In the heart of Manchester, among the terraced homes and unmistakable Northern charm of Burnage, grew a girl who hadn't yet found her reflection in the mirror. That girl would one day become Kelly Grice, a tall, elegant woman with a warm laugh, a resilient spirit, and a story of courage that would inspire many across the UK and beyond. Known for her height at 6 ft 4, Kelly’s true measure is found not in inches, but in strength, grace, and kindness. Today, Kelly lives happily with her husband, Darren Grice, whose support and love became her anchor during the more turbulent waters of her transition. Together, they prove that love transcends every expectation. In 2017, Kelly published her memoir “My Journey from He to She and How to Transition”, a heartfelt and practical guide born from the meticulous notes she kept throughout her experience, written not for fame, but to ease the journey of others walking a similar path.
From navigating the NHS system to embracing life as her authentic self, Kelly's journey is one of honesty and hope. She speaks candidly about the challenges trans women face, the importance of self-compassion, and the quiet victories that come from being seen and accepted, not only by others, but by oneself. Beyond her book, Kelly is now pursuing a degree in Psychology, with the dream of one day supporting other transgender individuals through their own transitions. In her downtime, she finds joy in simple things, comfortable leggings, conversations by the canal, and historical novels set in ancient times, including the one she's currently writing about Alexander the Great. In this interview, Kelly shares her experiences, insights, and a wisdom that only comes from living life fully, openly, and without apology. It is my honor and pleasure to introduce you to a woman whose voice, both gentle and powerful, reminds us all that the journey to becoming ourselves is one worth every step.
Monika: Today I have the pleasure of speaking with Kelly Grice, an inspiring woman from Manchester, England. She is a proud wife and the author of the 2017 memoir My Journey from He to She and How to Transition. Welcome, Kelly!
Kelly: Hi Monika, and thank you for interviewing me. It’s lovely to be here and have the chance to talk with you.
|
| Available via Amazon. |
Kelly: Yes, I grew up in Burnage in Manchester. I knew all three brothers, Noel, Liam, and Paul. I fell out with Liam after we had a fight, which I won when we were children. Noel and Liam now live in London, but I would still see their mother Peggy around Burnage, where she still lives, and we would have a chat. It's funny to think how many stories from that small neighborhood ended up in the spotlight.
Monika: For readers just getting to know you, how would you describe yourself?
Kelly: I see myself as honest, reliable, and trustworthy. I also see myself as very tall, especially for a female, as I am 6 ft 4. I’ve always tried to embrace who I am with confidence and humor.
Monika: What inspired you to turn your personal transition journey into a book?
Kelly: During my transition, I had always kept notes about changes on hormones, as well as psychiatry assessments, laser treatments, and other aspects of the process. I wanted to write a book one day to help others who were thinking of transitioning, and to offer something they could relate to emotionally through my own experiences. Keeping those notes helped me reflect deeply on my path, and I realized how valuable they might be for others.
Monika: Why did you feel it was important to focus on your experience within the NHS system?
Kelly: When I began to transition, I looked for books that could have helped me, but most of them were American, so I thought I could share my own experience of transitioning within the NHS system. Then, in the summer of 2017, I found I had some free time before returning to university, so I decided to finally spend it writing my book. I wanted it to be grounded, practical, and honest, something I would have appreciated reading at the time.
Monika: What personal insights or lessons from your journey do you think could help other transgender women navigating their own paths?
Kelly: I think the book covers lots of different things we come across when transitioning, from deed poll name changes to gender recognition certificates, laser treatment, telling others you are transsexual, and coming out. It also gives advice on how to be yourself, not to be judgmental or hard on yourself, something many trans people struggle with, and to enjoy the experience and see it as a whole new you. Embracing the journey with a sense of self-compassion can truly make a difference.
Monika: What is the most important piece of advice you would give to someone just beginning their transition?
Kelly: I think the best advice I can give is to stay positive, as there will be days when you wonder if you’ve done the right thing and if it was all worth the stress and hassle. These are usually only minor setbacks, but to a trans woman at the time, they can seem like the end of the world. Try to remember that progress isn't always linear, and each step forward matters more than you think.
Monika: When did you come out as a woman, and how did the people in your life respond?
Kelly: I came out to my family when I was 36 years old, as I just could not go on any longer living a lie. They took it rather well, and much better than I expected. Friends were fine too. I was in a much easier position than lots of other trans women, having never married nor had children, and I feel for them and the angst it caused. I count myself lucky to have had that kind of acceptance and understanding from the start.
Monika: What did the actual process of medical and social transition look like for you?
Kelly: Transitioning was a different matter. Even though I came out to everyone at the age of 36, I had to wait a long time for a gender identity clinic appointment through the NHS. I was 39 before I met a psychiatrist at Charing Cross in London. After living full-time as a female for a number of years, I finally had my operation when I was 42. I found transitioning was relatively easy, and work colleagues accepted me too. It wasn’t always smooth, but each milestone felt deeply affirming.
|
| Introduction - available via YouTube. |
Monika: During the early days of your transition, were there any transgender individuals you looked up to or who inspired you?
Kelly: Not really. The role models I did admire were ordinary transgender people who had taken my path years before and lived true to themselves. Seeing them far happier now spurred me on to be myself too, and their hard work being seen daily in public and workplaces made it far easier for me to transition years later. Their quiet courage really paved the way for people like me to follow more confidently.
Monika: These days, are there any transgender women you particularly admire or draw strength from?
Kelly: Only the ones who show guts and determination to do this, it takes a thick skin and courage you probably never thought you had. Their strength reminds me that authenticity comes with sacrifice, but also with power.
Monika: Many transgender women face heartbreaking losses, family ties, friendships, careers, when they come out and begin living openly. Was this your experience as well, and what part of coming out was the most difficult for you?
Kelly: Luckily I did not lose any, and where I worked, for the Royal Mail, was fine too. I gave them advanced warning of a name change and what I was planning to do, so it worked out fine. I do know some girls showed up to work dressed without prior notice, though, and were shown the door. I planned everything well in advance so this did not happen. Having a plan made all the difference, and I’m incredibly grateful things turned out the way they did.
Monika: Sadly, not everyone is met with the same level of acceptance. Were your friends or colleagues affected differently by their transitions?
Kelly: Other transgender friends were not so lucky and found themselves cut off from family and friends, and suddenly they were surplus to requirements at work too. I count my blessings. Their stories remind me just how fragile acceptance can be, and how important support systems really are.
|
| At Canal. |
Monika: In recent years, we've seen increased visibility for transgender women, on runways, in politics, in entertainment, and beyond. Do you think this growing representation reflects real societal change, or are we still at the beginning of a much longer journey?
Kelly: I think the transgender position has moved on in leaps and bounds over the past few years, but a lot still needs to be done. Friends overseas cannot change their birth certificates even when post-op, they are ostracized in their community and seen as freaks, I feel lucky to live in the UK. While progress is real, it’s still uneven depending on where in the world you are.
Monika: What’s your take on how transgender lives are portrayed in media and understood by the wider public?
Kelly: Transgender awareness is seen far more in TV series and soaps, and a lot more people now know someone close to them who is transgender. I feel we are still years behind the gay and lesbian communities in terms of acceptance, but it is improving. Every time a trans storyline is handled with respect, it helps shift public perception a little more.
Monika: While progress is being made, transgender people still face serious threats, ranging from violence to exclusion from public spaces like restrooms. What are your thoughts on the safety and dignity of trans women today?
Kelly: In America especially, the number of trans people killed per year is numerous, particularly among trans women of color. In addition, the bathroom bill needs addressing, for the simple act of using a toilet, you face a fine and threat of imprisonment. It’s heartbreaking that something as basic as using a restroom has become a battleground for human rights.
Monika: Have you personally experienced discrimination or challenges when using public facilities?
Kelly: At times I have met animosity towards myself when using the bathroom, one woman shouted, "There is a man in here," as I sat in a cubicle, this being when I was post-op with a female birth certificate. Also at work, I was told that without a new birth certificate, I would have to use the disabled toilets, which I did for two years, as when I looked into this, they were within their legal rights by providing an alternative toilet facility. These everyday humiliations leave a lasting mark, even when you try to brush them off.
Monika: The transgender community is often included within the broader LGBTQ+ movement, but some argue that the issues facing trans people are unique and require separate advocacy. Do you think the transgender cause is truly represented within the larger LGBTQ+ umbrella?
Kelly: No, I do not, and I have always said the others are about sexuality, ours is about gender, which is totally different. With so many types of transgender identities under the same umbrella, we could really benefit from breaking away and forming an individual group of our own, one that focuses entirely on our specific needs. Sometimes our voices are lost in the larger conversation.
Monika: What kinds of issues do you think would be better addressed by a dedicated transgender movement?
Kelly: There are a lot of issues with being transgender in regard to legal rights and bathroom laws, which would be better handled by a group focused solely on transgender individuals. Call me a rebel. I believe that a specialized group could make much greater strides in areas that directly affect our lives.
|
| We did it! - available via YouTube. |
Monika: For many years, transgender characters in media were either invisible or misrepresented. How has media portrayal of transgender people affected your own experience?
Kelly: I think it has made life harder, especially growing up, as comedy shows and films often had a crossdresser or transsexual as the butt of jokes and sketches. Because of this, most people see us as something to laugh at rather than being taken seriously. Things are moving on, with shows and books portraying transgender people in a much more positive way, but to older generations who grew up seeing trans people as a joke, it is hard to change their minds. Thankfully, younger generations are growing up with more accurate and respectful representations.
Monika: Have you ever considered becoming politically active yourself, or supporting transgender advocacy through campaigns?
Kelly: I stay out of politics, as my husband was a politician. I do think others better suited can do a far better job than I. There are many transgender women in politics now, and I hope they can make a difference, but it also shows how times have changed for the general public to vote for someone who is transgender, and I think that is great and shows development. It’s important that we see ourselves represented in leadership roles.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Kelly Grice.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment