Friday, February 7, 2014

Interview with Kerri Cecil

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To meet Kerri Cecil is to meet a woman who has walked through fire and chosen, time and again, to rise, camera in hand, heart wide open. Born in Southern California but raised in the conservative heart of rural Minnesota, Kerri’s journey has been shaped by both trauma and transformation. Today, she is not only a transgender activist and student at Los Angeles City College, but also a passionate filmmaker whose stories are steeped in survival, sisterhood, and a relentless belief in the power of love. Kerri’s debut short film, The Journey (2013), is more than a cinematic work, it is a reclamation of pain, a tribute to resilience, and a message to every transgender person who has ever been told they are unworthy. Her camera lens captures not only the darkness many of us know too well, homelessness, rejection, addiction, but also the light that emerges through community, hope, and artistic expression. 
 
Through documentaries like Transformed: Surviving the Darkside of Hollywood and upcoming thrillers like Wifi Killer, Kerri has created space for transgender voices in an industry that too often silences them. She is outspoken in her critique of Hollywood’s misrepresentations, yet equally committed to change, organizing protests, attending leadership summits, and mentoring others along the way. Her life partner, a loving man who sees her full brilliance, reminds her daily of what love can heal. Whether she’s standing on the steps of City Hall, collaborating with fellow trans artists, or simply wearing jeans and a cute top with quiet pride, Kerri leads with heart. Her activism is deeply personal, her artistry fiercely political, and her voice one we need in both film and the fight for justice. It is with immense respect and admiration that I welcome Kerri to this space. Her story, like her films, is a powerful reminder that even in the face of rejection, love always has the final word.
 
Monika: Today, I have the heartfelt pleasure and honour of introducing my guest, Kerri Cecil, a talented American film director, passionate transgender activist, and student at Los Angeles City College in Hollywood. Born in Southern California and raised in rural Minnesota within a conservative Christian family, Kerri has carved out a space for herself in the world of film with her powerful debut short, The Journey (2013). Kerri, welcome, it’s truly lovely to have you here!
Kerri: Hello Monika! Thank you so much for having me. It’s such a joy to be part of this beautiful collection of voices on your website. I’ve long admired the way you carry your transness with such grace, courage, and authenticity. You’ve paved the way for so many of us with your strength and storytelling. So being invited to speak with you here is not only an honour, it’s genuinely special to me.
 
Journey
"The Journey" (YouTube).
 
Monika: Let’s start by getting to know you better. How would you describe your journey so far, both as a filmmaker and as a transgender woman?
Kerri: Well, I am a transgender filmmaker making films that empower, educate, enlighten, as well as entertain. I see the beauty and power in all trans folks and work with incredibly talented transgender people to not only shed light on the darkness many of us suffer in, but to bring to the world a sense of who we are and where we are going in life.
Monika: Are there any filmmakers or performances that have especially inspired your creative vision and storytelling?
Kerri: I am a huge fan of Lana Wachowski’s work. I would love to one day make a transgender superhero film using her film techniques. I personally loved Harmony Santana in Gun Hill Road and love Laverne Cox in Orange Is the New Black.
Monika: Your short film The Journey is a powerful and symbolic portrayal of the challenges many transgender women face. What inspired you to tell this particular story?
Kerri: Yes, I am very proud of that little short film. It has an incredible cast of beautiful and talented transgender women. While it is about her journey into womanhood, it is also about love overcoming hate. Many of us trans folks have suffered so much hate, and the words of hate that the mother (Vaniity) yells at her young transgender child come from my own mother’s mouth.
This film was healing medicine for me. Many of us are thrown out to the streets as Mary (Emily Lucid) was. We end up homeless, and prostitution becomes a means of survival, which leads many of us to drug addiction, as it did for me for 20 years. In a sense, the film was a way for me to send a message to my mother and all parents out there who feel as mine does: don’t let it be in death that you finally realize that unconditional love is the only way. Love your children in this life before it's too late.
Monika: Your film features a compelling cast, including the well-known transgender adult film actress Vaniity in a dramatic role. How did you go about assembling such a unique team, and what was it like working with them?
Kerri: Well, Emily Lucid I met in one of my film classes at school. She is both an incredible actress as well as a filmmaker. Vaniity (who plays my transphobic mother) I met through an organization called The Emerging Leaders Academy, which is a life transformational group. She has been wanting for years to break into more mainstream acting, so she was excited to be in this film, as well as another film from a fellow film student friend of mine called I’m Still Here, I Love You, in which I was the cinematographer.
Shelbe Chang I met on Facebook. After seeing some of her work, I reached out to her, and she is a very driven actress and model. I cannot wait to work with all three again. Unfortunately, due to personal reasons, Vaniity will not be coming on board for Wifi Killer.

