Volunteering is a big part of her life, from leading a monthly trans women’s discussion group at the LGBT Center to creating an online space for trans resources. Outside activism, Brooke is an artist and musician who describes herself as a “jack of all trades.” She embraces her polyamorous identity and values love in all its forms. While she doesn’t follow traditional marriage norms, she’s passionate about creating meaningful connections. Brooke’s ultimate goal is to improve her financial stability, travel the world, and continue to uplift the transgender community. With her optimistic outlook and commitment to activism, Brooke is building the life she’s always dreamed of, one that is authentic, fulfilling, and unapologetically her own.
Monika: Hi Brooke! It's a real pleasure to have you here today. I’ve been following your journey, and I’m so excited to dive into your story. How are you feeling about sharing your experiences with us?
Brooke: Hi Monika! Thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited too, it’s always a great feeling to talk about my journey, especially if it helps others. I’m doing well, and I’m happy to be here to share a bit about my experiences and the path I’ve been on.
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| Right before her performance in 'The Vagina Monologues'. |
Monika: Can you tell us a little about yourself? What's your story and what drives you?
Brooke: Sure! I’m a 28-year-old pre-op trans woman living in sunny San Diego, California. I work as the Communications and Consumer Marketing Manager at a telemedical start-up called EXUSMED. When I’m not working, I’m deeply involved in volunteering with non-profits and events, making music, and creating digital art. I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades, but I’ve definitely mastered a few along the way!
Monika: What inspired you to document your transition on YouTube, and what do you hope others take away from your story?
Brooke: I’ve always felt compelled to share who I am with others, and I thought my story might empower others, just as it has empowered me. Exposing myself to the world gave me a sense of pride, and when you find yourself and work toward an end goal, it’s incredibly rewarding. I wanted to share that process with the world. Plus, I was seeking solidarity, and posting a timeline video seemed like a great way to connect with others.
Monika: Can you describe where you are in your transition right now? What steps have you taken, and what’s next for you?
Brooke: I’ve been on hormones for over two years now. I rarely get misgendered anymore, and for the most part, people see me as a woman. I’m very confident in my female voice, which has definitely helped me in passing, though I only use it when necessary. I’m now looking forward to moving on to my surgeries. Even though my insurance covers SRS, it will likely be the last surgery I get. To be honest, I’m in no rush for that. At this point, my focus is on my breast augmentation and facial feminization surgery.
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| The headshot as of 29 July 2013. |
Brooke: I’m really happy with the results! The only thing I wish I had more of is boobs, haha. But I think that's something a lot of girls feel, so I’m not alone in that.
Monika: Could you share some details about your childhood? When did you first realize that you didn’t identify with being a boy or a man?
Brooke: I was raised in a traditional Irish and Portuguese Catholic household in Madera, a small farming community in California. Growing up, I was a star athlete in football and soccer, and I was also involved in things like G.A.T.E. and Academic Decathlons. There were always high expectations placed on me, which I felt throughout my childhood, and those expectations often influenced the decisions I made. The first time I realized I was born in the wrong body was when I was 8 years old. My sister, brother, myself, and the neighbor’s three kids decided to play dress-up as the opposite sex. From that moment on, I couldn't stop thinking about how I could change my sex and become the girl I was always meant to be.
Monika: Many transgender women experience significant challenges and discrimination during their time at school, college, or university. Did you face similar difficulties, or did your experience differ?
Brooke: No, I didn’t want to face harassment or discrimination at school, so I chose not to transition during that time. It’s something I regret now, but I believe everything happens when it’s meant to. I did still encounter discrimination, but it was more random and usually in public places.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who inspire you, or do you follow anyone in the transgender community for guidance?
Brooke: I really admire Maria Roman! I first saw her speak at San Diego’s 10th Annual Transgender Day of Empowerment, and I’ve been inspired ever since. But to be honest, I don’t follow any specific transgender role models. My main focus is on helping people in whatever way I can.
Monika: What do you consider to be the most challenging aspect of your coming out process?
Brooke: The hardest part for me was letting go of the privileges I had as a white man, especially the way my appearance had opened doors for me. I thought that once I transitioned, I wouldn’t be seen as attractive anymore. I worried that being a taller woman wouldn’t be as appreciated as smaller, cuter women. I also feared finding clothes, shoes, and other things would be difficult. But I was completely wrong about that!
Monika: How do you view the current situation of transgender women in American society?
Brooke: There’s still a lot of work to be done. Transgender women continue to be overly sexualized and face discrimination, even in spaces that are meant to be safe. Achieving stable employment while also affording gender-affirming surgeries is a challenge. Many transgender women are forced to resort to escorting just to make ends meet and pay for these procedures, this should not be the only option available to us.
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| In the dress at a Trans Pride fundraiser, June 2013. |
In my opinion, we desperately need socialized healthcare in the U.S. Housing is another major issue that many transgender people face. One of the most glaring problems is the fact that transgender people are still banned from serving in the military, which is deeply unjust. Many transgender people in the armed forces wish they could transition but are too afraid of losing their benefits or jobs. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy only allowed gay and lesbian service members to serve openly, but it didn’t extend that right to transgender individuals.
