Jemma is a transgender woman in her early 30s who began her transition at age 30. Known online as SuddenlyJemma, she has been candidly documenting her journey on Reddit, offering insight and inspiration to others just beginning their path. By day, Jemma works in a tire manufacturing factory producing colossal off-road mining tires, the smallest one towering at 9.5 feet and weighing nearly 2 tons! Her life outside of work includes caring for her two beloved rescue dogs and a mischievous group of guinea pigs.
Starting her transition was a leap of faith fueled by the support she found in online trans communities. Sharing her story is her way of giving back. Over the last 18 months, she’s experienced dramatic physical and emotional changes, from rapid weight loss and unexpected medical setbacks to the surreal joy of looking in the mirror and seeing someone she finally recognizes.
Jemma’s resilience has carried her through family rejection, the loss of longtime friendships, and the challenges of transitioning in a conservative, male-dominated workplace. Surprisingly, her job has become one of her safest spaces, a testament to the power of professionalism and quiet acceptance. She draws inspiration from everyday trans voices on Reddit as well as public figures like Michelle Hendley, whose role in Boy Meets Girl was pivotal for her.
Though not deeply embedded in organized LGBTQ activism, Jemma takes every chance to lift others up, from sharing resources with newer trans folks to offering quiet encouragement. With a hopeful spirit, she dreams of a future where trans characters in media are treated not as punchlines or metaphors, but as regular people living ordinary (and extraordinary) lives.
Monika: Hello Jemma! I’m so thrilled we get to chat today.
Jemma: Hi Monika! Thanks for the opportunity!
Monika: Let’s start with a little intro. Could you tell us a few things about yourself, both on and off the clock?
Jemma: Sure! I'm in my early 30s, started transitioning at 30 years old. I currently work in a tire manufacturing factory that makes the tires for the giant off-road mining equipment. Our smallest tire is 9.5 feet tall and weighs almost 2 tons! Definitely not the easiest job, but it pays the bills. I have 2 rescue dogs and a handful of guinea pigs at the moment.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition story on Reddit?
Jemma: The trans communities on Reddit really helped me to come to grips with my gender issues and help to give me a little bit of hope that transition might be a big help to me. At first, I was terrified that transition and hormones wouldn't have much of an effect on me. The Q&A posts, timelines, and the information there was so helpful and inspiring that I'd like to be able to contribute something back for people at that same early stage and need a little hope. It felt like a small way I could give back to the community that had already given me so much.
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| The doggos. |
Monika: I imagine you receive lots of questions from your Reddit audience. What do they usually ask you about?
Jemma: I guess the question I get asked the most is about my weight loss when I first started hormone replacement therapy. It was a pretty dramatic change for me, something like 60-70 pounds in the first four or five months on hormones! It was mostly a combination of muscle loss and cutting back on sugars in my diet. The transformation surprised even me, and it definitely impacted how I saw my body.
Monika: That sounds intense. Did this rapid change lead to any health complications or challenges?
Jemma: Unfortunately, that rapid weight loss may have contributed to some health issues late last year. I had to have emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder after it apparently started to split in half while I was at work one night. The doctor treating me thinks the weight loss may have triggered it. Of course, it was just speculation, but it was still a pretty rough couple of weeks to recover from. This experience definitely made me more aware of how quickly major body changes can bring unexpected side effects and the importance of monitoring my health closely.
Monika: What’s the most unexpected or unusual question you’ve received so far?
Jemma: Thankfully, nothing too strange! A few non-transition-related questions about where my favorite places to kayak are and other questions about outdoor activities. Or maybe asking the names of my pets. I guess I've gotten lucky to keep a low enough profile to not have a whole lot of strange, random questions. It’s actually kind of sweet how curious people can be about the little things in my life.
Monika: Where would you say you are in your transition journey right now?
Jemma: I just hit my 18th month of hormone therapy and currently am in the process of scheduling bottom surgery. I'm hoping that I'll have most of the medical side of the transition finished by the end of this year. It's such a long process! As much as I'm ready for it to be over, I'm trying really hard not to rush it too much. It’s taken a lot of patience and self-reflection, but I’ve grown so much through every step.
Monika: Looking back so far, are you satisfied with the results of hormone therapy?
Jemma: I would say that I am. It's pretty weird. I'll get a few months not seeing any changes no matter how hard I look and then it's like a flurry of changes in a couple of months. It seems like everything comes in fits and spurts.
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| Heading out for a paddle. |
Monika: That must be disorienting. How did it feel to see your reflection during this transformation?
Jemma: I don’t think anything I had ever read or anyone I had talked to about transition prepared me for how strange it would be to look in the mirror and literally not recognize myself. At the same time, there’s something incredibly affirming about that transformation, like watching a dream version of yourself slowly becoming real. Starting at 31 years old and coming from a pretty masculine baseline, it’s amazing to look at comparison pictures now. The difference is stark! Just the other day, I grabbed an old T-shirt to wear while doing laundry and was practically swimming in it, but in my mind, I still see these wide shoulders from years of swimming and weight training. It’s a surreal but rewarding experience.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models who have inspired you along your journey?
Jemma: Is it too cheesy to say the wonderful users on Reddit that came before me? To me, anyone that made their transition public, through the ups and downs of it, are amazing role models, simply for showing the rest of us that it can be done. The ones that take the time to reach down and help the rest of us up. That shows us that the worst parts of transition are worth the price for the best parts.
