Samantha Collins is a British criminal lawyer, lecturer, devoted mother, and happily married partner who has become a powerful example of authenticity and resilience. In her mid-forties, Samantha is the proud parent of six children from two marriages and has been in a loving relationship with her wife for fifteen years. She is open about being trans, though she does not let that define her, viewing it as simply one part of who she is, no different in her eyes than having blue eyes or being blonde. Having transitioned at 43, Samantha has navigated the journey with honesty and courage, embracing both her personal and professional life with renewed clarity.
Beyond her career in law and teaching, Samantha has emerged as a thoughtful voice in the transgender community, aiming to show that transition can be a positive and fulfilling experience rather than one defined solely by struggle. Her commitment to openness at home has strengthened her family bonds, while her engagement in local politics and public speaking reflects her belief that visibility, representation, and quiet strategic action can drive meaningful change. Known for her practical advice, her support for others starting their transition, and her grounded perspective on life, Samantha embodies the balance of professional achievement, family devotion, and personal authenticity, offering inspiration to anyone seeking to live fully as themselves.
Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Samantha Collins, a British criminal lawyer, a happy wife, and a mother. Hello Samantha!
Samantha: Hello, thank you for wanting to speak with me.
Monika: For readers who are meeting you for the first time, could you tell us a little about yourself?
Samantha: Well, what is there to say. I'm in my mid-forties, I have six children from two marriages. I'm with a lovely, caring woman who I have been with now for fifteen years. I'm a lawyer and a lecturer in law, and oh, I'm transsexual. Sorry, I don't really let that define me.
Samantha: Well, what is there to say. I'm in my mid-forties, I have six children from two marriages. I'm with a lovely, caring woman who I have been with now for fifteen years. I'm a lawyer and a lecturer in law, and oh, I'm transsexual. Sorry, I don't really let that define me.
Monika: You’ve spoken very openly about how you see your identity. How do you personally define what being trans means to you?
Samantha: I'm a person, a parent, and a partner first. Being trans to me is no real difference to being blond or having blue eyes. It's a part of me, but it's not ME. That said, I transitioned a year ago, everything went fantastically. Home life was superb, work was really supportive, and my friends and family were absolute rocks.
Monika: Recently you have been featured in the British media as a positive example of transition. What made you decide to step into the public eye?
Samantha: There was a lot of media coverage regarding a few reasonably high-profile people coming out as trans. This was reported with, as is more often the case, hype and sensationalism.
Samantha: I'm a person, a parent, and a partner first. Being trans to me is no real difference to being blond or having blue eyes. It's a part of me, but it's not ME. That said, I transitioned a year ago, everything went fantastically. Home life was superb, work was really supportive, and my friends and family were absolute rocks.
Monika: Recently you have been featured in the British media as a positive example of transition. What made you decide to step into the public eye?
Samantha: There was a lot of media coverage regarding a few reasonably high-profile people coming out as trans. This was reported with, as is more often the case, hype and sensationalism.
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| Samantha finally looking happy in her own skin. |
Monika: Listening to media narratives about transition, it sounds like something important was missing for you.
Samantha: Notwithstanding the coming out stories, I felt there was still a message that was being missed. A lot of transition and coming out stories focused on the negative, on the hardship and suffering. Don't get me wrong, I would never diminish that side of things, as it is very real and affects almost everyone to one extent or another, but I wanted to show people that it's not always doom and gloom.
I wanted to reach out to professional people who are fearful of coming out through the fear of losing everything, to show that it can be OK, it can work out how you hope it will, and life post-transition doesn't have to be radically different.
Monika: Take me back to that moment at home. Telling your wife must have been intense.
Samantha: Initially, shock. I think the first thing she did was run to the bathroom to throw up. Seriously. As she said in the paper, she was relieved. My absence from our marriage and family, my constant being away for nights on end, the skincare regime, etc.
In her mind, it all pointed to me having an affair, to there being another woman. Well, I suppose there was, to a certain degree. Her reaction knocked me a little, as I had prepared myself for the prospect of potentially losing everything. She just said I am who I am and I'll never be able to change that.
Monika: Your children clearly took this in their own way.
Samantha: They have all been just amazing. We have four, two girls and two boys. I also have twin boys from my first marriage who are eighteen now, so six in total, and they have all been so understanding and supportive. My youngest had a few issues, as did our eldest daughter, who was convinced my partner and I would split. We gave them lots of reassurance and they accepted that we are in this for the long haul.
Samantha: Notwithstanding the coming out stories, I felt there was still a message that was being missed. A lot of transition and coming out stories focused on the negative, on the hardship and suffering. Don't get me wrong, I would never diminish that side of things, as it is very real and affects almost everyone to one extent or another, but I wanted to show people that it's not always doom and gloom.
