Meet Alexandra Billings, an enchanting soul whose journey through life and art has been nothing short of luminous. Born in 1962 in Schaumburg, Illinois, Alexandra was raised in a rich tapestry of musicality and academia: her father, the musical director for the Los Angeles Civic Light Opera, and her mother part of a line of devoted educators. From the tender age of five, she stepped onto stage, driven by the spellbinding world of theater that would come to define her. In the vibrant LGBTQ+ scene of early 1980s Chicago, Alexandra blossomed as “Shanté,” captivating audiences at the iconic Baton Show Lounge and under glittering stage lights. She claimed titles in beauty pageants, Miss Wisconsin, Miss Chicago, and more, while refining her craft in drag performance. Yet her artistic legacy was deeper: she wove her truth into the solo, autobiographical piece Before I Disappear, sharing her experiences with resilience, addiction recovery, and love in a powerful one-woman show that charmed audiences from Chicago to Boston, Los Angeles, and New York.
On screen, Alexandra etched history in 2005 by portraying Donna in Romy and Michelle: In the Beginning, becoming one of the first transgender actresses to play an openly trans character on television. Her career soared with guest roles on ER, Grey’s Anatomy, Eli Stone, and Karen Sisco, all before her beloved portrayal of Davina in the groundbreaking 2014 Amazon series Transparent. But Alexandra is far more than a performer. A devoted activist and teacher, she has been living with HIV since 1985 and has dedicated decades to AIDS advocacy, LGBTQ youth outreach, and the power of storytelling as healing. Inducted into the Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame in 2005, she has shared her voice and her message across classrooms and communities, inspiring many with courage and grace. Alexandra earned an MFA from California State University, Long Beach, where she later began teaching, and begun her academic journey at USC’s School of Dramatic Arts. Throughout her life and work, she’s been a beacon of authenticity and transformation, turning vulnerability into art and brightness into breakthrough. This preface barely scratches the surface of Alexandra’s essence: she is radiant, resilient, and resolutely feminine, a living testament to the beauty of embracing one's full, dazzling truth.
Monika: Today, it is both my pleasure and a true honor to welcome Alexandra Billings, an extraordinary American actress, teacher, and singer, and a trailblazing force in transgender representation on screen. Born in Schaumburg, Illinois, Alexandra made history as the first trans woman to portray a transgender character on television. Her unforgettable performances in ER, Eli Stone, Grey’s Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder, and The Conners have touched hearts and opened minds across the world. I must admit, I’m absolutely thrilled to have the chance to speak with such an iconic and inspiring woman. Hello, Alexandra!
Alexandra: Well, hi there, Monika. I’m so glad we can chat like this. I love this cyber-age, there’s so much you can do virtually. Well… almost anything. No… wait. Literally anything.
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| Publicity photo for The Baton Showlounge, 1986 or 7, by Unknown. |
Monika: You come from an artistic family. Is it the reason why you became an artist and your whole professional life focuses on beauty pageants, theaters, movies, and singing?
Alexandra: Strangely, I come from both an artistic and academic family. My Dad was the musical director at Civic Light Opera House in LA for many years, and my mother was a teacher, as was her mother and her mother before her. My Dad also taught as well as flew in the air force and retired as a Lt Colonel. So, I’m half bohemian, half professor. I think that’s why I’ve always had this strange sense of adventure mixed with a need to settle down and nest. I’m like a frustrated Carol Brady… on a dash of crack.
Monika: You began your professional career in the early 1980s, performing under the stage name Shanté at the famed Baton Show Lounge in Chicago. What are your memories of that time?
Alexandra: Some of the best and worst moments of my life. I learned my craft at a very young age. I was seven years old when I first stepped on stage, and from that point on, I did nothing else. When I began my transition in 1980, there was no Will & Grace, no RuPaul, there was nothing. I assumed my career was over, and the only thing I could do that had any connection to performing was lip-synch.
Monika: What did lip-synching and performing as Shanté mean to you on a more personal level?
