Fernanda Milán is a Guatemalan transgender activist who made history as the first transgender person to be granted asylum in Denmark. Forced to leave her homeland after experiencing persecution, violence and threats connected to her identity and activism, she faced a difficult legal battle before finally receiving refugee status in November 2013. Her case drew support from LGBT organizations and activists in Denmark and internationally, including Transgender Europe, ILGA and OASIS Guatemala, as well as countless individuals who campaigned for her right to remain safe.
Having experienced rejection and discrimination from an early age, Fernanda became committed to challenging prejudice and fighting for a world where everyone can live with dignity and equality. Her work encompasses transgender rights, gender-based violence and human trafficking. She is also a co-founder of Trans-Project, writes for the human trafficking information website Talk Trafficking, and has been working on a novel blending autobiography and fiction. A lover of fashion and the performing arts, Fernanda believes in the importance of solidarity between different movements for social justice. In this interview, she reflects on her journey to asylum, the challenges facing transgender women in Guatemala and Denmark, her activism, her hopes for love and family, and her determination to help build a more inclusive world.
Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to welcome you, Fernanda. Hello!
Fernanda: Hi Monika! Thank you for your time and for being so patient with the delay of the interview. I hope you are well!
Monika: Your fight for asylum in 2013 was an immense challenge. Take us back to that time and tell us about your life in Guatemala and your emigration to Denmark.
Fernanda: Well, as you say, the fight for asylum was very challenging in so many ways. As for Guatemala, it is a difficult place for a transgender woman. I would like to be more general about the issue of living there because this is the context that I happen to have shared with so many people. It is an environment of rejection by your family circles, friends, education institutes, and workplaces. When you decide to start your transition or to come out of “the closet,” you live ostracized from everything that you know because, in general, all the girls back there feel that they were born female, which is in contrast with the public opinion that being a trans woman is a choice.
Monika: What made you become an activist, and what finally forced you to leave your home country?
Fernanda: I decided to become an activist because of that and due to the fact that I have witnessed extreme violence against myself, my friends and the LGBT population in general. After some years I was forced to run away from my home country. I just happened to end up in Denmark, which was not the original plan. But there I was with a story in front of the Danish society and authorities.
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| Two shots of happy, one shot of sad. |
Monika: You have said that the Guatemalan police attacked and threatened you because of your transgender activism. How would you describe the general attitude toward transgender women in Guatemala?
Fernanda: As a matter of fact, that was the reason I left. As I have just mentioned, the attitude towards me was completely negative. The Church condemns our “lifestyle,” as they call it, and that permeates the rest of society. As a result, we are subject to double standards, rejection and denial of opportunities. This forces us to do things that are not well seen in the “Guatemalan Moral Code.” Then we are punished and our rights are violated for living in the context that we are forced to live in. It might sound complex, but it is very simple. The society is saying that we hetero-normative patriarchal practitioners have the right to a normal life, but YOU transgender people don’t.
Monika: How does that hostility shape the daily lives of activists?
Fernanda: All of this boils down to the common acts of violence and racism. All activists live in constant fear. The Church and the state, which is very religion-oriented, see us sometimes (if not most of the time) as enemies. We suffer from threats, attacks, kidnappings, torture, and many other crimes for trying to change our society into a place that is civil to everyone.
Monika: Reaching Denmark was not the end of the struggle, because the Danish authorities did not want to believe you. How did you deal with that?
Fernanda: Well, I honestly think that the Danish authorities are trained to prove wrong everybody who comes in search of help. It is a more or less well-functioning system that is very jealous of its own prevalence and survival. The lack of information and experience of repression on their part makes them doubtful of our life stories. I do not blame them, but it is devastating and exhausting to be an asylum seeker in this land.
Monika: The T-Refugee Project and the wider Danish LGBT community assisted you throughout the process. Who else stood by you?
Fernanda: LGBT Denmark, the T-Refugee Project, many other entities in Denmark and many individual people, but also internationally, Transgender Europe, ILGA and OASIS Guatemala were key players in my case. There was also the group of fantastic people in England who held demonstrations in front of the embassy, and also in Spain. A great number of blogs, Facebook posts and an uncountable number of people doing things that I wouldn’t be able to mention in such a short time were just as important in saving my life. I will be eternally grateful to all these people. I would like to name them one by one, but I do not dare because I am afraid to leave someone unmentioned.
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| Fernanda was supported by many LGBT organizations and individuals. |
Monika: The final asylum decision was reversed just three days before your scheduled departure on 17 September 2013. How did it feel when the legal battle was finally over?
Fernanda: Actually, the case was just reopened that day. My trip back to Guatemala was delayed for “security reasons” for another week. I was somehow compromised not to deliver that information before; now I think it is irrelevant. But on 17 September 2013, they notified me that my case was reopened due to a request of the Minister of Justice. Thanks to that, my deportation (or my voluntary return, as they would like to call it) was put on hold. I had to wait until the last days of November (I can’t believe I don’t remember the exact day) when they finally agreed to give me refugee status in Denmark. That day and for about a week more I felt very happy and relieved.
Monika: How did you cope once the relief faded and the emotions of that long wait caught up with you?