I wanted to reach out to professional people who are fearful of coming out through the fear of losing everything, to show that it can be OK, it can work out how you hope it will, and life post-transition doesn't have to be radically different.
Monika: Take me back to that moment at home. Telling your wife must have been intense.
Samantha: Initially, shock. I think the first thing she did was run to the bathroom to throw up. Seriously. As she said in the paper, she was relieved. My absence from our marriage and family, my constant being away for nights on end, the skincare regime, etc.
In her mind, it all pointed to me having an affair, to there being another woman. Well, I suppose there was, to a certain degree. Her reaction knocked me a little, as I had prepared myself for the prospect of potentially losing everything. She just said I am who I am and I'll never be able to change that.
Monika: Your children clearly took this in their own way.
Samantha: They have all been just amazing. We have four, two girls and two boys. I also have twin boys from my first marriage who are eighteen now, so six in total, and they have all been so understanding and supportive. My youngest had a few issues, as did our eldest daughter, who was convinced my partner and I would split. We gave them lots of reassurance and they accepted that we are in this for the long haul.
Monika: At home, it sounds like openness became a real anchor for all of you.
Samantha: As a family, we discuss everything. We're quite old-fashioned and have all our meals around the dining room table. We have a forum daily to chat and discuss things. This allows us to address early any fears or doubts any of us have. The girls love the fact that I help them with their nails and hair and have someone who doesn't mind simply wandering around clothing shops. The boys were concerned about what they should call me.
Monika: And when that naming question came up?
Samantha: I just said it's up to them. They knew when my name was changed and sometimes they call me Sam and sometimes dad. Being called dad is more of an issue for others than it is for any of us. Let's face it, I am and always will be. It does tend to turn some heads at times. All in all, they are just happy that I'm more present and taking a more active part in their lives, more so than I think I ever did. My dysphoria and associated depression pulled me away from my family, and it's just great to be back and to be with them all.
Samantha: As a family, we discuss everything. We're quite old-fashioned and have all our meals around the dining room table. We have a forum daily to chat and discuss things. This allows us to address early any fears or doubts any of us have. The girls love the fact that I help them with their nails and hair and have someone who doesn't mind simply wandering around clothing shops. The boys were concerned about what they should call me.
Monika: And when that naming question came up?
Samantha: I just said it's up to them. They knew when my name was changed and sometimes they call me Sam and sometimes dad. Being called dad is more of an issue for others than it is for any of us. Let's face it, I am and always will be. It does tend to turn some heads at times. All in all, they are just happy that I'm more present and taking a more active part in their lives, more so than I think I ever did. My dysphoria and associated depression pulled me away from my family, and it's just great to be back and to be with them all.
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| Samantha, her partner Stacy and their amazing children. |
Monika: Britain has changed a lot over the years. How would you describe the place of transgender women in society today?
Samantha: Transgender people, not just women, are becoming ever more visible and as such are being accepted more than at any other time in our past. Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Nikki Sinclair, to name just a few, have done wonders for bringing trans people into the public conscience.
More recently, we have had a number of higher-profile transgender women coming out publicly. Kelly Maloney and Stephanie Hurst have been so public about their transition, I think this has really raised the profile of transgender people everywhere. It just seems that it's no longer an issue to be trans and be public.
Life is full of opportunities, and I think we have, for the most part, been privileged by these. This is our time, and society is, for the most part, accepting of that.
Monika: Your professional life must have given you a unique perspective. How do you see opportunities for transgender people in different fields?
Samantha: I work as a lawyer and a teacher. I have friends who have transitioned and work as anything from lorry drivers to shop owners, operating theatre staff, and police officers. I don't think, given the social acceptance and the legal protection we enjoy, that there is anything we can't be 100% accepted into. This year it's my intention to stand for local government, certainly a prospect that would most definitely not have been available to me even ten years ago.
Samantha: Transgender people, not just women, are becoming ever more visible and as such are being accepted more than at any other time in our past. Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Nikki Sinclair, to name just a few, have done wonders for bringing trans people into the public conscience.
More recently, we have had a number of higher-profile transgender women coming out publicly. Kelly Maloney and Stephanie Hurst have been so public about their transition, I think this has really raised the profile of transgender people everywhere. It just seems that it's no longer an issue to be trans and be public.
Life is full of opportunities, and I think we have, for the most part, been privileged by these. This is our time, and society is, for the most part, accepting of that.
Monika: Your professional life must have given you a unique perspective. How do you see opportunities for transgender people in different fields?
Samantha: I work as a lawyer and a teacher. I have friends who have transitioned and work as anything from lorry drivers to shop owners, operating theatre staff, and police officers. I don't think, given the social acceptance and the legal protection we enjoy, that there is anything we can't be 100% accepted into. This year it's my intention to stand for local government, certainly a prospect that would most definitely not have been available to me even ten years ago.
