Interview with Becca Benz - Part 3

Monika: Within the larger LGBTQ community, do you feel that transgender people are able to effectively promote their specific issues and needs?

Becca: There has been a lot of debate here in America about whether the trans community has been fairly represented and supported within the overall LGBTQ community, and whether it would be better to separate and move forward independently. There are arguments to be made for both sides, but at this point, with the political climate so volatile for trans people, I personally feel we need to continue allying ourselves with the LGBTQ community because there is strength in numbers. Now more than ever, we need to stand together and support one another, whether you’re an L, G, B, T, or Q. Solidarity is essential in these challenging times.

Monika: What challenges does the transgender community face within this alliance?

Becca: There is too much at stake to waste time bickering among ourselves, which only weakens us and plays right into what conservatives want, that is, for us to implode from within. But having said that, it would be nice to get more support than we’ve received in the past, since trans people are the one group specifically targeted by the Trump administration. We need greater visibility and advocacy to ensure our voices are heard loud and clear.

Too old to transition? NEVER!!!

Monika: How do you think transgender people have historically been portrayed in films, television, and media?

Becca: In the past, trans people were often portrayed by the media, movies, or TV as the stereotypical “guy in a dress” or the flamboyant drag queen type, which is not representative of who we really are. For many years, the majority of Americans based their perception of transgender people on what they saw on “talk shows” like the infamous Jerry Springer Show, which only showed the worst of the worst. These portrayals contributed to widespread misunderstanding and harmful stereotypes.

Monika: Have you noticed any improvements in transgender representation in recent years?

Becca: This has gotten much better over the past several years, especially with shows like Orange Is the New Black and Transparent, and particularly the ground-breaking web series Her Story, which was written by and starred actual trans women. Society is now getting a more realistic representation of who we are as trans people. Positive representation like this helps foster greater empathy and awareness among the general public.

Monika: What impact has mainstream news coverage had on transgender visibility?

Becca: Regarding news media coverage, we owe Caitlyn Jenner a huge debt of gratitude for generating much-needed attention from mainstream media about trans people and the issues we face. Regardless of whether you agree with her political views or her many controversial statements, she has arguably done more than any single person to bring trans issues into the forefront of mainstream news and society in general. Media attention like this has helped spark important conversations nationwide.

Monika: And what role do books play in sharing transgender experiences? 

Becca: Books have always been a wonderful source of information as well as firsthand accounts of what it’s like to be transgender and to transition, such as Jennifer Finney Boylan’s She’s Not There. There continues to be no shortage of books that are enlightening and well worth reading. Literature provides an intimate and nuanced look into trans lives that can educate and inspire both trans and cis readers alike.
Monika: Are you involved in any political or lobbying campaigns related to transgender rights?

Becca: I have never been politically active aside from being politically aware and informed on the issues, and making sure I voted intelligently; I never had any desire to do anything beyond that, such as being involved in political campaigning. However, with the current political climate, I realize that doing nothing is no longer an option. It’s vital that trans people become involved to protect our rights and futures.

With hat and glasses.

Monika: What kinds of political actions have you personally taken to support transgender causes?

Becca: I have done things such as contacting my elected representatives to voice my opinion about various pieces of legislation and posting current information and news stories on my social media accounts that are relevant to the trans community. These small actions can add up and help raise awareness among both lawmakers and the public. I think we in the trans community need to realize we do have a voice and we need to speak up and let those in power know we will not sit idly by while our rights are systematically taken away from us. 

Monika: Do you think transgender women can make a meaningful difference in politics? 

Becca: Thankfully, I live in Oregon, which is a very open and accepting state and has long been at the forefront of making sure the LGBTQ community has the same rights and protections as every other citizen, preventing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. I absolutely believe transgender women can make a meaningful difference in politics by advocating for equality and representation. Our voices and experiences are essential in shaping fair policies and creating a more inclusive society.

Monika: How did you first develop an interest in fashion, and what was the process like figuring out what styles suit you best?

Becca: It took me a while to understand fashion and figure out what styles looked good on my body type, but after lots of trial and error, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on it now. Most of the time when I’m home, I’m more concerned with comfort than style, so I just wear shorts or yoga pants and a top. Finding the right balance between comfort and style has been an important part of my journey.

Monika: What kind of outfits do you usually wear when you want to dress up or go out?

Becca: I do love to dress up and wear my nice dresses and heels and go out for a night on the town, but unfortunately, those opportunities seem to be fewer and fewer. I wear classic cuts that never go out of style, and I generally avoid trendy clothing. I’m not really into labels or particular store brands; I just buy what I like and what looks good on me. I always try to maintain a sense of class and elegance and stick with simple lines and styles which I know look good on my build. Dressing well helps boost my confidence and makes me feel great about myself.

