Monika: Coming out can be an incredibly challenging process. For you, what was the hardest part of your coming out journey?
Racheal: Losing my children who were in their early 20s. Finding out my daughter is married by seeing a picture online 3 months after the wedding. Finding out she has had twins since, so I’m a Granny. Not knowing or being able to find out anything about my children. If they were killed, I doubt I’ll know until long after it happens. Hurts heaps.
Monika: Are you involved in politics or any lobbying efforts? Do you think transgender women can play an impactful role in political advocacy?
Racheal: No. I have a big problem and recognize it. I am not a diplomat. I call a spade a spade, as I see it. I speak up. I’m not good in groups for this reason either. I have been labeled a separatist, elitist, homophobic, transphobic, and more by a few people who have never met me or gotten to know me. They are the ones who are transphobic and choose to isolate and discriminate. They should know better.
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| Racheal - a normal lady after a night before. |
Yes, I do speak up and out, more for Transsexuals than Transgender, but I will still support Transgender issues. I am quite happy to allow others to express their views and opinions, I don’t have to agree with them though, but it gets me how others won’t give me the same respect. It seems that I am not allowed to have my opinion or views and have to be nobbled. It is petty and silly.
I am the secretary of Transsexuals of New Zealand, a small Facebook site. Totally open group, not a secret or hidden. People say what they want and need to take ownership and be responsible for what they say. We have been working with a local district health board and just quietly trying to plod away. Alas, we suspect there has been some interference from a couple of Gay/TG folk who have a personal dislike of me. It’s a shame because we have achieved a few things, but we don’t brag about it. We are just out there and seen.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they help or hinder the visibility of transgender women?
Racheal: Great stuff in ways. I am all for anything that gets TS/TG out there and seen. It makes people ask questions and understand us. It’s the way to end discrimination. The negative is alas instead of showing we are just the same as all others in society, it reinforces there is a difference. I’d prefer to see TS ladies allowed to compete in any beauty pageant, just on an equal footing. That we didn’t need a special one of our own. We certainly have the TS who can be Miss World. There are many stunning, unbelievably beautiful Transsexuals out there.
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| Glamor party girl. |
Monika: Have you ever been married, and could you share your thoughts on the role love has played in your life, especially considering your unique experiences?
Racheal: Yes. I have had 3 real loves and still love them all but we will never be together again. Sometimes I feel I must love differently than most. I have been a sex worker as a female, so know there is a huge difference between sex, lust, and love. As a man, I have loved women. As a woman, I have never found love with a man but would love it to happen. I have loved a Transsexual but you best read about that in my book, ‘Summer Storm.’
Monika: Your transition clearly impacted your relationship with your children. How do you view your role as their father, especially considering the changes in your life?
Racheal: Wrong sorry. They never lost their father. I am their father, will always be their father, and will never be their mother. I may have changed my gender, but that doesn’t make a person a mother. There is only one person who can be their mother and only one who can be their father.
It annoys me when I see TG make this claim. They aren’t respecting who they are and are taking something from the real mother. I don’t agree with seeing children brought up with two fathers or two mothers.
My children have disowned me but I believe one day they will seek me again. I hope I am still alive then. Just because they disowned me, doesn’t mean I am not still their father. I am still their father and nothing anyone, including me can do about it. I am a realist, not a dreamer.
Monika: How did your wife respond to your transition, and how did it affect your relationship with her?
Racheal: My wife and I had been divorced and apart for 11 years. My daughter lived with her and my son lived with me. I turned to her initially when I came out for help with the kids. I thought she was great initially but then it became clear she was using it to get her son back. She actually was the biggest problem I now believe. My partner when I came out, we’d been together 5 yrs, along with her two daughters, alas couldn’t handle. I destroyed her dream, her illusion. She and her family were vengeful and money-hungry. I realize now she was materialistic and it wasn’t real love.
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| 'Storm' at work. |
Racheal: Thanks, yes all are available on Amazon.com as ebooks. I also have a new one up, “Reflections” and hope to have my first Fiction work up within a few weeks. BDSM/Romance. “Country Boy to City Girl” is my life from birth to just post SRS/GRS.
It is a no holds barred book and tells it as it happened. “Summer Storm” post-SRS/GRS, this is my time with an amazing Transsexual Escort. She taught me so much about life, from sex work to fashion, men to hair extensions. It was an incredible time and I owe her so much.
We loved each other and yet were never intimate. Sex, drugs, love, lust, mafia, lies, and more. It is all as real and true as I know it to be however Summer was a pathological liar. That in itself was incredible. I should hate her but don’t. I will always love her but we will never be together again. I can’t seem to hate.
“Pictorial Transformation – Him to Her” is a collection of 70+ photos of my journey and shows it all. “The Transgender guide” is really just a small booklet designed for those who are first starting to ask the basic questions. “Reflections” is a collection of articles I have written or have been written about me. Magazines, newspapers, Internet.
“Pictorial Transformation – Him to Her” is a collection of 70+ photos of my journey and shows it all. “The Transgender guide” is really just a small booklet designed for those who are first starting to ask the basic questions. “Reflections” is a collection of articles I have written or have been written about me. Magazines, newspapers, Internet.
I don’t want kudos or compliments. They are about me and my views but what I wanted is to show and encourage others to stand up and speak out. The more we do, the more people will become comfortable with us and ask questions. With that comes learning, knowledge, and hopefully, tolerance followed by acceptance. I’m not special. We all are but we need to be seen and to educate the world. So if these will give ideas and encourage others to somehow get their story out there, that's great.
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| Racheal's books on Amazon. |
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Racheal: I do love fashion, what lady doesn’t. Alas to follow fashion one needs a good bank balance and that is lacking for me these days. I loved when I was escorting and had $$$, the clothes, shoes, boots, hair, and nails. So miss it. I believe I dress for the occasion.
I might wear a short cocktail dress and stilettos to some clubs but then there are other clubs I wouldn’t wear the same to. It depends if you are going for a romantic first date or to a swingers club. To the races or a Government Select committee. It really is important to consider what the event is, the people you will meet, do you want to blend in or make a statement.
Summer and I were working from an apartment in high-class east Perth. When we got there we walked down to the local shopping center for some supplies. It wasn’t long before Summer's mood changed and she insisted we go back. When we got back, she gave me an ear full. She was wearing good jeans and a nice top. I was wearing a short skirt, stilettos, and a slinky top. “Don’t ever go out again like that. We are in a class area and need to blend in, not stick out like a hooker.” She was dead right.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Racheal: I am broke, no job, miss my kids terribly, would love the company of a good partner to cuddle in bed. I am the happiest I have ever been. I love who and what I am. I am proud and confident.
I have no regrets, disappointed I lost my kids but I have no regrets. It was right for me and yes I am happy as. People love me because I am always happy, with no point in being down or glum. My glass is always half full. And it can always be topped up more *wink*.
Monika: Racheal, thank you for the interview!
All the photos: courtesy of Racheal McGonigal.
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