On a more positive note, it’s encouraging to see more transgender women appearing in the media, movies, music, and other platforms, over the last few years. This visibility is a step forward for transgender women, helping to shape a more positive public perception.
Monika: We are seeing more and more transgender women coming out, and many of them are gaining significant recognition. Unlike in previous years, some have become well-known celebrities in their respective fields, such as Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we will continue to see more transgender women gain visibility in the media?
Brooke: Absolutely! I believe we’ll witness a surge of transgender people in the media, movies, and music over the next five years. Transgender individuals are incredibly creative and resilient, many of us thrive through challenges that most people will never experience. That inner strength often pushes us to succeed beyond expectations, and it will only help increase our visibility in the coming years. The world is finally starting to take notice, and it's inspiring to see more transgender women rising to the forefront.
Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime, we could see the day when a transgender woman could become the President of the United States?
Brooke: That’s optimistic, to say the least, but I think anything is possible. Transgender people tend to have higher IQs and are more driven to achieve our goals, despite the odds. Because of this, I believe it’s possible, but I don’t think the odds are great. It took forty-four presidents before we had one who wasn’t an old white man. I think if we have a female president soon, then maybe a transgender president could happen in my lifetime.
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| The main group of volunteers that worked the T-Spot (transgender, genderqueer, and intersexed community resource and educational booth) in 2013. |
Monika: Are you into fashion? What kind of outfits do you typically wear? Do you have any favorite designers, colors, or trends?
Brooke: Yeah, I guess so... I like to look good, but I don’t care about the brand or where I get my clothes or accessories. I actually shop at the $10 mall a lot and still get plenty of compliments on my outfits. I’m a simple girl, jeans and shirts in the winter, and skirts with small tops in the summer. I wear cute collared shirts and pencil skirts when I go to the office. I love getting all dolled up to go out, and I usually wear a sexy short dress. I love deep, rich colors like red, purple, and black. I choose never to follow trends, I just wear what I like, when I like.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they play an important role, or should transgender women be included in mainstream pageants instead?
Brooke: I think they are just like all other pageants. If it makes people happy, we should have them. I don’t think we need to segregate ourselves, though, I think we should integrate into regular pageants. Take Jenna Talackova, she is a perfect example. I understand that for some trans people, having a transgender pageant might feel safer, and they might be more confident in such a setting. Either way, they aren’t really my cup of tea, but I support them nonetheless.
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| On her way to the rally for the repeal of Prop 8! |
Monika: Are you actively involved in your local LGBT community? If so, could you tell us more about the roles you play and the initiatives you're part of?
Brooke: I am very involved with my local community as the Chairwoman for San Diego Pride’s Community Advisory Council and the coordinator for Pride’s trans, genderqueer, and intersex contingent, as well as its educational booth. I’m also on the board of the S.G. Reichen Trans Assistance Fund, which helps struggling trans people with small expenses (i.e. hormones, binders, clothing, some housing help, etc.). I run a trans women’s discussion group once a month at the LGBT Center while also making reports for the Equality News Network. I have a community website where I share my story and provide resources from across the U.S. I’m involved in a few other trans projects locally, but I think I’ve named enough, lol.
Monika: Do you see yourself getting married and starting a family one day? And what role does love play in your life?
Brooke: I don’t know if I will ever get married. It’s a nice idea, but I’m not into traditional marriage. I’m polyamorous, which makes marriage and family life a bit more complicated. I think love is very important. Loving myself allows me to truly love someone else. I believe it’s a part of life I cannot live without on a daily basis. Though love can hurt, I will always embrace it.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid of transitioning early, or worried about facing discrimination and hatred?
Brooke: Move to a big city where you can find a trans community. We were all afraid to start. Shoot, it scared me so much before I transitioned that I turned down earlier chances to start HRT, even when my family was supporting me. It’s amazing how, once I started, I thought, “Why didn’t I begin this sooner?” I was scared. Nothing worthwhile in life is easy, and nothing has been more worthwhile than transitioning.
Monika: What are your current goals, and where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Brooke: Fixing my life would be at the top of my list. I was bad with finances when I was younger, and it has caused me problems later in life. I’m planning to fix all of that and start saving up to travel the world. I’ll get my boobs done at the end of this year and my FFS sometime next year. In about 3–7 years, I plan to get my SRS. I also want to buy a house in about five years, with a big yard that I can landscape into a beautiful world of its own. I see myself becoming more and more involved with the trans community here in San Diego and Southern California. Volunteering has become a true passion of mine!
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| The recent picture at work. |
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Brooke: Yes! I am truly happy for the first time in my life. I have my bad days, but they are far outweighed by all the good ones. I look with optimism to what the future has in store for me.
Monika: Brooke, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Brooke Sullivan.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