Monika: Do you ever like to experiment with bold or fun fashion choices? 

Becca: But having said that, I also love to go out clubbing and have no problem wearing short skirts and tops that show a lot of skin, lol. I had to wait fifty years to be able to wear clothes that are fun and fit who I am, and I make the most of that! Guy clothes were boring, so I really enjoy the freedom to express myself through my clothes and to have fun with them! Fashion has become one of the most joyful forms of self-expression in my life.

2015 Transgender Erotica Awards After-party.

Monika: A lot of transgender women choose to share their stories by writing memoirs. Have you ever considered writing a memoir about your own journey?

Becca: I’m actually working on my memoir right now and already have interest from a publisher. I’ve always enjoyed writing, kept journals since I was a kid, and blogged since I began transitioning, so a lot of the material is already written; it’s just a matter of filling in the rest and getting it organized so it flows properly. Writing this memoir has become a deeply meaningful project for me.

Monika: What inspired you to finally take the step to put your story into a book?

Becca: And I have to admit, the idea of writing a memoir has always intrigued me and is something I’ve thought about for a while. Now, with the support and encouragement of the people in my life, it looks like it’s going to happen! Sharing my story feels like a powerful way to connect with others and help raise awareness.
Monika: How would you describe the role love has played in your life so far? 

Becca: Love is a basic human need that we all seek. Most people look for the love of others to have meaningful relationships and to fall in love, but for many trans people, the focus is learning to love ourselves. Growing up feeling embarrassed about who we are and hating ourselves can make it difficult to develop that self-love. For me, embracing self-love has been a crucial and ongoing journey.

Monika: How has your experience with love changed since your transition?

Becca: I was married for 16 years and have been in love, for which I feel very blessed. But since transitioning, I’ve been alone, which has been difficult. I’ve always felt I need to get my own life in order before I can be ready for a relationship, but I can’t seem to ever reach that point. I enjoy having time to myself and being alone, but I am tired of feeling lonely and not having anyone special to share my life with. I try to believe that I’ll meet someone when the time is right, but at this point, I’m starting to lose hope. Still, I hold on to the possibility that love can come unexpectedly.
Monika: Are you currently working on any new projects or goals that excite you?

Becca: My main focus at the moment is finishing my memoir, and of course, writing my weekly column, “Through The Benz,” while continuously working on ways to improve it. I’ve also started the process to have Gender Reassignment Surgery next year, so there’s a lot to do to prepare for that.

Selfie, in bed, 2017.

Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?

Becca: I would say reach out to others for support and know that help is available. Realize you are not alone, there are many others going through the same thing. Transitioning is not easy, but having a strong support network is crucial and makes getting through the difficult times much more bearable. Don’t try to do this by yourself; being trans means you are part of the trans community, and we are here for each other. Most of all, believe in yourself and never lose sight of the big picture and your goals, because when you finally get to where you want to be, it makes all the struggles worthwhile.
Monika: Your pen friend Gina Grahame once told me that we should never limit our potential based on how we were born or what we see other transgender people doing. She said our dreams shouldn’t end on an operating table, that’s actually where they begin. How do you feel about that idea?

Becca: Absolutely, that’s a powerful statement. Being transgender is not easy, but it’s who we are, and we can either accept it as a positive force and motivation to pursue our dreams, or see it as a negative and use it as an excuse to hold ourselves back. However, self-acceptance can be difficult for some and often takes time. It’s important to be patient with ourselves during this journey.

Monika: Gina also mentioned that many people think the journey ends at surgery, but that’s not necessarily the case. What are your thoughts on the role of gender-affirming surgery in a trans person’s life?

Becca: I want to emphasize that having gender-affirming surgery is not for everyone, and choosing not to have surgery doesn’t make someone any less trans. Unfortunately, many in the trans community believe there’s a “right way” to transition, and if you don’t follow their expectations, you’re somehow less valid, which I find very frustrating. Everyone’s path is unique and should be respected.

Monika: With so many different experiences, how do you think the transgender community can best support each other despite these differences?

Becca: We all agree that gender is a spectrum, so it’s hypocritical for one trans person to judge another or decide who “qualifies” as trans. There’s no right or wrong way to be trans, just as there’s no right or wrong way to be human. We need to focus on being ourselves and stop wasting energy on petty disagreements. The community will be stronger when we unite to address the bigger challenges we face.

Monika: Becca, thank you for the interview! 

Becca: I’m flattered to be interviewed by you and feel honored to be included in your blog with so many accomplished women! Thanks Monika!

Through The Benz: through-the-benz 

NOTE: there is graphic nudity displayed in ads alongside my column. 

All the photos: courtesy of Becca Benz.

© 2017 - Monika Kowalska