Jennifer Lydon is an American transgender activist and senior account executive at Metro US, a newspaper serving major American cities including New York, Philadelphia and Boston. Alongside her professional career, she has devoted herself to supporting the transgender community in Pennsylvania, organizing the Mid-Atlantic Transgender Community (M.A.T.C.) and hosting transgender pride events at The Raven in New Hope. After spending many years struggling with her gender identity, Jennifer began her medical transition in her forties and found the courage to live openly as herself while continuing her career.
Her decision to come out at work attracted media attention and offered encouragement to other transgender people who wondered whether they could transition without sacrificing their professional lives. Through community gatherings, social activities and her own example, Jennifer discovered that helping others find acceptance could also help her embrace herself. A mother of four adult children, she believes that finding a good therapist, building supportive friendships and learning to love oneself are essential steps towards a more fulfilling life. In our interview, Jennifer shares her story, speaking about workplace acceptance, transgender visibility and the need for stronger representation and leadership within the transgender community.
Monika: Hello Jennifer, and welcome! It is a pleasure to have you here.
Jennifer: Hi Monika. Thank you so much for allowing me part of your site. It is an honor to be amongst so many inspirational people.
Monika: Tell us a little about yourself.
Jennifer: Questions like this are always tough for me… I either say too much or have nothing to say… lol… Anyway, here goes… I am a 48-year-old trans woman who has successfully navigated one life into another. I was married for almost 20 years and have four adult children who are still very much a part of my life.
Monika: And what about your professional life?
Jennifer: I work as an account executive for Metro News Media. I’ve been there for over 14 years… the first 13 of which I worked as a mild-mannered male… lol. Times have changed for sure!
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| “Jen Lydon reads her coming out letter” (YouTube). |
Monika: The media has recently featured you as a positive example of transitioning at work. What has that experience been like?
Jennifer: Yeah, for the first time in my life, I’m really proud of myself. When Metro asked if they could write my story… I agreed immediately. It’s so important that others see that it is possible to transition on the job. It’s also very important that the general population read our stories… after the article ran I received so many beautiful comments from family members of trans people who are trying to understand. Awareness is so important.
Monika: Discrimination is part of many transgender lives. Has it touched yours?
Jennifer: Yes and no… I’ve never been assaulted or fired from a job… but like almost every trans person, I’ve faced some ridicule and mean-spirited comments. Funny thing is… as Jennifer I have no problem shaking off criticism, whereas Brian took it to heart. It’s most likely because prior to living my true life I harbored so many insecurities and fears.
Monika: For several years you have been involved with the Meetup groups M.A.T.C. and Tgirls United, which organize meet ups for transgender people in Pennsylvania. What do these groups mean to you?
Jennifer: Yeah, in so many ways these groups are where I grew up. I didn’t really start accepting myself until I was in my early 40s… oh there were short spurts where I would venture out presenting female, but they were all followed by a retreat back into the closet. Fact is prior to my discovery of the internet I felt as though I was the only one… the constant feelings were my weakness, my so-called cross to bear. They had to be squashed and suppressed.
Monika: What changed once you found a community of your own?
Jennifer: When I came upon a small group in Allentown, PA on Meetup I finally joined and started posting pics… shortly afterwards I started reaching out to others and found that by listening to others’ struggles I could better handle my own. In time I became quite active and started hosting events and shopping trips. Helping others to crawl out of the shadows became my calling. I am thanked often for opening the door for many in our community… but the reality is I should be thanking them.
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| On the cover of the Metro daily. |
Monika: It sounds like helping others gave something back to you as well.
Jennifer: My helping others and setting myself up as a role model actually gave me the strength and courage to deal with my own demons. I have to credit much of my success at work to the confidence and social skills I developed socializing within these groups.
Monika: How would you describe the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Jennifer: I feel great strides have been made within the past five years. I see more and more trans people all the time. I am most impressed with younger generations. In my field of work I am out and about all the time, either presenting in front of groups or networking at social events.
It’s remarkable how those under 35 react when they meet me. They respect my courage and move on to other topics… it’s like no big deal to them. This I attribute mostly to sensitivity training in schools. Something that most in my generation mock… but there’s no denying that it has been impactful.
Monika: At what age did you transition, and was it a difficult process?
Jennifer: Tough question to answer because there have been so many levels of transition. I was 25 years old when I finally opened up to someone. I told my then wife that I was confused and needed help. Shortly after opening up, I wrapped it all up again and started hitting the weights… lol.
