Monika: How do you navigate the pressure of "passing," especially with society’s constant judgment on our appearance?
Duda: It’s terrible. In my view, passability is more of a cisgender demand than a trans one. Above all, it represents safety. Being able to use a bathroom or any public space without facing violence is a price we end up paying, even if it requires surgeries, procedures, and years of hormone therapy. I keep questioning whether the changes I’m making to my body are for myself or for society, and the answer is always the same: both. I feel good being feminine, but I don’t want to be trapped in the version of femininity that exists in the collective imagination. I want a femininity that is free, even free not to be that feminine sometimes.
But I also recognize that passability and whiteness make my life easier. They allow me to occupy certain spaces and access rights that many of my Black sisters and those without passability are excluded from.
Monika: What’s your take on the current situation of transgender women in your country? Do you think things are improving?
Duda: We live in a paradox: on one hand, we’re advancing in discussions, in occupying spaces of power, and in building knowledge. On the other hand, we remain the country that kills the most trans people and consumes the most trans pornography in the world. Despite a series of legislative and social advancements, Brazil remains aligned with the global far-right movement: the persecution of trans people.
The far-right has no plan for the people, so their strategy is to create a public enemy and fight against it using fake news and moral panic. It’s that simple.
Our existence also touches a deep narcissistic wound within cisgender society: we represent new gender categories, meaning new forms of social organization, which challenges the idea of cis men and women as universal beings. This specific point fuels hatred and actions from ultraconservative factions that see our freedom as a real threat to gender-based control structures, and this will be reflected across all sectors of society, including how science is understood.
Monika: Did you ever feel pressure to live up to a certain ideal of femininity, like I did when I tried to mirror the women around me?
Duda: The pressure comes from all sides, especially because transness is still subject to cisgender perspectives. The codes of femininity and masculinity, and the idea of sexual difference, are deeply ingrained in social codes and the collective imagination. I grew up in a family of women within a beauty salon, so my own references of femininity and masculinity were influenced by that.
So, when I started my transition process, the self-pressure was just as strong as the pressure from my sisters, mother, and friends. The trans body is a public body that people feel comfortable commenting on and asking questions they would never ask a cis person. To this day, I still hear comments about my body and my gender expression, especially in relation to my voice.
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| "Don't run from your fears. They will always be there." |
Monika: What’s been the most surprising part of your transition, whether something unexpected, positive or negative?
Duda: The positive part is the feeling of integrity, wholeness, and happiness. Finding yourself in your own body, inhabiting your own skin, and living according to your own matters fills you with a sense of purpose and joy in life. The difficulty lies in the consequences the world brings when you disagree with the cisnormative order that’s in place.
Some of the negative aspects, besides the recurring transphobia, are the interruptions in meetings, which have become much more frequent, and instances of harassment. It requires much more care in every sense, including controlling your image and discourse, because the judgments are far harsher on trans people.
Monika: A lot of trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever considered writing your own story
Duda: I've thought about it, but I've been more interested in writing about my worldview, my experiences, reflections, and how I've been understanding the structures of control and oppression. At some point, I’ll probably look at my own story with a more bibliographical tone, but I don’t think the time has come yet. There’s still so much to live.
Monika: If you could tell your younger self one thing about being a transgender woman, what would it be?
Duda: Don't run from your fears. They will always be there. You'll need to live with them and think about life strategically enough to allow yourself to be who you are. Study, elevate yourself, and become your best version. You can do anything.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Duda? What dreams and goals are you working toward right now?
Duda: I continue my academic journey within the Social Sciences and plan to make some relevant publications about transgenerity. I am currently working in three distinct fields, which should guide me toward the next steps in relation to art, cultural projects, and academic production: transphobia after death, Brazilian transancestry, and trans experiences beyond precarity and violence.
Monika: Duda, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights with us.
Duda: Thank you so much for the invitation and for the beautiful journey this interview has been, Monika. May we, as trans people, reach the heights of our citizenship and humanity. The fight is long, but we are links in a chain of struggle and resistance that transcends time and space. We have always existed and we always will.
All the photos: courtesy of Duda Teo.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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