Monika: Today’s interview will be with Phoebe, a young American video blogger that documents her transition on YouTube as Ask Phoebe, previously known as Sammy12534. Hello Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hi! It’s great to be here today.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Phoebe: Well I’m very outgoing and some say that I’m very confident but all I see is a shy girl that speaks her mind.
Monika: Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?
Phoebe: I was just tired of keeping it all to myself and I wanted more opinions from people from around the world.
Phoebe: Hi! It’s great to be here today.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Phoebe: Well I’m very outgoing and some say that I’m very confident but all I see is a shy girl that speaks her mind.
Monika: Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?
Phoebe: I was just tired of keeping it all to myself and I wanted more opinions from people from around the world.
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| Phoebe and her nephew Rylan on Christmas. |
Monika: At which stage of the transition are you right now?
Phoebe: Well right now I’m just living my life as a crossdresser but I am hoping to start hormones soon.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the results of the hormone therapy?
Phoebe: Well I haven’t gone through hormones yet so I can’t really answer that question yet.
Monika: Could you describe your childhood? When did you feel for the first time that you should not be a boy or man?
Phoebe: Well, when I was a child I always felt like a girl. I played with Barbies and Bratz, and I always dressed up in my mom’s clothes. I think I knew I was never a boy ever since I became friends with girls.
Monika: For most transgender girls, the most traumatic time is the time spent at school, college, or university when they had to face lots of discrimination. Was it the same in your case?
Phoebe: For me, it wasn’t bad at all, but when I got into college and I went every day as myself I did get looks and people saying things behind my back. But I never did anything but trust me I wanted to tell them to shut up.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow?
Phoebe: I don’t know that many but I love Carmen Carrera and anyone who doesn’t care what others think and be themselves.
Phoebe: Well right now I’m just living my life as a crossdresser but I am hoping to start hormones soon.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the results of the hormone therapy?
Phoebe: Well I haven’t gone through hormones yet so I can’t really answer that question yet.
Monika: Could you describe your childhood? When did you feel for the first time that you should not be a boy or man?
Phoebe: Well, when I was a child I always felt like a girl. I played with Barbies and Bratz, and I always dressed up in my mom’s clothes. I think I knew I was never a boy ever since I became friends with girls.
Monika: For most transgender girls, the most traumatic time is the time spent at school, college, or university when they had to face lots of discrimination. Was it the same in your case?
Phoebe: For me, it wasn’t bad at all, but when I got into college and I went every day as myself I did get looks and people saying things behind my back. But I never did anything but trust me I wanted to tell them to shut up.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow?
Phoebe: I don’t know that many but I love Carmen Carrera and anyone who doesn’t care what others think and be themselves.
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| She is so happy with her life so far. |
Monika: What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
Phoebe: The hardest thing is for my family to keep calling me a boy or by my male name. It’s just really annoying.
Monika: What is your general view on the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Phoebe: Well I don’t know that much but I do think it’s really hard for us to fit in because some have really low voices and it makes it so much harder to fit in and make us believable women.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Phoebe: I do, but I don’t have enough money to buy that many name brands. I mainly just wear clothes that seem really cute and show my curves. lol
Monika: What do you think about transgender beauty pageants?
Sammy: I love them; it just shows that we aren’t any more different from a real natural-born woman.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of your local LGBT community?
Phoebe: Not really, because I don’t have much time to help out but if I had time available I would. I would love to meet more people like me.
Phoebe: The hardest thing is for my family to keep calling me a boy or by my male name. It’s just really annoying.
Monika: What is your general view on the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Phoebe: Well I don’t know that much but I do think it’s really hard for us to fit in because some have really low voices and it makes it so much harder to fit in and make us believable women.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Phoebe: I do, but I don’t have enough money to buy that many name brands. I mainly just wear clothes that seem really cute and show my curves. lol
Monika: What do you think about transgender beauty pageants?
Sammy: I love them; it just shows that we aren’t any more different from a real natural-born woman.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of your local LGBT community?
Phoebe: Not really, because I don’t have much time to help out but if I had time available I would. I would love to meet more people like me.
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| Phoebe and her two closest friends. |
Monika: Do you intend to get married and have a family? Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Phoebe: I do, but not anytime soon. I’ve never had a good time in love. Most guys I meet only want sex and no men want a relationship anymore.
Phoebe: I do, but not anytime soon. I’ve never had a good time in love. Most guys I meet only want sex and no men want a relationship anymore.
Monika: What would you recommend to transgender women that are afraid of early transition, discrimination and hatred?
Phoebe: I would say if you are afraid just wait and in the meantime dress up and have fun at night time; no one will know. But if you are even too afraid to do that just do it in your room and just express yourself. Create a YouTube channel and get out there. Trust me it gets better.
Phoebe: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Sammy: In the present, my next step is to get on hormones. In 5-7 years I see myself in a relationship hopefully engaged or married and fully transitioned.
Phoebe: I would say if you are afraid just wait and in the meantime dress up and have fun at night time; no one will know. But if you are even too afraid to do that just do it in your room and just express yourself. Create a YouTube channel and get out there. Trust me it gets better.
Phoebe: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Sammy: In the present, my next step is to get on hormones. In 5-7 years I see myself in a relationship hopefully engaged or married and fully transitioned.
Monika: Could you say that you are a happy woman now?
Phoebe: Yes I can, even though there are days that I just hate life but I always pull through it with the help of my YouTube family and my friends.
Monika: Sammy, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Phoebe (Sammy12534).
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
