Alice, known online as "Alice in Winterland," is a Canadian trans woman celebrated for her advocacy, educational endeavors, and vibrant presence within the LGBTQ+ community. Residing in Quebec, she leverages her personal journey and professional pursuits to foster understanding and support for queer individuals. Alice identifies as a queer trans woman and is openly lesbian. She maintains a committed relationship with her partner, Casey Marie Ecker, a bisexual woman. Alice is also polyamorous, reflecting her open and inclusive approach to relationships. She has been vocal about her identity and experiences, using her platforms to share insights and support others navigating similar paths. Currently, Alice is pursuing studies in software engineering, demonstrating her dedication to integrating technology with her advocacy work. Her academic pursuits complement her online presence, where she combines technical skills with a passion for education and community engagement.
Alice maintains an active and influential online presence across multiple platforms. On Instagram, under the handle @alice.in.winterwonderland, she shares personal stories, educational content, and advocacy messages. Her posts often highlight issues faced by the trans community, aiming to educate her followers and promote inclusivity. For instance, she has discussed the introduction of Bia, a black trans woman character in the comic series "Nubia and the Amazons," marking a significant moment in representation. Her Facebook page serves as another space where she engages with a broader audience, sharing updates, resources, and support for LGBTQ+ individuals. On her YouTube channel, she produces videos that delve into various aspects of the trans experience, provide educational content, and offer personal vlogs. Her videos aim to demystify trans identities and promote acceptance.
Alice's advocacy work is deeply personal and community-focused. She addresses challenges faced by trans individuals in Quebec and beyond, striving to create a more inclusive society. Through her candid discussions and educational content, she empowers others to embrace their identities confidently. Alice in Winterland exemplifies the power of authenticity and advocacy in the digital age. By sharing her journey and insights, she educates, inspires, and fosters a sense of community among her followers. Her contributions continue to make a positive impact on the LGBTQ+ community in Canada and around the world.
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| "Seeing others out there, being visible, helped me put the pieces together for myself." |
Monika: Hello Alice! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
Alice: Hi Monika! Thank you for reaching out to me.
Monika: Sharing personal moments, especially those that touch on identity, love, and self-discovery, can be both empowering and vulnerable. What inspired you to open up and share your intimate life experiences on social media?
Alice: Quite honestly, other trans women doing so before me inspired me to do the same. Seeing others out there, being visible, helped me put the pieces together for myself. Visibility also helps demystify what it means to be trans. It undoes the construct people make up about us, and replaces it with the real human beings that we are.
I initially set out to do the same for others. Most people don’t know a trans person. I figured I could be that for strangers, albeit online.
Monika: Engaging with followers on social media often leads to a flood of curiosity and heartfelt messages. Do you receive a lot of questions from your audience? What are the most common things they ask about, whether it’s advice, personal experiences, or words of encouragement?
Alice: I do get a lot of comments and messages. Sometimes to an overwhelming degree. I do my best to answer all of the genuine ones. I’ve gotten a range of questions. In DMs, it’s been about how I came out and how they could do it too. Or advice on finding clothing or inclusive clothing brands to avoid the judgment or transphobic looks. As for comments, it tends to be a mix between personal experiences and a flood of support from amazing queer people and allies all over the world.
Monika: So many of us navigate the roles of wives, mothers, and daughters, often carrying the weight of our pasts and sometimes longing to leave it all behind. Yet, you’ve chosen to embrace your identity with such strength, becoming an advocate for transgender rights and vocal about presenting a positive image of our community in society. In the face of all this, have you ever felt the pull of staying in the shadows, of simply being seen as a woman, without the added layers of being a transgender woman?
Alice: The stigma that comes from being a trans woman is difficult. I won’t lie, I’ve often wondered what it would be like to live stealth (hiding that I’m trans for safety reasons). But I wouldn’t do it as it’s too important to me that people face the reality that they see, know, and interact with a trans person on a daily basis. And that I’m just another woman like any other, living my life amongst everyone. It may not be apparent until I bring it up somehow in the conversation, but it’s an important part of my identity that I won’t hide or lie about. There are places where I won’t wear my trans identity on my sleeve for safety reasons, but anyone who gets to know me will know that part of me is my being trans.
