Interview with Diana Salameh - Part 2

Monika: And your last husband?
Diana: Now the last one, my husband Nedal is the love of my life, we have been happily together for twelve years now and married for ten. When it's right, it's right. Many natural women have multi unions, it depends on if it's right. One thing I will add is that after growing up so unhappy I never wanted to spend another day unhappy if that meant ending an unhappy marriage too quickly. I finally think I have matured into a loving wife.

Monika: Were your husbands aware of your transgender past?

Diana: Well my first husband did. He was my roommate's boyfriend's best friend, so he knew from the beginning. It didn’t matter to him, never discussed it at all. So it didn’t play into why we broke up.

The Then and Now photos.

The second husband didn’t know, which was hard on me because I had to fake periods and fabricate lies for the entire marriage. A union built on lies will not last, but I loved being seen as a natural female by my husband and his friends; it felt so normal to me.

My third husband didn’t know about my past, I was legally and physically a female, and if he couldn’t tell I didn’t feel it was his business. He already had his family with his late wife so I didn’t have to worry about children.

Now the fourth and final husband Nedal, he knew when I met him online. We met in an online chat room for Arabs learning to speak English, we became friends and over a two-year courtship online he invited me to visit him in Germany where he was living. What I can say is that I feel God sent him to me and me to him.

Monika: What is your general view on the present situation of transgender women in American society?

Diana: Having lived in stealth for many years I’ve heard people's reactions when they come face to face with someone they see to be a man dressed as a woman. Most people are not really negative they are mainly uneducated on the terms for and causes of the transgender condition.

We all need to educate the public so they will understand. If you are out and not living in stealth, you should take the time to tell people who know your situation and the details of transgenderism. You can be sure they will pass that information along the party line. Acceptance comes with knowledge than understanding.

Modeling Shoot, 1978.

Monika: We are witnessing more and more transgender ladies coming out. Unlike in the previous years, some of them have the status of celebrities or are really well-known, just to mention Lana Wachowski in film-directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academic life, Laura Jane Grace in music or Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we will have more and more such women?

Diana: Of course, we will have more of these coming out as society begins to accept them more. If we can make sure through education that they learn to understand and accept us then we will have more and more visible transgender role models. But I also feel we need to make sure that what they see are positive role models and not negative stereotypes. 

Modeling Shoot, 1977.

Monika: At the same time sometimes we get horrible news about transgender women being killed or beaten just as in the infamous case of Chrissy Polis who was beaten by two teenagers at McDonald’s because she used the ladies’ toilet. How can we prevent it?

Diana: For one thing it’s not safe for any lady to be going out in public alone these days and especially the transgender woman, so going in groups will help to cut the risk of getting hurt. Also, try to conduct yourself as a lady in public as to not draw attention to yourself.

I know people say, oh we should have rights, yes we should but I have seen how some transgender women act in public, some show off and wear clothing that’s just too drag-looking. So how they can expect people to accept them. Well perhaps they should but we are dealing with human beings that have a tendency to pick up on these cues and if they are of a violent nature they might cause them harm. Safety should be our first concern when going out. We can cut down the risk by trying to fit in and not stand out.

Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime we could live to the day when a transgender lady could become the President of the USA?

Diana: No not in my lifetime and I expect not in yours. Perhaps in the next century when people become more accepting of the transgender condition. This will only come through the education of the young so when they in turn grow up they will have a totally different view of transgender people than most people do now. When people learn this is not a choice but a condition we are born with they will begin to accept us.

Wedding photo with her husband Nedal
in Amman, Jordan in 2003.

Monika: You collect antiques. How did you start this hobby?

Diana: I’ve always loved history and antiques but it wasn’t the current fashion of the 1970s, so it wasn’t until the 1980s that I began to collect in a serious way. I learned that you could buy a piece of antique furniture for less than a piece of quality new furniture and later if you wanted to sell it you could make a profit whereas the new furniture you couldn’t give away.

Monika: For many years you were a successful model. Did you like the job? Was it difficult for a transgender lady to be accepted by the modeling community?

Diana: I loved modeling, it was so much fun at the time. Also, I was never pegged as a transgender model, they never knew. I stopped modeling when I started putting on weight that I couldn’t keep off, that’s when I went to the other side of the camera as a photographer.

In her Art Studio in Mississippi, 2003.

Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?

Diana: I have never been a fashion horse. I wear what fits my body and makes me look my best which is what all transgender should do and not try to be slaves to fashion that might make them look awful. I say create your own fashion statement.
Also again I try to fit into the people I am coming in contact with so I will blend and not stand out. But if you have the body and the youth and you are in a big city where people dress in high fashion, I say go for it if that’s what you like but always look in the mirror and don’t ask other people's opinion cause they will lie to you. What you see is what everybody will see.

Monika: Are you involved in the life of your local LGBT community?

Diana: I am a member of the Mississippi Transgender Community and try to help in any way I can. Sadly I am so out of touch with modern-day medicine and most young trans know more than I do about hormone therapy and doctors who are doing the best surgery than I do. The best I can do is give moral support from the standpoint of someone who has been there. I mentor a few transgirls and do all I can to help them find their way.

Recent Photograph.

Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?

Diana: Yes Monika, I began my memoirs many years ago, but my life has been forever changing, so when I get to a stopping point so I can finish it I will and I expect it will be a shocker.

Monika: Could you say that you are a happy woman now?

Diana: I am as happy as most women who are getting older. I love myself and my life, I am as close to what I should have been as I can be in this life.
Am I happy that I was born transgender? No, who would be happy with a birth defect?
We learn to deal with it and move on. The life I could have had if I had been natural-born will never be there for me, never will I have children or grandchildren. But I am a very happy person and have no regrets about the decisions I have made in my life. I did what it took for me to survive.

Monika: Diana, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!

END OF PART 2

Back to PART 1

 

All the photos: courtesy of Diana Salameh.

© 2013 - Monika Kowalska

For more info on transgender biographies, visit TRANSGENDER BIOGRAPHIES.