Bobbie Lang is an American transgender activist, businesswoman, blogger, Vietnam veteran, and author of Transgender Christians in Chains (2013). She began her transition in 1981, at a time when public understanding of transgender people was limited and the distinction between gender identity and sexual orientation was unfamiliar to many. Having served as a non-commissioned officer in the United States Air Force, she faced the challenges of reconciling her transition with her Christian faith and family life. Her personal journey was further complicated by rejection from several churches, experiences that eventually led her to spend sixteen years away from church congregations while maintaining her faith through private devotion.
Originally written as a memoir for her daughter and family, her book became an opportunity to reach others struggling with questions of gender identity, religion, and acceptance. Through her work with the Rosenberg Clinic in Texas, her participation in medical and psychological conferences, and her ongoing educational efforts, Bobbie has sought to promote a better understanding of transgender women within Christian communities. She also writes on her blog, Bobbie Lang and Transgender Christians in Chains, where she seeks to bridge the gap between the church and the LGBT community. In this interview, Bobbie shares her experiences of transition, discusses the challenges transgender people face in religious institutions and American society, and reflects on the importance of faith, love, and finding peace with oneself.
Monika: Hello Bobbie, and welcome!
Bobbie: Hi Monika, thank you so much for asking me to be part of this wonderful group of people who are doing so much to advance the acceptance and civil rights of the trans community.
Monika: Tell me how your story began.
Bobbie: Well, to start with, I started my transition in 1981 and had GRS in 1984. At that time the term “transgender” had not even been coined yet. We were called transsexuals, and even the professional community knew very little of this dysphoria. Many of the medical and therapeutic specialists thought this disorder could be alleviated with extensive and lengthy psychological treatment. Sadly, I find this approach is still widely believed within most denominational Christian churches. At the time of my transition, I had just been discharged and disgraced from my career as an Air Force NCO. I was married to a fine lady and had a seven-year-old daughter. I was deeply involved in my church and had serious questions about how my transition would affect my family and my walk with God.
Monika: You published your autobiography, Transgender Christians in Chains, in 2013. What made you decide to write it?
Bobbie: It was never my intent to write a book, and I certainly never intended for it to be published. In 2012, when I conceived the idea of a memoir, I realized that I had spent three decades explaining the circumstances and reasons for my transition to various members of the professional and educational community, friends, and co-workers, but I had never explained them to my daughter and family. So I wrote the book for them. Afterward, I was compelled by many people to offer the book for publication, as it may help others who are struggling with transition and Biblical and family questions and complications.
|
| 1983 During transition. |
Monika: Your journey has given you a great deal of hard-won knowledge. Which aspects of your experience could be useful to other trans women?
Bobbie: I have been on a journey of over thirty years since transitioning, and I have learned where the land mines are and how to avoid them. I have also learned where the watering holes are. All I can say to others following the same path is to be confident in who you are. Spend time observing other women: how they dress, how they speak, and how they move.
Monika: And what about stepping out in public? Do you have any practical tips?
Bobbie: When out in public, dress appropriately for the location you are in. I have found dressing down causes far less attention than dressing up. Carry yourself with confidence. People don’t look at physical appearance or voice inflection as much as they do the persona of confidence. If you believe in yourself and act like you belong, others will too.
Monika: You also mention a spiritual side to what you have learned. What insights did you gain about God’s view of transgender people?
Bobbie: Another valuable thing I have learned along my journey is insight and revelations about God’s view of transgender people. Through extensive Bible study, I found nothing in the Word of God about it. However, down on my prayerful knees, God revealed Himself to me and showed me that God loved me whether I was male or female. All He expected of me was to “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” When I learned to put God first in my life, I learned to have peace.
Monika: Your book often touches on your Christian faith. Why, in your view, does God seem so merciless towards transgender people, placing their minds in the bodies of the opposite gender?
Bobbie: Let me make one thing perfectly clear: God is not merciless toward transgender people. Gender Identity Dysphoria is just that, dysphoria (not that we are broken, just different). It is something that is either congenital or caused by prenatal or natal development. It is not a choice. God is not the author of any dysphoria or anything that can be even remotely considered bad or irregular. It is because of the mercy of God and the strength of His Word that I got through many long dark nights when it seemed all hope was lost. Early on in my transition, I was given the vision of the apostle Peter walking on the water, as described in Matthew 14:22-33.
Monika: How did that vision shape the way you saw your own path?
Bobbie: On my left side, I felt the gender therapists scratching my itchy ear with the things they thought I wanted to hear. On my right side, my childhood Sunday School training and the direction I thought my church wanted me to go seemed to conflict with what I knew was right for me. Through this vision, I knew I had to look neither to the right nor to the left but to keep my eyes upon Jesus. I knew I needed to seek God with all my heart and with all my soul. It was only through Him that I had the courage to find God’s plan for my life.
|
| In 1984, just before GRS. |
Monika: In an earlier interview, Lisa Salazar pointed out that transgender persons are said to be some of the least likely to become involved in religious institutions, such as the Church, since most have been rejected and judged by their Christian families, friends, and faith communities. Do you agree?
Bobbie: I know Lisa and I definitely agree with her. In the Book of Matthew, Jesus solemnly warned those who followed Him about the scribes and Pharisees, who thought they sat in the rightful place in Moses’ seat. The Pharisees dictated to the people to observe the laws, but “They tie up heavy loads, hard to bear, and place them on men’s shoulders but they themselves will not lift a finger to help bear them” (Matthew 23:4). Since the first church after the Resurrection of Christ, the Church has struggled with doctrinal beliefs and with what should and should not be taught. The apostles Paul and Peter struggled with this and often did not agree. Once doctrine was established, these precepts have been taught in the church; however, some doctrines have been added to or taken away, and what may be acceptable in some houses of worship may be strictly forbidden in others. God expects each one of us to find through conviction what His plan is for each one of us personally.
