In the heart of Manchester, among the terraced homes and unmistakable Northern charm of Burnage, grew a girl who hadn't yet found her reflection in the mirror. That girl would one day become Kelly Grice, a tall, elegant woman with a warm laugh, a resilient spirit, and a story of courage that would inspire many across the UK and beyond. Known for her height at 6 ft 4, Kelly’s true measure is found not in inches, but in strength, grace, and kindness. Today, Kelly lives happily with her husband, Darren Grice, whose support and love became her anchor during the more turbulent waters of her transition. Together, they prove that love transcends every expectation. In 2017, Kelly published her memoir “My Journey from He to She and How to Transition”, a heartfelt and practical guide born from the meticulous notes she kept throughout her experience, written not for fame, but to ease the journey of others walking a similar path.
From navigating the NHS system to embracing life as her authentic self, Kelly's journey is one of honesty and hope. She speaks candidly about the challenges trans women face, the importance of self-compassion, and the quiet victories that come from being seen and accepted, not only by others, but by oneself. Beyond her book, Kelly is now pursuing a degree in Psychology, with the dream of one day supporting other transgender individuals through their own transitions. In her downtime, she finds joy in simple things, comfortable leggings, conversations by the canal, and historical novels set in ancient times, including the one she's currently writing about Alexander the Great. In this interview, Kelly shares her experiences, insights, and a wisdom that only comes from living life fully, openly, and without apology. It is my honor and pleasure to introduce you to a woman whose voice, both gentle and powerful, reminds us all that the journey to becoming ourselves is one worth every step.
Monika: Today I have the pleasure of speaking with Kelly Grice, an inspiring woman from Manchester, England. She is a proud wife and the author of the 2017 memoir My Journey from He to She and How to Transition. Welcome, Kelly! Kelly: Hi Monika, and thank you for interviewing me. It’s lovely to be here and have the chance to talk with you.
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| Available via Amazon. |
Monika: What inspired you to turn your personal transition journey into a book?
Kelly: During my transition, I had always kept notes about changes on hormones, as well as psychiatry assessments, laser treatments, and other aspects of the process. I wanted to write a book one day to help others who were thinking of transitioning, and to offer something they could relate to emotionally through my own experiences. Keeping those notes helped me reflect deeply on my path, and I realized how valuable they might be for others.
Monika: Why did you feel it was important to focus on your experience within the NHS system?
Kelly: When I began to transition, I looked for books that could have helped me, but most of them were American, so I thought I could share my own experience of transitioning within the NHS system. Then, in the summer of 2017, I found I had some free time before returning to university, so I decided to finally spend it writing my book. I wanted it to be grounded, practical, and honest, something I would have appreciated reading at the time.
Monika: What personal insights or lessons from your journey do you think could help other transgender women navigating their own paths?
Kelly: I think the book covers lots of different things we come across when transitioning, from deed poll name changes to gender recognition certificates, laser treatment, telling others you are transsexual, and coming out. It also gives advice on how to be yourself, not to be judgmental or hard on yourself, something many trans people struggle with, and to enjoy the experience and see it as a whole new you. Embracing the journey with a sense of self-compassion can truly make a difference.
Monika: What is the most important piece of advice you would give to someone just beginning their transition?
Kelly: I think the best advice I can give is to stay positive, as there will be days when you wonder if you’ve done the right thing and if it was all worth the stress and hassle. These are usually only minor setbacks, but to a trans woman at the time, they can seem like the end of the world. Try to remember that progress isn't always linear, and each step forward matters more than you think.
Monika: When did you come out as a woman, and how did the people in your life respond?
Kelly: I came out to my family when I was 36 years old, as I just could not go on any longer living a lie. They took it rather well, and much better than I expected. Friends were fine too. I was in a much easier position than lots of other trans women, having never married nor had children, and I feel for them and the angst it caused. I count myself lucky to have had that kind of acceptance and understanding from the start.
Monika: What did the actual process of medical and social transition look like for you?
