Helen Dale, an RAF Brat, once dreamed of being a pilot but turned to PR, advertising, and marketing while keeping her transgender identity secret. In 1998, she transitioned, losing a job but becoming the first openly transgender employee at Greater Manchester Probation. She co-founded the UK’s pan-civil service trans support network, a:gender, and earned a Butler Trust Award for her advocacy. Now retired, Helen continued to educate students, offer counseling, and volunteer with Diversity Role Models. She’s also a prolific writer, exploring themes of identity and transformation.
Monika: Today I'm honored to speak with Helen Dale, a British trans advocate, educator, and writer who’s played a key role in advancing transgender awareness. Welcome, Helen!
Monika: You once dreamed of becoming an RAF pilot, but hay fever prevented that from happening. In Krzysztof Kieslowski’s film Blind Chance, the protagonist’s life takes radically different paths depending on whether he catches a train or misses it. Do you ever wonder how your life might have unfolded if you had passed the medical and joined the RAF? Would you still have found your way to advocacy, writing, and the life you live today?
Helen: Who knows? I did, in fact, join the RAF for a ground based commission. That lasted two months as I was too immature to be given a commission at that time. Even if I had become a pilot, I am quite certain my transgender drive wouldn’t have disappeared. I have no doubt that I would have suppressed it for periods – just as I did in my actual life. I’m sure, though, that it would have surfaced and I’d have wanted to cross dress (as I saw it at the time).
That wouldn’t have been easy if I’d been living in an RAF Officers’ Mess – perhaps I’d have done what Caroline Paige (the first RAF officer to transition in service) had to do. Caz describes in her autobiography “True Colours” renting accommodation off base and the problems of keeping her activities secret. She eventually transitioned in 1999. That would not have been possible for me as I’d joined fifteen years before her.
|
| "I’ve been a member of or visited more than 20 trans and LGBT groups." |
Monika: After your RAF dream ended, you built a successful career in PR, advertising, and marketing, got married, and had a family. Looking back, do you see this as a life you genuinely wanted at the time, or was it more of a role you felt you had to play?
Helen: I’m not sure I’d describe it as a successful career, I think I basically drifted along. I hit a number of problems that I saw as ‘punishment from God’ for my cross-dressing – and, each time, resolved to stop which I did for a few years at a time but inevitably, the drive resurfaced.
Monika: In 1998, you accepted that you needed to transition, a decision that changed everything. Was there a specific moment or realization that made you say, ‘I can’t do this anymore’?
Helen: The Marketing Services company I set up folded and I took various IT support roles on power station projects around the UK eventually culminating in a job in Manchester. At the end of one project, I was told I would be wanted for the next one in a couple of months. I took the opportunity to dress full time in the interim. That project never materialised and I eventually took a job in a computer workshop in my male role. Being ‘Helen’ full time had felt totally natural and having to go to work again as male felt like I was playing a role. I’d come out as trans to the other staff in the workshop and that eventually cost me the job.
Monika: Becoming the first openly trans employee at Greater Manchester Probation marked the beginning of your advocacy career. What motivated you to take on that role, and how did it shape your approach to trans rights activism?
Helen: Having lost the job in the workshop, I applied for anything that remotely fitted my experience. I’d decided that if the position was with a large organisation or public body, I’d apply as Helen. If it was a small company I’d apply as male. GMP was my first interview as Helen – and I had a phone call a couple of hours later offering me the position. I’d mentioned on my application that I was trans and I later learned I was the first openly transgender employee nationally.
I then got involved in helping other staff in other Probation Services to transition and joined Lesbians and Gays in Probation (the lesbian and gay staff association). I joined the committee and eventually became chair having persuaded the members to extend the membership criteria to include transgender (and bisexual).
Monika: You’ve mentioned meeting well over 1,000 trans individuals throughout your journey. How did that come about?
Helen: I’ve been a member of or visited more than 20 trans and LGBT groups (often as the chair/ president) including visiting a group in Sydney, Australia while there on holiday. I’ve also counselled trans individuals since 2001 initially as a volunteer then privately. I also used to go out in Manchester’s Gay Village two or three times a week and it was rare not to meet newcomers and show them around. I’ve also been active on chat lines and forums.
|
| Available via Amazon. |
Helen: I think it’s more a case of how random, unplanned, events can make a big difference to our lives. I guess it can also depend on how open we are to noticing those events and the opportunities they offer – that said, I think we also take one path rather than another without conscious decision or knowing what the consequences will be.