interview
At Plus This! Show (YouTube).

Monika: Your documentary Transformed – Surviving the Dark Side of Hollywood began production in 2013. What inspired you to tackle such a heavy and urgent topic, and what can viewers expect from the film?
Kerri: This film is a look inside the dark world of homelessness, prostitution, drugs, prison, disease, and violence many transgender women must survive, or die trying. As a survivor of the streets of Hollywood myself, I decided to make a documentary film that not only tells our stories of survival, but also of how we got off those mean streets, as well as sends a message about how we can prevent our trans youth from ending up in the same situation. Instead of focusing on only one trans woman’s experience, I have interviewed, as of today, eight. We will be releasing a trailer this summer, as well as a Kickstarter campaign.
Monika: You're also working on Wifi Killer, a suspenseful thriller featuring a diverse cast of transgender talent. What stage is the project in, and what can audiences expect from the film?
Kerri: Well, we are still in preproduction right now. Yes, I have an incredible cast so far, including trans men. I actually will be casting for the last starring role soon. I am looking for an African-American transgender woman to star as one of the detectives. This film is an intense thriller, a “who is the killer?” kind of movie, and just when you think you know who it is, well, you just might be wrong. This will be my first narrative feature film. I will be launching a Kickstarter campaign at the end of this year.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender characters and stories have been portrayed in mainstream media, including film, literature, and journalism?
Kerri: Other than Laverne Cox and Harmony Santana, it has been pretty bad in my opinion. Stereotype after stereotype. K-11 was simply horrible. I was extremely upset with Jared Leto’s portrayal in Dallas Buyers Club as well.
I think it is time for mainstream media to start hiring transgenders for transgender roles, and eventually roles as cisgender people. Equality in Hollywood! In fact, I am putting together a protest during the Academy Awards in Los Angeles because I feel we need to make a stand against Hollywood’s depiction of us and its constant overlooking of our talent.
 
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Monika: Looking back on the early days of your transition, were there any figures, public or personal, that inspired or guided you through the process?
Kerri: I transitioned in 1990 in my teens, so at that time we didn’t have many role models, especially in rural Minnesota, and it was all about living in stealth due to all the discrimination and violence that happened back then (and continues) if people found out. When I came to Hollywood in 1992, my role models were the transgender women who took me in and taught me how to survive. All of them are now dead from violence or disease.
Monika: Coming out can be a deeply personal and often challenging journey. What were some of the most difficult moments you faced during that time?
Kerri: My mother telling me I will rot in hell because I am an abomination and physically trying to beat the devil out of me. I was eventually removed from my mother’s home by child protection services and grew up in foster homes and homes for runaway kids.
Many of them let me express my fabulousness, so by the time I aged out of the system and went to see my mother as the woman I am today, it really didn’t go well. So I headed to Hollywood from Minnesota. Once here, I got wrapped up in the glamorousness and craziness of Santa Monica Blvd in Hollywood in the early ’90s. 
Monika: How would you describe the current situation of transgender women in American society?
Kerri: I think we are better off than we were 20 years ago, but we still have a long road ahead. Our young ones are still facing hatred from their families and being thrown to the streets, but we are starting to come together as a community, a safety net to catch them and prevent them from being pulled into a life of prostitution. Organizations like Friends Community Center in Hollywood are working with currently homeless transfolk to help get them into transgender-friendly shelters.
Monika: What about online and institutional support, are there positive developments in those areas too?
Kerri: We now have wonderful sites on the internet like the Transgender Housing Network, which helps those who fall through the cracks of the system and face discrimination. We still face employment discrimination, but things are starting to look better. Then of course, there is the violence. Transphobic crimes are on the rise, and that BS that happened with CeCe was just nuts!! So if I am attacked and become scared for my life, I can’t fight for my life? That’s just plain crazy to me! If she had lost, it would have been just another trans woman down to them. I can’t talk about the case much, but I have a friend here in Los Angeles fighting in court against the four men who attacked her, and they have the nerve to claim self-defense after they attacked her. Yeah, we still have a winding road ahead of us.
 
