In my spare time, I am an avid badminton player and currently playing for my county, Dorset. I am the second transsexual person to have ever been allowed to compete as a woman by the governing body in England.
To my astonishment, I had a lot of interest and compliments from fabulously supportive people around the world. In response to this, I decided to post further videos to share my story, entertain, inspire and help others.
Like most transsexuals though, I am never fully satisfied with my appearance and will continue to take hormones and seek greater femininity.
The feeling of being a girl at that time felt quite natural to me. I still remained as a gay boy though as I knew that my parents would not accept me as a girl, let alone a gay, so I didn’t have the courage to come out to them. Gradually through academic achievement, they came to accept my sexuality as a gay guy but I knew at the time they would still not accept me as a transsexual.
|Nicole and her Partner on their first date.|
I therefore did not face the same issues as many do. My parents were still my biggest concern but they accepted me as they saw my success and were proud of what I had achieved. Despite some tears being shed, they realised that inside I was still their loving child at heart and had a strength to set my own destiny.
By doing so, it shows that they are interesting unique people just like all of us. Like many from the Philippines, I adore beauty pageants. There have been several TS who have had great achievements in these pageants and two that I look up to are Maki Eve Mercedes and Bee Urgello who are also LGBT advocates and helping make the world a better place for people like us.
My greatest role-model though is my best friend Camile, who I call my adopted mother. Not only is she a beautiful post-op, my parents know her personally. They saw through her, that a transsexual could also be a success in their chosen field, as she became a registered nurse in the USA. She unknowingly helped me come out to them and for that has my gratitude.
Monika: What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
At this time, I was already living life as a woman and most of my fellow badminton players had no idea of my gender. I had great difficulty in turning down offers of competition and partnership. This meant I often had to make excuses and lie. Eventually, my coach discovered my sexuality through my YouTube channel.
Since then, he has been very supportive though, accepted me and kept my gender confidential. Badminton England then confirmed that they would allow me to play as a woman after a series of lengthy panel meetings and discussions with my doctor. Since their decision, I have been competing in the leagues, have entered tournaments and have built up a good rapport with my teammates.
|Nicole on her wedding day, May 20,2013.|
In the UK there are much better anti-discrimination laws and civil partnerships. Both countries are on a slow journey to becoming better but there is a long way to go.
I feel that it will be some time to wait until transsexuals are viewed in the same way as heterosexual majority. Until then, we will still have to endure being labelled and singled-out in a negative manner.
There are other prolific trans celebrities in the Philippines. Vice Ganda hosts many popular TV shows and was in the highest grossing movie of all time in the country. She is a personal favourite of mine. Many transsexuals like her are comedians or singers and are therefore seen by many.
In the UK, I look up to Kate Craig-Wood who is a successful entrepreneur and business leader. She has through her business achievements has had many television and radio appearances. She also became the first woman to tandem skydive past Everest. Unlike the Philippines, the trend in the UK is for transsexuals like her to come in to notoriety ‘under the radar’.
|Her day to day make-up.|
Politics may be slow in the UK and often boring to me but I am confident it is moving in the right direction for the LGBT community in the long term. We are even lucky enough to have had some transgender politicians such as Sarah Brown and Jenny Bailey.
More often than not, I wear more casual ‘street fashion’ such as skinny jeans and sexy tops. I really like some of the designers such as Herve Leger bandage dresses, Gucci jewellery and Kurt Geiger shoes. I have a small collection of such items like my beloved Dior & Gucci flat shoes and my Louis Vuitton & Gucci handbags. I can’t really afford these though so many have to wait on my shopping list!
I believe that such pageants not only show the public that transgender people can be very beautiful but they can also act as an aspiration and achievement for some transgender people. Simply to take part in one would be a huge achievement and honour for me as it would show that I have the confidence to present myself and be judged. I have therefore set participating in one as a personal goal.
|Her first make-up as a Transgirl, done by her friend.|
My personal advice to all of them is to take some time to breath and then establish a support network of like-minded people who have been through the journey already. This can be done online through forums or through local support groups, preferably making some good friends through the process.
I believe that no one person can fully give you the advice and support you need and therefore getting collective support and range of views is invaluable in helping you make decisions and tackle the challenges you face. It was undoubtedly my transsexual friends, supporters and loving partner that helped me the most. That is why I feel like I want to help give back to others who are in the early stages of going through the same journey.
Much of this though is what most people face and thankfully most of the big issues of transition are behind me. In getting this far though, I want to act as a support others going through their transition and act as a role-model.