was something I needed to act out as if I were in a role on TV. It was possibly the most difficult interview I'd ever had.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Chloe: That's such a difficult question to answer, as I'd give a different answer to different women. I mean, it really depends on where you are at with your transition first of all. I think my best advice would be: always remember your self-worth and that being transgender isn't something you should feel worried about when going for a job interview or getting employment. People will only put you down if they can sense you're trying to hide something or are ashamed.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Chloe: Not as much as I'd like. Ideally, I want to volunteer at a hospital in Melbourne where children go with their parents to transition. I'm still making some inquiries regarding that though.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Chloe: To be honest, this can change from day to day. For the most part, I have accepted that it will be difficult to find the love I deserve as a trans woman. So I have in a way, shut my brain off from even entertaining the idea. I won't let the idea of falling in love determine my happiness. But I do hope I find it one day.
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| "It's very rare I feel beautiful, which sometimes I find a bit sad." |
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Chloe: I haven't given that a lot of thought. I mean, I know my life has been like a roller coaster. It could be interesting. But I think a lot of people live fairly interesting lives. So I guess my short answer is "not really" haha. Not yet anyway.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Chloe: Pregnant... jokes! Although I did see a scientific study that said trans women should in theory be able to sustain a womb transplant and carry a child.
At this stage, I hope I'm able to do something I love and do it within the trans community. But I'm unsure of what I’ll be doing in 7 years.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Chloe: This is a tricky situation. It does depend on their circumstance. But the first thing I say is: "It's never too late to transition". I also make sure they are aware that life as a trans woman is difficult. But it's also beautiful to be a part of the trans community for the most part.
I would also tell them: to make sure they are ready. They can always start hormones and grow their hair, while they prepare to publicly transition.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Chloe: Yes definitely. Trans people would never have gotten anywhere in the past if it weren't for dreaming big! In the past 10 years alone, we have trans women on television, on YouTube, and getting exposure all throughout the media. That never happened before, unless we were the butt of a joke (or a murder victim). Who knows what we can achieve in another 10 years.
Monika: Chloe, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Chloe: Thank you so much, Monika, you are so sweet!
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Chloe Pickard.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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