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Monika: Do you see transgender rights as the next major frontier in the global struggle for human rights?
Kerri: It is for sure. We are in the middle of a revolution of equality for transgender people the world over, and as has happened throughout history, when a marginalized people take a stand for equality, the hatemongers come out from hiding. We have lost so many of our people to hate, but we will not be deterred. We fight a just fight!
Monika: Have you been involved in political activism or advocacy work? In your view, how can transgender women influence political change?
Kerri: I am a believer that if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem. So I am very active in the fight against discrimination and hatred. We recently stood on the steps of Los Angeles City Hall, united with New York City, for justice for Islan Nettles, who was brutally murdered in Harlem, and for all victims of transphobic crimes. We may have been a small group, but they heard us chant: NOT ONE MORE, STOP KILLING US, JUSTICE FOR ISLAN… I also will be attending the 2014 Transgender Leadership Summit in April so I can meet with our movers and shakers and contribute to the cause. I love that we have become political and now have trans people on City Councils as well as in Washington. That is so inspiring to me!
Monika: How has love shaped your life and influenced your journey, both personally and professionally?
Kerri: Love is everything to me. Love drives my purpose. Love of our sisters and brothers, that I may dedicate my life to the betterment of our people. Love of myself, that I never have to go back to the darkness I once lived in. Love rocks!! I am in a long-term relationship with a wonderful, loving man who has helped lift me up and shown me that there is nothing I cannot achieve as long as I believe and am willing to do the work. Yeah, he is something else!!
Monika: Has fashion played a role in your self-expression or journey? How would you describe your current personal style?
Kerri: Well, I have always longed for the body to wear amazing fashions. I am happy today just wearing jeans and a cute top. I’m more focused on the inside today.
Monika: How do you feel about transgender beauty pageants and their role in our community, do you see them as empowering, or potentially problematic?
Kerri: We are all beautiful in our own way. While it can be empowering for the select few that were blessed with supermodel looks, I think along the lines of feminists, that focusing on our outsides as a society can lead to low self-esteem in our young. Scholarships and grants, to me, are a better way of empowering our future generations.
 
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Monika: Sharing personal stories can be incredibly powerful. Have you ever considered writing a memoir to reflect on your journey and inspire others?
Kerri: Maybe one day, once I have accomplished more in life.
Monika: For transgender girls currently facing gender dysphoria, self-doubt, or rejection, what words of advice or encouragement would you offer?
Kerri: It gets better, so just hold on and be true to yourself no matter what. There will be hard times, but there will also be times of such happiness that the hardships seem a distant memory. If there are people in your life that cannot deal with it and leave, well, that is their loss, love will always win in the end. I love each and every one of you!! Xoxoxo. United we stand, divided we fall, so reach out to each other… love and support each other, and we will be triumphant!
Monika: Kerri, thank you for the interview!

All the photos: courtesy of Kerri Cecil.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
  
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