Monday 12 April 2021

Interview with Marcie Primrose

Monika: Today I am going to interview Marcie Primrose, an American vlogger that shares her transition story on social media. Hello Marcie!
Marcie: Hey Monika! It's wonderful to meet you.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Marcie: I'm a gal on a gender journey. I've spent my entire adult life exploring who I want to be. It's a bit daunting to realize you can be whoever you want. Now I'm a punk-goth-pastel-fem-Egirl sharing her body with the world. I want everyone to know that a woman can look like me too.
Monika: Marcie is a nice name. Why did you choose it?
Marcie: I'm a huge Adventure Time fan. My favorite character is Marceline, a powerful sapphic vampire. What more could I ask for in a character? I shortened that to Marcie to sound less formal.
Monika: What inspired you to share your intimate life moments on social media?
Marcie: Seeing other transgender folks expressing themselves online was an eye-opener. Their selfies were gorgeous and inspiring. I had never seen a transgender person until I was in college. I barely had the vocabulary to understand the community after a single Gender Studies course. I knew that my body didn't feel right, and I didn't want anyone else to have to go through that alone. Social media is the perfect outlet for sharing my journey. The transgender community can be connected online. We are stronger together.

"I struggled for years to feel comfortable being
in public. I now have the confidence to be me."

Monika: Do you get many questions from your followers? What do they ask for?
Marcie: Whew that is a loaded question! I get all kinds of questions in my DMs (direct messaging). Most of the messages are from cisgender men trying to hook up along with a sea of dick pics. I get very few messages from people interested in who I am as a person. There is an absurd amount of fetishizing out there.
Monika: Why are our bodies fetishized so much? It always amazes me.
Marcie: To be fair, trans folk are hot as hell. There’s something about demasculinizing men that makes people feel stronger or better. In my experience men are the only culprits fetishizing me. They see me as a feminine man to control or a “chick with a dick. The latter is a term used to objectify us. It’s a bizarre world.
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
Marcie: I am incredibly lucky to have a loving and supportive network of friends and family. There are a few bridges that burned early on, but being my authentic self has attracted more wholesome people to fill the void. My parents are ‘ride or die’. My future wife is my biggest supporter. I really can't complain about my queer family. Coming out was a bumpy experience at first. I'm sure that's something most trans folk can relate to. My queer family uplifted and encouraged me every step of the way until I could walk without tripping over the bumps. I struggled for years to feel comfortable being in public. I now have the confidence to be me.

"We have to dismantle
cisgender heteronormativity."

Monika: How did you meet your wife? Did you tell her about your feminine side upfront?
Marcie: We got really lucky on Grindr of all places. I’m open about who I am on there, so we knew exactly what we were getting into.
Monika: Was your mother surprised by your transition?
Marcie: Yes and no? My mother always knew there was something different about me but couldn’t quite figure it out. I don’t blame her. I couldn’t figure it out either for a long time. It was a bit shocking at first.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment?
Marcie: HRT has worked wonders on my appearance. Being patient with the process is a struggle. What I really want is a magical potion. Unfortunately, that doesn’t exist, so this is the next best option. I’m looking forward to rounding out all over.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
Marcie: We have to dismantle cisgender heteronormativity. The easiest way to do that is to be ourselves. Education is also important from a cisgender person’s perspective. They need to be willing to put in the effort to learn that gender is a made-up concept. Our existence is enough. We need to cope by focusing on ourselves.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow or followed?
Marcie: I follow a handful of professional models in the community. They are dripping with confidence. I put myself in front of a camera without fear as they do.
Monika: Do you remember the first time when you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person?
Marcie: I’m sure I’ve met many trans folk without realizing it. We are everywhere. The first group of friends I met in college was entirely queer. Most of us turned out to be transgender. Trans folk have a unique way of finding each other. There should be a study about it. 
Monika: Do you still keep in touch with them? Did they manage to be successful women after graduating from college?
Marcie: I do! We have a group chat that is mostly cat photos now. We are all navigating our gender journeys at our own paces and surviving to the best of our ability.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Marcie: Transgender women are hurting. Some of us didn’t make it last year. Many of us are still struggling. You can find countless crowdfunding pages online ranging from transition funds to basic necessities to escape abusive families. Hoops are lined up in front of us, and all we can do is jump through them until they are removed.

"Passing isn’t everyone’s goal. The only goal
anyone should have to focus on is being happy."

Monika: The number of transgender crowdfunding pages is countless as you say, which narrows down the possibility of getting such funds. This is one of the reasons why some of us find prostitution as an easy way out, and we are quickly labeled accordingly.
Marcie: It’s true. I just recently did a shoot with a studio to help pay for electrolysis. I’ll need months of appointments to get ready for gender reassignment surgery. Relieving dysphoria costs a pretty penny and I’ll do what I have to get it. There’s no shame in sex work.
Monika: How did you start working for Grooby, a producer of transgender online adult entertainment?
Marcie: My favorite model in the adult entertainment industry, Clara Belle, is a Grooby Girl. I eventually found official Grooby social media across different platforms. They recently had a model search with about 25 slots available. I knew I had to apply ASAP and be persistent with communication. A producer eventually got back to me for my first professional shoot in my hometown, Las Vegas.
Monika: I did an interview with Yasmin Lee six years ago and she said that there is nothing wrong with doing porn or being a sex worker but it closes many other doors, as the world wrongfully judges such a behavior. Are you not afraid of this?
Marcie: I once feared entering this line of work. I had to build my confidence and thicken my skin to do what makes me happy. At this point in my life, I’ve surrounded myself with a support network to fall back on. If anything negative were to happen, I know I’ll be ok. I’m open about who I am. Those that are close to me know that I’m a sex worker. I’m fortunate to be able to have this conversation with my friends and family.

"Fashion is a wonderful world
to explore."

Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Marcie: Fashion is a wonderful world to explore. I never enjoyed shopping for clothes as a kid. Everything looked like it wasn’t designed for me. As an adult, I get to explore punk looks, goth attire, and cute pastel trends. Pastels make me the happiest.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Marcie: Makeup is still a bit difficult for me, but I think I can nail a very casual look. I don’t enjoy a full face. Eye makeup is where it is at. I love marking my eyes with colors to match my outfit. I see eye makeup as an accessory or accent for the look.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Marcie: Yes! I love knowing when I nailed an outfit. I’m confident with my style, but getting affirmation from others is always a pleasure.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Marcie: I still think about my first interview as a woman. I applied to Starbucks and met the most wonderful manager. I was frightened to express who I am because it was still early in my transition. She was incredibly understanding and made sure I felt comfortable in the workplace. All of my coworkers were sweet too.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Marcie: Do what you have to do to be safe. I’ve had to hide my identity, and there’s no shame for doing so. Follow your gut. We have to navigate through a world we are broadly not welcome in.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Marcie: There is a small online community of local trans folk that I manage. Beyond that, I don’t interact with larger groups or events. I do want to be more involved in the future. Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Marcie: Love keeps my blood pumping. I am fortunate enough to wake up every morning with my wife. My friends are a message away. My other two partners live in the same state. My support system revolves around me in the most beautiful way. I can do anything with love and support. Every goal is achievable.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Marcie: I’m no writer. Something as formal as a book is not my style. I prefer to scatter my thoughts and experiences across multiple social media platforms.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Marcie: My next step is a consultation for Gender Reassignment Surgery. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a surgery date sometime next year. After that, I’m going to save my funds for Facial Feminization Surgery. Every year I grow happier, so in the next 5 years, you’ll be able to see my big bright smile from space. I’ll break the record for happiest girl alive!

"Love keeps my blood pumping."

Monika: This is not a standard approach. Most girls usually prefer undergoing FFS first. 
Marcie: I guess I’m one of the few girls that have grown comfortable with their face. It doesn’t cause me much dysphoria anymore. My partners helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Marcie: If you have the option to share your journey, do it! It’s a scary process at first. Having someone to hold your hand through it makes it bearable. Look for online communities if you don’t have access to local ones.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Marcie: Passing isn’t everyone’s goal. The only goal anyone should have to focus on is being happy. Figure out what will heal and uplift you. It’s your journey.
Monika: Marcie, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Marcie: It was a pleasure working with you! I’d be happy to participate again. Readers, stay cute!

All the photos: courtesy of Marcie Primrose.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska

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