Alice Denny is a British poet and transgender woman from Brighton, England, whose writing explores the joys and challenges of womanhood, identity, love and social injustice. Having transitioned later in life, after raising her children, she found a renewed sense of energy and freedom to express herself through poetry and performance. Rather than defining herself primarily through her transgender identity, she sees herself first and foremost as a woman, a parent and a poet. Through her work and participation in Brighton’s transgender community, she has helped bring personal experiences of transition, prejudice and self-acceptance into public view. Born in Hertfordshire, Denny studied at university in Devon before moving to Sussex, where she worked as a psychiatric nurse. She eventually settled in Brighton, initially to be closer to her son and friends and to gain better access to the services she needed for her transition. The support she found through the LGBT Switchboard and the Clare Project helped her navigate this new chapter of her life.
In July 2014, Denny participated in Brighton Trans*formed, an exhibition celebrating the lives and experiences of 23 transgender, genderqueer and intersex people through photography, oral histories and installations. She also took part in Brighton's Trans Pride celebrations, embracing opportunities to share her experiences and connect with others. Although she did not consider herself an activist in the conventional sense, she believed in the importance of meeting people, exchanging experiences and challenging prejudice. Her poetry became a particularly personal way of contributing to that effort, giving voice to the complicated emotions of transition, the pain of discrimination and the joy of finally living authentically. In her poems, Denny draws inspiration from her own experiences, relationships and strong feelings about social injustice. She writes not simply to describe the difficulties faced by transgender women, but also to celebrate womanhood, love and the freedom to be oneself.
Monika: Alice, welcome, and thank you for joining me today!
Alice: Hello Monika, it’s a pleasure to meet you, so to speak.
Monika: Tell our readers a little about yourself.
Alice: Well, I came out and transitioned later in life than most, after bringing up a family. As such, transition has given me a new lease of life, a new energy. It has presented some interesting issues with relationships. I identify primarily as a woman, parent, poet etc., and trans is more coincidental, a reference to my development that has little current relevance. Although in practice it has a big impact on the way I interact in the world and the way the world treats me.
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| Kafkaesque: a poem by Alice Denny (Vimeo) |
Monika: You attended a meeting in Prague, the Czech Republic, some time ago. What role does networking play in transgender activism?
Alice: I did, Monika, but I don’t think of myself as an activist as such; there are some fabulous activists and advocates out there. Meeting people from other areas and countries, from the next street even, is so important because it reminds us we are not alone, helps share experience and work to fight prejudice, which is considerable around the world.
Monika: Poetry seems to be your own way of taking part. Did it travel with you to Prague?
Alice: I tend to speak from a personal point of view through poetry and hope it resonates with others. We filmed a couple of poems in Prague locations which I hope people will see and can relate to. One of them refers to Kafka’s “Metamorphosis”, which really nails what it can feel like to be “other”. Plus we met a couple of really super Prague residents who Fox interviewed and filmed, so look out for that.
Monika: Brighton is famous for its openness towards transgender people, and it is where you live now. How did you end up there?
Alice: I moved here about 6 years ago, to be near my son and friends and for access to services essential to transition, rather than to escape perceived prejudice. Brighton also has easy links to London, where my gender specialist practices.
Monika: Did the city live up to its reputation once you settled in?
Alice: Later I learned that although discrimination and hostility do exist here too, Brighton rightly prides itself as a welcoming, accepting and nurturing city. There are so many people here who work so hard to make the lives of others more comfortable. Also, there are so many social and artistic avenues for self-expression, it really can be a great place to develop your sense of identity and self-worth, and gain confidence.
Monika: In July 2014 you took part in the Brighton Trans*formed exhibition, which tells the stories of 23 Brightonian trans, genderqueer and intersex people through photography, audio and object installations. How did it feel to be involved?
Alice: Oh yes, well, this was typical Brighton at its best. It was an honour and humbling to play a small part in Brighton Transformed. I am completely awed by the energy and commitment of people (not all trans, but with a belief in human dignity) that drove this project along, placing trans issues and trans lives to the forefront. It did so much to affirm our lives and experiences, and the Brighton populace responded with warm generosity. It felt good. Really good.
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| Brighton “Transformed”. Photo by Sharon Kilgannon (Alonglines Photography). |
Monika: Brighton seems to be full of community energy. Which other cultural or social initiatives has the transgender community organised there?
Alice: There are numerous important support groups here. I am on record (several times) in citing my debt to The Clare Project, which was my first port of call in Brighton. There is an LGBT Switchboard, which also helped me enormously. The local city council have worked with Switchboard and local trans people on establishing trans equality within the city, improving services to meet the specific needs of trans people and making Brighton a more comfortable place to be.
Monika: Brighton has also held its own Trans Pride. Tell me about that day.
Alice: And last year, of course, we had the first ever Transpride in Brighton, again as the result of fantastic hard work by a few dedicated and inspired people. It was a joyful coming together of the wide spectrum of those who identify as “trans”, their families, allies and casual attendees, many of whom admitted to having had their eyes opened by the experience. It was magical and this year was even better. It segue’d with a series of Brighton Transformed presentations: huge posters of trans people in shop windows and bars, huge projections of our images in the town centre. I don’t think I’ve ever been hugged by and hugged so many as on that day.
Monika: You are also a poet. Where does your inspiration come from?
Alice: I guess from my own small inner world, Monika, things that impinge on my life and move me. I hadn’t realised how many (though not a huge number) of my poems are directly or indirectly about the joys and difficulties of being a trans woman. Someone asked me the other day why I “Out” myself in my poetry, but it’s not a question of deliberately outing myself (not that I would have too much choice anyway); it’s just “this is who I am”.
Monika: What do you want your poems to say about the road you have travelled?
