Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Pavie: Well, I am Czech but I haven’t lived there for the past 8 years, so I’m not really in touch with the community but what I know is that as trans people we have no rights there. We can’t change our name and surname (in Czechia we have a male and female version of surname), I can’t change my sex on the passport unless I’m castrated or have surgery. It’s horrible but I hope that the future election will change that. It’s embarrassing and not human at all! and makes our life so difficult.
Monika: What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Pavie: I love to feel comfortable while looking cute and sexy. That’s my motto. These days I love wearing white, it’s so pure and looks great with my tan, also I love baby pink and baby blue. It makes me feel so girly which helps me fight my gender dysphoria as I feel feminine and safe.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Pavie: I don’t experiment as much as I used to. 5 years ago when I moved to London, I experimented at least 3 times a week as I used to go out dancing all the time, it was always different colors with a different look. I was so into it. These days I’m mostly doing a quick glam, or makeup I know that suits me and I’m confident in. Very rarely do I put red lipstick on.
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| Painting in lockdown. Past months I spent mostly indoors battling my depression and other issues but when I felt OK, I put some nice lingerie on and started to paint. Paint my ideas, my dreams, my inspirations. I’ve been painting my whole life but with adulting, I kind of stopped but because of lockdown I went back to it which I’m so thankful for. Here I’m standing with a painting I’m proud of the most: A BLUE SWAN. |
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Pavie: Of course I do, who doesn’t? It feels great and makes me smile, especially when I’m feeling down or insecure. I also love complimenting strangers. It’s a great way to spread kindness around us and make someone else’s day happier and brighter.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Pavie: I actually never had a job interview after I came out as I’m self-employed. I do remember coming out as a woman during my makeup job though. I started correcting everyone when they called me he instead of she and because most of the people were lgbtq+ themselves it was a very nice environment to come out to.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Pavie: Be unapologetically you! Be strong but kind, be confident but humble, know your worth, and know you can achieve amazing things in life. Don’t let anyone treat you with disrespect. And know your rights!
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Pavie: Yes, I am very. Here in London, I have so many amazing LGBTQ+ friends and we all keep in touch, especially now when venues are opening up again and we can socialize. I really missed that. I'm also performing Britney in lots of LGBTQ venues.
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| My womanhood is sacred. It’s beautiful it’s joyful, it’s fabulous. It’s MINE. Being a transgender woman is so hard but so worth it. People tell you you’re not feminine enough, you’re not a woman if you have a penis, you’re not valid because you weren’t born as a girl. No sweetie, being a woman is not what the outside looks like. It’s in the mind. Therefore I know I am a beautiful woman and no one can take it away from me. Photo by @re__barbora. |
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Pavie: I wrote the whole chapter about love in my book. (Laughing) It's such a big topic as there are so many kinds of love. For example self-love, this kind of love is very important to me, it’s very hard to love yourself when you are transgender and you don’t feel uncomfortable in your body, so many changes you want to do, so many plans, and they all take time and patience, in those times it’s important to still love yourself.
Sometimes I didn’t accept myself, I didn’t like myself, especially my masculine body parts, but I always believed in the process and loved the beautiful Pavie still the same. And of course, love to others and from others is very important, especially for us, trans people, we experience so much hate and rejection. It’s nice to have someone who loves us unconditionally and we can trust them.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Pavie: I don’t have any big plans, I go with the flow in life and don’t plan anything because life always surprises me. Whatever shows up, whatever opportunities I get, I’ll make the decisions at the time. My philosophy is to always do the best I can and if I can’t do anything with it, I just relax and trust the process.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Pavie: I was afraid too, especially of the hormone treatment, but when I look back I’m so glad I did. It’s so worth it, I feel like I’ve blossomed like a rose and I live my life 100%. In addition, I want to say to everyone who wants to transition: Never think you’re too old to transition, in one or two years you’ll look back and you’ll be so happy you did that.
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| I was afraid too, especially of the hormone treatment, but when I look back I’m so glad I did. It’s so worth it, I feel like I’ve blossomed like a rose and I live my life 100%. |
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Pavie: Absolutely. Keep dreaming is very important and going for it is even more important. If we feel like there is more, let’s go for it. Life without regrets is so rewarding!
Monika: Pavie, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Pavie: Thank you Monika for a lovely interview. Have a great day!
All the photos: courtesy of Pavie Valsa.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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