Monika: That sense of unseen forces continues in Changes (2021), where corruption, blackmail, and revenge take center stage. Do you see a parallel between the hidden personal struggles in Summer Dreams and the more external, high-stakes conflicts in Changes?
Helen: I didn’t intend that to be the case. I try to show that trans people come in all shapes and sizes and, whilst there may be common experiences, we are all unique. In fact, Changes should have been my first novel. I started it in 1999 while I was ‘between jobs’. It was before satellite navigation became commonplace – by the time I went back to the story after retiring, technology had overtaken my story so it needed a lot of reworking.
Monika: In Impact (2022), Chris finds a way to live as Christine in secret, balancing family obligations and personal identity. Unlike the power-driven conspiracies of Changes, this novel seems to focus on the quiet, internal tug-of-war. What drew you to explore this dual existence, and do you think many readers will see themselves in Chris’s dilemma?
Helen: I’m positive that many trans folks will recognise Chris’ dilemma. I could certainly empathise with it – several of the incidents including the car accident, being approached by the policeman while changing and setting up a ‘girly’ flat – and keeping everything secret from the family reflected my own personal experience. I know from my talks with trans friends/ counselling clients that they are not unusual.
Monika: Imposter (2023) takes identity shifts to a dramatic level—escaping one life and stepping into another after a train crash. From the concealed reality of Impact to the full-fledged reinvention in Imposter, what fascinates you about characters finding loopholes to live as their true selves?
Helen: I know that many trans people face the dilemma of the impact on their family. That, again, applied to me and I know that they consider all sorts of options. The combination of a conservative party conference in Manchester and the Covid pandemic – and some extreme right wing activists came together and had me thinking ‘what if…’
|
| Available via Amazon. |
Helen: When the white house started to attack the trans community in 2017, I wondered how that could be dealt with. I knew there had been transgender members of the British SAS and the American equivalents. Would they take things lying down? Maybe not – so how would they go about it? What a pity it was fiction. Maybe I need a sequel.
Monika: Your memoir, A Tale of Two Lives (2021), traces your personal journey across different countries, careers, and identities. Looking at the themes in your fiction, do you think you’ve been telling different versions of your own story all along?
Helen: Write what you know! There are definitely details in the novels that are based on my own personal experiences (and some other individuals I’ve met) which ensures the stories are authentic.
Monika: Transgender Tales (2022) compiles various experiences, much like the diary you kept when considering transition. How does reflecting on real-life moments—yours and others’—shape the way you build your fictional narratives?
Helen: It certainly helps to ensure that I get the background right. I get irritated when authors don’t check the facts.
Monika: Let’s circle back to you now. How did you choose the name Helen? Does it hold special meaning for you?
Helen: In about 1974, I saw a billboard for a beauty salon offering ‘days of beauty’ for men and women. I booked a session. The salon was called ‘Helen of Troy’ simple as that. I didn’t have any friends or relations called Helen.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a trans woman on TV or met one in real life that helped you realize, “That’s me!”?
Helen: I spent decades identifying as transvestite and believing that transsexuals were quite different. When I was working away from home around 1995, I started attending a trans group in Manchester. After chatting to lots of the members, I realised that I had much more in common with the TSs than the TVs and wondered if I might eventually want to transition fully.
|
| With Princess Anne at Buckingham Palace receiving the Butler Trust award. |
Monika: How do you handle the pressure of "passing," given the constant judgment society places on our appearance?
Helen: I’m me. I belong to a number of groups who know my history and I’m accepted as Helen. That includes a gym where I do aquarobics twice a week. I change in the communal spaces and apart from an occasional glance, there’s no reaction. These days I rarely wear make-up unless going out for an evening (no point getting made up and then jumping in the swimming pool). When I first started at Greater Manchester Probation, I did wear outfits such as skirt suits, make-up and have my nails done to present as feminine appearance as possible.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Helen: It’s becoming more problematic with restrictions on treatment for young trans people and long waiting lists for adults. Neither of the two main political parties genuinely support trans issues. The national media constantly publish biased reports. It’s not (yet) as bad as in the USA.
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition that you didn’t expect, either positively or negatively?
Helen: that it would lead to me becoming as active in the community and able to help others.
Monika: If you could tell your younger self one thing about being a transgender woman, what would it be?
Helen: Public attitudes to trans people will change but it will take a long time.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Helen? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Helen: Booker Prize for one of my novels? I’d settled for a best seller – so, folks, please buy one of my books.
Monika: Helen, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Helen: Thanks Monika!
All the photos: courtesy of Helen Dale.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment