Sara is a woman deeply rooted in the rhythms of the sea and the quiet strength that comes from surviving storms, both natural and personal. Born and raised on the island of Guernsey, she carries its wild cliffs, hidden coves, and salt-heavy air within her, shaping not only how she lives but how she cooks, moves, and heals. The ocean is not a backdrop in her life but a companion, one that has held her in her darkest moments and taught her how to breathe again when everything felt unbearable. In her kitchen, food becomes memory, ritual, and love, infused with the warmth of childhood, the joy of caring for others, and the belief that nourishment is as much emotional as it is physical. Her journey as a transgender woman has unfolded without spectacle but with immense bravery, marked by loss, misunderstanding, discrimination, and the quiet, stubborn decision to keep going.
When her world collapsed, she rebuilt it piece by piece, refusing to let prejudice define her worth or limit her future. Today, she stands as a respected professional, a devoted parent, and a woman whose authenticity has been hard-earned and fiercely protected. Sara moves through life with a surfer’s balance, knowing when to fight the wave and when to let it carry her. There is tenderness in her resilience, grace in her honesty, and poetry in the way she speaks about becoming herself. This conversation is not just about transition, it is about endurance, belonging, chosen family, and the courage it takes to live openly after years of silence. It is the story of a woman who learned that blooming can happen at any stage of life, especially when you finally allow yourself to face the horizon as who you truly are.
Monika: I’ve never been to Guernsey, which feels like a personal failure at this point. If I stepped off the ferry tomorrow, what’s the very first thing you’d insist I see, taste, or feel to understand why you’re so proud to be from there?
Sara: Take a walk along the cliffs and breathe in the scent of wildflowers mingled with the ocean breeze. Then head down to a quiet cove for a swim. Just let the water wash away the noise and reconnect yourself with nature.
Monika: What is something about Guernsey that outsiders almost always get wrong, and what’s the one thing you wish more people knew about island life?
Sara: People often confuse Guernsey with its sister island, Jersey. Each has its own unique character and charm, and I wish more people understood how distinct and special Guernsey really is. It is an English island with a French heart!
Monika: Your Instagram makes it look like you could casually cook a life-changing meal with whatever happens to be in the fridge. When did food become such a big part of who you are?
Sara: It started when I was a child with my Nan. I remember standing on a chair, rubbing butter and flour together to make pastry, it felt magical. Cooking became my escape and my way to create joy for others. Later, it turned into a family ritual with my children, shopping for fresh local ingredients and creating amazing meals, and even now, it’s still a big part of our lives. As for my Instagram, I wanted to show another side to being transgender and me. Being transgender and being me is more than just makeup and clothes; good nutrition and taking care of yourself are so important. We are under enough stress that good mental health is essential.
|
| "I love my kitchen madness!" |
Sara: Definitely a “let’s see what happens” cook, I love my kitchen madness! I take inspiration from recipes but love adding my own twist. I take a lot of my inspiration from Mediterranean and Asian cultures; it adds that spice and flavour to the food and to life.
Monika: Is there a dish that feels especially “you,” the one you’d cook for someone you really care about?
Sara: I don’t have a signature dish; I like tailoring meals to what people love. But seafood is my passion. There’s nothing better than diving for scallops, wrapping them in Parma ham, and caramelizing them in Guernsey butter, simple, fresh, and full of flavor.
Monika: Living on a small island, does being close to nature and the sea influence the way you cook and the ingredients you love using?
Sara: Absolutely. I’m lucky to have fresh seafood and ingredients just steps away. I try to keep that vitality in my dishes, using herbs and spices to complement the freshness.
Monika: SUP yoga looks equal parts peaceful and terrifying. What drew you to it, and what does being on the water add that you could never get from a studio floor?
Sara: My yoga teacher encouraged me to try it. It’s more challenging than studio yoga because the board moves with the ocean, but that’s what makes it special. Feeling the breeze and syncing your breath with the rise and fall of the ocean while immersing yourself in nature, it’s pure peace.
Monika: You clearly have a deep relationship with the ocean. What does surfing give you on a soul level, especially on days when life feels heavy or loud?
Sara: The ocean has always been my constant. In my darkest times, she held me. Surfing, whether on a board or in a kayak, connects me to that power and energy. Amid the crashing waves, I find focus and peace. It reminds me that challenges have purpose and bring growth.
