Interview with Therese Wonnacott - Part 2

Monika: What would you say was the most difficult part of coming out? 

Therese: The hardest part was the pain it caused my mother. She was the last in my family to accept me. When she finally did, she became my advocate whenever family or her community did not understand. That shift in her support meant the world to me.

Monika: Within the broader LGBT community, do you feel the transgender cause has been able to stand on its own?

Therese: For many years the transgender community were treated as the stepchildren of their world. I remember when drag queens were not even allowed in a gay bar, except on a slow night. Many added the T to LGBT just to be politically correct. It continues today, not as bad as in the past 40 years, but it continues. Even so, we have made progress, and I believe our voices are stronger than ever.

Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people have been represented in films, books, and news stories over the years?

Therese: My feelings are mixed. The good thing is that people are starting to be educated about who we are, and they are listening to our stories. This is positive because it opens conversations and encourages understanding. The bad thing is that right-wing Christians continue to spread hate among my brothers and sisters. Even with progress, there is still a long way to go for true acceptance and equality.
Monika: Have you ever been involved in activism or lobbying to support transgender rights, and how do you see the role of transgender women in politics?

Therese: I have been living away from the transgender community for 35 years, living as a biological woman. In 2002, I started attending an Asian and Pacific Islander transwomen support group in San Francisco. My weekly appearances encouraged many mahuwahines to start attending the group, and many asked me for advice, which is how I became known as Aunty Anita. Being able to guide others gave me a deep sense of purpose and connection.

 

With Dan.

 

Monika: Did you take on any mentorship roles within the community during that time?

Therese: A few years later, I adopted two young transwomen as my daughters in the House of Lee Sei. I mentored them to become leaders in the trans world of color. I have also mentored many transwomen to pursue higher education, and now many of them have earned master’s or doctoral degrees. Seeing them succeed has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Monika: After years of activism, how do you participate in the community today? 

Therese: I got involved in serving trans sisters of color as a community health educator and started speaking at high schools and universities in the San Francisco Bay area. I also encouraged others to get involved with their rights as trans people. I have been fully retired since March 2015, so I have stepped back and left most responsibilities to the younger generation. However, I am selective with my public appearances in the LGBT world of the Bay Area, and if I am asked to speak or attend a support group for trans women of color, I always make the effort to be there. My connection to the community remains strong even in retirement.

Monika: Love is such an important part of life. How would you describe its role in your personal journey?

Therese: For many years, I was looking for love in the wrong places and with the wrong men. I was attracted to bad boys because I found nice guys boring. One day, I took a chance on a sweet, geeky guy who worshiped the ground I walked on. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes, but I decided not to tell him that I was trans, ready to keep that secret for life. Those early lessons taught me a lot about patience, trust, and the value of choosing carefully in love.

Monika: How did your relationship evolve after you shared your truth with him?

Therese: In 2004, I came out to him, and I am lucky that he loves me unconditionally. Now we are both retired, and it is wonderful being together twenty-four seven. He is my soul mate, and I am so fortunate to have found true love. This year we will celebrate twenty-five years of marriage, and every day together reminds me of the strength and joy that love brings.

 

With her soul-mate.

 

Monika: Are there any new projects or creative endeavors you are working on these days?

Therese: Yes, I have written a digital Hawaiian recipes cookbook, and I plan to have a hard copy available for sale before the year is over. I will also be working on my second cookbook as well as a book about my life. As a former pageant promoter, I have many crowns, and now I sponsor crowns for a pageant in American Samoa called Miss SOFIAS. The SOFIAS is a non-profit organization composed of Samoan transgender women, many of whom are teachers, business owners, and government employees. Besides mentoring transwomen, they raise money for numerous community causes. Seeing these young women grow and thrive gives me immense joy and pride.

Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria or finding their path?

Therese: I would suggest joining a local transgender support group and taking advantage of the many online resources available. You are not alone, and connecting with others who understand your experiences can be life-changing. Reaching out and finding a supportive community can make all the difference in feeling empowered and confident.

Monika: Therese, thank you so much for sharing your time and your story with me.

Therese: Thank you, Monika! It has been a pleasure to share my journey, and I hope it inspires others to live authentically and bravely.

END OF PART 2

Back to PART 1

 

All photos: courtesy of Therese Wonnacott.

© 2016 - Monika Kowalska