Alice: And anyway, I went through a lot of s..t to get here, so I want to celebrate how amazing it is to be a (trans) woman as well as confusing and emotionally painful at times. Some stem from my delight and relief at finally finding myself where I am, a woman; others are from my abhorrence of social injustice or the pain of personal injustice. And mostly about love and relationships, I guess. All this is quite hard to express, which is why I do the poems, I guess. I hope this makes sense. I feel emotions very strongly and just need to express them.
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| At Transpride Brighton 2014. Photo by Sophie Moore. |
Monika: Is there such a thing as transgender art or literature? And what does it mean to be a transgender writer, poet or artist?
Alice: Do you know, I haven’t a clue. I tend not to immerse myself in specifically transgender stuff. What I do believe is that when you transition, you do get this burst of energy, and I for one feel I have this freedom (and necessity) to express myself artistically, emotionally and even socially. There are people in business and other walks of life (if they haven’t lost their jobs due to persecution) who become more energised and successful. I can’t explain it; it’s as if every nerve in your body is more alive. I’ve been more aware of what I think is the difference between men’s poetry and women’s, but I won’t discuss that here because it probably doesn’t hold water.
Monika: How would you describe the present situation of transgender women in British society?
Alice: Blimey, that is a big question. I was in Prague the other day, in a bar on my own writing poems and drinking beer at a table, when I looked up and saw that someone had spotted me and the whisper was going round the clientele. They were giving me furtive looks and smiling in that knowing, disdainful way.
Monika: How did you handle a moment like that?
Alice: I realise you have to be careful not to read too much into these situations, not to feel embattled. I just smiled back and got on with my writing and drinking. It’s a while since that has happened in England, but it does happen, even in Brighton. And worse. You get the misogyny all women have to suffer, “plus.” I feel a very close affinity with women in general, and feminists who are working for freedom and equality for ALL women. Terfs are still a nasty reminder of small-mindedness, but they will and are finding themselves marginalised.
Monika: Tell me about your own transition. At what age did it happen, and was it a difficult process?
Alice: Yeh, it was hard, still is at times, but SO worth it. I was always a woman. I can say that because this feels so RIGHT.
Monika: Did you follow any transgender role models at the time of your transition?
Alice: No.
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| In “My Gendernation” (YouTube). |
Monika: Coming out is a milestone for many people. What was the hardest part of yours?
Alice: I think it was organising to tell my kids at the same time and then finding that someone had let the cat out of the bag to my daughter and she had been suffering in silence for weeks. Her pain and confusion were almost unbearable. It was as if I’d been lying to her, and I feared my son would think he’d been kept out of the loop, but in fact he was really understanding. The best laid plans, eh?
Monika: Were there other difficult moments after that?
Alice: There have been numerous other bad moments, just as there have for everyone. My brain has sort of muted the pain of rejections and humiliations. It’s not fair, but you get through it. It will go on happening, it might happen tomorrow. There is a dilemma: how to work to end this for the next generation without dwelling on the negatives and letting them eat away at your soul. That’s why I like to get on with being a woman and poet, and anything that might earn me a few quid to pay off the costs of transition. Ha ha.
Monika: Do you think transgenderism could be the new frontier for human rights?
Alice: Whoa! Transgenderism? Not a term I could relate to. A problem of translation, I think, but it sounds like a medical syndrome or a political movement. I think you could be right though. Transgender rights have to some extent become the civil rights issue in defining a compassionate society. Around the world LGBTQ rights are under threat; many countries have taken backward steps. Ts and Qs are more visible, I guess, so easier to single out for persecution. It is really unsettling to think that people who don’t even know me would profess to hate me and even wish me dead, which in many countries people are willing to act on.
Monika: Is the situation really so different in more progressive countries?
Alice: Plus, even in “civilized” countries such as the UK, those who ostensibly accept divergence in terms of LGB reserve a visceral spite for transgender people, especially trans women for some reason. The blokes do get a good deal of persecution too even so. And let’s not forget that all manner of vulnerable people are subject to prejudice, abuse and persecution: disabled people, those with mental illness or learning disabilities. We all need to do our little bit to make a more compassionate and fairer world.
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| Transformed projection on the evening of TransPride Brighton 2014. Amazing day. |
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers and books. What is your view of how they have been portrayed so far?
Alice: Not much. Boys Don’t Cry was the last film to really touch me. Watching it was a horribly traumatic experience, if you know what I mean, but so honest and moving. But I don’t seek out specifically “trans” films, actors or characters. I thought Hayley in Coronation Street (a British soap) was a wonderful character, and I was not at all bothered that the actor wasn’t trans.
Monika: Do you feel that public attitudes are shifting?
Alice: I felt that the public outpouring of compassion (I know, it’s only a telly program) when “Hayley” died was indicative of a great change in social perception and opinion. What some people have called “the Tipping Point” has been reached, maybe, in the UK at least. Transgender people are still horribly misrepresented in the media though, in TV and radio comedy especially. All the tired old clichés are trotted out. It’s not clever and it is NOT comedy.
Monika: Where else do you notice this kind of misrepresentation?
Alice: Also, so-called feminists are continually allowed to voice blatant lies beneath the guise of feminist theory or science when the real purpose is to deny my right to exist and stir up antipathy. Newspapers too continue to focus on the transgender history of someone in the news when this is clearly totally irrelevant. It is getting a little better, steadily, thanks to individuals and groups such as All About Trans who try to engage with editors and journalists in a constructive way to get the message across. I’ve tried to engage with the BBC about a couple of issues, but they ignore me. Hah!
END OF PART 1
Main photo by Sharon Kilgannon.
Still taken during filming of the Lucky Tooth Film “Alice”.
All the photos: courtesy of Alice Denny.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
