Emily Clark, known to her followers as @emilymadison18, is a passionate and fearless LGBTQ+ public speaker and advocate who has been using her voice, and her heart, to uplift and inspire. Since beginning her hormone replacement therapy on November 24, 2015, Emily has embraced her journey with authenticity and courage, turning personal milestones into powerful moments of advocacy. A self-proclaimed softball enthusiast, Emily often shares her love for the game with her ever-growing Instagram community of over 4,000 followers. But beyond the diamond, she’s a fierce defender of equality and representation, using her platform to shine a light on transgender issues, celebrate resilience, and challenge ignorance with grace.
Emily reminds the world of the importance of celebrating trans joy and honoring those who continue to push boundaries simply by existing. She openly reflects on the struggles so many still face, reinforcing her unwavering dedication to building a more compassionate and inclusive society. With her blend of personal storytelling, public activism, and an unshakable sense of purpose, Emily Clark stands out as a beacon of hope and a bold voice for change in the LGBTQ+ community.
Monika: Hello Emily! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
Emily: Hi Monika! I really appreciate you reaching out and spreading such positive information about the trans community. It is so important to have the correct information out there from first hand accounts to try and offset so much ignorance, lies, and hate that is being spread right now.
Monika: Sharing personal moments, especially those that touch on identity, love, and self-discovery, can be both empowering and vulnerable. What inspired you to open up and share your intimate life experiences on social media?
Emily: I feel one of the most important things we can do as a community is be visible and share our stories. People like to villainize us and when they don’t have someone in their life to identify with, it is easy for them to believe the lies. When we open ourselves up and share our experiences, it helps others to see who we really are and that we truly are no different than others. We all want the same things in life, we just want love, happiness, and acceptance.
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| "When we open ourselves up and share our experiences, it helps others to see who we really are." |
Emily: I always enjoy engaging with my followers/friends. I receive all different messages from a simple thank you for sharing my journey as it has given them hope. Just having someone to identify with who has had similar life experiences will give you a sense of community.
I will have other people reach out with questions as they have had someone in their life come out as trans and they are not sure what to do but want to be the best ally they can be. My biggest thing I try to tell people is to be respectful. If you make a mistake, correct yourself and move on. We understand that people close to us will make mistakes early in transition so the important thing is to show you see us. If you do, pronouns and names will become regular in time. Just be there for them as there will be a lot of highs and lows in the beginning.
I will also have people early in their journey that just need someone to talk things out and have a safe space to ask questions, talk or vent about things. We can be so hard on ourselves by overthinking everything we are doing. We need people with similar experiences to understand what we are dealing with internally and then what we deal with in the world. We deal with so much hate so we will talk about that normally but it is also important to have someone to know what it means the first time you were referred to as mrs or could put your hair into a ponytail, or so many other things that we experience. Our journey is just as much of the little things as it is the big and having someone to share that with is just so meaningful.
Monika: So many of us navigate the roles of wives, mothers, and daughters, often carrying the weight of our pasts and sometimes longing to leave it all behind. Yet, you’ve chosen to embrace your identity with such strength, becoming an advocate for transgender rights and vocal about presenting a positive image of our community in society. In the face of all this, have you ever felt the pull of staying in the shadows, of simply being seen as a woman, without the added layers of being a transgender woman?
Emily: I believe we all do it sometimes. Yes, I understand the people we become has to do with what we have been through but it would be nice to just go out and enjoy the day without looking over my shoulder. Not being judged for having an advantage or not just for being myself. It is exhausting everyday fighting for what most people take for granted. Even the fact that I have to find the “happy median” of bringing awareness and not saying too much. I don’t want to push the people away that need to hear what is going on because “it's all I talk about”. It’s all a lot and I would love time to just enjoy the moment but we need to keep pushing forward because the people on the other side will not stop.
Monika: Choosing a name is such a deeply personal decision, one that can hold layers of significance and meaning. How did you come to choose the name Emily? Does it carry a special resonance for you, perhaps representing a part of your journey or embodying a particular feeling or aspiration?
Emily: There are two main ways to go when choosing a name. The first is finding a name similar to your birth name or maybe a name that you would have been given if you had been born in the right body. For me, it is the second. I wanted distance between the true me and the lie I was forced to live for 37 years. I went through probably over a thousand names and made a short list of a half a dozen. Then I had my partner use them and just to see if they fit. I did really like Abby/Abigail but it just didn’t feel right. When we got to Emily, it was an Ah-Ha moment and there was no more looking.
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| "The hardest thing is losing my mother." |
Emily: I have definitely seen a difference and it feels so good. Something so simple as a man taking the time to just wait and hold a door is so affirming. This also goes both ways where I have been discriminated against for being a woman. Something I never saw coming was losing people who were important to me pre-transition to now not speaking at all. There were no problems and they fully supported me. It was just a simple situation of now being able to do what I wanted instead of what was expected of me, we lost the things that connected us. I do miss them but understand it was just a mutual difference.
