Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person?
Jessie: My first recollections of transgender women are probably Christine Jorgeson and Renee Richards and those are memories of how they were made out to be freaks and someone to laugh at. I think those memories probably did more to keep me in the closet than anything. My first time meeting a trans person took place at work when I was assigned to try a man for killing a trans woman on Sunset Boulevard in 1988.
My key eyewitnesses were other trans women and I spent a lot of time talking with them. We also had a woman who transitioned on the job and she was incredibly beautiful. I still remember her getting off the elevator and a cop saying how hot she was to some of my fellow DA’s. They responded by saying that she was a dude and laughing. It was seeing those things that also helped keep me closeted for so long.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow or followed?
Jessie: There are so many and I’m fortunate to know so many of them in real life. I lived with Angelica Ross for a year and there is no one who I admire more for her talent and advocacy. She taught me so much of what it means to be a trans woman.
There were a couple of women I found on-line who showed me that it was possible to transition late in life. I’ve never met Roxy Rose but we have talked in the past. Her videos were a big help in allowing me to see the possibilities. Karee Brinlee was another woman who helped show me the way initially as did Cameron Edin. I was friends with Nikki Araguz Loyd who was as fierce a trans advocate as you could find and an amazing mentor. Sadly she passed away a few years ago.
There are a ton of additional trans women and men who are incredible role models from so many different walks of life who I follow and have so much respect for. Jen Richards, Rain Valdez, Alexandra Billings, Jennifer Boylan, Van Barnes, Jessica Taylor, Shannon Minter, Jillian Weiss, Chase Strangio, Ezra Young, Erin Reed, Kristen Browde, Jessica Lynn, Dawn Ennis, Fallon Fox, Jamie Jameson, Sarah McBride, Sara Schnorr, Jessie Earl, Lilly Wachowski, Lynn Conway, Alexandra Grey, Rhys Ernst, Zackary Drucker, Bamby Salcedo, Rachel See, and so many others. These are people who are living life to the fullest and are incredible advocates for our community. There are also so many trans people who are not as public who I view as role models.
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| "I have been told by so many people that I need to write a book." |
Jessie: I have a very expansive wardrobe and what I wear depends on the time, place and event. I have business suits that I wear to court and more casual business wear that I wear to the office. I have formal evening wear and sexy evening dresses. I have jeans, sweatshirts and leggings for casual wear. I have a collection of over 100 bikinis. I have a goth side and have some beautiful and sexy black clothes that I wear out. I have a pretty eclectic collection of clothes.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Jessie: Not really. I don’t wear foundation unless it is a very special event. I usually only put on eye shadow, liner and mascara for my eyes and lip stain on my lips. Occasionally I will wear false eyelashes. It usually only takes me 5-10 minutes to get ready to go out.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Jessie: LOL what woman doesn’t like receiving compliments? I have been so surprised about getting compliments about my appearance from random strangers. When I have someone say that I look stunning or that I’m gorgeous in my mind I always add “for an old trans woman.” I have a hard time not being self-deprecating when I receive a compliment from someone. It’s something that I need to work on and realize that maybe I didn’t become an ugly woman as some people told me when I started my transition.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Jessie: There are so many different types of love but all of them have importance. Love of family and friends is the most important to me. I am very fortunate to have so many people who love me and I love in return. I have been in love romantically a number of times in my life. Sadly, I still haven’t found the person who is my soulmate.
I was married for 23 years and how that ended has soured me towards marriage. I still hope that I will be able to find someone who I can fall in love with and spend my later years of life with but I don’t fixate on that. If it happens it will happen, probably when I least expect it. Until then I am having a fun time looking and exploring my sexuality.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Jessie: I have been told by so many people that I need to write a book. I have been working on compiling a lot of information about my life, work, and transition and have started the process. Being involved in so many projects and working full time makes it difficult to find the time to focus on the actual writing but my goal is to get a couple of sample chapters written to see if there is any interest in my story by a publisher.
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| "For me, transitioning was one of the most important, difficult and ultimately rewarding decisions I have ever made." |
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Jessie: It is very difficult to provide advice in a vacuum. Transitioning is such a personal decision and everyone has different life experiences and situations. For me, transitioning was something that was incredibly scary to contemplate. I was fortunate to be able to transition without much disruption of my life. But I was prepared, as all trans women need to be when they transition, to lose it all. So you need to be prepared mentally, physically and emotionally for everything to change.
For me, transitioning was one of the most important, difficult and ultimately rewarding decisions I have ever made. For so many years I prayed that I would die because I didn’t want to go on living. Transition changed all that and I truly love the life that I now am living. If you can get over those initial fears and you can live an authentic life it can be worth all the sacrifices you have to make to get there.
Monika: My pen-friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Jessie: Our potential is only limited by our own limitations that we put on ourselves. If you say to yourself “I can’t do…..” then guess what? You can’t do it. We need to expand our thoughts and self-awareness and give ourselves permission to try. I am a firm believer in manifesting what it is that you want and seeing it succeed in your thoughts. I’m not going to let others tell me what I can and can’t do. Give yourself permission to try and see that success in your mind and you can do amazing things.
Monika: Jessie, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Jessie: It was my pleasure. It has been an interesting experience to think about these questions and answers and has helped me look into myself a bit deeper. Thank you for asking me.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Jessie McGrath.
© 2023 - Monika Kowalska
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