I guess if I were to choose a more widely known role model, it would be Michelle Hendley. Boy Meets Girl was a huge film for me right before I started the transition. It's inspiring to me to see someone be successful in such a public role after going through the transition. She gave me hope that I didn’t have to give up my dreams just because I was trans, I could grow into them.
Monika: We all pay a high price to fulfill our dreams of being ourselves. Many people lose their families, friends, jobs, and social standing. Did you have to make similar sacrifices during your transition?
Jemma: Yes, I lost most of my dad’s side of the family. They’re a pretty religious group, so naturally, my transition made me the outcast there. It hurt a lot because I was very close to them growing up, so many strong childhood memories. I had younger cousins I babysat and was close to, and it’s painful knowing I’ll probably never have meaningful interactions with them again. That loss still weighs on me, even years later.
Monika: How did your friendships change during this time?
Jemma: My close group of friends from before my transition mostly disappeared. It felt like starting over from scratch, having to build new social connections and replacing blood family with people who I now consider family. Thankfully, I was fortunate to have a few amazing people who not only stuck with me during the transition but also gave incredible support from the very start. Their presence made a huge difference in my journey.
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| The guinea pigs. |
Monika: What was your experience like at work during your transition?
Jemma: My work life was probably the biggest surprise. I have a very blue-collar, male-dominated job in a conservative and religious area, but they have been totally fine with my transition on the job. Some people are not okay with it, but they respect me enough to act professionally around me. That level of respect has been really encouraging.
Monika: What do you think helped create that kind of acceptance at your workplace?
Jemma: By and large, everyone there has been really cool with the idea of a trans person. It actually took me by surprise when HR called me in one morning to ask what I needed from them to make things easier and more comfortable. I think a lot of it comes from the manufacturing mindset, just show up for your shifts, do your work, and don’t make things harder for anyone else. If you do that, most people won’t have a problem with you. Sometimes, the kindness and acceptance we least expect end up being the ones that carry us through the toughest times.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in your country? Do you think things are improving, or is the reality more complex?
Jemma: That’s a tough question to answer honestly. Our country is so large and diverse that my experience might be very different from that of another trans woman just a few towns away. I will say I’m in a relatively good area, though it might not seem like it at first glance. There are places with much harsher attitudes, which makes the situation very uneven across the country.
Monika: Can you tell me more about the environment where you live and how it has affected your transition experience?
Jemma: I live fairly close to Atlanta, Georgia, which is surprisingly progressive for the South. I spent a lot of time there when I first started my transition, especially since my endocrinologist’s office is in the city. I live in a more suburban-rural area nearby, where the general attitude seems to be that most people won’t pay much attention to you unless you draw attention to yourself. I was scared at first that I would face harassment or ridicule when out and about, but mostly I was able to blend into the background. That relative calm has really helped me feel safer day to day.
Monika: What do you think causes the mix of acceptance and hostility that transgender people face?
Jemma: I think a lot of it comes down to ignorance and preconceived notions. Many people say negative things about trans people online or in private, but when they realize someone they know or work with is transgender, it often changes their perspective. It reminds them that we’re just regular people trying to live our lives. That’s the optimist in me talking. Still, I’ve met many trans people whose experiences are much harsher than mine. It breaks my heart because sometimes it feels like acceptance is just around the corner, and other times it feels like people want to push us away completely. It’s like riding a blindfolded roller coaster, you hope for the thrill, but you’re always bracing for the next drop. That uncertainty can be exhausting.
Monika: What’s your perspective on how transgender people have been portrayed in films, newspapers, and books so far? Have you noticed any meaningful progress in our representation?
Jemma: I think trans characters in media have followed an interesting, if not always positive, trajectory. At first, trans people were mostly treated as jokes or novelties. Think about the first Ace Ventura movie or the campiness of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. People who crossed gender lines were seen as comedic elements, probably because it was too outlandish for many to accept that we actually existed. Those were the depictions I knew as a kid, so I didn’t have much context for them. It’s been frustrating to see how limited and stereotypical those portrayals were.
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| Camping in the Smoky Mountains. |
Monika: How do you feel about the more recent portrayals of transgender people in media?
Jemma: Nowadays, it seems like stories about trans people are starting to treat us as real people dealing with serious issues. For example, the film Boy Meets Girl really resonated with me, especially as someone from a rural area struggling with gender identity. Also, Laverne Cox’s role in Orange Is the New Black portrays some of the real dangers and challenges of transition, which feels painfully authentic. It feels like the narrative now often centers on the transition itself, almost as if that’s the first step in explaining our lives to the wider world. This shift has helped raise awareness, but it can still feel a bit one-dimensional.
Monika: What would you like to see in future portrayals of transgender characters?
Jemma: I’d love to see stories where being trans is just one small detail rather than the whole focus. Characters could deal with everyday life situations, just like anyone else, where their transgender identity is an interesting tidbit but not the defining plot point. I believe we’re moving toward that point, and it will be fascinating to watch. When trans characters stop being “plot twists” and become fully fleshed-out, complex people, that’s when true progress will have been made. This kind of representation can help normalize trans identities and foster greater acceptance.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Jemma.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