Fernanda: After that I had to process all the feelings that the wait put me through, and it was a very difficult process that lasted for a year and a half. I also had to deal with all the factors that brought me to that position. It was a very painful journey and I felt that I wouldn’t make it. But I kept remembering the words that my grandmother used to tell me before she died: “There’s no dirt that you cannot clean.” And the only thing that I am sure of right now is that I am a survivor, and that was only a good point to start.
Monika: Looking back at your transition, were there any transgender role models you could follow?
Fernanda: Well, unfortunately not. As I have mentioned, the attitude towards transgender women back home was very negative. I couldn’t access any information until I was sent away from home. Anyway, I don’t feel I went through a transition. I have always felt like a female for as long as I can remember. In my Disney period, as I like to call it (between 6 and 10 probably), I started to see that anatomically I didn’t match with the rest of the girls. So, I was sure that a fairy godmother would appear to “fix me” with magic. I still blush when I talk about that, but it was a part of my reality.
Monika: Once you left home, did you find people who could guide you?
Fernanda: Luckily, I started hormone therapy very early because I declared my identity very soon too. Away from home, I found girls like me, and they shared the information that they had. I felt like I grew up with the trans movement in my country, and we were together from scratch. During my life, I have met many friends and persons who are amazing, and their lives are as hard as they are admirable. And I can honestly tell you that every trans woman who is fighting for a place in this world is my role model.
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| A real fashionista. |
Monika: Coming out is rarely easy. What was the hardest part for you?
Fernanda: Well, I think I came out when I was around 3 or 4 years old. It is a story that I do not remember well, but the consequences were catastrophic for my infant life. For Halloween, my mom asked me who I wanted to be dressed as, and I innocently replied: “As Wonder Woman.” My father went crazy about it and beat me up badly. It was when I started to suffer from bullying, not only from my family but also from schoolmates.
Monika: Did school offer any refuge from that rejection?
Fernanda: In a series of countless abuses, one day I was sent out of my Drama School because the principal thought that being myself was aggressive towards the alumni of the institution. Parents were concerned, complaints were made, as far as he told me. So I cannot tell what was more difficult, so many unfortunate things that after so many years I have finally been able to overcome.
Monika: Tell us how you see the present situation of transgender women in Danish society.
Fernanda: I think it does not differ as much from the situation in other countries of the world. The advantage here is the non-violent culture and welfare. Though there are some episodes of harassment and attacks, I guess that they happen more often than the whole society can imagine. I heard of an incident during the Pride last weekend. Namely, a trans woman was almost killed with a hammer last summer.
Monika: Does Denmark also offer reasons for optimism, or do trans women remain on the margins?
Fernanda: But there are also more success stories that I have never seen in Latin America. Still, trans women live marginalized in what I think is a combination of lack of interest on both parts, state and community. I should clarify that I am not an expert on the issue because I have been concentrating more on my well-being than on being involved in the general situation. So I can just say what my perception is, based on a very limited knowledge of Danish society.
Monika: Could transgender rights be seen as the new frontier for human rights?
Fernanda: I think that any cause can be the new frontier when we talk about human rights because it is all about humankind. We are all only that. Human beings. But what I believe firmly in is alliances. I think also that feminism and racism are so close to our problems that in supporting this or any other cause we would make a step forward. If any sector of society takes a step forward, we all do.
Monika: Is there a danger of focusing so much on our own struggle that other people’s suffering fades from view?
Fernanda: We are sometimes over-victimized, and it is a sad reality that we have to deal with on a daily basis, but I would be careful not to diminish or overlook other people’s sufferings and struggles because together we are stronger. And we are all fighting against a big monster that has led us to the place where we are now. Everything is a mess and there are people dying every day and everywhere because of injustice and phobias. I am learning to live with that and choose my battles, but it is a heartbreaking process. But, at the end of the day, I think transgender people are moving forward slowly, and that is the most important thing.
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| Knitting something fashionable. |
Monika: How involved are you in politics, and do you take part in any lobbying campaigns? Can transgender women genuinely make a difference in politics?
Fernanda: I would start answering that question by telling you that I do not differentiate between trans women and the rest of the female kind. We are all women; the only difference is that some need reassignment treatments and others reproductive ones. And we can see that more and more women make a difference in their domestic politics, as in the case of Cuba, Argentina, Chile, Brazil, and the first female Prime Minister in Denmark, just to mention some of them.
Monika: Are those examples enough to change the political landscape?
Fernanda: Even though there are some positive examples, it is not yet enough. We need to get involved and support each other to reach decision-making positions. I have read some statistics that the majority of those who vote for female leaders are not women. And I understand the complexity of the situation, but the support starts there. We need to make a front against patriarchy in the whole sense, from the leadership, going through the media image of women, to the way that we relate to each other. Men are also included in this equation because more and more of them can see the potential in having equality. Our male-oriented societies are also hard on them, even though we are the ones who suffer more in the end. Nevertheless, the movement must be inclusive.
Monika: And what about you personally? Which causes are you involved in?
Fernanda: Personally, I am involved in some activities on gender issues, human trafficking, and violence against trans women. I have had to put my guard a little down in the name of recovery, but I am proudly involved in some fantastic projects, trying to keep a low profile, and mostly when I am asked to. But “none of us will be free till the last of us finish suffering.” So I think it is just a human obligation to be involved as much as you can.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Fernanda Milán.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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