Monika: Politics can be a tricky world. Do you get involved, and do you think transgender women can truly influence it?
Samantha: I am certainly of the opinion that transgender people can make a difference in politics, but not necessarily because they are transgender, but because they have an interest in their local community or wider issues.
I am active in politics. I am standing as an independent candidate for my local area in this year's local elections. I am not standing because I am transgender; I am standing despite being transgender. I have very strong emotions regarding a lot of local issues that affect my local community, my family, and my friends. These are the same issues and concerns I had before I transitioned, only now I feel able to be more open and express these, as my true self is the one doing the campaigning.
Monika: That sounds like a big commitment. What are the main causes you focus on in your lobbying?
Samantha: I feel that, certainly in my local area, both the trans and the wider LGBT community are provided for reasonably well. There are support groups, drop-in centers, and comparatively easy access to mental health and medical resources if required. What is of concern is still the lack of or limiting of central funding and preventative outreach, both financed and provided at a wider, more national level. These are areas that I will actively be lobbying for, not because I am transgender, but because they are needed both locally and at a national level.
Monika: Turning to something more fun, how do you approach fashion in your daily life?
Samantha: I love clothes, shoes, make-up, hair, accessories…. I'm a girl, what more can I say. There are no particular designers that I follow or prefer; I am more of a high-street kind of shopper. I work in a professional sphere, so I have to abide by the convention regarding a dark formal suit with modest accouterments.
Monika: And what about your casual style outside work?
Samantha: In my private life I tend to be quite casual, jeans, tank with a flannel shirt, that kind of thing. Strangely, my fashion hasn’t really changed that much, apart from maybe my choice of colors and textures, which are more feminine than they were. That said, I do tend to wear skirts more now than I ever have done, LOL.
Samantha: I am certainly of the opinion that transgender people can make a difference in politics, but not necessarily because they are transgender, but because they have an interest in their local community or wider issues.
I am active in politics. I am standing as an independent candidate for my local area in this year's local elections. I am not standing because I am transgender; I am standing despite being transgender. I have very strong emotions regarding a lot of local issues that affect my local community, my family, and my friends. These are the same issues and concerns I had before I transitioned, only now I feel able to be more open and express these, as my true self is the one doing the campaigning.
Monika: That sounds like a big commitment. What are the main causes you focus on in your lobbying?
Samantha: I feel that, certainly in my local area, both the trans and the wider LGBT community are provided for reasonably well. There are support groups, drop-in centers, and comparatively easy access to mental health and medical resources if required. What is of concern is still the lack of or limiting of central funding and preventative outreach, both financed and provided at a wider, more national level. These are areas that I will actively be lobbying for, not because I am transgender, but because they are needed both locally and at a national level.
Monika: Turning to something more fun, how do you approach fashion in your daily life?
Samantha: I love clothes, shoes, make-up, hair, accessories…. I'm a girl, what more can I say. There are no particular designers that I follow or prefer; I am more of a high-street kind of shopper. I work in a professional sphere, so I have to abide by the convention regarding a dark formal suit with modest accouterments.
Monika: And what about your casual style outside work?
Samantha: In my private life I tend to be quite casual, jeans, tank with a flannel shirt, that kind of thing. Strangely, my fashion hasn’t really changed that much, apart from maybe my choice of colors and textures, which are more feminine than they were. That said, I do tend to wear skirts more now than I ever have done, LOL.
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| Southern England. "I find great peace in the open countryside." |
Monika: Love seems to play a central role in your life. Could you share more about that?
Samantha: I am only human. Love, affection, and tenderness are very important to me. I am very fortunate to have not only a very loving partner, who I have been with now for nearly fifteen years, but also the support of all my children, my extended family, and a really great group of friends. I don’t know that I would have had the strength to get through the massive depression I had before coming out without them behind me, supporting me, and giving me encouragement when needed.
Likewise, when faced with the fear of beginning the social transition, they supported me, provided me with a crutch when needed, and brought me back on track when I felt like I was getting lost or out of depth. Now, a year and a bit in, although less often, they are still providing that encouragement and support. I feel for those who are isolated when they transition, who maybe have lost that special intimate person they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings with. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be for people facing this in that position.
Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs. Have you ever thought about documenting your own experiences?
Samantha: Strangely, yes I have. I have written a book before regarding my professional field, a text about my area of law. My memoirs, I think, will remain, at least for the foreseeable future, personal to me and my family.
Monika: You clearly share your experiences in other ways. How do you help others starting their transition?
Samantha: I do get approached by a lot of people just starting the transition or seeking guidance on the practicalities of it all. I think this mainly stems from my confident external demeanor; I speak publicly a lot and don't mind facing down anything. As such, I spend a lot of time telling people how I did it, what I did, what worked and didn't, and giving advice quite readily on what I think people could do to make their situation easier.
Being a lawyer, I am always looking for a way to reach a solution to a problem. Being quite practical, I can use these skills not only in my transition but in helping others as well. My fear is always of being patronizing and telling people things they are not willing or prepared to hear. Transition is a very personal thing and individual to every girl who goes through it.
Monika: That sounds very thoughtful. How do you decide what advice to give?
