Monika: How would you describe the role that love has played in shaping your life and happiness?
Vicki: Love for me is very important. Since I graduated from college in 1975, I have never really been alone for more than a few months. Not sharing my life with someone I love is something that I cannot imagine. I have been legally married to Lynda now for nearly six years. She is also an MTF transgender woman. I honestly thought I was going to be with a man, but like many trans women, I fell in love with another trans woman.
Although my sex drive has diminished greatly since my surgery, I need the closeness, trust, and communication that a relationship brings. Also, I am very fortunate to still be very close to both of my children and grandchildren. I love them and my wife more than anything. They have accepted and supported my transition more than I could have hoped. I am very close to my father as well. He has been incredible throughout my transition, and he continues to be. I call him every day. Love, in all its forms, gives me strength and keeps me grounded.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Are there any particular colors, designers, or fashion choices you gravitate toward in your everyday life?
Vicki: I am not one who desires a flashy fashion statement. I tend to want to blend in and not draw attention. I wear dresses on fancy occasions, but for my daily work, I generally wear skirts and blouses, and living in San Diego, most of my shoes are sandals.
That being said, I do want to look good and professional, so I buy most of my clothes at Nordstrom. I wear black a lot and tend to favor solid bright colors for my blouses. I rarely wear jewelry except for earrings. I feel naked without them. Comfort and confidence are the main things I look for when choosing what to wear.
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| As Steve with her two children 35 years ago. |
Monika: Many transgender women choose to share their journeys through memoirs. Have you ever considered writing your own, perhaps as a way to inspire others or document your experience in a creative way?
Vicki: Not really. It has been suggested to me, but I do not think my story is that unique that it would be of interest to non-trans people, unless I can put a very unique twist and focus on it… something that has not been done before. I suppose linking my transition to my music, my designs, and my civic volunteerism might be a direction I could take. If I do ever write it, I’d want it to be more than just a personal journey, it would need to offer something meaningful to a broader audience.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Vicki: I have not regretted my decision to transition for one minute. People used to call me “sad Stevie” because I always seemed so sad. Interestingly though, I was never really depressed and never had suicidal feelings. I do not like to lose, and that would really be losing.
No one, including me, knew why I always seemed so sad. I know now why, but those days are gone! I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER. My personal life, my work, my music, and my tendency to want to make the world a better place for all keep me going. Every day feels like a new opportunity to embrace joy and purpose in my life.
Monika: Vicki, thank you for the interview!
END OF PART 2
All photos: courtesy of Vicki Estrada.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
Some documentaries with Vicki Estrada:
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