Eden: Hello Monika, thank you so much for having me here and giving me the opportunity to appear on your blog!
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Eden: Where to start... I am 22 years young, born in Greece but living in Belgium since 2001 and I am in a relationship with Do for the past 3.5 years. I spend a lot of time crafting and making YouTube videos.
Monika: Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?
Eden: I’ve started a craft channel on YouTube a year ago before I was on HRT and a lot of people started noticing that I was slowly changing. Also, I was about to get facial feminization surgery so I felt the need to talk about what was going on because my subscribers would notice it anyway so I created a new channel, which was going to be all about my transition.
The main reason is that I want to help other trans girls out there by giving them information and answers about transitioning and also, I hope to educate people about this topic, especially those who have no experience with the subject; to help them understand, accept us the way we are and let them see what we’re going through.
Monika: At what point in your transition journey are you right now, and how does it feel to be at this stage?
Eden: At this point, I’m right at the beginning. I’ve started hormone replacement therapy about a month and a half ago, so I have a pretty long way to go! It’s very exciting though, and I am so happy to be going through this. There are moments where I’m still adjusting to the changes, but they feel like small victories. I’m also learning more about myself as I progress, which has been both challenging and rewarding. The support from friends and the transgender community has been invaluable in helping me feel like I’m not alone on this journey. There’s a lot of hope and anticipation about how I’ll grow over the next few months and years. I’m taking it one step at a time, and each day brings new experiences.
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| 3 months after her FFS. |
Monika: Are you happy with the changes hormone therapy has brought so far, and how has it affected you both physically and emotionally?
Even though I’m just at the beginning, I’ve already changed a lot. I don’t mean only by the way that I look, but also mentally, I feel so much happier with myself, more confident, and for the first time in my life, I’m starting to love my body. I also look at things differently. More positive and less judgmental. The way I view the world and people has shifted too, I'm learning to embrace both the good and bad with a new perspective. It’s like I’m seeing things through a lens of self-acceptance, and that’s incredibly freeing. Of course, there are still tough days, but the good moments really outweigh them. The small changes, like feeling more aligned with myself, make it all worth it. I’m excited to see where this journey takes me, and I’m hopeful for what’s to come.
Monika: Could you describe your childhood? When did you feel for the first time that you should not be a boy or man?
Eden: I started experimenting with make-up at the age of 17. I used to lock myself up in my grandma’s bathroom (I was adopted by her after my mom died when I was 14 years old) and used to play with her make-up. She never knew about this. I felt disgusted and was ashamed to tell anyone. So I kept doing this in private, where nobody could see me.
I left my grandparents' home at the age of 18 and rented an overpriced “shoebox” in the big city. It’s there where I actually found myself and finally had the guts to show myself like this in public. I started wearing more extreme make-up, everything over the top and a bit drag queen’ish/goth. I felt great by expressing myself like this. I bought clothes from the male sections and also from the female sections. I felt great by looking androgynous and gender was not an issue for me back then.
But things changed. At the age of 20, my body started to become more masculine. Facial and body hair started growing, my shoulders got bigger; I just didn’t like the person I saw in the mirror anymore. I had a year where I couldn’t sleep at night. I kept awake thinking about myself, starting HRT, and becoming a woman. Thoughts that scared me so much because I was so afraid not to be accepted by the people around me and because I was ashamed about myself, being this way.
So one of these sleepless nights, I was lying next to my boyfriend who slept and woke him up at three in the morning and told him everything. He obviously was shocked! He did not expect this but I knew that he would stay by my side whatever happens. And he still is after three years.
So one of these sleepless nights, I was lying next to my boyfriend who slept and woke him up at three in the morning and told him everything. He obviously was shocked! He did not expect this but I knew that he would stay by my side whatever happens. And he still is after three years.
Monika: For many transgender individuals, school, college, or university can be a particularly difficult time, filled with discrimination and challenges. Did you experience anything similar during that time, or were you fortunate to avoid those struggles?
Eden: I came out a year after I graduated, so I luckily didn’t have to deal with any of this. Even though I’m sure the people in my class would have accepted it completely. We had a great relationship with each other, and I still have contact with them. I feel really fortunate in that regard. However, I know a lot of others didn’t have the same experience, and it breaks my heart to hear about those struggles. I think it’s a testament to the importance of building supportive and inclusive environments, both at school and beyond. I didn’t have the added stress of that, but I can only imagine how much courage it takes for those who do. I’m really proud of the way society is changing, though, and hope that more people can experience the kind of acceptance I was fortunate to have.
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| 3 or 4 years old in her godmother's garden. |
Monika: Are there any transgender role models who have inspired you or who you look up to as you navigate your journey?
Eden: Definitely, the wonderful and beautiful Miss Carmen Carrera. I fell in love with her after seeing her on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and when I found out that she started hormone replacement therapy, I was like, 'Hell yeah!' It’s so great having such a wonderful individual being a role model for so many others! Her confidence and authenticity really resonate with me. I also admire how she’s been so open about her journey, which helps normalize the process for people like me. Watching her embrace her transition has made me feel more at peace with my own. It’s empowering to see someone so unapologetically themselves and succeeding in the way she has. It gives me hope for my future and a sense of community in this shared experience.