Monika: Did that attempt to push your feelings away work?
Jennifer: I really did try and beat this… anyway, long story short, after years of purging I started seeing a therapist at the age of 44 and started HRT a few months later. Coming to terms with my being a transsexual took a lifetime.
Monika: Did you have any transgender role models to follow at that time?
Jennifer: Not really… and to be honest with you… there were so few that had their shit together, for lack of a better way of putting it. As a child I do remember Renee Richards (T.S. tennis player) being on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Sadly, I was both captivated and sickened at the same time. I wanted to be like her, but at the same time I despised myself for feeling that way. Looking back… she really was an incredibly courageous woman.
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| In her previous life. |
Monika: Coming out is never simple. What was the hardest part for you?
Jennifer: The hardest part was facing the unknown. After management and human resources were on board, I still had to face my co-workers and clients. Prior to reading my letter to the staff I was a nervous wreck… but to my surprise just about everyone reacted with compassion and a congratulatory spirit. This propelled me to a state of complete confidence. I’ve had very few issues with clients as well. In fact several have become friends.
Monika: Some say transgenderism could be the new frontier for human rights. Do you agree?
Jennifer: Yes… as it should be… we were born this way… sadly much of the world has no idea what it means to be transgender. All that being said… we are well on our way.
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers and books. What is your impression of them so far?
Jennifer: Other than documentaries on the subject I’ve seen very few positive portrayals… and sadly the only people watching the documentaries are trans people… lol.
Monika: Have you read or watched anything about transgenderism recently that caught your attention?
Jennifer: Y’know… I haven’t… and that probably sounds strange. I think that I spent so much time prior to accepting myself reading articles online that I sort of burnt out on reading about other transgender people. I find more inspiration reading about people like Jackie Robinson. Fact is… for those of us out in the workplace, we are the ultimate minority… it’s real important we carry ourselves with strength and dignity.
Monika: The transgender cause is usually presented together with the other LGBT communities. As the last letter in the abbreviation, can the transgender community promote its own agenda within the group?
Jennifer: Excellent question, and one that needs to be asked. I have always felt that there is a huge difference between sexuality and gender. Obviously we share similar struggles… but at the same time there are so many issues important to the trans community that sort of get pushed to the back burner. We need a charismatic leader… someone who speaks what so many of us think.
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| Finally herself. |
Monika: Is there anyone in the US transgender community whose actions could be compared to what Harvey Milk did for gay activism in the 60s and 70s?
Jennifer: No… not even close… but I do feel as if that will change soon. The fact is we need leadership… people willing to put themselves out there without having to be compensated or compromised. It’ll happen sooner than later, I think.
Monika: What about politics? Are you active in any lobbying campaigns, and can transgender women make a difference in that arena?
Jennifer: I am not currently active in politics. I guess you could say I have been too busy finding my own place at this time. However, I do think the right person can make a difference… that being said… our best ambassadors are those of us that are out there every day meeting people… changing hearts and minds… the more we are seen… the more we become PEOPLE first!
Monika: Many transgender women tell their stories in memoirs. Have you ever considered writing one?
Jennifer: Yes… I’ve thought about it, but writing my memoirs would force me to re-examine a lot of painful emotions… right now I am too focused on my new, more fulfilling life. Maybe when I retire… I’ll probably be 90 y.o… lol
Monika: Are you working on any new projects at the moment?
Jennifer: Yes… I am involved with a group that is planning to launch a website that will feature essays from transgender authors. We should be up and running in early 2015.
Monika: What would you recommend to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Jennifer: Firstly, find a good therapist… one that helps you to be honest with yourself… not one that simply tells you what you want to hear. Secondly, be active socially… and surround yourself with good friends… It’s so important to stay conscious of the fact that in no way are you alone. And finally, love yourself… NOBODY will ever love you if you do not love yourself. I know what I just said is easier said than done, but believe me it is possible… I truly hated who and what I was, but when I finally accepted, I never gave up on myself… If I am trans… I’m going to be the best trans woman possible… lol. I really do push myself almost every day to be a little better than yesterday. It’s what we all have to do to live the life we deserve.
Monika: Jennifer, thank you so much for this interview!
Jennifer: Monika, what you are doing here is great. I only wish I had read these profiles earlier… it may have sped up my whole coming out at work… so… Thank you!
All the photos: courtesy of Jennifer Lydon.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