Monika: When did you first realise who you were?
Samantha: I had known from about the age of seven or eight but managed to keep it all hidden until it got to a point where I could simply go on no longer. I eventually transitioned at the age of 43. Stupidly, given the reception I received, the support, understanding, acceptance, and encouragement shown to me, the hardest point was coming out to my wife. I feared, as is often the case, that she would not accept me and I would, as a result, lose so much.
Monika: And what made that moment especially difficult for you?
Samantha: In the run-up to coming out, you hear so many stories of people losing absolutely everything that you become conditioned to expect that. When I had come out to my wife, then of twelve years, the rest was easy. Work, family, and friends have all been great. I only regret not telling my wife sooner and the years of enjoyment and clarity of being really myself that I missed out on. That said, I have lived a very varied and full life, so I have had a lot of experiences to draw on that I otherwise may not have had the benefit of.
Samantha: I had known from about the age of seven or eight but managed to keep it all hidden until it got to a point where I could simply go on no longer. I eventually transitioned at the age of 43. Stupidly, given the reception I received, the support, understanding, acceptance, and encouragement shown to me, the hardest point was coming out to my wife. I feared, as is often the case, that she would not accept me and I would, as a result, lose so much.
Monika: And what made that moment especially difficult for you?
Samantha: In the run-up to coming out, you hear so many stories of people losing absolutely everything that you become conditioned to expect that. When I had come out to my wife, then of twelve years, the rest was easy. Work, family, and friends have all been great. I only regret not telling my wife sooner and the years of enjoyment and clarity of being really myself that I missed out on. That said, I have lived a very varied and full life, so I have had a lot of experiences to draw on that I otherwise may not have had the benefit of.
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| Biggles the dog. |
Monika: When you were preparing for your own transition, where did you look for guidance or inspiration?
Samantha: At the time of my transition, apart from having read a couple of books, generally written by what appeared to be accepting but not overly understanding partners of women who had undergone transition.
YouTube was a fantastic resource and allowed me to tap into the experience and knowledge of others around the world who had gone through a transition, the good and the bad.
My real role models, however, were some of the girls at a local support group I attended, girls who had transitioned, some recently, some decades ago, but all who were full of support, wise words, and a shoulder when needed.
Monika: Of all those experiences, which proved the most important to you personally?
Samantha: As I said before, I think the hardest part was opening up to my wife, the person who I loved more than anyone else in the world and who I feared losing. Everything after that was a breeze.
Samantha: At the time of my transition, apart from having read a couple of books, generally written by what appeared to be accepting but not overly understanding partners of women who had undergone transition.
YouTube was a fantastic resource and allowed me to tap into the experience and knowledge of others around the world who had gone through a transition, the good and the bad.
My real role models, however, were some of the girls at a local support group I attended, girls who had transitioned, some recently, some decades ago, but all who were full of support, wise words, and a shoulder when needed.
Monika: Of all those experiences, which proved the most important to you personally?
Samantha: As I said before, I think the hardest part was opening up to my wife, the person who I loved more than anyone else in the world and who I feared losing. Everything after that was a breeze.
Monika: Looking beyond individual stories, do you see transgender rights as a defining human rights issue of our time?
Samantha: Well, I think it's certainly going in that direction. The 2010 Equality Act placed being transgender on an equal footing with race, sex, and disability as far as discrimination goes. This has greatly enhanced the protection afforded to transgender people, not just in the workplace but in all areas and across society, from accessing appropriate health care to easing issues in securing housing or public services.
Samantha: Well, I think it's certainly going in that direction. The 2010 Equality Act placed being transgender on an equal footing with race, sex, and disability as far as discrimination goes. This has greatly enhanced the protection afforded to transgender people, not just in the workplace but in all areas and across society, from accessing appropriate health care to easing issues in securing housing or public services.
Monika: How does the UK compare internationally when it comes to recognising transgender rights?
Samantha: Certainly in the UK, we are far more advanced than in many other countries with respect to the acknowledgment of transgender rights. It's by no means utopia, and we still have a long way to go before there is no distinction between a transgender person and someone who isn't, but I truly think society is quickly moving towards a position of inclusion and acceptance without question.
Samantha: Certainly in the UK, we are far more advanced than in many other countries with respect to the acknowledgment of transgender rights. It's by no means utopia, and we still have a long way to go before there is no distinction between a transgender person and someone who isn't, but I truly think society is quickly moving towards a position of inclusion and acceptance without question.
Monika: Popular culture plays a huge role in shaping perceptions. How do you feel transgender lives are being portrayed today?
Samantha: We are seeing a lot more representation of trans people that is representative of the actual trans experience. Unfortunately, the red tops and daytime TV still have a tendency to sensationalize people's coming out and transition and rely far too much on clichéd stories and headlines.
