There are voices that not only tell their truth but echo the strength, vulnerability, and grace of an entire generation. Donna Rose is one such voice. A pioneering transgender advocate, author, athlete, and IT consultant, Donna has lived her truth with unapologetic authenticity since 1997. Her life has unfolded as both a quiet revolution and a visible stand for dignity, equality, and human connection. Through her powerful 2003 memoir Wrapped in Blue: A Journey of Discovery, Donna opened a window into the inner life of a woman determined to live freely in a world still catching up. Her story has since inspired countless others who, like her, had long searched for a mirror of their own experience. But Donna has never settled for mere visibility. She stepped into advocacy with passion, serving on the boards of the Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, and the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and working tirelessly to ensure trans voices had a seat at the table.
In moments of disagreement, such as her principled resignation from HRC in 2007, she demonstrated the rare courage of standing by one's values. Beyond the podium and the boardroom, Donna is also an accomplished athlete. She competed in national wrestling championships and was honored at the Gay Games, proving once again that strength, emotional, intellectual, and physical, has always been her quiet hallmark. Yet what is perhaps most striking about Donna is not her résumé, but her heart. Whether advocating for trans youth, sharing hard-won lessons about love and transition, or reminding us that equality is still a dream we must fight for every day, she remains grounded in hope and deeply human insight. Today, I have the pleasure and honor of sitting down with this extraordinary woman to talk about the role of transgender women in American politics, culture, and society. Please meet Donna Rose.
Monika: Donna, thank you so much for joining me today. It’s an honor to speak with someone whose advocacy, athleticism, and literary voice have shaped how transgender lives are represented in public discourse. As a former Executive Director of the LGBT Community Center Coalition of Central Pennsylvania and a board member of national organizations like HRC, GLAAD, and the NGLCC, your work continues to resonate deeply. Your memoir Wrapped in Blue remains a powerful source of education and inspiration. I’m especially excited to talk with you about the evolving role of transgender women in American politics, culture, and society. Let’s dive in, hello Donna!
Donna: Hi Monika. I appreciate the opportunity to chat with you today. I'm always happy to connect with a fellow transgender woman and have these important conversations. It’s encouraging to see trans voices leading dialogues like this one, and I’m looking forward to our discussion.
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| Delivering a speech. |
Monika: You've worn many hats over the years, as a professional, an advocate, and a leader in the community. Could you walk us through the key milestones in both your professional career and your work in advocacy? How have these different roles shaped your identity and purpose over time?
Donna: I’m not sure what career you’re asking about. In my “real” career I’m an IT consultant and have been working with Fortune 500 and DoD clients for the better part of the last 35 years. That’s my “career”, it pays my bills, it’s my profession, it’s where I spend half of my time.
In my “other” life I’ve described myself as a reluctant activist. Although I wouldn’t call that a career in the typical sense, at one point advocacy efforts were as important an element of my life as my career or anything else I did. I’ve spoken across the country, sat on influential boards, and used my voice to push for visibility and change. Both paths have challenged me in different ways, but together they reflect a fuller picture of who I am.
Monika: Many transgender advocates have long fought for basic human rights and inclusion. In your view, what are the most urgent goals on the transgender rights agenda today, and what continues to stand in the way of lasting progress? Donna: In my opinion, the trans advocacy “agenda” has always been a simple one: equality. We simply want to be able to live our lives, find happiness, and experience the broad spectrum of human emotions the same as everyone else. It’s that simple.
Monika: What specific areas of life remain the most unequal or precarious for transgender people in the U.S.? Donna: The list of battlefields where many of us do not have equality in this country is as long as it ever was: violence and harassment, the ability to get and keep a job, schools and youth issues, healthcare, communities of worship, homelessness, and the ability to serve in our armed forces. Then there’s the emotional toll, dealing with the loss of loved ones, isolation, and loneliness. The underlying issue is the ongoing stigma of mental illness and perversion that we’ve been struggling with for generations. The only way to make progress across the board is to push the culture change necessary to correct these misconceptions. The good news is that we’re making tremendous headway there. More people are listening, more allies are stepping forward, and the next generation seems far more open to embracing diversity.
Monika: Looking back, how would you assess the Obama administration’s approach to supporting and uplifting the transgender community? In what ways did his presidency influence the national conversation on trans rights?
Donna: I’m comfortable that the Obama administration was dedicated to the concept of full LGBT inclusion. They were on board with the fact that trans rights are human rights, and this was the first president for whom the word “transgender” rolled off his lips regularly and without hesitation. Whether it was hate crimes, military service, workplace protections, or simply a dedication to common decency, he never faltered. His administration set a precedent for visibility and affirmation that hadn’t existed before. It gave many of us a sense of hope that our voices were finally reaching the highest levels of government.
Monika: Advocacy in American politics often relies on coalitions and alliances to advance shared goals. How effective has the transgender community been in navigating this system to gain political traction?
Donna: Well, the transgender community, or rather, the transgender “communitIES”, would have little success if left to fend for itself. The thing that provides the leverage for our success is our inclusion under the broader LGBT umbrella. The LGB community is much larger, much more established, has developed many of the relationships necessary to establish political influence, and has provided the important “validation” for inclusion in broader LGBT initiatives.
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| Pre-transition life. |
Monika: Some argue that trans issues are too distinct to fit within the broader LGBT framework. How do you respond to that concern?
