Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honour to interview Debbie Ballard, an American IT architect consultant, writer, the author of the biographical books titled “Debbie's Secret Life: LGBT in Stealth” (2013), and “Living in Stealth: Undercover (2015)”. Debbie was also a leader in the commercialization of the Internet (1992-1996), Linux and Open Source (1996-2004), Globalization (2004-2013). Hello Debbie!
This was a book intended to show people that most transgender girls are not Olympic Athletes, they are not even Alpha males. Transgender girls have brains and biology that are different from cis-gender men. Undercover describes the experience of knowing you are a girl, and having to keep it a secret, life a spy working undercover, like a Jew living in Nazi Europe.
In 1977, I hit bottom. I had turned to drugs and alcohol, and ended up in a psychiatric ward. I tried to commit suicide (again), this time by swallowing glass shards, and ground glass and not telling anybody for 4 days. When I told them I was a girl inside, they told me I couldn’t talk about that ever again. I don’t ever want to go to that place again.
Aborting transition was a horrible idea. I doubled my weight, I had a heart attack and a stroke, I struggled with work and relationships, and I didn’t see my kids face-to-face for 5 years. I should never have aborted the transition.
|Courtesy of Debbie Ballard.|
After a make-over similar to “What Not to Wear” with my partner and spouse – Lee, I have learned to dress nicer than about half the women, and not as nice as the other half. This way I get a smile and a glance, then on to the next girl. I like dresses with jackets most of the time.