There have been a number of fantastic dramatic representations in film recently, including "Transparent" on Amazon and "Boy Meets Girl". We have also had a transgender cast member featuring on TOWIE. Certainly, the move away from the old-style representation of transgender people being either a joke character or some form of a trickster is making the visibility of actual transgender people a lot easier.
Monika: Within the broader LGBT movement, where do you see the transgender community fitting today?
Samantha: It's getting there, slowly. What struck me was the actual lack of inclusion and, at times, outright segregation within the LGBT communities. It does certainly seem as though the T was just added on in order to give us somewhere to go.
Having tried in the past to integrate into some of the local and not-so-local LGBT communities, only to be met with, at times, outright prejudice, I can see why a lot of trans people don't bother, as they tend to keep to somewhat closed groups and look within for support and direction. It's a shame, but I don't really know that it will be relevant for much longer.
Samantha: We are seeing a lot more representation of trans people that is representative of the actual trans experience. Unfortunately, the red tops and daytime TV still have a tendency to sensationalize people's coming out and transition and rely far too much on clichéd stories and headlines.
There have been a number of fantastic dramatic representations in film recently, including "Transparent" on Amazon and "Boy Meets Girl". We have also had a transgender cast member featuring on TOWIE. Certainly, the move away from the old-style representation of transgender people being either a joke character or some form of a trickster is making the visibility of actual transgender people a lot easier.
Monika: Within the broader LGBT movement, where do you see the transgender community fitting today?
Samantha: It's getting there, slowly. What struck me was the actual lack of inclusion and, at times, outright segregation within the LGBT communities. It does certainly seem as though the T was just added on in order to give us somewhere to go.
Having tried in the past to integrate into some of the local and not-so-local LGBT communities, only to be met with, at times, outright prejudice, I can see why a lot of trans people don't bother, as they tend to keep to somewhat closed groups and look within for support and direction. It's a shame, but I don't really know that it will be relevant for much longer.
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| Samantha takes a casual approach to fashion. |
Monika: With society changing so quickly, do you think the transgender movement will need to keep fighting for its own space, or will acceptance become the norm?
Samantha: I think the way society is becoming more and more accepting every day, the need for specific groups will be negated. It's as unlawful to discriminate against someone because they are a foreign alien as it is to discriminate against someone on the grounds that they are either homosexual, lesbian, or transgender. I just see we are all becoming so ingrained into society that the difference is becoming transparent.
That said, there is now so much transparency and representation in both the media and within society that being trans is now not much more radical than having a tattoo or dying your hair blond. As such, we don't, I think, necessarily need to be pursuing a cause as such, other than just trying to make the world, in general, a better place, to look collectively after our health and strive to ensure our planet survives for future generations.
Monika: Thinking about leadership in activism, do we have a figure in the UK transgender community today who reminds you of Harvey Milk in the USA?
Samantha: Certainly, we are following on the shoulders of giants such as Milk, who fought for rights and inclusion before us. We are so lucky to be living in an age when human rights are pervasive throughout almost every facet of our lives, that the need for those maverick activists operating even as recently as the '90s is no longer as relevant as it once was.
I'm of the opinion that Paris Lees is as near to being like the old-style activists as we have in the UK at the moment. Others operate more quietly, seeking change and reform from within systems, parliament, and business, and do this without social, political, or public recognition.
Monika: How important do you think these quieter efforts are compared with public activism?
Samantha: I think they are incredibly important. Many lasting changes come from strategic, behind-the-scenes work. Public recognition is wonderful, but the real structural shifts often happen quietly, within institutions, policies, and practices.
That said, there is now so much transparency and representation in both the media and within society that being trans is now not much more radical than having a tattoo or dying your hair blond. As such, we don't, I think, necessarily need to be pursuing a cause as such, other than just trying to make the world, in general, a better place, to look collectively after our health and strive to ensure our planet survives for future generations.
Monika: Thinking about leadership in activism, do we have a figure in the UK transgender community today who reminds you of Harvey Milk in the USA?
Samantha: Certainly, we are following on the shoulders of giants such as Milk, who fought for rights and inclusion before us. We are so lucky to be living in an age when human rights are pervasive throughout almost every facet of our lives, that the need for those maverick activists operating even as recently as the '90s is no longer as relevant as it once was.
I'm of the opinion that Paris Lees is as near to being like the old-style activists as we have in the UK at the moment. Others operate more quietly, seeking change and reform from within systems, parliament, and business, and do this without social, political, or public recognition.
Monika: How important do you think these quieter efforts are compared with public activism?
Samantha: I think they are incredibly important. Many lasting changes come from strategic, behind-the-scenes work. Public recognition is wonderful, but the real structural shifts often happen quietly, within institutions, policies, and practices.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Samantha Collins.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
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