Toni Newman is a distinguished author, activist, and advocate for transgender rights. A graduate of Wake Forest University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology, she has dedicated her life to championing equality and visibility for the transgender community. Her memoir, I Rise – The Transformation of Toni Newman, is a groundbreaking work, marking the first 21st-century memoir written by an African-American transgender woman. In it, Toni bravely shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and survival, offering an unfiltered look into her experiences, from struggling to find employment to working as an escort, and ultimately emerging as a powerful advocate for change.
Beyond her literary contributions, Toni is an active force in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. She has served as a writer for The Huffington Post and as Community Editor for Proud to Be Out - The Digital Magazine. She currently works with a major equality organization, advocating for policies that protect and uplift the transgender community. Toni is also involved in the world of entertainment, having adapted her experiences into the screenplay Heart of a Woman, which features a diverse cast of talented actors, including transgender actress and activist Angelica Ross. Despite facing rejection from family and friends when she transitioned in her late twenties, Toni persevered, drawing strength from her faith and inner conviction. Today, she continues to be a beacon of hope for transgender individuals, fighting for their rights in legislative spaces and striving to complete her law degree. Her advocacy underscores the importance of education, employment opportunities, and political engagement in achieving true equality.
In this interview, Toni discusses her memoir, her activism, and the evolving landscape for transgender women in America. With her signature honesty and insight, she sheds light on the challenges and triumphs of living as an openly transgender woman, the intersection of race and gender identity, and her hopes for a more inclusive future.
Monika: Hello Toni!
Toni: Hello Monika, glad to talk to you.
Monika: I always love starting with the bigger picture. What have been the highlights of your career so far, and what kind of impact do you feel your work has had?
Toni: Well, I am the author of I Rise - The Transformation of Toni Newman and I work for an equality organization now, fighting for the rights of LGBT folk. I write a blog for Huffington Post, and I am the Community Editor for Proud to Be Out - The Digital Magazine. My goal is to complete my law degree and work for transgender rights and full equality for the transgender community. Advocating for marginalized voices has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my journey.
|
| More info about Toni Newman. |
Monika: Your autobiography, I Rise - The Transformation of Toni Newman, is such a powerful title. What pushed you to write it, and what message did you most want readers to take away?
Toni: There are only three African-American transgender authors who have written memoirs in the United States, and the last one was almost 20 years ago. I wanted to tell the story and life of an African-American transgender person in America and how we survive and exist in society. Sharing my truth was not just about my journey, it was about giving hope to others who face similar struggles.
Monika: You have called your book the first memoir of its kind written in America by a member of the African American transgender community. That is quite a distinction.
Toni: Yes, it is the first one written in the 21st century and only the third in American history. I hope it paves the way for more stories to be told, giving voice to those who have been historically overlooked.
Monika: Nothing in your book feels held back. Even the affairs with celebrities are laid bare. What made you decide to tell it all rather than soften the edges?
Toni: I kept it real and pure. I was an escort and mistress for many years and told that part of my history as well. There are many hip-hop artists, actors, and rappers who speak negatively of my community but engage in sexual activity with my community. I wanted to show that there are several highly respected individuals who engage sexually with the transgender community. Bringing these truths to light challenges hypocrisy and encourages honest conversations about sexuality and identity.
Monika: Your story also inspired a TV play and screenplay, originally called The Erotic Professionals, based on your life as part of a trio. I would love to hear more about that project.
Toni: The Erotic Professionals title has been changed to Heart of a Woman and is based on Chapter 7 of my book. The film details the disappointment of African-American transgender individuals seeking a job, love, and acceptance in society, only to face rejection on all fronts. It explores my years as an escort and mistress, working alongside a female escort and a male escort as a trio. Heart of a Woman features transgender actress and singer Angelica Ross, Calvin Klein model Daniel Sobieray, Wedding Crashers and True Blood star Rachel Sterling, Law & Order and Client List star Elisabeth Röhm, and Def Jam comedian Leslie Jones, with British director Keith Holland at the helm. The original screenplay was written by Alton Demore. This project is deeply personal to me, as it sheds light on the struggles and resilience of transgender women navigating a world that often refuses to see them.
Monika: For so many transgender women, school and university are the most painful years, full of discrimination. Was that true for you too, or did your path look different?
Toni: No, I came out much later and felt the most discrimination when I started to transition and could not find a job or any type of employment. I sent out over 150 résumés and had almost 29 interviews, only to be rejected each time. Some employers told me outright that having a transgender person on staff would not be acceptable. I could not find a job, which drove me to join my transgender sisters working the streets of NYC as a prostitute to survive and exist. That period of my life was both eye-opening and heartbreaking, as I saw firsthand the systemic barriers that push so many transgender women into survival work.
|
| "I Rise - The Transformation of Toni Newman" |
Monika: Take me back to the beginning of your transition. At what age did it start, and what stood in your way?
Toni: I began around 28 and had no support whatsoever. My family rejected me completely, and my gay friends at the time did not understand or support my decision. I was completely alone when I started my transformation process. I remember feeling isolated, but I knew in my heart and soul that I had to do it to be happy.
