Melony: Hello Monika!
Monika: I'd love for our readers to get to know you better. Could you share a little about yourself and what defines you?
Melony: Well, I'm 24 years old. I live in the city of Brotherly Love (Philly), and currently, I'm a video blogger on YouTube who focuses on trans-related issues.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition journey on YouTube? Was there a particular moment that made you realize you wanted to document and share your experiences?
Melony: I really just wanted to put my stories and experiences out there to share with other people under the trans umbrella, but most specifically other trans women. I found that there were some things missing in other bloggers' videos that I wanted to cover or cover in a different way than they did.
Monika: Where would you say you are in your transition journey at this moment?
Melony: I would say I'm about halfway through. Mentally, I am pretty much complete in that I feel at peace with my true gender and have self-respect and love for myself, which I find very important, especially in the lives of trans-identified people.
Physically, however, I do not feel like I am finished with my journey. I still desire to finish several surgeries, such as facial feminization surgery, tracheal shave, and some body contouring. Transitioning is an endless journey emotionally, but in my eyes, it has a finite ending in its physicality.
Monika: Are you happy with the effects of hormone therapy so far? Has it met your expectations?
Melony: The results of hormones, especially in the case of MtF trans people, often do as much to the body as the hormones in the case of FtM. Hormones soften my skin and features and also help develop breast tissue, but they haven't given me the femininity that I desire for myself regarding my skeletal structure. This is, of course, because HRT does not reverse bone growth. I have noticed some positive changes, such as increased emotional sensitivity and a greater sense of well-being. However, I still struggle with certain aspects of my appearance that hormone therapy alone cannot address. Overall, while I am grateful for the progress I've made, I understand that my journey is ongoing and will require patience and perseverance.
Monika: Could you share a bit about your childhood? When did you first realize that being assigned male at birth didn’t align with who you truly are?
Melony: I always felt rather feminine throughout my entire life; this includes my earliest memories. I remember wearing my sister's clothes and jumping on the bed, playing with her Barbies, and wishing I was Ariel from The Little Mermaid.
I would say that I knew I wanted to be a girl as early as the age of four or five, as soon as I was able to distinguish the difference. I didn't understand that it was possible, though, until much later (my early twenties), and it was then that I decided to transition.
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| An editorial shot by her friend and photographer Tony Lowe. |
Monika: Many transgender girls face their toughest challenges during school or college due to discrimination and bullying. Was this something you experienced as well?
Melony: I had an especially hard time in middle school and was severely singled out and picked on by a very specific group of people. Being the soft-hearted person I was at that time, it had a devastating impact on my self-esteem, which would later result in unhealthy behavior in my late teens and early twenties.
The relentless teasing and isolation made me feel like I had to hide my true self to fit in. I often sought solace in books and movies, dreaming of a world where I could be accepted for who I am. Eventually, I learned the importance of surrounding myself with supportive friends and finding strength in my identity, which helped me begin to heal and embrace my journey.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who have inspired you on your journey?
Melony: There are a certain few trans people that I consider role models, and certain people that I look up to for certain things. I look up to the girls from Continental and Pageantry such as Candis Cayne, Mimi Marks, Monica Munro, and the late Erica Andrews. I admire these women for their poise and beauty.
I also look up to the trans people that live their lives just as normal people who have jobs and assimilate back into society. I may not know of these people personally, but I know they exist, and I admire them for that; all of them, everywhere.
I also admire the people in my life who are trans and have the courage to live their lives as their true gendered selves. They inspire me and give me the courage to go forward and chase my dreams.
Monika: What was the most challenging part of coming out for you?
Melony: The hardest thing about coming out was watching my family feel as if part of me died as I transitioned. That sadness and grief, it was hard for me to watch them experience that, especially because I was directly responsible for it.
It felt like I was losing not only their acceptance but also the person I had been in their eyes. I wanted to be true to myself, but the pain I saw in them made it incredibly difficult. Ultimately, I realized that this journey was about finding my authentic self, and I hoped that, in time, they would come to understand and accept me for who I truly am. Their love is still important to me, and I believe that with patience, healing is possible for all of us.
Monika: How do you perceive the current situation of transgender women in American society? Do you think progress is being made, or are there still major challenges to overcome?
Melony: Currently, I think most Americans have a warped and distorted view of transgender women. I feel as if the general consensus is that most trans women are those who have transitioned later in life, who had already built lives beforehand and then, in the process of transitioning, tore them down or caused significant collateral damage to the lives of those around them.
Usually, when I find people discussing trans women, cisgender people are under the impression that most trans women are easy to point out and fail to pass in society as women. I find all of this sad and not entirely true. While I do believe there is a large part of the trans community who does transition later in life, I also know from personal experience that there are a lot of younger trans people out there as well, people who transitioned in their twenties, teens, or even before puberty, entirely negating the effect of secondary sexual characteristics of the gender they are trying to escape.
I also know that there are a lot of trans people who pass just fine and blend into society without even pulling a second glance from anyone. I also believe that most Americans feel that trans women can't be beautiful. This is also a falsehood; there are many gorgeous trans women out there.