Monika: What was the most challenging part of your coming out process, and how did your loved ones react?
Eden: Telling my grandparents and younger brother about this. I actually came out to them after a year of going to the gender clinic and two weeks before I got my facial feminization surgery. Way too late, so they didn’t really have a lot of time to process. Sadly, I can’t really say that they’re happy with my decision, but they know that they’ll have to accept it to make me happy. It was hard because I had always been close to them, and I didn’t want to hurt them. I think they’re still coming to terms with it, but I hope they’ll eventually see how much happier I am now. The silence after I told them was deafening, and it felt like there was so much unsaid. I gave them space to process, but it’s been an emotional journey for all of us. I’ve learned to give them time, but it’s also taught me that my happiness is worth fighting for, even if it’s hard for others to understand at first.
Monika: What’s your perspective on the current situation of transgender women in Belgium, both in terms of rights and societal acceptance?
Eden: Transgender people have the same rights as any other person here in Belgium, but I feel like we should get more help to defend ourselves when we get discriminated against. Belgians are pretty open-minded, but when it comes to transgender individuals, I feel like they don’t know much about us and can be quick to judge or make fun of us. There’s still a lot of education that needs to happen, especially in everyday spaces like work, school, and even healthcare. I’ve personally experienced moments where people just don’t know how to approach the topic of being transgender, and it can lead to uncomfortable situations. But I also see that there are progressive groups and activists working hard to shift these attitudes, which gives me hope. I think things are slowly improving, but we’re still a long way from full acceptance. It’s important that the general public becomes more informed, and that we keep advocating for our rights.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Eden: I have a love/hate relationship with fashion. I actually hate it. I feel like there are so many beautiful things out there you can wear so there’s no need to follow trends or wearing designer clothes all the time. I have a huge love for black since I was a teenager.
Everything I own is mostly black, tight, skinny clothes and I usually like to wear oversized cardigans for a vampy look. I have also a passion for beautiful shoes, especially those Jeffree Campbell heels but unfortunately, the costs of my transition are so high and make it a bit hard for me to spend so much money on shoes.
Monika: What do you think about transgender beauty pageants?
Eden: I don’t really like pageants because I feel like a person should not be compared to another to see who makes the most beautiful one because we’re all beautiful in our own way and beauty is different for everyone. But on the other side, I’m happy that transwomen get the chance to participate in them since they’re not allowed to be in “normal” pageants. With which I obviously do not agree.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of your local LGBT community?
Eden: Not really. The only way I try to have contact with people from the LGBT community is via the internet, and that mostly with other transgendered girls to share experiences.
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| On a school trip to Barcelona. |
Monika: Do you intend to get married and have a family? Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Eden: Love is really important for me since I didn’t really experience it the way I should when I was younger.
I moved from Greece to Belgium after my parents’ divorce when I was 8 years old. I and my brothers got bullied a lot when we moved to this country and we never fit in anywhere. The bad relationships my mom had with horrible men back in the days who made us suffer so badly and her death brought the entire family a lot of tears and sorrow.
After that, growing up in a boarding school for 6 years and over the weekends at grandma’s house was not really pleasant. I didn’t have a good relationship with my mom’s parents and I never felt like I had someone who loved me or I could love. When I got my first serious relationship at the age of 17 and came out to my Greek family as gay they were so ashamed of me that I stopped existing for them. I haven’t talked with my dad and brothers for almost 4 years.
At this point, the only thing I can do is build up my own family to love and be happy with. I am so blessed for having an amazing boyfriend who has been there for me even before he knew about me wanting to become the other sex, and supported me like no one else did from the beginning. I never felt love so strong as I do for him. The first person who ever made me feel special and good enough for others.
At this point, the only thing I can do is build up my own family to love and be happy with. I am so blessed for having an amazing boyfriend who has been there for me even before he knew about me wanting to become the other sex, and supported me like no one else did from the beginning. I never felt love so strong as I do for him. The first person who ever made me feel special and good enough for others.
Monika: What would you recommend to transgender women that are afraid of early transition, discrimination and hatred?
Eden: It’s normal to be afraid at the beginning. Starting your transition is a big deal and should be well thought through. You should not let people around you make the decision for you. That’s up to you because it’s all about you being happy in the end. I wish I knew this much sooner so that I would have started my transition much earlier. About discrimination and hatred: People will always find something to make fun of you if it’s really their intention. Just believe in yourself and don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re not beautiful, because you are!
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Eden: Since I’ve started my transition I had a hard time finding a job but I don’t give up hope and I keep trying. Besides that, I am considering going back to school to become a nurse, find a good job and buy a house to make it our home, and build a happy life with Do.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Eden: Definitely.
Monika: Eden, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Eden Dintsikos.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
