Monika: How do you view the way transgender stories have been portrayed in the media, in films, books, and other platforms so far?
Ellen: I think the media are also trying to get it right when it comes to trans people, at least as of late. Like the rest of society 20 years ago, the media at that time portrayed us as drag queens and confused gay men. I think those stereotypes have now evaporated in the media.
Monika: With more transgender women becoming visible and some achieving celebrity status, do you think we will continue to see more trans women gaining recognition in various fields?
Ellen: Yes. I think the more that society is accepting of trans people, the more that trans people will be accepting of themselves. That leads to personal bravery and doing the hard work of coming out, regardless of who it may hurt or the problems, economic or relational, that it may cause. However, we need to remember that it’s still legal to discriminate against trans people in 33 states in the U.S. That has to change.
Monika: What do you see as the most pressing issues currently on the transgender advocacy agenda?
Ellen: There are several issues. One relates to enacting state and federal laws that protect gender-variant people in employment, housing, and credit. There is also a huge issue with bullying, as most trans teens report being bullied on a regular basis. Bullying, in general, can leave emotional scars that last a lifetime.
Monika: Are there specific challenges regarding the legal system and incarceration for transgender individuals?
Ellen: Access to the court system and protection of gender-variant individuals who are incarcerated are exceedingly important. For example, I saw a statistic recently that two to three gender-variant people are being arrested in the Minneapolis metro area daily. This not only raises housing issues, such as whether female-identifying trans people have the right to be placed in female housing, but also raises the question of whether gender-variant people are being targeted by law enforcement. There is clearly much work to do.
Monika: In American politics, interest groups often push for their specific goals. How effective has the transgender community been in influencing political change?
Ellen: It’s a work in progress. I believe the Human Rights Campaign understands that it made a mistake by not pressing for trans rights several years ago when Congress was considering expanding employment discrimination laws to protect gays and lesbians. The trans community, in my view, does not speak with a unified voice, which makes it difficult to achieve consistent change.
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| Lecture for Call4JusticeMN (YouTube) |
Monika: How has the transgender community been represented within the broader LGBT movement, and are trans people able to advocate for their own causes effectively?
Ellen: For a long time, trans people were considered the “ugly cousin” in the LGBT alphabet. However, just as society, in general, is becoming more accepting of trans people, so too are gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. One of my favorite readings from my memoir, “Getting to Ellen,” was with a group of LGBT people; they were a wonderful audience and they asked great questions. Most importantly, I felt genuinely accepted and liked.
Monika: Does the trans community face challenges in speaking with a unified voice?
Ellen: Still, as I said before, the trans community doesn’t speak with a unified voice. Some in the community are quite reactionary, I call them the “burn it down” segment. While I respect their right to express an opinion, I don’t agree that the route to acceptance or inclusion is by eliminating prisons or law enforcement. Certainly, as a society as a whole, we need to evaluate incarceration policies and police targeting of various communities, but I don’t believe that trans people have a monopoly on being marginalized.
Monika: What do you think is the best approach for achieving progress and acceptance for transgender people?
Ellen: My view is that all positive change is incremental. It may be two steps forward, one step backward, two more forward, and so on. The key is having positive role models, positive messaging that communicates “we simply want to live as our true selves,” and acting with loving kindness toward others.
Monika: Are you involved in politics, and do you take part in lobbying efforts? How much impact do you think transgender women can have in political life?
Ellen: Yes, yes, and yes. I’m involved in local community organizing; I have been told that I should take a more prominent role politically, but I’m uncertain whether I want my life to be dictated by fundraising and nonstop meetings. I have participated in lobbying. Recently, I testified before the Minnesota Senate regarding expanding state-subsidized health care to cover sex reassignment surgery. Unfortunately, this change was not enacted.
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| With her brother. |
Monika: Do you believe we will live to see the day when a transgender woman could become President of the United States?
Ellen: Oh, woman! I’m 56 years old, so no, I don’t think I’ll ever see a transwoman as the U.S. President in my lifetime. However, I do believe the potential exists for transwomen to be elected to the U.S. Senate or House or to a state governorship.
Monika: How would you describe your sense of style? What kinds of clothes do you enjoy wearing, and do you have favorite designers, colors, or trends?
Ellen: Of course I love fashion! In Minnesota, the weather is a bit skewed toward longer winters and shorter summers. Still, I wear skirts or dresses every chance I get, in large part because I could never do that in public when I lived as a man. I am a big fan of Banana Republic clothes. I also love, absolutely love, Athleta dresses. They’re easy to wear, easy to clean, and just plain fun!
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants?
Ellen: I’m not a big fan of beauty pageants in general. I think they marginalize women and make them objects for men to covet and women to be jealous about. The same goes for transwomen beauty pageants.
Monika: How important has love been in your life, and what role does it play for you now?
Ellen: Love. Wow. I was so incredibly lucky as a man to have Lydia in my life. We were together for 32 years (going back to high school) before everything fell apart. I miss her every day. I would really like to love and be loved again. The problem is that I’m incredibly picky about who I become involved with. The key requirement is that we be able to giggle together; I’ve not found many people who are my kind of giggler. I just don’t know if love will ever happen to me again. Most of the time I’m okay with that since now, I have someone whom I didn’t have before, I have me, Ellie Krug.
Monika: What are your immediate goals at this stage of your life, and how do you envision the next several years unfolding for you?
Ellen: What a great question! As I said before, I feel that I’ve lived two separate lives. My life as a man included finding my soul mate, learning how to be a good trial lawyer, and then building a law firm that was quite successful. Of course, I wasn’t living an authentic life at the time and everything eventually had to change.
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| With Thap. |
Monika: How has your experience as a woman differed from your earlier life, and what are you still learning?
Ellen: My second life as a woman is barely four years old. I am still learning many things about how gender roles differ and about how to make my way through the world as a woman, let alone a transwoman.
Monika: What are your goals with your non-profit work, and how does it connect to your broader mission in life?
Ellen: I would like to complete my non-profit work, which was work I could never do when I had a law firm and obligations to employees, clients, and the like. On a larger scale, I would like to continue my work at what I call “growing human-to-human contact.” I believe that many of our problems directly relate to how we have become separated from each other, through multiple screens per day, through the grind of schedules, and by living segregated lives where we never see or interact with people who are different from us.
Monika: How do you hope to expand this human connection on a global scale, and what impact do you hope it will have?
Ellen: As humans, we have so many commonalities, we all want to love and be loved; we cherish our children and want to be cherished back; we want peace in our lives, and we all have personal demons. I’d like to travel around the world talking about the importance of “going into the gray,” the uncomfortable place where we force ourselves to reach out to one another and give of ourselves. Many wonderful things can ripple from getting to know each other as human beings. So, in a perfect world, I’m a speaker who touches people. That would be my way of changing the world, one person at a time. I think my story makes that at least possible.
Monika: Looking back on your journey, would you say that you are truly happy as a woman today?
Ellen: Yes, I am incredibly happy! All of the compartments that I lived with previously as a man are gone, gone, gone! I’m now living as one unified person, and the freedom of having that is quite wonderful, and something that I could never have fully understood before transitioning. I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to live the life I have now, and I have much gratitude for how kind people have been to me. Very few people get a “do-over,” like mine, and I never forget that it was luck, self-honesty, and the love of others that got me here.
Monika: Ellen, it has been such a privilege to speak with you today. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Ellen: Monika! Great questions! I appreciate the opportunity to be heard!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Ellen Krug.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
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