Donna: I realize that some feel the T has no business under that umbrella, but I am not one of those people. That would be cutting off your nose to spite your face. A far more effective approach is to recognize that we’re different, and that many of our needs are unique, but we must have a place at the table with bigger, stronger allies when policy and strategy are developed. The fact that we often do have that voice, at the highest levels, is indicative of success rather than failure. Is there still ground to cover? Of course. But we are far more active, organized, mobilized, engaged, and vocal today than we were a decade ago. We’ve learned how to frame our issues in ways that resonate politically, and our visibility continues to open doors that once seemed permanently shut.
Monika: Representation matters deeply when it comes to shifting public attitudes. How do you feel about the way transgender lives and experiences have been portrayed in mainstream media, literature, and film so far?
Donna: In my opinion, these depictions are a big reason for our successes in political and other broader societal forums. As I mentioned, I strongly believe that the key element for broader awareness and success is a cultural one, not a political one. Politics rarely outpaces the societal “comfort” that provides the cover to move social agendas. Often, that broader awareness comes through the various media you describe. For example, I’d argue that a key element to moving our society on gay and lesbian issues was the TV show Will and Grace.
Monika: Do you think the trans community has had a similar breakthrough moment in media visibility?
Monika: Do you think the trans community has had a similar breakthrough moment in media visibility?
Donna: That said, we have not yet had what I call our “Will and Grace” moment. We haven’t had the mainstream media visibility that catapulted their issues, their needs, and their humanity to new heights. Many recent popular media portrayals of trans characters are more realistic than decades-old stereotypes and are far more plentiful. Can things be improved? Of course. But I think the key is to recognize that we’re making progress, in large part because we’ve stopped being invisible and are much more active in telling our own stories. This visibility not only humanizes us, but also helps others realize that trans people are their neighbors, coworkers, and friends. It’s a powerful tool for bridging the gap between misunderstanding and empathy.
Monika: When you reflect on the everyday experiences of transgender women across the United States, from workplace inclusion to public perception, how would you describe the current state of affairs?
Donna: That’s a difficult question to answer because it’s such a broad one. The fact that the most significant single issue many of us deal with when we announce a workplace transition is a struggle to use the appropriate bathroom is indicative of deeper resentments and discomforts. It reveals how much of society still views our identities as something controversial or threatening. These struggles are rarely about bathrooms, they're about dignity, respect, and recognition. For many transgender women, just existing in public spaces comes with constant risk assessment and emotional labor. Still, despite these ongoing challenges, I believe our voices are louder and more unified than ever before.
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| During her transition. |
Monika: In the landscape of transgender advocacy today, do you see anyone whose impact could be compared to the legacy of Harvey Milk in the gay rights movement of the 60s and 70s?
Donna: Going back to what I’ve said before, I’d argue that some of the high-visibility “outings” in recent years have as much or more of an impact on trans “activism” than any trans political activist can or does. People like Chaz Bono force society to recognize that trans people are everywhere, that we’re more like them than different. We’ve got an army of people quietly getting involved and making a difference in political and activist roles across the country.
At the last Democratic National Conference, there were 7 trans delegates, which speaks volumes to our involvement and our effectiveness. Mara Keisling from NCTE is regularly invited to the White House as the face and the voice of the trans community at those lofty levels. I don’t know that we’ve seen our singular Harvey Milk yet, but I honestly don’t know that we need someone to become a martyr to gain that ground. The movement today is more decentralized, with many voices contributing to change rather than relying on a single iconic figure. That kind of collective leadership is powerful, and perhaps more sustainable in the long run.
Monika: When you were going through your transition, did you have any transgender role models you could look up to? Also, how much did you know about transgender identities at that time?
Donna: One of the things that prevented me from transitioning for a long, long time was NOT having a transgender role model. There were none. When Renee Richards jumped onto headlines across the world in the late 70s, it was a big moment for me.
Monika: How did things change for you as more information and stories became available?
Donna: The advent of the internet and access to what I’d call “success stories” of everyday people with whom I could identify played a huge role in the slow process of self-acceptance that’s necessary to make the huge decisions involved in the transition. There are a number of people who played huge roles in my transition but will probably never know.
When I found Andrea James’s FFS pages, it showed me that there was hope. When I found Beck Allison’s story, I found somebody who could articulate her feelings in a way that resonated with me. When I found Dr. Lynn Conway’s website, I found dozens of people who shared their humanity to help others. I owe all those pioneers a huge debt, and much of my own activism is my effort to pay their selflessness forward. Having those role models gave me the courage to embrace my identity and helped me understand that I was not alone. It also made me realize how important visibility and community support are for those coming up behind us.
Monika: What was the most difficult part of coming out as transgender for you? Were there different challenges along the way?
Donna: Actually, I think there were a couple of things that I’d say were hardest. One was self-acceptance. I had always felt so “normal,” and not having ever met a real-life trans person, I had nobody to use as a realistic role model. I had a difficult time seeing past the pejorative stigma that tainted the entire trans experience.
As far as I’m concerned, the transition process is more about quality of life and inner peace than it is about body parts or clothes, and it took me a long time to accept that transition and happiness were not mutually exclusive.
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| CNN Dialogues - Donna Rose. Source: YouTube. |
Monika: How did your family react when you eventually came out to them?
Donna: The other hardest part was coming out to my wife and son. They were the center of my world, and I was acutely aware of what would happen if or when I came out. It is that fear that kept me bottled up for decades. There is a quote I like: “Courage isn’t the absence of fear. Rather, it is the recognition that something else is more important than fear.”
At some point, I reached a stage where authenticity and hope were more important than the paralyzing fear I was experiencing. That’s what it took to overcome it and move forward. Looking back, I am grateful for their support, even though the process was difficult for all of us. Sharing my truth with them strengthened our bonds and helped me find a deeper sense of self-acceptance and peace.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Donna Rose.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
