Monika: You came out later in life and already had an established career. Did you ever have the experience of going through a job interview as a woman?
Zeline: I have never had a job interview as a woman. I came out late, and I already had the work I have now, so everything worked out just fine, and I’m really happy that it did.
Monika: For transgender women who are looking for work, what would you say is the best way to approach the job-search and interview process?
Zeline: If you already live as a woman, just go to the interview and be yourself. I know it’s hard for some transgender people to do that because they worry about how they will be perceived, so they feel insecure and scared. I guess that I would be afraid too if I had to apply for a new job. It takes a lot of courage, and that can be hard, but the only advice I can give is to be yourself and be proud of who you are, as the only thing that can happen is to get a "no". This is the worst scenario, but this can happen to anyone.
In Sweden, in most cases, we have to include a personal letter together with the job application, so the company already knows the basic things about the applicant. This is a perfect opportunity to explain who you are, if you feel that you need to say that before an interview, of course.
Monika: Outside of your personal transition, are you currently connected in any way with the local LGBTQ community?
Zeline: No, I’m not involved, but if I get the chance to be a part of that in some way, I’m open to it, as I feel I have the time outside of my ordinary work.
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| "I feel much better when I have someone to love and that someone loves me back." |
Monika: You speak very warmly about your relationship. What does having someone to love, and to be loved by, mean to you?
Zeline: I feel much better when I have someone to love and that someone loves me back. Life is easier if you live with someone else, anyway, at least for me. For example, you are there for each other no matter what, you care about each other, support each other, go to bed together, wake up together, and do all the things you usually do together. It is a really comfortable feeling for me, compared to being lonely and depressed.
Love is the spark that keeps me going. When I find the right person, I must feel closeness so I can feel safe and secure. When I’m alone, I just feel worried and anxious. So love is very important to me to feel good about myself. My wife is the love of my life, and without a doubt, it is the best I’ve ever had. She’s also transgender, so we both understand and support each other, and she has also been a big help to me in my own transition and “coming out” process.
Monika: You have lived through many experiences that could make a fascinating story. Have you ever considered putting your life and transition into a memoir?
Zeline: I have had that in mind, but I don’t know if I will ever do that. I’ve been asked that question before, but like you say, many transgender people have done that already. I don’t think I will seek a publisher myself, but if someone asked me, I would be open to it.
Monika: Let’s look ahead. What are you hoping to achieve next, and what kind of life would you like to have five or seven years from now?
Zeline: I really want to undergo a Brazilian butt lift surgery soon. It’s just about the money, so I’ll see when it will happen. I hope by that time I will still be healthy and my body will be in good shape because I don’t have so many years left to feel good about myself. I really have age paranoia, especially because I waited way too many years to begin my transition.
I also hope my wife and I will still be together and happy and love each other, and that we will move to the Philippines. The plan is to build a nice house there in the near future so we can relax and enjoy our life together and forever.
Monika: You have experienced firsthand what it feels like to postpone your transition for many years. What would you say to transgender women who are still afraid to take that first step?
Zeline: I really recommend doing it as soon as possible. Try to get over the fear and begin life as it should be because it will make you so much happier and so much more peaceful in the mind. It really makes the stone fall from your chest, believe me, I’ve been there. The real good friends will stay and support you, and all the fake ones will leave you, but you don't need them anyway.
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| "Try to get over the fear and begin life as it should be because it will make you so much happier and so much more peaceful in the mind." |
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame once wrote to me that we should never limit our potential because of how we were born or because of what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. How does that idea resonate with you?
Zeline: I think that every transition is different, and it is up to every single person. We all decide how far we will go in the process. All people are different and we can’t all be the same. We all have different dreams about this, and we do not have to limit ourselves because of what another trans woman is doing. Just walk your own path. It’s your life, your body, your dreams, and your inner feelings that lead the way.
Monika: Zeline, thank you for sharing so many personal and honest parts of your journey with me. It has been a real pleasure to talk to you.
Zeline: Thank you too, Monika.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Zeline Del Rosario.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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