Monika: Did you face that kind of rejection in your own life?
Bobbie: In my own life, I have been rejected by a number of churches. During my transition, I would start a new fellowship, entrench myself in the varied outreach programs, and become a leader in the women’s ministries. I was still trying to find God’s plan for my life and felt I needed prayer support and discipleship to help me hear more clearly the voice of God. As I became better known in the church as a Godly woman, someone who loved God with all her heart, I finally felt comfortable enough to confide in the pastoral staff about my past and asked for partnership in prayer for God to reveal His divine plan and call upon my life. I was not asking for “answers” or “judgment” directly from them but to help me through prayer and discipleship. However, judgment is what I received, and I was removed from the fellowship. I was not allowed to share with others the spiritual gifts that God had given to me and trusted me with. I was pushed into a corner and ignored. I was not barred from the congregation, but I was not allowed the fellowship of God’s family.
Monika: Did that experience make you turn away from God as well?
Bobbie: After the third time, I left the church. I did not enter the church doors again for sixteen years. However, I did not give up on God and still worshiped Him through private devotions. And God did not give up on me. Despite being chained out of the church, God’s Word and His Love sustained me all those years. No, Monika, God is not merciless toward transgender people. As He hung upon that cross, He looked down on me and loved me and every other trans person.
|
| One year after GRS. |
Monika: How would you describe the general attitude of the Christian religion toward the transgender phenomenon?
Bobbie: I think it is slowly changing for the better. There are many churches that are more accepting than others. I’m just surprised it is taking so long. I find many Christians are slowly warming up to gender identity dysphoria and are realizing it is real, it is not some choice we made, and it is not a “sin” as they previously believed. As more trans people step out and show that we are each individual and each seeking God’s plan for our life, we will become more accepted. It breaks my heart to see so many give up on God because of the way some churches have treated them.
Monika: You have championed a myriad of causes connected with transgender rights. Which initiatives have you been part of?
Bobbie: During my transition and after my GRS, I was very active with the Rosenberg Clinic in Galveston, Texas. Under the guidance of Dr. Collier Cole, I was afforded the opportunity to speak at many medical symposiums, university medical and psychology conferences, and a few churches. I had major national newspapers seek me out for exclusive stories. After I decided to publish my autobiography, “Transgender Christians in Chains,” I began to see how the journey I have walked may help many others who struggle with some of the things that I did. I am happy that I was able to be a pioneer in the early 1980s, blazing a trail that many others would later follow. Now I am actively involved in the education of the church and in portraying trans women as ordinary women, no different than your mother, your sister, or your wife.
Monika: Turning to the present, how do you see the situation of transgender women in American society?
Bobbie: Gains have been made, but there is still such a long way to go. Trans rights are on the table and discussed in many areas of employment. HR resources are available in many large companies. Insurance companies are beginning to recognize and tailor appropriate insurance for the trans community. I know this doesn’t sound like much to the current trans community, but, as I said, many gains have been made.
Monika: You faced serious obstacles at work during your own transition. What did that look like?
Bobbie: During my transition, I was working for the City of Houston, Texas, and I was completely dropped from both my health and life insurance. The AIDS epidemic was getting its footing, and my GID seemed to be too high a risk to chance insuring me. Also, my family insurance coverage was dropped. I was forbidden to even let my hair grow out, and makeup and wearing feminine clothes were strictly forbidden. I was once severely reprimanded for even talking about my GID to a co-worker. Frequent visits to the municipal HR office yielded nothing.
|
| Ten years after GRS. |
Monika: What challenges remain for the community today?
Bobbie: There is still such a long way to go. Though some of the more progressive companies are protecting and safeguarding trans rights, many employers do not. Capable employees are often overlooked for promotion and stuffed into a corner and ignored. Many are barred from housing and not allowed to serve openly in the military. Violence against us is still very high, and access to appropriate restrooms is still barred. Health insurance is still denied to many of us, and too many of us are too often unjustly or inappropriately incarcerated. And at the top of my list is that the doors of most houses of worship are chained, so that when we seek prayer support and discipleship to make perhaps the most important decision in our lives, we are turned away.
Monika: How old were you when you transitioned, and was it a difficult process?
Bobbie: I started my transition in 1981 at the age of 34. I was 37 when I had GRS. It was not a very difficult process for me physically. I was 5’8” and had always been very petite with good hair, and that played well for transitioning. The voice was not very difficult with practice. I was very fortunate. I was always so sad for so many who were not afforded the opportunities I had.
Monika: Were there any transgender role models you looked up to back then?
Bobbie: To my knowledge, at the time of my transition Christine Jorgensen and Renee Richards were the only ones. About this time there was a James Bond film, “For Your Eyes Only,” that had a transgender woman in it. I think I watched that film like fifty times. I remember as a small lad hearing of Christine Jorgensen. It seemed amazing that medical technology would be able to perform such a procedure. I read Ms. Richards’s book and fantasized that perhaps that could be me. From that day forward I dreamed of following in her footsteps; however, I was very confused about my sexuality. I had always assumed that to feel like a girl, you must be attracted to boys. I was not, and that just confused me. It was not until 1981, when I heard about the Rosenberg Clinic and Dr. Cole’s practice, that I even heard the word transsexual and learned that sexual orientation and sexual identity were two different things. That seemed to be one of the biggest hurdles I had to cross.
Monika: Coming out is rarely easy. What was the hardest part for you?
Bobbie: Absolutely, the two hardest things about making the decision to transition were my religion and my family, in that order. My friends were very accepting and supported me very well. My spouse was already searching for a way to end our marriage, and my daughter was so young she just loved me whatever gender I was.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Bobbie Lang.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