Samantha: That said, it's great to see that light go on behind someone's eyes when you give that little gem, that little thing that makes all the difference. With this all in mind, I am very much thinking of writing not my memoirs as such, but more of just a record of what I did, how I did it and why, what failed, what nearly worked, and what I feel I could have done better. Hopefully, this will serve useful to those contemplating coming out or starting their transition, a sort of self-help guide as it were. Let's face it, you wouldn't try and fly a plane without having at least a couple of flying lessons, right.
Samantha: I am only human. Love, affection, and tenderness are very important to me. I am very fortunate to have not only a very loving partner, who I have been with now for nearly fifteen years, but also the support of all my children, my extended family, and a really great group of friends. I don’t know that I would have had the strength to get through the massive depression I had before coming out without them behind me, supporting me, and giving me encouragement when needed.
Likewise, when faced with the fear of beginning the social transition, they supported me, provided me with a crutch when needed, and brought me back on track when I felt like I was getting lost or out of depth. Now, a year and a bit in, although less often, they are still providing that encouragement and support. I feel for those who are isolated when they transition, who maybe have lost that special intimate person they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings with. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be for people facing this in that position.
Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs. Have you ever thought about documenting your own experiences?
Samantha: Strangely, yes I have. I have written a book before regarding my professional field, a text about my area of law. My memoirs, I think, will remain, at least for the foreseeable future, personal to me and my family.
Monika: You clearly share your experiences in other ways. How do you help others starting their transition?
Samantha: I do get approached by a lot of people just starting the transition or seeking guidance on the practicalities of it all. I think this mainly stems from my confident external demeanor; I speak publicly a lot and don't mind facing down anything. As such, I spend a lot of time telling people how I did it, what I did, what worked and didn't, and giving advice quite readily on what I think people could do to make their situation easier.
Being a lawyer, I am always looking for a way to reach a solution to a problem. Being quite practical, I can use these skills not only in my transition but in helping others as well. My fear is always of being patronizing and telling people things they are not willing or prepared to hear. Transition is a very personal thing and individual to every girl who goes through it.
Monika: That sounds very thoughtful. How do you decide what advice to give?
Samantha: That said, it's great to see that light go on behind someone's eyes when you give that little gem, that little thing that makes all the difference. With this all in mind, I am very much thinking of writing not my memoirs as such, but more of just a record of what I did, how I did it and why, what failed, what nearly worked, and what I feel I could have done better. Hopefully, this will serve useful to those contemplating coming out or starting their transition, a sort of self-help guide as it were. Let's face it, you wouldn't try and fly a plane without having at least a couple of flying lessons, right.
|
| Samantha and Stacy married for 13 years and going strong. |
Monika: Are there any new projects you’re currently focused on?
Samantha: As I said before, I am standing in the local elections for my community this May as an independent candidate. My campaigning starts in earnest within the next few weeks. I have my book idea that I am hoping to get penned this year if time permits.
I also have a website that I am developing that will have content very much along the same lines, and I am still trying to build my practice and develop the teaching side of my career. So yes, I have a few projects that I am currently playing with, that will, I am sure, keep me busy for a while.
Monika: Your experience must give you insight. What advice would you give to transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?
Samantha: Don't. That's it, don't. I did, it nearly killed me. Thankfully I am still here to write this. There were times when that very nearly was not the case. It's hard, it is very hard. It is probably the hardest thing that anyone can ever imagine having to deal with.
Monika: How can they seek support?
Samantha: Please do not suffer in silence. Help is readily at hand, if not from your GP, then from local or national support groups. People are so fundamentally understanding, society is accepting. With the right approach, there is no reason why anyone should lose out or suffer. Everyone has the right to be happy and live a content and fulfilled life. If you have questions about your gender identity, get them answered. If you are unable to find that answer totally from within, get expert help in having that answer sought. If you know the answer and want to push forward, do so.
Far too many people get old and reflect on their deathbeds about the lives they did not lead, the things they didn't do, and thoughts of what it would have been like if only they had. You only get one chance at this life; live it the way you NEED to and not how others may tell you to.
Monika: Samantha, thank you so much for sharing your story today!
Samantha: You are very welcome.
Samantha: As I said before, I am standing in the local elections for my community this May as an independent candidate. My campaigning starts in earnest within the next few weeks. I have my book idea that I am hoping to get penned this year if time permits.
I also have a website that I am developing that will have content very much along the same lines, and I am still trying to build my practice and develop the teaching side of my career. So yes, I have a few projects that I am currently playing with, that will, I am sure, keep me busy for a while.
Monika: Your experience must give you insight. What advice would you give to transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?
Samantha: Don't. That's it, don't. I did, it nearly killed me. Thankfully I am still here to write this. There were times when that very nearly was not the case. It's hard, it is very hard. It is probably the hardest thing that anyone can ever imagine having to deal with.
Monika: How can they seek support?
Samantha: Please do not suffer in silence. Help is readily at hand, if not from your GP, then from local or national support groups. People are so fundamentally understanding, society is accepting. With the right approach, there is no reason why anyone should lose out or suffer. Everyone has the right to be happy and live a content and fulfilled life. If you have questions about your gender identity, get them answered. If you are unable to find that answer totally from within, get expert help in having that answer sought. If you know the answer and want to push forward, do so.
Far too many people get old and reflect on their deathbeds about the lives they did not lead, the things they didn't do, and thoughts of what it would have been like if only they had. You only get one chance at this life; live it the way you NEED to and not how others may tell you to.
Monika: Samantha, thank you so much for sharing your story today!
Samantha: You are very welcome.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Samantha Collins.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
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