Kelly: Transitioning was a different matter. Even though I came out to everyone at the age of 36, I had to wait a long time for a gender identity clinic appointment through the NHS. I was 39 before I met a psychiatrist at Charing Cross in London. After living full-time as a female for a number of years, I finally had my operation when I was 42. I found transitioning was relatively easy, and work colleagues accepted me too. It wasn’t always smooth, but each milestone felt deeply affirming.
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| Introduction - available via YouTube. |
Monika: During the early days of your transition, were there any transgender individuals you looked up to or who inspired you?
Kelly: Not really. The role models I did admire were ordinary transgender people who had taken my path years before and lived true to themselves. Seeing them far happier now spurred me on to be myself too, and their hard work being seen daily in public and workplaces made it far easier for me to transition years later. Their quiet courage really paved the way for people like me to follow more confidently.
Monika: These days, are there any transgender women you particularly admire or draw strength from?
Kelly: Only the ones who show guts and determination to do this, it takes a thick skin and courage you probably never thought you had. Their strength reminds me that authenticity comes with sacrifice, but also with power.
Monika: Many transgender women face heartbreaking losses, family ties, friendships, careers, when they come out and begin living openly. Was this your experience as well, and what part of coming out was the most difficult for you?
Kelly: Luckily I did not lose any, and where I worked, for the Royal Mail, was fine too. I gave them advanced warning of a name change and what I was planning to do, so it worked out fine. I do know some girls showed up to work dressed without prior notice, though, and were shown the door. I planned everything well in advance so this did not happen. Having a plan made all the difference, and I’m incredibly grateful things turned out the way they did.
Monika: Sadly, not everyone is met with the same level of acceptance. Were your friends or colleagues affected differently by their transitions?
Kelly: Other transgender friends were not so lucky and found themselves cut off from family and friends, and suddenly they were surplus to requirements at work too. I count my blessings. Their stories remind me just how fragile acceptance can be, and how important support systems really are.
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| At Canal. |
Monika: The transgender community is said to be thriving now. As Laverne Cox announced, “Trans is beautiful.” Teenage girls become models and dancers, talented ladies become writers, singers, and actresses. Those ladies with an interest in politics, science, and business become successful politicians, academics, and businesswomen. What do you think in general about the present situation of transgender women in contemporary society? Are we just scratching the surface or the change is really happening?
Kelly: I think the transgender position has moved on in leaps and bounds over the past few years but lots still need to be done. Friends overseas cannot change their birth certificates even when post-op, they are ostracized in their community and seen as freaks, I feel lucky to live in the UK.
Transgender awareness is seen far more in TV series and soaps and a lot more people know someone close to them who is transgender. I feel we are still years behind the gay and lesbian communities in way of acceptance but it is improving.
Monika: On the other hand, the restroom war is raging on and transgender women are killed on the streets…
Kelly: In America especially, the number of trans people killed per year is numerous, especially among trans women of color. In addition, the bathroom bill needs addressing for the sake of using a toilet you face a fine and threat of imprisonment.
Even in the UK at times I have met animosity towards myself when using the bathroom, one woman shouting," there is a man in here", as I sat in a cubicle, this being when post-op with a female birth certificate.
Also at work, I was told without a new birth certificate I would have to use the disabled toilets, which I did for two years, as when I looked into this, they were within their legal rights by providing an alternate toilet facility.
Monika: The transgender cause is usually manifested together with the other LGBTQ communities. Being the penultimate letter in this abbreviation, is the transgender community able to promote its own cause within the LGBTQ group?
Kelly: No it is not and I have always said, the others are about sexuality, ours is about gender totally different, and with so many types of transgender under the same umbrella, we really could do with breaking away and having an individual group of our own and one which looks into our needs more and can concentrate on that only. There are a lot of issues with being transgender in regards to legal rights and bathroom laws which would be better addressed by a group focused solely on Transgender individuals. Call me a rebel.
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| We did it! - available via YouTube. |
Monika: What do you think in general about transgender news stories or characters which have been featured in films, newspapers, or books so far?
Kelly: I think it has made life harder, especially growing up, as comedy shows and films often had a crossdresser or transsexual, as the butt of jokes and sketches, because of this most people see us as something to laugh at rather than being taken seriously. Things are moving on, with shows and books portraying transgender people in a much more positive way but to older generations who grew up on trans people being a joke subject, it is hard to change their minds.
Monika: Do you participate in any lobbying campaigns? Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics?
Kelly: I stay out of politics as my husband was a politician. I do think others better suited can do a far better job than I. There are many transgender women in politics now and I hope they can make a difference but it also shows how times have changed for the general public to vote for someone who is transgender and I think that is great and shows development.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion brands, colors, or trends?
Kelly: I am color-blind like my mother, so I tend to wear black or white to make sure I am not wearing something that is truly hideous. I am not a fashion stalwart, I tend to wear what I like and find snazzy but mostly when out I wear jeggings or leggings, you will seldom see me in a dress for instance, only at my stepdaughter's recent wedding and my own, have I ever worn a dress. I dress for comfort mostly.
Monika: I have read somewhere that cisgender women were liberated thanks to the development of contraceptive pills whereas transgender women are free now thanks to the development of cosmetic surgery, so they are no longer prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome …
Kelly: I think cosmetic surgery is great and can help you to pass far more easily, some of my friends look perfect with their changes to the facial area, some sadly went too far over the top and now resemble Joan Rivers, I say do it but in moderation.
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| Just married! |
Monika: Your marriage with Darren Grice, the former Conservative leader of the City of Lincoln Council, is such a romantic story! Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Kelly: I met Darren one year into living full time and without his love and guidance, I think transitioning would have been far harder for me. He had to put up with the early hormone imbalances as my body adjusted and some irrational behavior but he still stood by me, when others would have called it a day. We both feel blessed that we found one another, as we get on so well.
Monika: By the way, I saw your beautiful wedding dress...
Kelly: My dress was soft pink in color and I chose a slender long dress, as with being very tall a puffball type of dress just made me look very strange. I wore the dress the entire day including the evening function too.
The first thing I did on arriving home was taking it off, it had been a very hot summer’s day in June and the dress was heavy, it felt so good to get out of it. Since then it has been back to leggings and boots for me.
Monika: What do you think about transgender beauty pageants?
Kelly: I know one transgender woman who enters them and does quite well too, as for myself you would have to pay for the wild horses to drag me there but if that is what you want to do and you enjoy it, then good luck to you, is what I think.
Monika: Are you working on any new projects now?
Kelly: Yes, I am currently working on a new novel based on Alexander the Great. I have qualifications in ancient history and thought, write about what you know. I am finding a novel a lot harder to write than my first book though but I am getting there. It will be out next year sometime but in-between. I am also doing my degree in Psychology here in Lincoln to hopefully in the future help Transgender individuals to transition.
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| Trans Spectrum - available via YouTube. |
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?
Kelly: I would say if you are in the closet still, when you are ready to come out, there is a big wide world waiting for you and it doesn't bite but if you are already out and feel like things are getting too much, stick with it, it seems like transitioning is endless but you will soon be out the other side of it and living the life you wanted to live.
Monika: My pen-friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transsexuals and transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Kelly: I totally agree, do not focus solely on transitioning, as when you have finished, what you have left to do, quite often transgenders find themselves at a loss, as to what to do next because they were totally focused on transition alone.
Being transgender should not hold you back in any way. I have done far more as a female in the last few years than I ever did as a male. I am married, I am a stepmother of three grown-up children, I wrote my first book and I am doing my first degree.
Whatever you choose to put your mind to, you can do and achieve anything you wish, do not let self-doubt hold you back especially being transgender, and do not let being transgender be your only attribute.
Monika: Kelly, thank you for the interview!
Monika: Kelly, thank you for the interview!
All the photos: courtesy of Kelly Grice.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
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