Maddie Rose is a courageous transgender woman from New Zealand whose remarkable journey of transition has inspired countless others around the globe. A survivor in every sense of the word, Maddie faced life-threatening health challenges, including a ruptured cerebral aneurysm at 23 and a stroke at 46, both of which she overcame with fierce determination and resilience. These pivotal moments became the catalyst for her to live life authentically, and finally transition after a lifetime of hiding her true self. Through her heartfelt and informative blog, Gender Reassignment Surgery – PPSI Phuket, Maddie chronicles her personal path from New Zealand to Thailand, where she underwent gender-affirming surgery. Her writing captures both the emotional and practical aspects of this life-changing process, offering a vital resource for other transgender women navigating similar paths. But Maddie is more than her medical journey, she’s an adventurer at heart, with a love for motorbikes, dogs, kayaking, stand-up paddleboarding, and beach life. Her passion for living fully and giving back to the community is evident in everything she shares. With warmth, honesty, and a touch of Kiwi charm, Maddie is using her voice to educate, uplift, and empower others, proving that it’s never too late to become the person you were always meant to be.
Monika: Hello Maddie! I’m so happy to chat with a sister from beautiful New Zealand, kia ora and welcome!
Maddie: Hi Monika, thank you so much for reaching out and asking me to participate in your wonderful blog.
Monika: Could you share a little bit about yourself and what drives you?
Maddie: I survived a ruptured cerebral aneurysm when I was 23 years old, which was successfully clipped and I recovered well, I was diagnosed with another at 46 years old, which although it was coiled before it could burst, I suffered a stroke that made me face the possibility of a life of disability. I was very fortunate that I recovered use of my arm really quickly with only minor hearing and memory loss. These events were instrumental in my determination to live life to the fullest, be my authentic self, and transition after hiding these feelings since as early as I can recall.
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| "I survived a ruptured cerebral aneurysm when I was 23 years old." |
Monika: What motivated you to openly share such personal and transformative moments with the world?
Maddie: Like so many of my age, I struggled with a deep sense of shame and of letting people down by transitioning and changing how they saw and thought of me. I was helped by other trans women who were so generous with their time and sharing their intimate experiences that I wanted to give back to others.
Monika: Like many of us, you chose Thailand, the go-to destination for transgender women seeking gender-affirming surgery. Is it also the top choice for trans women from New Zealand?
Maddie: In New Zealand, we have very limited and costly gender-affirming surgery options. As we have a ‘no fault’ public funded health system we don’t have the need to have private insurance, and whilst you can get private insurance for elective and prioirtising urgent surgery, you can’t get insurance for gender affirming surgery purposes.
The government provides a limited number of funded surgeries per year (14 were done in 2024) and the waiting list is currently 340, meaning a long wait. There is also only one surgeon in NZ carrying out this surgery, and whilst you can pay out of pocket and skip the waiting list, it’s twice the cost of a Thailand surgery. Thailand has top surgeons and the pricing is much more affordable than other counties, including Australia. The facilities are world-class and the experience is very special, Thai folk are lovely, warm and kind.
Monika: It’s been three years since your rebirth. How has the surgery impacted your life?
Maddie: It has impacted my life in many ways, possibly the increase in my self confidence and liking how I look is the biggest change to my out-look on life. I now don’t feel that I am hiding anything about myself, where before I was putting on a mask to pretend to be someone and was scared that I would be “found out”.
Monika: I vividly remember my own long consultations with surgeons, and I truly believe that the best source of information about gender-affirming surgery comes from those who have already been through it. Do you feel the same way?
Maddie: Yes, absolutely. I was fortunate to make contact with someone who had been through the surgery (with the same surgeon I chose) and she was incredibly forthcoming and open, sharing details of her physical transformation, relationships and emotional experiences. This was followed up with making contact with another woman as part of arranging the surgery and once again her experience was invaluable.
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| " I struggled with a deep sense of shame and of letting people down by transitioning. |
Monika: Many of us embrace life as wives, mothers, and daughters, often choosing to leave our past behind. Yet, you’ve chosen to be vocal about your transgender identity. Have you ever felt the temptation to simply live as a woman without highlighting your trans experience?
Maddie: Yes and No. Whilst I would love to never be second-guessed as a trans woman, I don’t want to hide from my past and as certain cues such as my voice and height give me away, I use the opportunity to be open and encourage others to ask any questions about my experience. I guess I want to normalise mine and other trans women’s experiences in society.
Monika: How did you choose the name Maddie? Does it hold special meaning for you?
Maddie: An interesting question. I quite liked it, and it was similar to my old name, which I thought could make it easier for others to get used to the name. The problem with names is that often you or others around you have experiences with certain names that are not positive, and I hadn’t any Maddies in my life or the lives of others. I always liked Madeleine as a name but have family members that didn't like that, so it’s tough to get it right.
Monika: Transitioning is not just a personal journey; it also reshapes our relationships, especially with those who support us. Have you noticed a shift in how people treat you since your transition?