For the first six months, I lived off my savings and hardly spoke to anyone from my past. I prayed a lot since I was from a Christian upbringing and background. I doubted my decision so many times, but I knew deep within that this was the only way for Toni Newman to be happy and real. After six months, as I ran out of money and lost my apartment, I accepted that I had to fight and hustle to exist. Looking back, those struggles shaped my resilience and determination to not only survive but also thrive as my true self.
Monika: You transitioned back in the late ’90s, a very different time. Were there any transgender role models you could look up to then?
Toni: In the late ’90s, there were no real role models for me. I remember seeing Lady Chablis in a movie and thinking, "Wow!" I had little knowledge of transgender issues at the time and learned most of what I knew from the transgender individuals I encountered on the streets, such as hormones, blockers, and laser treatments. The lack of resources made it a very isolating experience, but it also helped me find strength in my own journey.
Monika: Cosmetic surgery has advanced so much that transitioning in one's late 50s or 60s is now within reach for some. Do you see that as truly realistic, and what would you say to a transgender woman considering it at that age?
Toni: I am not sure if at the age of 50 I would be willing to start the transformation process. I applaud those who want to do it at any age since it takes such courage to begin the journey. I tell all transgender individuals, no matter their age, to find a good doctor they trust and carefully consider all their options. It's important to prioritize mental and emotional well-being alongside physical changes, as transitioning later in life can come with unique challenges.
Monika: Coming out is rarely easy. Looking back, what was the hardest moment of that process for you?
Toni: Telling my family and friends and seeing their disappointment in me as a person. To actually tell your loved ones and see the rejection in their eyes is very heartbreaking. It's something that stays with you, but over time, I've learned to embrace my truth, regardless of their reactions.
Monika: Stepping back for a moment, how would you describe where transgender women stand in American society today?
Toni: I think transgender women are coming out more and more and being seen in society more as well. There are quite a few role models for transgender women now in TV, music, art, literature, and entertainment. There are more laws being passed to protect transgender rights and equality. However, there is still a long way to go, and we must continue advocating for better acceptance and protection for all transgender individuals.
|
| Glamour photo. |
Monika: More and more transgender women are stepping into the spotlight these days, quite unlike in past decades. We have seen Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you expect this list to keep growing?
Toni: Yes, we will. The tide has turned, and transgender women are no longer hidden in American society. I applaud all transgender women to come out and be proud of themselves. You are beautiful and unique, and God made us just like we are. As visibility increases, we will continue to see more transgender women breaking barriers in various fields.
Monika: The T often comes last in LGBT, both in the acronym and, some would argue, in attention. Do you feel the transgender community is able to push its own cause within that wider group?
Toni: Listen, the transgender community as a whole is very small, and we need the support of the LGB community to push our agenda of equal rights and equality. I believe the LGB community is more cognizant of our special needs and circumstances today, and our voice is getting louder and louder. Visibility is the key, and educating ourselves is essential in my mind for us to be recognized and accepted. As our visibility grows, we are building more allies and gaining a stronger voice within the broader LGBT movement.
Monika: Politics is another arena entirely. Are you involved in any lobbying or advocacy work there, and do you believe transgender women can truly shape political outcomes?
Toni: Yes, I work for the largest LGBT advocacy group in California now, and we are pushing bills through the California Assembly and Senate fighting for the specific rights of transgender students and individuals in the workforce. I make legislative calls asking for support of those bills, and I do believe transgender men and women can make a difference in politics and be successful in politics. Our voice is unique, and we can provide perspective to individuals who are forgotten, mistreated, harassed, brutalized, bullied, and even killed for being who we are. By having a seat at the table, we can push for meaningful change and represent those whose struggles are often ignored.
Monika: Here is a bold one for you. Could you imagine living to see a transgender woman become President of the United States?
Toni: Wow, maybe in another 50 years. However, with the increasing visibility of transgender individuals in leadership roles, it's not entirely out of the question.
Monika: Switching gears, what do you make of transgender beauty pageants?
Toni: I have several friends who compete in them, and they are very expensive. If you can afford to compete, I am cool with it, but first, let us educate ourselves so we can get better jobs. Let's get our priorities in order so we can financially take care of ourselves and make a difference first. Beauty pageants can be empowering, but real change comes from long-term personal and professional growth.
Monika: On a more personal note, has marriage ever been part of your story? And what role does love play in your life these days?
Toni: I have never been married. I am happy for those who want to marry, but that has never been a priority for me. I have been with the same partner for almost 11 years now, and we don't need a marriage license. He treats me the way I want to be treated, and I treat him the way he wants to be treated. We are a team and strive to achieve goals and move forward in life. I enjoy the feeling of good love, which means love that does not hurt, humiliate, or control. So many transgender people, in the pursuit of love, will take any love no matter how harmful it can be just to be loved. I enjoy a love that is based on respect and honesty. Love should always empower, never diminish.
Monika: After everything you have been through, would you say you have finally found happiness?
Toni: I can truly say I am happy now and feel loved, blessed, and headed in a positive direction. I wish a happy love to all my transgender brothers and sisters. God is love, and we all deserve to be loved and be happy. The journey has been tough, but it has also been rewarding.
Monika: Toni, thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
All the photos: courtesy of Toni Newman.
No comments:
Post a Comment