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| Another picture by Tony Lowe. |
The last view, which may, unfortunately, have more of a thread of truth to it than any other viewpoint, is that trans women are highly prevalent in the sex industry. Unfortunately, this is a widespread issue, and I believe it's because the treatments and surgeries that trans women seek are so expensive that it's hard for them to afford them apart from selling themselves. Jobs are harder to land and maintain when you are trans, and this just pushes more trans people into a line of work that should be something chosen out of pure choice rather than desperation.
Monika: We're seeing an increasing number of transgender women coming out and gaining visibility, with some achieving celebrity status in fields like film, modeling, academia, music, and acting, like Lana Wachowski, Jenna Talackova, Kate Bornstein, Laura Jane Grace, and Candis Cayne. Do you believe this trend will continue, leading to even more transgender women breaking barriers in various industries?
Melony: Yes, I believe that as our society becomes more and more exposed to trans-related issues and people, more and more trans people will feel comfortable enough to come out of living stealth lives. I believe more trans women will achieve and strive to do greater things in their communities, such as becoming authors, actresses, models, doctors, and lawyers, etc.
This visibility not only inspires others but also helps to challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about transgender individuals. As we see more representation in mainstream media, it becomes easier for younger generations to envision themselves in these roles. I hope that this trend will lead to increased acceptance and understanding, creating a more inclusive environment for everyone. Ultimately, the success of these individuals can pave the way for future generations to follow their dreams without fear.
Monika: Do you think we might see a day in our lifetime when a transgender woman could be elected President of the United States? What are your thoughts on the possibility of this happening?
Melony: In our lifetime? No, I doubt that will happen, and not for reasons of tolerance per se, but more so for the reason that politicians usually arrive in the form of the 1%, and the probability of someone who could be a politician also being trans and then getting elected president on top of it is slim. You may have better luck taking a quarter to Vegas in hopes of winning millions.
Monika: Are you a fan of fashion? What styles do you typically gravitate towards, and do you have any favorite designs, colors, or trends that inspire your wardrobe?
Melony: I love fashion, actually! I enjoy sewing my own outfits from time to time. Normally, I buy my clothes already made, though. I strive for very classic and sophisticated looks that have Victorian, Bohemian, Avant-Garde, and Fantasy-based influences.
I enjoy very feminine silhouettes with tight waists. As far as colors, since I'm extremely fair and red-haired, I wear jewel and earth tones. I tend to stay away from things that are overly bright unless it's summer, and I tend to stick with blues, greens, and browns.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you see them as a positive platform for representation and empowerment?
Melony: I enjoy the pageantry that trans women partake in. I myself participate in them as well and love it! I love everything about them, from the gowns, makeup, and jewelry to the talents and creative expressions. I also think it's a good way to foster a positive, uplifting community, which brings girls together.
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| The most recent picture she took of herself. |
Monika: Are you actively engaged in your local LGBT community? If so, how do you participate and contribute?
Melony: Before I moved to Philly from Detroit, I was pretty involved with the community. Only very recently have I started to involve myself in the community here in Philadelphia. I perform as a showgirl under the pseudonym Melony VonKruz and have recently started putting myself into the entertainment scene in Philly. As far as activism goes, I tend to keep to myself in supporting LGBT issues, supporting from home by signing petitions and voting.
Monika: Do you envision getting married and starting a family one day? What role does love play in your life, and why is it important to you?
Melony: I actually hope to get married and have a family one day, yes. I believe humans are social creatures who thrive on interaction with each other, and this doesn't change when you are trans.
I am currently dating someone in my life very seriously. We love each other very much and have talked about marriage and raising a family together. My partner just so happens to be trans as well; he is an FtM, while I'm an MtF. We even talked about conceiving our own children one day and raising our own biological children. Love is a fundamental part of my life, providing me with support and strength during challenging times. I cherish the bond we share, as it allows us to grow together and create a future filled with hope and happiness.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are hesitant about transitioning early due to fears of discrimination and hatred?
Melony: My recommendation would be to realize your fear and accept it. You will always face discrimination in your life, if not for one thing, then for another. The sooner you can take your fears and accept them and then move past them, the sooner you will be able to start living your life. Be courageous!
Remember, courage isn't the lack of fear but rather the acknowledgment of it and the willpower to move past it. If you have the option of transitioning young, then by all means, don't wait. Time is a one-way moving force that is unforgiving to people and their bodies, specifically to trans-identified youth. Don't let time rob you of what you can still partake in.
Monika: What are your immediate goals moving forward, and where do you envision yourself in the next 5 to 7 years?
Melony: In the next 5-7 years, I will have finished my bachelor's and have hopefully been working in my desired field for a couple of years. My goal is to complete my transition by finally getting around to my cosmetic procedures to further feminize my face and body. Hopefully, I will be ready to start my family by that time as well.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Melony: Yes, I am a happy woman. I find that happiness comes from within, and no matter what our circumstances are, happiness is a perpetual choice we have and certainly a lifestyle I choose for myself. I believe that surrounding myself with supportive people and engaging in activities that bring me joy have contributed to my happiness. It's important to celebrate the little moments in life and to keep pushing forward, even when faced with challenges.
Monika: Melony, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Melony: Thank you for your time and questions it was a pleasure answering them for you. Peace and Love.
All the photos: courtesy of Melony VonKruz
