Monika: In today’s interview, I am excited to chat with the inspiring Ashley Anna Parks, an American transgender woman who transitioned at 65 and then embarked on a whole new career as an author. Through her company, Butterfly Discoveries, she has shared her unique perspective on life, love, and personal growth with the world.
In addition to her writing, Ashley worked as an assistant facilitator of transition support groups for two years with the LGBTQIA+ Center in Las Vegas, NV, where she supported others through their own journeys. Whether it’s her deeply personal memoir or her whimsical children’s coloring books, Ashley’s writing bridges generations and genders. Her work touches on themes of inclusion, connection, and transformation.
Today, we'll explore each of her five books and dive into what motivated her to write them, what she hopes readers will take away, and how her journey continues to unfold. Hello Ashley!
Ashley: Hello Monika. I am excited to be considered for your amazing blog. To be included with so many incredible transgender women in our world is an honor. Thank you for introducing me to their extraordinary lives. Expanding my awareness of other transgender women that touches our world in a positive way, boosts my sense of hope in a troubled world. What a gift!
Monika: You began your writing journey later in life. Do you think that gives you a unique perspective, enriched by your life experiences and the wisdom you've gained along the way?
Ashley: I have most certainly been blessed with an overabundance of life experiences. I have been fortunate to have traveled throughout this incredible planet of ours and to witness first-hand the diversity, challenges, and dreams of others. I consider myself a “Citizen of the World”.
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| "I did three tours to Vietnam (1967 – 1973)." |
Ashley: I did three tours to Vietnam (1967 – 1973). After the Navy, I worked as a civil servant on joint service military programs for twenty-six years. I was a troubleshooter and trainer on high-frequency communication equipment and facilities. As a professional logistics manager for a new air traffic control system and facility, I was responsible for numerous contracts. I ended my career as a chairperson for an international steering committee of five nations for a high-end joint developed weapon system. When I left the government I became an at-home-father. A tough job that was full of many wonderful memories.
Monika: In The Adventures of Giggles & Wiggles: The Fairy Tree Forest (2025), your characters embark on a magical adventure, and in Discovering Santa's Great Secret (2022), you dive into a fun mystery. What inspired you to blend storytelling with a coloring book format, and how do you approach crafting stories for children that also introduce themes of acceptance and understanding differences?
Ashley: Helping to raise four children provides an abundance of experiences to draw upon. I loved telling my kids stories, singing made-up songs at bedtime (I wished I could remember them), and exploring with them. Looking back, I wish there was more.
Each story I write has elements of true events in the life of my family. Why not give the reader the chance to participate by coloring a scene that is related to the story? I did take my kids to a forest East of San Diego, CA to run and jump on branches reaching down to the ground. To me it was magical. It is wonderful when we allow our imaginations to run wild in a positive way.
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| Available via Amazon. |
Ashley: A few years after my divorce I met a woman who captured my heart. I was at that time a transgender woman. I wanted to marry her but that was not to be. Darn! The Mystic Cabin was my fantasy of something that was beyond my reach. I am glad that we have remained good friends to this day.
Monika: Why Vote?: Because it's Your Country? (2024) carries a strong message about perseverance and integrity in the face of adversity. Would you consider it a political or social manifesto, or is it more of a personal reflection on civic responsibility?
Ashley: Probably all three: political, social, and personal civic responsibility. Before the 2024 election I drowned myself in the news and what a variety of talking-heads were espousing. I am not a one-issue person and I try to cast a broad net over the problems facing us. I started writing down my thoughts and what changes I felt needed to occur to not only make our country better but also help lead the world in a better direction. I ended up with two hundred items. Sounds like a book to me!
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| Available via Amazon. |
Monika: Taking Flight: One Transgender Woman’s Journey (2021) is your most personal book, offering a heartfelt account of your transition and life experiences. What was the turning point that inspired you to share your story, and how has your understanding of the transgender experience evolved since writing it?
Ashley: I wrote the book for two reasons, to give my family and friends my personal testimony of my transition, and also to help others trapped in their cocoons and encourage them to break free and flourish in the sunlight.
When did I decide to write the book? I really don’t know. It was my first book and all I can say is that over time I was compelled to write it.
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| Available via Amazon. |
Monika: How did you choose the name Ashley? Does it hold special meaning for you?
Ashley: On a road trip I came upon road construction that stopped traffic for several minutes. During that idle time, I considered what female name I wanted. I liked the names Veronica, Amber, Mary, Carla, Cindy, Debbie, Karen, and several others, but none of them seemed to fit me. My mind began to wander. I started thinking about my divorce and all of that despair and hurt. In a way, my life had become a pile of ashes. Then I thought about how the phoenix was a bird that could regenerate itself from fire and ash. Then, the name Ashley wiggled into my thoughts and I realized it was part of my story.
I wanted to change my entire name. For my last name, I chose Parks. I love to explore and engage with nature. I love how the different parks stimulate my senses. I selected Anna as my middle name to honor a friend who was there for me during my divorce.
Monika: Transitioning is not just a personal journey; it also reshapes our relationships, especially with those who support us. Have you noticed a shift in how people treat you since your transition?
Ashley: The thing about my transition was that I had to give those around me time to transition their relationship with me. It is very challenging for some. Culture, family dynamics, religious upbringing, government policies, and peer groups can complicate things. I had to be infinitely loving, patient, and ready to tell my story over and over and over again. It was also important for me to stand up and defend my rights in a non-confrontational way to those who opposed my identity. My book Taking Flight shares some of those stories.
Monika: I finally felt free after my transition. How about you? Is there a specific moment that made you feel like you could truly take a deep breath and say, ‘This is the real me now’?"
Ashley: I never felt I was in the wrong body. What is really crazy is that I did not realize I was a blended spirit, both male and female until later in life. Strange as it may sound, I transitioned in one day. Donation sites ended up with a lot of male clothing and items that day from the purge!
The unusual feeling that I gained immediately upon my transition was the freedom from dysphoria. I didn’t even realize I had dysphoria until it was gone. I soon discovered that the better part of me was female. Have I ever felt that I made a mistake transitioning to a woman? No. Do I regret spending most of my life as a male? No. I embrace and cherish both parts. Getting do-overs for my past experiences is not something I would consider even if it was possible. I am a tapestry of my past, both the bad and good parts, I hold them dear. The coolest thing is that I’m undergoing change every day. The challenge is to focus on the positive and shun the negative forces around me.
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| "I transitioned in one day." |
Ashley: There were close working relationships that were strained. Some were negative. I did lean on those who supported me for their positive energy and outlook.
My kids weren’t certain what to call me: mom #2, auntie, or what? I told them to do what they have always done. So being called dad and daddy in public sometimes would raise eyebrows and cause jaws to drop when people saw me responding. I took the opportunity to engage with these people when they were inquisitive. My oldest son would often tell them, “This is my father and she is a transgender woman.” I believe if we want a better world, we need to make it so.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a trans woman on TV or met one in real life that helped you realize, “That’s me!”?
Ashley: No. I never had a role model. When I transitioned I did so without a transgender or LGBTQIA+ community. I was lucky. Going it alone had to have a lot to do with being older and independent.
Monika: How do you handle the pressure of "passing," given the constant judgment society places on our appearance?
Ashley: Oh my gosh it didn’t take me long to give up on “passing”. I’m tall and very masculine, and after 65 years of testosterone, my physical appearance was cast in stone. So do I hide from the world, come out only at night, chisel away at this stone forever chasing that elusive image in other people’s minds? I decided to engage people with kindness and compassion. Some people can’t help being held captive to their prejudices.
In Las Vegas, I was in line at my grocery store. The gentleman in front of me turned around and gave me a “stink eye” as he disapprovingly looked me up and down. Once our eyes connected, I said, in a gentle voice, along with a genuine smile, “How are you this evening?” He replied, “I’m doing very well, thank you.” No more stink eye! He smiled and turned away, moving on with his day. If I want a kinder world. It starts with me.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Ashley: I shake my head in disbelief. I know there are ass-holes, maniacs, lairs, fear promoters, self-absorbed monsters, and people who profit on the backs of others. But how did so many become leaders in my government? Transgender rights are being eroded. I worry for our community because we have become a convenient target for fear. Now is not the time to shrink from bigotry.
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition that you didn’t expect, either positively or negatively?
Ashley: Becoming an author was not on my bucket list. I wanted to find a way to share my transgender experiences and journey. I found that avenue in the books I write. This interview addresses five of my books. I have two more being prepared for publishing, and working on ten other books. That should keep me busy for the next year or two. Multitasking seems to be a woman's power.
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| "I have a lot of writing to do." |
Ashley: I would say: “You are going to have a unique and an amazing life. Never stop believing in yourself.” I would not mention being a transgender woman. Life needs to unfold on its own timetable. Self-discovery is powerful.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Ashley? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Ashley: I used to travel a lot. But these last two years have relegated me to a wheelchair due to 67 falls. The medical community after all of their testing is unable to come up with a diagnosis. So I’m adapting. I have three road trips planned for this year, so I’m excited to go on more adventures. Besides, I have a lot of writing to do. I’m currently writing I’m on the Pot which is about being a care-giver and self-care. Of course I have to write a couple more books about The Adventures of Giggles & Wiggles.
Monika: Ashley, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Ashley: Thank you for the opportunity to share some of my story.
All the photos: courtesy of Ashley Anna Parks.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
A letter from Ashley's daughter to be included in her future book
"Treasure Chest Full of Memories".
Happy Father’s Day to my daddy, Ashley Anna!
As only some of you may know, I wish to share part of her story with you. A lifetime of service to our country, my dad served 6 years in the Navy, doing radio communications in Vietnam; followed by a career working for the DoD. I always asked what she did there, but got the whole “if I told you that, I’d have to kill you” reply.
Growing up, she was the person who could literally do everything. From making killer deviled eggs, to renovating the house, to building theater sets, to rehearsing lines on the couch with me, to creating a hydroponic garden with my brother. Truly a renaissance (wo)man. If I wasn’t certain at the time of what a strong and capable person my dad was, I would later find out.
In 2012 my dad officially began her transition to become Ashley. I will be forever humbled and awed by the intangible amount of courage and strength required to leave behind the person the world thought she was for 65 years, in order to live life as her true self.
To the strong woman who sang “You Are My Sunshine”, while bouncing me on your knee. Who transformed our car into a spaceship within our imaginations. Who painted constellations on our ceilings, and built fairy tale gardens for us to play in. I cannot say “thank you” enough. Thank you for showing me what perseverance, fortitude, and bravery are. Thank you for honestly the best childhood that a kid could ask for, the best dad that one could ever ask for.
Lots of Love,
Your little pumpkin
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