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| "The stigma that comes from being a trans woman is difficult." |
Monika: Choosing a name is such a deeply personal decision, one that can hold layers of significance and meaning. How did you come to choose the name Alice? Does it carry a special resonance for you, perhaps representing a part of your journey or embodying a particular feeling or aspiration?
Alice: I actually chose my name very late in the process. I was in the closet for about 3-4 years. And in the last few months, I asked my partner, Casey, for help. I had written out a list of names. I had three to replace (as my parents had given me three names when I was born). One of these names had to respect my Indonesian origins so I asked my dad for help with inspiration. For another name, I took one close to the one my family used on a daily basis. Though I perhaps should’ve just chosen one entirely different since they now all either use Alice or my other name.
When it came to choosing Alice, it was for a few reasons. I needed a name that sounded good in English and French (I live in a bilingual city) and I also needed to have very few associations with that name. Turns out it’s a name of a great-great aunt of mine so it worked out in a way. And when my wife called me Alice for the first time, it just felt right to me. It took very little time for me to respond to that name. I know for others it might take longer to get used to, so don’t feel like there’s anything wrong if you don’t respond immediately to your chosen name.
Monika: Transitioning is not just a personal journey; it also reshapes our relationships, especially with those who support us. Have you noticed a shift in how people treat you since your transition?
Alice: A massive shift. The way I’m treated, even by old friends, has completely changed. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not so much. If I speak on my relationship with my wife, I’ve been with her since before my transition. We went from a very straight-passing relationship, to a very visibly lesbian relationship. Our relationship has improved. We’ve always done our best to be as egalitarian as possible.
Now as for the way people treat us, it’s been more difficult. There’s this erasure that comes from being a lesbian couple. People don’t view it as valid, or they view it as if it’s for the male-gaze. We now face a lot of invisibility from people which can be frustrating. Doctors and professionals usually assume we’re just friends. Men hit on us even when we openly say we’re together. Legally, there are roadblocks as a lesbian couple that straight people don’t face. Even in a relatively accepting country. And we have to be careful if we want to travel.
As for friendships, I’ve lost a few along the way. And sometimes I feel tokenized a bit. But overall, I’ve been lucky that some of my oldest friendships (special mention to Marius, Nicopold, Naomi, and Edith) have evolved with it. I’ve reconnected with some, gotten closer with others, and they’ve behaved in ways that I would expect from anyone who claims to be an ally. To me, these friends are the gold standard of allyship.
Monika: I finally felt free after my transition. How about you? Was there a single moment, or maybe a series of moments, where you truly felt like you had stepped into your most authentic self?
Alice: Yes! Firstly, I just want to say, I’m really happy to hear it was also a freeing experience on your end.
It felt freeing as well. Nerve-wracking at first. But to finally be able to be my true self out there. To feel like I’m finally living after decades of just surviving. To see myself and not recoil for the first time in my life? All of these have changed my life for the better. I wouldn’t ever go back to the prison that was before. Before, it felt like I was performing a role. Being hyper aware of what I did to make sure I’d fit in as what people expect from a man. I just never was one. Never understood the men around me. Most of my friends as a child had been girls, and growing up, it was women I related to the most.
So to finally be included in the spaces I belong to. To be in this sisterhood, has been incredibly freeing.
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| "I’m extremely lucky that my parents are supportive." |
Monika: The journey to being our true selves often comes with a heavy price, losing friends, family, and sometimes even our jobs. What was the hardest part of coming out for you, and how did you navigate it?
Alice: Unfortunately, in this political climate, it has led to a heavy price. As I mentioned earlier, I lost some people along the way. I’m extremely lucky that my parents are supportive and I even included them in choosing my name along the way. But I lost family friends who just decided they preferred to be bigoted and transphobic instead of working out their issues in therapy. I’ve dealt with family members not feeling like I should tell my grandmother because “it’s not the right time” and that hurts. But I also believe that, if I lose people along the way, then they are worth losing. No one worth a damn in this world would be unwilling to do better if a friend or family member came out as queer.
So I think overall, the hardest part has just been telling the ones that stayed in my life, about those who I’ve had to cut out. And asking them to do better when it came to the friends they kept. It hasn’t always been received well, and I get it. But it’s also important that they face the fact that some people in their circles are not safe for individuals like me. And either they should use their privileges to ask for better from their friends on our behalf, or also start limiting their interactions with those people.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Alice in Winterland.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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