Monika: Choosing a name is such a deeply personal decision, one that can hold layers of significance and meaning. How did you come to choose the name Sara? Does it carry a special resonance for you, perhaps representing a part of your journey or embodying a particular feeling or aspiration?
Sara: As a child, I started writing “Sara” in my school books as a joke, calling it my alter ego. Deep down, I knew I was different and scared, I just didn't know I was transgender or that we existed. The name has always resonated with me on a soul level; it just feels right.
Monika: When you came out, did your mother embrace you as her daughter? And do you feel any connection to her in the way you look, carry yourself, or even in your style and mannerisms?
Sara: As a child, I would help her choose her outfits and jewellery, but she never knew I was transgender. Being outed was hard and worrying for her. She accepts my reasons, but not my transition. It’s complicated, and I’ve had to accept her disappointment in me. I feel more connected to my ex-wife and daughter, they help me with style and looks.
Monika: How did you and your wife find each other? Was it an instant spark, or something that grew through shared chaos and laughter?
Sara: We met when I went to university in the UK, and honestly, it was an instant spark. We connected so naturally, it felt as if we had known each other in a previous life. Later, she visited me on the island, fell in love with Guernsey, and we decided to build our life and family there. From the very beginning, we’ve shared laughter, tears, and countless moments of support for each other, and that bond remains strong to this day.
|
| "Feeling the breeze and syncing breath with the rise and fall of the ocean." |
Sara: It was difficult for her, and in many ways, it still is. She also worries about how people will perceive her and us and, more importantly, about the impact on our children, especially after witnessing the discrimination and abuse I’ve faced. The stress and concern eventually became overwhelming, and we decided to separate. But despite that, we remain close friends and committed co-parents. Our relationship has changed, but the care and respect between us have never gone away.
Monika: Your daughter clearly holds a special place in your life. How would you describe your bond with her, and how did your relationship evolve as you stepped more fully into yourself?
Sara: My daughter and my son are incredible, and we share a very strong bond. My transition didn’t faze them at all; they were simply happy to see me happier and no longer distant and depressed. Being part of a younger generation, my daughter has friends from all colours of the gender/sexuality spectrum and approaches it all with such openness and sensitivity. She even helps me shop and gives me style advice! We still cook together and spend quality time like we always have. Transitioning hasn’t changed my relationship with my children, it’s only deepened the love and trust between us.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you met a transgender woman in person? What was that experience like, and how did it make you feel?
Sara: The first trans woman I met was on the island, and it was just a normal experience. I didn’t know at the time she was a trans woman, and we just chatted and laughed like any normal people do.
Monika: Did that experience give you hope or change the way you saw yourself?
Sara: Absolutely! It changed the way I saw myself and gave me the hope and courage to start stepping out of the shadows in a safe space. She was truly an inspiration. Meeting her helped me understand myself better and begin to see not just who I am, but the future I could have.
Monika: The journey to being our true selves often comes with a heavy price, losing friends, family, and sometimes even our jobs. What was the hardest part of coming out for you, and how did you navigate it?
Sara: Being outed was devastating. I lost friends, employment opportunities, my reputation, and even a business opportunity when an investor felt they had to walk away from me after the regulator informed them I was transgender and that they had concerns about that. My marriage ended under the weight of that stress, the fear of discrimination and the impact on our lives and on our children. We parted as friends and are still close.
At rock bottom, I met my now business partner, and with her support and kindness, I found the strength to fight back. She helped me stand up to the regulator when they again questioned my ability to meet clients in my new business venture because I am transgender, and I refused to let discrimination define me within the financial sector I work in.
With the support of my business partner, I rebuilt my life and proved that I am the professional trans woman I’ve always been, and I was able to keep providing for and supporting my family. Today, we’ve built a successful business together. I have incredible clients, true friends who accept me, and a life I’m deeply grateful for. From the lowest point, I discovered true friendship, resilience, courage, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Monika: Did your new business partner have prior experience working with transgender women, or was she naturally more open and supportive from the start?
Sara: We first met a few years before starting the business, a chance encounter. She immediately knew I was transgender, even though I wasn’t presenting that way then, but she sensed it instantly and kept it completely to herself. She’s deeply perceptive and respectful, and it was another moment in my life when I realized I had met someone special who would stand by me.
|
| "Cooking became my escape and my way to create joy for others." |
Monika: Many of us feel the pressure to “pass” as women, and even after surgeries, society keeps judging us. How do you personally deal with the outside world’s expectations?