Maddie: I was very fortunate to get the support of my employer and colleagues when I came out. Some colleagues contacted me directly to share their surprise of my news, and offer support or share a part of themselves that others weren’t aware of. I guess I was in a safe space, which I loved. Others just drifted away, some disconnected on social media, and others just stopped making contact. I'm sad that happened but that is their decision. I haven’t had any confrontational instances, thankfully.
Monika: The journey to being our true selves often comes with a heavy price, losing friends, family, and sometimes even our jobs. What was the hardest part of coming out for you, and how did you navigate it?
Maddie: My marriage didn’t survive my transition. My ex-wife was my rock during my transition and was with me when I travelled to Thailand but she had lost her husband and wasn’t aligned to a lesbian relationship. We remain friends, though, and have our children and grandchildren who are part of our lives. My children are all in their 30s now and have been incredibly understanding and loving.
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| "I was very fortunate to get the support of my employer and colleagues when I came out." |
Maddie: This is a double-edged sword. I do recall, as a teenager, seeing trans women and feeling an affinity with them, however, most of the interaction was on TV or movies and they were the target of humiliation as “men in dresses” or seen as deviant, predatory or mentally ill. I was hyper-sensitive about others’ reactions, particularly from my family, and based on this developed a feeling of shame about having these feelings.
Monika: Many of us feel the pressure to “pass” as women, and even after surgeries, society keeps judging us. How do you personally deal with the outside world’s expectations?
Maddie: I hold my head up, walk tall and avoid eye contact if I think I am in a situation that I am being judged or frowned at. I still feel there’s a possibility of being challenged when using a female bathroom, but this concern hasn’t arisen at all, I guess I just keep to myself and do what I need to do, as we all should do.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the current situation for transgender women in your country? Do you think we are progressing, or does it feel like we’re moving backward?
Maddie: In New Zealand, we are lucky to have had progressive and supportive governments in the past. The current regime is, sadly, less protective of gender identification and I fear that the challenges facing trans folk in other countries will become our challenges too. There certainly seems to be an appetite to make things harder for trans people and this causes a great deal of anxiety, particularly with our younger gender diverse community.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
Maddie: I have always tried to be as feminine as I can, and to dress professionally in work situations or conservatively during leisure time. Business dress makes me feel confident and it’s only recently that I have felt comfortable wearing skirts and dresses.
Monika: Do you love playing around with makeup, or is it more of a “throw on the basics and go” kind of vibe for you?
Maddie: My go to is tinted sunscreen, some powder, brow pencil and mascara. I use eyeliner on my top lid, blusher and eye shadow if going out. It’s taken a few years to feel comfortable without a layer of foundation and makeup on but I’m getting there.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks? Do you find it easy to accept compliments, or do you struggle with believing them?
Maddie: I like being complimented but find it hard to accept compliments. I’m learning to thank the person and move on, but I am so tempted to downplay what I have been complimented on.
Monika: Did you ever feel pressure to meet a certain ideal of femininity, like I did by trying to look like the women around me?
Maddie: I have had a range of wonderful, naturally beautiful and feminine women in my life and have spent a lot of time watching and imitating how they hold themselves, their poise, the way they walk, sit and hold themselves. I hold my female friends and family in high regard and have learnt from them all.
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| "The only person judging yourself is you." |
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman? Did you feel nervous, or did you approach it with confidence?
Maddie: I am lucky to have been in the same industry for over 25 years and my transition was well known in the industry. I changed jobs and employers after my transition (and had surgery 6 month after starting the new job, with their blessing), and the person interviewing me knew the old me, so that was interesting but I wasn’t too nervous.
Monika: When I came out at work, my male co-workers suddenly started treating me as if my transition had lowered my IQ. Did you experience a similar shift in how people perceived your intelligence or competence?
Maddie: I do feel now that I am talked over, but it’s been interesting when things are being explained to me that I have experience or knowledge about (building terms or mechanical things) I can play the part of someone that doesn’t know much and get more information than I usually wouldn’t. I used to have to pretend I knew about things as that was expected of a man, so in some respects, I can benefit from changed perceptions.
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition, something you never expected, whether good or bad?
Maddie: The expansion and change in my sexual preferences were unexpected but not unpleasant!
Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book, and if so, what would its central message be?
Maddie: I haven’t thought of writing a book. If I did, then I am sure the message would be along the lines of “Make the most of your life and don’t look back”.
Monika: If you could tell your younger self one thing about being a transgender woman, what would it be?
Maddie: The only person judging yourself is you. Be unapologetically authentic, hold your head up, and love yourself. That’s more than one thing, isn’t it!?
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Maddie? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Maddie: I would like to have facial feminisation surgery, I want to get fitter and slim down a bit, I am enjoying training and learning skills as an Emergency Medical First Responder and would like to further my learning and experience in this field.
Monika: Maddie, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Maddie: You are very welcome. I hope my story helps others, and I appreciate being given the opportunity to share a part of my life.
All the photos: courtesy of Maddie Rose.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
Beautiful article, love the questions so authentic and touched my heart ❤️ definitely agree we are the only ones who should judge ourselves but we can definitely be picky 🤦♀️🤦♀️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this wonderful opportunity to speak with you and share my story xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks for this inspiring interview Monika! Thanks to Maddie for sharing her journey too!
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