Monika: The journey to being our true selves often comes with a heavy price, losing friends, family, and sometimes even our jobs. What was the hardest part of coming out for you, and how did you navigate it?
Emily: The sad part as all of that is so common for people that are trans. I have lost close friends, family, and jobs, and it has caused me great financial harm. Look, this journey is the hardest thing I have done in life by far and I have been in some very dark places because of it many times. The thing is, I was able to push through it because at least I could respect myself now when I looked in the mirror. There is no easy way out but just keep pushing yourself every day. I am so thankful to finally find a career at a company that values me for me and not for what I have been through unless they are celebrating a milestone I have reached.
The hardest thing is losing my mother. We were never close and had our problems but as she had always wanted a daughter, I was hoping this could be something that could finally bring us together, I was wrong. She did not take my transition well and had said some awful things and refused to accept who I am. That truly hurts more than anything but I had to remove here from my life for my own sanity.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a trans woman on TV or met one in real life that helped you realize, “That’s me!”?
Emily: It was difficult growing up in the 80s and 90s, as any representation I saw was always a joke or very negative. It really wasn’t until the late 90s, early 2000s that I was even able to understand what I was dealing with. I was able to find some other trans women who were posting some things online that I realized I wasn't alone. It felt great not to feel so isolated but there was still far too much negativity to ever think I could ever be myself, even if it did help me to understand who I was.
Monika: Many of us feel the pressure to “pass” as women, and even after surgeries, society keeps judging us. How do you personally deal with the outside world’s expectations?
Emily: The truth is it is still very much something I worry about. I just want to be seen as the woman I am, and sadly, that just isn’t the case, especially in today’s political climate. I am worried about what could happen to not only me, but anyone who is with me, if someone decides to take action because they don’t agree with who I am. I continue to live my life and do what makes me happy but I can never truly enjoy it as I always have to have my guard up. The sad part is, I live in a very blue area but that still doesn’t shield me from the actions of others. Then I feel even worse for my community that are forced to stay in areas that are far less safe than where I am. That is what pushes me to be more vocal, as I know I do have more protections here and need to speak for all those who don’t.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the current situation for transgender women in your country? Do you think we are progressing, or does it feel like we’re moving backward?
Emily: The situation can feel so bleak. The Republicans are relentless in their war to make us look scary so no one notices they are the real predators. I felt we were making real progress but have lost so much so quickly. I do see so many sticking up for us and starting to see our value but it is going to be a long and hard battle just to get back to where we were a few months ago.
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| "I am very much a girly girl." |
Emily: My disagreement with people who detransition is they are normally not truthful. It is well known that only about 1% of people detransition and a lot of them do it because they are forced to in order to stay in their kids’ lives, family pressure, or financial reasons. The process to transition is long and very intrusive to avoid anyone from transitioning who isn’t ready for it. I feel that when someone who detransitions speaks up against others transitioning, it is out of jealousy. No one who understands the value of transition would ever speak against it. I know a couple of people who detransitioned, and they would never speak negatively about the importance of it.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
Emily: I am very much a girly girl. I love fashion and believe that if you look good, you feel good. There is just something special for me to put on a cute outfit and attack the day. The right heels with a cute skirt or dress can give me so much confidence. I just love when I get complimented on what I am wearing. I just like it is something in my life I have control over and nobody can tell me I can’t.
Monika: Do you love playing around with makeup, or is it more of a “throw on the basics and go” kind of vibe for you?
Emily: I do wear makeup every day as it gives me confidence but it’s not something I find fun so much. It’s probably because I am just not that great at it. I would like to learn more but just never made it enough of a priority.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks? Do you find it easy to accept compliments, or do you struggle with believing them?
Emily: I did already touch on this but I do love it when someone compliments me. I’m ok if it is on my clothes but find it much harder to accept if it is on my personal looks.
Monika: Did you ever feel pressure to meet a certain ideal of femininity, like I did by trying to look like the women around me?
Emily: I just always loved fashion and was drawn to it so it is not necessarily about what others ideals are but what I have always liked. Honestly, I’m usually the most dressed up in the room.
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition, something you never expected, whether good or bad?
Emily: There have honestly been so many surprising things I have experienced. I loved doing public speaking engagements with local colleges like Bryant, RIC, Brown University, and others, which I would have never had that opportunity otherwise.
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| "I just always loved fashion." |
Something I never thought I would experience was the “prom experience” at a work gala. I was able to get my hair and makeup professionally done, get ready with the girls, and wear such an amazing gown. I had so many people telling me how beautiful I was and it felt like a fairy tale. It was truly a magical moment I never thought I would have and will never forget.
Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book, and if so, what would its central message be?
Emily: People have said I should but I guess I just don’t see my self worth. I just don’t think anyone would care to hear my experiences.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Emily? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Emily: I am focusing on my career and doing the things I enjoy. I think I still have a couple good years of softball left so I am enjoying that at the moment and looking forward to new experiences.
Monika: Emily, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Emily: Monika, I can’t thank you enough for what you do to help the community and feel grateful to be a part of it. Thank you so much!
All the photos: courtesy of Emily Clark.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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