Sara: I dress how I feel comfortable, though I worry about being misgendered. Society often expects ultra-femininity, which can make me feel like I’m failing. Thankfully, my friends and clients accept me and help me navigate this.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the current situation for transgender women in your country?
Sara: It’s worrying how much persecution, discrimination, and abuse (mental and physical) we face. With the World Health Organization reclassifying transgender identity away from mental illness, I hope political and societal views will change for the better, allowing us to be seen as the human beings we are and granting us our human rights and dignity, rather than treating us as some imaginary threat. I’m lucky to have family, friends, and a business partner who stand against transphobia and support me.
Monika: I remember the time right after my transition, it was pure euphoria. My closet is still full of dresses and shoes that I bought by the dozens back then, and I must have tried on hundreds. I felt like I had to make up for all those years that were taken from me. Did you feel the same way?
Sara: I never had that experience. For me, being outed and having my world fall apart meant I had to keep going to support my family. It wasn’t euphoric, it was emotional finally being me and taking off the mask I had worn for so many years. Through the support of family, friends, and my business partner, I was able to embrace the person I always was. Slowly, after decades of hibernation, I began stretching my wings to fly, to find that comfort and purpose in life again. I bloomed into who I am now.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
Sara: It’s definitely a work in progress! Because of the activities I love, I lean toward a tomboy, outdoorsy, surfer-inspired look. I do enjoy dressing up and wearing dresses for special occasions or work, but most days you’ll find me in jeans and a nice top, feminine without pushing it in people’s faces. My friends and business partner say I have a relaxed, natural style, and I like that.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks? Do you find it easy to accept compliments, or do you struggle with believing them?
Sara: There’s nothing better than when someone compliments my style or makeup, it makes me glow. I believe people are genuine when they say it, and that means a lot to me.
Monika: Did you ever feel pressure to meet a certain ideal of femininity, like I did by trying to look like the women around me?
Sara: Yes, I do feel that pressure. I try to follow styles that women my age and size wear so I can fit in, but I don’t push it. My style is relaxed and natural, more outdoorsy and surfer-inspired. There’s definitely an expectation that trans women should be ultra-feminine, and honestly, women in general face so much pressure to meet society’s idea of what femininity should look like. It’s exhausting, and I try to focus on what feels authentic to me instead.
|
| "Loneliness is a part of my life." |
Sara: That being who I truly am didn’t stop me from being me. I feared losing my connection to the sea, but now I swim, dive, surf, and kayak more than ever! Another surprise was being invited to beta-read for C. JoyBell C and later writing and featuring in her book “The Conversation of Immortals.” She has remained a supporter of me, and we chat often, a true friend.
Monika: For a lot of trans girls, loneliness can become a part of life. Did you ever feel that, or were you lucky enough to avoid it?
Sara: Yes, loneliness is a part of my life. Losing connections and being let down is hard. I still worry about how I am seen and accepted, so socialising is exhausting. I try to avoid situations where I will face those who have an issue with me or where I am not safe or could be verbally attacked or humiliated for being who I have always been. I find solace in the ocean and in cooking, it’s where I can just be me.
Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book, and if so, what would its central message be?
Sara: Being dyslexic makes that challenging, but I love creating content to share my journey and offer support and inspiration to others. If I ever wrote a memoir, it would be one incredible rollercoaster ride! Its core message would be this: you don’t have to lose yourself to become who you truly are, and along the way, you’ll find people who admire you for your authenticity and will stand by you and lift you up.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Sara? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Sara: My focus is on my business and ensuring that we build on our successes. We have already started to grow and have a great team who are not only knowledgeable and experienced but who support and respect me as the professional trans woman I am. We are looking to offer more resources and services to businesses in Guernsey and beyond. 2026 feels like the year I can truly be free and worry less, knowing people have my back. I want to start travelling, explore different cuisines and cultures, and just experience life truly as myself.
Monika: Sara, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Sara: Thank you for giving me the space to share part of my journey so far.
All the photos: courtesy of Sara.
© 2026 - Monika Kowalska
No comments:
Post a Comment