Alexandra: I did love it, though. It filled something really beautiful in me. I’d been doing that since I could open my mouth, and I used it as a kind of healing. I’d fake an illness to avoid the bullying at school, and I’d stay home and pretend I was Streisand, or Garland, or Liza. And it healed me. It brought me great joy and gave me hope and serenity at an age when I really just thought I was insane.
Monika: In those early days of performing and finding your voice, what did that experience give you, not just as an artist, but as a person navigating your identity?
Alexandra: I found I could do it, and get paid for it. That was amazing to me. I’d never heard of such a thing, and I thought I’d struck gold. And then, I met my family. My transgender family. These girls became my confessors, my parents, and my best friends. For a while, it was beautiful. I had found my tribe. It was the first time I truly felt seen, not just on stage, but in the eyes of people who understood me without explanation.
Monika: What changed when the AIDS crisis began to unfold?
Alexandra: When the Plague came, people died, and they died quickly. I lost almost everyone I had known, and I soon became a nurse and caretaker. So, the magic seemed to transition into a much darker, much more dangerous existence. That’s when it got bleak, and when my life really turned. Grief became a constant companion, and every performance after that carried a shadow of the ones I had lost.
Monika: Do you still keep in touch with the incredible women you performed with at the Baton Show Lounge?
Alexandra: Oh God, yes. As much as I can. I just spoke to Dana Douglas not too long ago, and I give Chili Pepper a call whenever I can. It’s hard, though, she’s very fancy, and I usually end up speaking to her machine. Or her maid. We may not talk every day, but there’s an unbreakable bond that time or distance can’t erase.
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| Publicity photo for Miss Florida, 1990, photo by Jennifer Gerard. |
Monika: You’ve won numerous titles, Miss Wisconsin, Miss New York, Miss Chicago, Miss Illinois, Miss Florida. Did those wins change how you saw yourself?
Alexandra: I never thought of myself as particularly attractive, so calling them beauty contests is always hilarious to me. I remember standing backstage in the middle of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen in my life and feeling like E.T. Winning was always a shock. I always looked around assuming there was someone else on stage named Shanté. But over time, each crown became a small reminder that maybe I belonged, just a little, on that stage too.
Monika: In 2003, you made television history as the first transgender woman to play a transgender character on TV in Romy and Michele: In the Beginning. What was it like to see yourself on screen for the very first time?
Alexandra: It was thrilling, honestly. I grew up a TV baby, so seeing myself on the tube was extraordinary for me. It was a huge gift. I felt very lucky and very grateful. I also felt that I needed Botox. Badly.
Monika: You’ve portrayed several transgender characters on television in shows like Karen Sisco, ER, Eli Stone, and Grey’s Anatomy. Do you ever wish you had been offered roles as cisgender women instead?
Alexandra: My manager’s working on that one. You know, it’s funny, I only played one transgender character in my entire theatrical career in Chicago and New York. It wasn’t until I got here to Hollywood that I started portraying so many transgender people. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but the irony isn’t lost on me. As a side note: irony is never lost on me. I make sure of that. What I mean is, I try not to take myself quite so seriously anymore. It’s all part of the dance between who we are and who the world lets us be.
Monika: How has your understanding of yourself as an artist evolved through those experiences?
Alexandra: I used to believe that what I did was all of who I was. I don’t believe that anymore. What I do is only a small part of who I actually am. I certainly think it’s about time for us to play the gender we are in our spirit and our vessel, that time is long overdue. However, I’ve learned in my life not to question, merely to go. I just go forward into the next unknown thing and stand there with my arms open. It’s been amazing, and the gifts I’ve received have been astonishing. I feel very lucky and very blessed. There’s a kind of quiet power in surrendering to the journey without needing to control every part of it.
Monika: You’ve had an extraordinary journey in the theater world, especially in Chicago’s vibrant scene, performing at venues like the Bailiwick Theater, Light Opera Works, Court Theatre, and Steppenwolf Theatre, and working with playwrights such as Larry Kramer, Tina Landau, and Jamie Pachino. Are there any productions that stand out as especially defining or transformative for your career?
