Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Julia: Yes, I love fashion, I've always had my own style, a little bit gothic and a little bit refined.
So I'm always looking at what's trendy and always trying to adapt to the trends in order to make them visible in my style. That means that a lot of times I have to buy clothes and get my sewing machine to customize the clothes at home, and sewing is a therapy for me. Any time I get free, I go to the sewing machine and try something new with clothes haha.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Julia: Yes, makeup is another thing that makes me feel happy. So I have a lot of makeups, and before using makeup in an event or in a video for the Internet, you can be sure that I already tried that makeup one day before to make sure it would be good for myself, hahaha.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Julia: Yes, I think it's always a good thing. When someone compliments us on our looks we have the confirmation that we are doing a good job. But if I do makeup or I apply a certain look and no one notes that I go in the front of a mirror and I compliment myself.
I think it's important for us to do this: do things for ourselves. My makeup must be a makeup that makes me feel comfortable, my clothes must be clothes that make me feel happy and beautiful. If other people note that and compliment, that's a plus. But if no one compliments me, I am already happy because the choice I made was for myself, to make me comfortable and happy.
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| "Makeup is another thing that makes me feel happy." |
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Julia: Yes, I mean, I live in a small city of the interior, I was the first transgender girl in the local school, and I opened precedents for the next girls that came after me. And with my job producing content on the internet, some transgender girls look for me through Direct Message on Instagram looking for help, or advice about how to start gender transition, how to talk about it with the family, how to understand themselves, so I give them all the support I can do. They often call me godmother, haha it's funny, and I call them goddaughter. And I accompany their development, always advising when necessary.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Julia: Love means everything to me. When I was a child, they told me that love was controlled, that love should hurt, because some people in my family have their own psychological complexes, and they were taught that way too.
But as I did my gender transition, and started experiencing life, with the help of my psychologist, I reconstructed the meaning of love.
Love for me now is about acceptance, it is about freedom, about being happy, is about shining. When I reconstructed the meaning of love, I fell in love with life.
So today I love my routine, I love my parents, I love my fiance, love my dog (it's like a son for us haha). And after 26 years of being stuck in the wrong body, I finally could learn to love everything around me. My life is based on love now.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Julia: Yes, I have already started organizing the events in my life on paper, and I have this document on my computer. So one day I will look for a publisher and try to publish it.
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| "Love means everything to me." |
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Julia: My next step is to finish college (I'm studying languages, with a focus on Portuguese and English) and invest in my career as a model at OnlyFans and SuicideGirls and streamer at Twitch TV.
Within the next 5-7 years I see myself traveling through the world with my family, enjoying life, being happy, that's all we want.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Julia: I used to recommend girls that call me for advice that before starting the gender transition, they must first find a job or another way to support themselves because we are working for better days when you will tell your family about it and they will be by your side and support you. I do it at TikTok, Instagram, in the lives at Twitch, I talk about it every day, that we are normal people, that we deserve love and dignity and that parents must stay at our side. But I know that we didn't reach this perfect world yet. So this is the first step to start gender transition.
The second piece of advice is: when it's 3 o'clock in the morning and you are alone in your bedroom and start to feel uncomfortable and the anxiety starts, the panic crisis comes, who is there to help you calm down?
You, just you.
So live your life for yourself, because in the end, it's always you and you. You don't owe anyone anything, when you feel that you must start your gender transition, then start it, because people will always say something, so live for yourself, don't be afraid of others' opinions, they weren't there for you in the bad times. It was always about you, and will always be.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Julia: Yes, I completely agree with it. The surgery must be a personal choice, not a destination that we all need to go through.
Like I said before, all choices we do must be for ourselves, and there's no wrong way, everyone has their own way and it's all right. The world belongs to everyone, including transgender people, so live girls, there is no limit for us. Dreams are fuel for life, so go ahead and achieve them.
Monika: Julia, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Julia: Monika, the pleasure is all mine, thank you for the opportunity, I wish you success with your job, it's a beautiful and necessary job. So thank you for doing this.
Kisses, see you next time! ❤️
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Julia Martins.
© 2022 - Monika Kowalska
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