Alexandra: That’s a tough one. I don’t know that any project I’ve ever done has been more important than another. They’ve all meant something to me, and they’ve all eventually had ramifications. People tend to receive what they want and what they allow themselves to. For a long time, I was described as a Singing Drag Queen. Each play shaped me differently, and in some cases, I didn’t even realize their impact until years later.
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Schoolboy to Showgirl: The Alexandra Billings Story (pbs.org) |
Monika: How have those evolving labels, from Singing Drag Queen to Transgender Actress, shaped your relationship with your own work?
Alexandra: Then I was known as a Transgender Actress. Now… who knows? I guess it depends on who’s writing the article and what the last thing they saw me in was. Perhaps the importance of what I did is more up to the people who saw it. I try not to think about it too much. If I read something I don’t like, I do one of two things: I write a scathing letter and let out all my rage and pain, or I watch an episode of I Love Lucy. Either way, I win. In the end, what matters most to me is staying honest in the work and keeping my heart open.
Monika: Your one-woman autobiographical show was met with great success during its tour through Boston, Chicago, and Los Angeles. What initially motivated you to create such a deeply personal performance?
Alexandra: I wanted to be heard. Unfortunately, at the time, I wanted to be heard first. It was very important to me to get the facts of my life in some kind of order before anyone else got the chance. And although I loved doing the show, it was very dark and very fragmented. It felt like a necessary release, but not always a joyful one.
Monika: Do you feel differently now about telling your story on stage?
Alexandra: I think I have another one in me, but this time it’s about sharing more than being the loudest person in the room. There’s a softness I’ve discovered with time, and I’d like the next story to come from that place.
Monika: Your first album Being Alive was up for Grammy consideration, and your second album The Story Goes On was also met with praise. What made you step away from recording music?
Alexandra: I don’t do this well. And by that I mean, going into the studio and singing isn’t my cup of tea. I like people. I like to see them. I like to be with them and to hear them and to feel them come towards me. When I’m in a studio, the only thing that comes toward me is the microphone. It just feels a bit too sterile for the kind of emotional exchange I crave when I perform.
Monika: Was it the technical process that made recording feel unnatural for you?
Alexandra: It’s also a whole other gift. It takes practice. Some people do it really, really well. I’m not one of those people. I think too much. I’m in my head and the purpose and truth of what I’m singing gets pushed aside. I usually end up doing take after take after take and still sounding like Charles Nelson Reilly. I’ll tell you a secret: I’ve never heard of either of those CDs. Never. Sometimes, letting go of something that doesn’t quite fit is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.
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| Publicity photo for the LA premiere of "Vampire Lesbians of Sodom", 2005. |
Monika: In your view, what are the most urgent priorities on today’s transgender advocacy agenda?
Alexandra: We need to be seen more. We need to be visible, and that means we need to come out of the closets. This is imperative if we expect to survive and progress. For me, it’s about education. The college kids I teach are the newest generation, and all of them know who and what I am. Always. This is how we change the world: share the truth of who we are with people who can receive it with openness and acceptance. That way, we pave the way for the younger generation to be completely and utterly free.
Monika: Do you see anyone in today’s transgender community whose activism parallels what Harvey Milk did for gay rights in the 1960s and '70s?
Alexandra: I can’t think of one. Can you? Ugh. That’s depressing. Now I need a Lucy episode.
Monika: How would you describe the current status of transgender women in American society?
Alexandra: We need to be seen more. I know too many trans people (both MTF and FTM) who run away from who they truly are. The fact that we are transgender people is an honor and a birthright. It’s not something we can escape. No matter how many times we make up a past, or pretend something didn’t exist, or lie in order to become a new person, that can’t erase history. We are the sum total of how we were born, and that is a gift. We need to embrace that and shout it from the rooftops.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Alexandra Billings.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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